Tell my kids I fought the good fight. That every night before I went to sleep I asked God to give me their pain and their suffering and let ME be the one to bear their burdens or take their bad Kharma. Tell them that the only reason I fought it so long was for them.

I fought to give them a good life, to teach them good life lessons, and give them the skills they will need to be successful adults without having to learn everything the hard way.

Tell them that I know I failed many times. But my hope is that they will remember the times when I succeeded. Remember the times when my advice or the example I set made a positive difference in their lives.

Tell them that no matter how hard life gets it is always worth fighting the good fight.
Ask them to remember to do the one thing that I frequently failed to do: fight the good fight with a smile on their face and a song in their heart. Because fighting the good fight only to end up on your death bed seeing that you lived your life as a miserable person isn’t a pleasant last thought to have before meeting your maker.

Ask them to remember that when they look in the mirror each day that at least half of them is their mother. Tell them this means they have at least a 50% chance of being a better person than I ever was because of it.

Tell them that even though my body is gone, my spirit and soul will always look after them. Tell them this is because I love them more than life itself. That even on my very best day I would trade my life to save theirs.

Tell them that they must move on and live full and happy lives. Most of all…tell them I will ALWAYS love them.

P.S. I'm not dying. I'm not planning on dying. I've been in extremely intense physical pain off and on for the past week and have yet to get a reasonable diagnosis. Today I got to the point where even pain medication won't help.
I got scared that this may be a sign that whether I like it or not this could be the end. But I have no evidence to that effect...just pain.

My post was just to make sure that I was able to at least express what is truly most important to me in life: my kids.

Im very sorry you are in such pain,i will be praying for you.What you wrote to your children is very precious!!!! I really wish I knew what to say but I do want you to know I read your post and I will be thinking and praying for you.




sandra

First off soft gentle hugs to you. Where is the pain located? What tests have been done?

Second I'd like my kids to know no matter how much they love me, miss me I love and miss them this much more [---].

My pain was in my middle back last week and was accompanied by numbness, burning and itching around my right right cage. This led me through a series of tests and an ultrasound and a round of pain meds...yadiyadayada.
It seems to have been shingles which I took 7 days of Anti-viral meds for.
That stunk bc I had to take on every 4.5 hours so I HAD to wake up to take one if I was sleeping. (3 days into it I find out the doctor could have prescribed a new kind that you only take 2 times a day! The doc who wrote the script was the "on call" doc not my regular MD.).
I finished those yesterday and had my first night of more than 2 hours sleep in more than 10 days.
I woke up, went to the bathroom...laid down and slept for 20 minutes more and was awakened by severe pain 3 inches lower than the original pain in my back. It was SO bad I actually sat on the couch and cried for 15 minutes bc nothing worked. Not even taking double my prescribed pain meds.
I seriously thought, and the jury is still out on this one, that I had some terminal illness and the bonehead doctors were just missing it.

After another trip to the doctor I'm on another pail med, some anti inflamatory meds, and muscle relaxors. This doctor thinks I just have a muscle spasm in my back. She explained it is a complication of the other situation I had which they really couldn't pin down to a definitive prognosis.
(btw, this is the same "on call" doc who scripted an outdated med.)
I'm taking one of the muscle relaxors right now and going to sleep. They're suppose to knock me out. So far the other meds she has me on have NO effect.

I have NINE pill bottles on my counter (not counting my ADD meds) and I feel more like a chemistry experiment than a patient. I can't believe how much the medical profession has become the 21st century drug pusher.

I guess we did legalize drug dealing after all. You just have to go to school for a few years to get the job. What happened to treating the source of the problem instead of the symptom.

This doctor said "we need to remove the pain first so you can become active and stretch. The stretching will make it so your body can relax and heal itself".

So, I guess I'll get the stretching in while I"m knocked out on muscle relaxors.

This is pretty much a pain driven rant. It doesn't make me feel better.
So what's new?
I've come to the conclusion that my purpose in life does not include anything to do with being happy. Now, I just need to figure out what that purpose is...and it's not to be a chemical testing facility for my local MD!

OH, ONE OTHER THING! DO YOU KNOW THAT I SAW A TV AD TODAY FOR SOME MED FOR "Chronic Dry Eye".

Why don't they just come up with two new drugs for everyone? Drug one could be "Chronic Erect Posture Syndrome" and would be for people who work too many hours standing on their feet. Drug 2 could be "Chronic Lead Butt Syndrome" and would be for people who spend too many hours sitting somewhere and working.

(I know what you're thinking.....but why would we ever need a drug to treat the oldest profession known to mankind? :D)

FB,

I thought I would pass on some of my knowledge of shingles that comes from years of working with residents who have flare ups and from having a daughter afflicted with shingles. Your best defence against a re-occurance is a good offense you know what they say know thy enemy.

Shingles is caused by a reactivation of the dormant virus in the nerves of people who have previously had chickenpox. As a result shingles can unfortunatly occur more than once.

You cannot do much to avoid a re-occurance. It is not caught from contact with someone who has shingles or with chickenpox. But, if you have shingles you should stay away from other people as much as possible until the blisters have dried (usually about seven days), as there are virus particles in the blister fluid that can make at risk individuals catch the chickenpox from you. At risk individuals would be those with AIDS, on steroid therapy, chemo, cancer patients and pregnant women.

Re-occurance occurs when there is a decrease in your body's natural resistance, which may come through other infections, stress, being generally run down, or occasionally when the body's immune defences are affected by certain drugs or other immune deficiancies.

Many people are surprised by how ill they feel with shingles. There is a general debility and exhaustion, sometimes aches and pains and sometimes even mild fever. Depression is often a feature of shingles, as in many other viruses. You may need up to three weeks off of work.

If any of the blisters become infected with ordinary germs the area becomes more red and sore and may take longer to heal. I believe the doctor prescribed a longer dosage med to safeguard against infection.

The most affective way to curb pain is by taking a non steroidal anti-inflammatory drug, as long as they do not upset your stomach or interact with any medications you are currently taking. In addition calamine lotion can help soothe the afflicted area.

Some people still experiance with pain affecting the area for many months even years. It is important to keep in contact with your physician should this occur you may need to visit with a pain specialist.

My daughter (9) has re-occuring bouts of shingles when she is very ill with virul infections strep throat, etc. Since shingles are caused by an infected nerve they generally re-appear in the same place everytime though not to be counted on. She knows that if for a few days her skin starts to itch for no reason or she has a mild burning sensation she is to let us know immediatly. As oral meds only shorten the duration of a breakout and must be given within 48 hours of breakout or they are not affective.

We have found ways to make her more comfortable by starting with the anti-inflammatory pain meds first. Only in extreme cases do we have to resort to anti-inflammatories and pain meds. Ice packs help releive some of the pain. Callomine lotion works wonders for her itching and we make sure she stays in the softest clothing as possible she generally prefers Hanes because their seems are less irritating.

The important thing for you right now is to get plenty of rest when possible. Rant away here when it isn't possible to make life for those who live with you everyday and love you a little easier, its easy for us to let it roll off our backs. And after your breakout has healed take very, very good care of yourself and learn to spot signs of a breakout so that you can get early intervention which will make symptoms much easier to tolerate.

Thinking of you,
Cherity

Ouchy FB

My brother whos in his 30's had shingles last year. He told be about the pain he had.

Hope you feel better very soon :)

Pain from shingles can be relieved


reprinted from Bottom Line Line/Tomorrow (http://www.bottomlinesecrets.com/blpnet/offers/sub_blt.html?sid=article), December 1, 1999
URL: http://www.bottomlinesecrets.com/blpnet/article.html?article_id=18148 <!-- article text --> Pain from shingles can be relieved very effectively by the Lidoderm patch, we hear from Michael C. Rowbotham, MD. Nerve injury from a shingles outbreak often causes postherpetic neuralgia (PHN), excruciating pain that continues for months or years, particularly in people over age 60. The most effective topical method of easing the pain is the Lidoderm patch, an adhesive patch about 4" by 5.5" that releases the analgesic lidocaine directly on to the affected area. Recently approved by the FDA, the patch relieves PHN pain without causing numbness or any of the side effects caused by other methods of relief. Caution: People with a history of drug sensitivity should be cautious in using the patch.


Q: What's the best way to control pain caused by shingles?

John Edelglass, MD
Yale University, School of Mediciine

reprinted from Bottom Line/Health (http://www.bottomlinesecrets.com/blpnet/offers/sub_blh.html?sid=article), February 1, 1999
URL: http://www.bottomlinesecrets.com/blpnet/article.html?article_id=21573 <!-- article text -->

Q What's the best way to control pain caused by shingles?

A Ask a doctor about taking famciclovir (Famvir) or valacyclovir (Valtrex). Do so right away. The longer you wait, the worse the outbreak is likely to be and the more painful it maybe. Helpful: Apply a compress made with the over-the-counter (OTC) astringent Burrow's solution (Domeboro). If pain persists after the skin lesions have healed, use Zostrix or another OTC ointment containing capsaicin, the hot pepper extract. Shingles is caused by varicella zoster, the virus that causes chicken pox.


and from:
Did you know that....as more children are vaccinated against chicken pox, more adults may get shingles? Reason: The same virus causes both illnesses. Some scientists believe that exposure to children with chicken pox helps adults develop immunity against shingles- so more vaccinated kids could mean a higher risk of shingles for adults.


Marietta Vazquez, MD, assistant professor of pediatrics. Yale University School of Medicine, New Haven, Connecticut.


(from BottomLine Personal Vol 26, Nr. 16 - August 15,2005)

I personally adore pain patches and would like to see them used more rather then oral meds.