View Full Version : difficulty being heard


livinginchaos
08-08-05, 09:10 PM
I remember when I was younger, and even sometimes now, my parents listened to me, but never really heard what I said.

Do any of you run into this problem?

if so, is this an uphill battle? What are some solutions for getting people to hear what we are saying? (aside from yelling, because this never, ever works)

fasttalkingmom
08-08-05, 09:44 PM
I'm not sure because Is still have this issue as well.

Advice I've got here has helped me, I try to talk with a less threating voice and think over what I want to say.

speedo
08-08-05, 10:32 PM
I have that difficulty continuously. People don't seem to understanbd what I say sometimes. I have to spend some extra effort to reword what I say so tha tpeople understand me. Sometimes they still don't get it. I guess I must seem odd to most people because of that.


Me :D



I remember when I was younger, and even sometimes now, my parents listened to me, but never really heard what I said.

Do any of you run into this problem?

if so, is this an uphill battle? What are some solutions for getting people to hear what we are saying? (aside from yelling, because this never, ever works)

crime_scene
08-08-05, 10:48 PM
I'm going to sound like an idiot, so well you may laugh, but when my friend says something, and I try to paraphrase to feedback to ensure i get it, I reasonably often didnt' quite get it. Not the simple stuff, I mean, but the more complex stuff involving perceptions and feelings.

I can only wonder if what you are experiencing is some version of this: that the brains are sufficiently differnt that their experiences and perceptions when trying to communicate make it seem like you are from different countries....like UK vs US...same language, different culture.

Do you think this is it?

Anyway, if someone is trying to get my attention to express themselves, touching me would work..making a special appointment to talk to me would work. Saying: I'm serious about this would work.

Is it the same subject or point you try to make that gets bypassed by people?

livinginchaos
08-08-05, 11:21 PM
I agree, crime_scene. I think experiences people have/haven't had make a difference in understanding what is being conveyed. I think that's one of the biggest reasons, actually.

You don't sound like an idiot!!

It's not necessarily a prevalent problem in my life right now, but it was when I was a teen.

My main thought for starting this thread is regarding parents, family members or friends who don't have ADD. I think that it can be difficult for a parent to hear and understand what their child is going through if they haven't been there themselves. I think this is prevalent for ADDers and for other issues that parents didn't experience when they were younger.

speedo
08-08-05, 11:53 PM
crime_scene that is exactly what I do. I am so used to it that I do not get frustrated. So I either reword, or paraphrase and resay it to make sure I am understood.

It helps, but is no cure.

It is as though I am thinking "A" and others think "B"

Me :D

livinginchaos
08-09-05, 01:52 AM
But there are times when people just don't understand or don't want to hear what you're saying - no matter how many different variations you give them.

I want this thread to be a discussion and a vent about things they want people to hear and understand about themselves.
Then, what can we do to resolve them or to understand why others don't hear or understand.

What are somethings you want people to hear and understand about you??

crime_scene
08-09-05, 06:26 PM
Oh, cool. I see. I'd be really interested in learning about that myself, so I will watch this thread with interest.

good idea, chaos.

was just throwing my nonADD 2 cents in.

livinginchaos
08-09-05, 07:34 PM
I don't think it has to just an ADDer thread, because I think everyone has these moments where no one gets is, due to not having the same experiences.

As I've gotten older, I've had less of these moments, but as a teenager - I thought no one understood me; when i tried to explain, it was difficult being heard.

Crazygirl79
08-14-05, 10:10 PM
I WENT THROUGH THIS AS A KID AND I STILL GO THROUGH THIS SH*T NOW!!!!

I know what it's like to say something and feel like you haven't been heard...it's frustrating, upsetting and annoying.:mad:

livinginchaos
08-15-05, 12:39 AM
are there specific areas that you think are typical to teens, crazygirl?

Gil R
08-15-05, 09:21 AM
I feel this way when i talk to my parents....Actually, they ignore me.
It is frustrated and it makes me wanna do *something* to them.




*physical

livinginchaos
08-15-05, 05:27 PM
Have you told them this, Gil??

Crybaby1898
08-18-05, 07:38 PM
I love the Bob Dylan thing. you are right at the fact that yelling,screaming, even your actions and tone can be setting off the wrong vibe toward your parents or any one else you are trying to talk to. Honestly i have had this problem and it really depends on the situation and problem you are having.

Crazygirl79
08-18-05, 08:48 PM
Yes.

1: Depression....people not taking you seriously
2: School work difficulties....people thinking you're lazy or stupid
3: Social relationships...having social problems and being an outcast
4: Bullying...constantly being harrassed.

I think all of these things are typical to teenagers and most ADD/ADHD teens have difficulties in the above areas and sometimes when they tell someone they aren't heard or their claims dismissed by people who don't understand , I know myself I tried so hard to be a great person during my teen and when I did experience difficulties I found that no one listened and it took a serious suicide attempt before anyone would listen, depending on the school communities attitude towards people who are "different" a person with ADD/ADHD can either flunk or thrive meaning some will be heard and others won't be....I was one that wasn't heard, so yes I can relate to not being heard

Selena
are there specific areas that you think are typical to teens, crazygirl?

Crybaby1898
09-09-05, 02:27 PM
Ohh god yes i do Imeaan they just say your ebing to emotionaly