View Full Version : Do you forget that household chores exist?


ClearConfusion
08-13-05, 06:55 PM
Do you ever forget that things like household chores exist?

I'll give an example: Now my bf and I cook dinner every second day since a few months back, but before that it often came like news to me that there was something called dinner and that someone would need to prepare it.

Pigeon
08-13-05, 07:06 PM
hehe, you mean like when we replaced our dishwasher with more cabinet space....

What's the sponge for???

lol

pembroke
08-13-05, 09:42 PM
yes, i forget, until the particular chore gangs up on me. i.e. dusting and vacuming. with 2 cats, one of them long-haired, and a dog, also long-haired, the dust bunnies cross-pollinate with the animal fur and collect like tumbleweeds in corners and under furniture.....until they become so large, the corners are screaming to be liberated.

fasttalkingmom
08-13-05, 09:53 PM
Ummmmmm, household what? you must be speaking a different language I don't understand those words ;)

UnleashTheHound
08-13-05, 10:19 PM
that reminds me, I have a pile of laundry that needs to be started...

pembroke
08-13-05, 10:21 PM
since i get bored easily while i am on work hiatus, the house tends to be cleaner than when i am at work. and, my daughter is not here; she's in Maine, so i have less laundry to do. the last load is still in the dryer, however, and has been since yesterday. i did manage to get the other four washed, dried and folded and put away! (took 2 days, but it got done)

Imnapl
08-14-05, 12:46 AM
Do you ever forget that things like household chores exist?
As often as possible. :D

ClearConfusion
08-14-05, 01:12 PM
My bf just asked me if I'm going to make dinner today. Originally I'd planned to go see my parents today, but I changed my plans. It didn't occur to me until he asked me that we would eat dinner here if I didn't eat dinner there! lol

I will take a look in the fridge now and see if I get some culinaric inspiration. :)

BlessedLady
08-14-05, 03:38 PM
The first thought I had was "how old are you." Please don't be offended...when you have had 6 kids & as they get older you hear the "Mom doesn't do anything" routine & then a question like your pops up...it's just natural.

Everyone has moved out & I have noticed that I don't even think about dinner or breakfast or lunch for that matter.......until I get hungray or begin to not feel well. I don't bother to make a list for the grocery store anymore, unless I make it on something like my DayPlaner thst I know I will have with me....because I leave it at home & if I do manage to get to the store with it then I forget to take it out........until I get home from the store. I was dx 8 yrs ago & put on the proper meds. I just noticed that I've finally gotten better about the grocery store list just this yr.......could be that its easier to remember things when you don't have people saying "don't forget to get the peanut butter" "don't forget the light bulbs" "don't forget the cooking oil".....you get the picture. For me, it was very confusing when the kids & hubby did that. And I forgot much more than I would have if they hadn't "reminded me."
BlessedLady

mccoffee
08-14-05, 03:44 PM
Do you ever forget that things like household chores exist?

I'll give an example: Now my bf and I cook dinner every second day since a few months back, but before that it often came like news to me that there was something called dinner and that someone would need to prepare it.

yeah i do it's like all day i should be doing stuff like that clean my room or tidy about it the thought dosent' even dawn on me i might pickup room now

ClearConfusion
08-14-05, 03:54 PM
BlessedLady, I'm 29.

I'm not offended. :) Well, I'm not really sure in what way I'd be offended. lol

How come you thought that though?

ClearConfusion
08-14-05, 03:57 PM
Oh, by the way BlessedLady, I hope you were not offended by my post in any way. If so, please tell me, and I'll try to explain what I mean better.

BlessedLady
08-14-05, 08:13 PM
You didn't offend me at all. When kids are growing up all the things that Moms do are just kinda looked at as "just always done" & alot of hubbys are the same way. This applies to working outside the home moms as well as stay at home moms. It's kinda like if you leave a towel on the floor after you get out of the bath/shower.....the next time you go to reach for that towel, it is in the closet, clean, dried & folded......where was it the last time you saw it & how did it get from where you left it to where it is now & ready for you to use it again if you didn't do it & "Mom never does anything around here. What does she do alday?" I thought about stuff like that & the times that it wasn't that dinner was late because I forgot to fix it or didn't care if my family ate it was because after being at the dr's off all morning with a sick baby, then another hr at the drug store while a rx was being filled & then going by the library to drop off the books & pay the late fees because the kids forgot when they were due then kept forgetting to bring them home, then picking up all the kids at their different schools & talking to one of the teachers because she finally had a few spare mins & going to get something 1 of them had to have for a Project that was due tomorrow & they had known about for over 2 wks & they would get a "O if they didn't have it & finally getting home & listening to a Voice Mail message hubby had left asking me to go to the Mall to pick up a cellphone clip for his cellphone cause his had broken & he couldn't hear it ring if it was in his pocket & then having to go to the gas station to get gas cause I had forgotten to check the gas gauge & if I didn't go before I went home I might not make it home.......then finally getting home, again & having to feed the baby because the meds the dr gave her were best taken with her food & putting on a load of clothes to wash & putting the ones I had washed before I took the baby to the dr in the dryer. Anyways...thats the reason(s) everyone thought I had forgotten about supper cause it was so late. And I'm not complaining....I enjoyed every minute of it & up until the last 8 yrs I was undx & not on proper meds for ADD. My oldest is 32 & my youngest is 19. I was a Mom that also worked outside the home as well as a Mom that was a "stay at home Mom." As well as a single Mom with no child support coming in & a Mom with a supportative hubby with a good paying job & who didn't mind pitching in & helping with the kids as well as housework.

About what would have offended you...well I'm not really sure how to put it...I just wanted to be sure if I had that you knew that I didn't mean it to sound that way. Thanks for taking the time & caring to do 2 replies, I really do Appreciate it.
BlessedLady

minn306
08-14-05, 08:23 PM
Ummmmmm, household what? you must be speaking a different language I don't understand those words ;)
me neither...........completely foreign!!!



It is not like I do not like cleaning the house(honest I do) I just have a serious problem with getting motivated to do it. Or even remembering that I need to do it. Oh that sounds awful but it is true

meadd823
08-14-05, 11:49 PM
Do you forget that things like household chores exist??

originally posted by Imnaple
As often as possible

Right on, that is me!!!!! I don't rememebr that something needs doing until it bugs me or I need some thing to be clean like clothes!!!!!!

whiteraven
08-15-05, 01:53 AM
Housework is an exact science.
I'm into art.

(grin)
I know what you mean tho. I am consistantly inconsistant. I keep everything spiffy for a while. Then I get annoyed that I am the only one doing it and quit. Then I get annoyed because the place is a mess!
I also miss glaringly obvious things, like getting the kitchen all clean and shiny, but totally missing the grubby appliance fronts, or exposion in the microwave, or coffee splatter across the floor. It is invisible to me until I see it fhrough someone else's eyes.

Scatterbrainz
08-24-05, 03:16 PM
As often as possible. :D

same with me!!! I live in a semi independent living situation, but I do have a support worker from a mental health clinic that stops by and she's always reminding me that I have chores to do. It never completely gets done though. Just when I need stuff as well. And things tend to be inconsistent in my house too. Everything goes in a closet or in drawers and under beds and cabinets at the last minute just to make the outside look pretty since I can't put up with cleaning and I dont really completely clean or not at all since I always get distracted. And when she's not there on the wkds,. then it looks like an atomic bomb went off everywhere and there she is again seeing my atomic bomb. :D<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

andiemedic
08-24-05, 03:30 PM
Yes, I do forget that household chores exist...

Housework is an exact science.
I'm into art.

(grin)
I know what you mean tho. I am consistantly inconsistant. I keep everything spiffy for a while. Then I get annoyed that I am the only one doing it and quit. Then I get annoyed because the place is a mess!
I also miss glaringly obvious things, like getting the kitchen all clean and shiny, but totally missing the grubby appliance fronts, or exposion in the microwave, or coffee splatter across the floor. It is invisible to me until I see it fhrough someone else's eyes.I think whiteraven put it best, I like that I'm going to use it, if you don't mind...

Did_I_Say_that
08-24-05, 04:03 PM
Before I was diagnosed with ADD, I used the excuse that since my Mother did all of the housework that it wasn't programmed into me. I am terrible about cleaning up. I know its there to be done and I say I will do it later, so I end up doing things at midnight because of procrastination,(story of my life). I get home from work and I only want to do my projects or what interests me. needless to say this does not make for a happy homelife.

Dixie_Amazon
09-29-05, 07:32 AM
Ummm, I can't get to the dryer, I must be behind on laundry.

BlessedLady
09-29-05, 10:52 PM
It's been a while since I visited this thread. But today, I'm viewing it with a perspective that I've never had before. I wonder if it's not so much a matter of forgetting as it is just being so overwhelmed when things "pile up over night" that as the old saying goes we "can't see the forest for the trees" or maybe it's more a combination of both.

For example, I moved last week, it's the first time I've moved in 20 yrs, first time I've moved in app. 33 yrs that it's been just me & the first time in my life that I moved & actually have a Real Hope that being able to keep my place clean, neat & tidy or somewhat tidy is something that can become a reality, because unlike the other times I know I have ADD & I'm on the proper meds for it. This place is way smaller than the old 1, Thank God,I went from a 5 bedrm, 2 bath, kitchen, livingrm, dinningrm & den to a livingrm, dinningrm, kitchen, 1 bedrm & 1 bath. I've had to just stuff alot of thing I have to go through from my old place into boxes & trashbags & they are all in the livingrm & dinningrm. But, in the kitchen, bedrm & bath I've only put what I've unpacked that belongs in there. And the difference is that I can very easily see & take care of what needs to be done in the back, but I've noticed when I go in the front part of my apt that I just walk around from 1 box to another not really sure where to begin.

Does any of this make any sence to anyone ? If it doesn't just chalk it up to sleep depreviation & erase it from your memory.
BlessedLady

meadd823
10-04-05, 10:41 PM
Ummm, I can't get to the dryer, I must be behind on laundry.


That is how I usually know it is time ...the other tattle tail sign is having to go through the dirtly clothes smelling for the cleanest of the dirty!!!!!!


coffee splatter across the floor.

I notice this when my feet stick to the floor!!!!!

mmcclure79
10-04-05, 11:10 PM
My wife has to write out a list of chores she wants done unless I try REALLY hard to remember and get it all done on my own. She gets so mad sometimes because she thinks I can see all the things that need to be done like she can. I can't though. I'm a chaotic organizer. My filing system is composed of piles here and piles there. She can't have a pile (of any size) anywhere and everything has to be in it's place. Definitely makes for some interesting days.

SassyVal
10-11-05, 02:23 AM
LMAO!!!:D
I usually don't remember something needs to get done until my husband has a conniption
about it... or I've run out of clean underwear... I've been known to go "commando" to
work because my laundry wasn't done... simply because I got distracted and
didn't hear the dryer buzz... or, I did and put it on the bed to fold and got
distracted by something else... so when I get ready to go to bed, there is a
mountain of laundry... but I'm too tired to fold it and put it away, so it goes
out onto the couch... which throws hubby into another conniption... :rolleyes:

SassyVal
10-11-05, 02:28 AM
My wife has to write out a list of chores she wants done unless I try REALLY hard to remember and get it all done on my own. She gets so mad sometimes because she thinks I can see all the things that need to be done like she can. I can't though. I'm a chaotic organizer. My filing system is composed of piles here and piles there. She can't have a pile (of any size) anywhere and everything has to be in it's place. Definitely makes for some interesting days.
OMG!!!
When I was in Staples last week, looking for hanging 3-ring binders, I saw this
thing called a "pile organizer"... basically is was a package of 3-ring binder
dividers that you would slip into your pile so you know what is in it without
having to go thru the entire pile to find something... I almost bought it... but
didn't...

I wonder how many other's of us just DON'T SEE the stuff that they see that
needs to be done? It just never even enters onto my radar screen... if it's not
a big disaster, then I don't see it. :rolleyes:

Dixie_Amazon
10-11-05, 06:18 AM
I am one. I started Effexor last week and now I am seeing messes as messes. I am actually cleaning things up. I hope this side-effect lasts!

SassyVal
10-11-05, 12:29 PM
hee hee...
cool! I just "left" effexor after being jacked up to 900mg... way to much according to my PNP so she switched me to lexapro...

Hey, I notice you are down in LA... how did you fair thru Katrina and Rita?

Dixie_Amazon
10-11-05, 12:41 PM
Baton Rouge did well compared to New Orleans. Most wind related damage. The most lasting problem is the traffic.:eek: We have a much larger population now. It is getting better as some areas that are livable reopen. Its gonna take a long time for the state to recover.

twalsh03
10-21-05, 12:54 PM
It's not that I forget; it's more the case in which I say "I'll do it later, I'm running late right now." Then, when "later" comes, I'm too tired. :-)

However, my dad is a classic case of "forgetting" that chores exist! Well, it's that and the fact that he grew up in the Cleaver household and still holds the beliefs that women should do all the housework. (though I feel as though he doesn't really believe that anymore, but sticks to it because a) mom and I still do all the work and b) it means he's off the hook and doesn't have to expend the energy to clean)

Mom fell off a ladder a month ago and crushed her ankle, so has been unable to pretty much do anything. So while it's just been a little bit of a hassle for me (I've had to take on all the laundry in the house, all the dishes, errands, etc. -- I've always done my own stuff, but have always refused to be my father's maid. I'm only doing it now because if I don't, and my mom can't, it won't get done!), my dad has gotten a severe wake up call!

He attempted to cook dinner once or twice, but gave up on that... and since I get out of work/home 4 hours later than he does, he has had to fend for himself in that one area. So while he really hasn't had to cook, but his wallet is taking quite the beating, from frequent use of take out and restaurants

it would be easier on him, had he not "forgotten" how to do household chores 30 years ago, lol.


on a sort of side note: I have SO much respect for those moms (and dads) who juggle work/kids/chores. It is SO tiring and until the past 2 years, I've never really had an understanding. I always helped out as a child, because I saw what my mom went through with my brothers and dad never lifting a helping hand... but 'helping' as a child doesn't really give you the knowledge of how truly exhausting it is!

I don't even have kids, but I can't imagine juggling something else right now! Between work and the commute and gym time and chores and classes, I barely have enough time to keep myself sane! So... to all those who juggle so much, I bow to you. :)

SassyVal
10-21-05, 01:12 PM
Yeah, It's hard to believe sometimes how much the dad's DON'T do, because so many of us girls were raised in the Cleaver house. I was raised that way; I didn't have to do anything... consequently, I didn't KNOW how to do anything when I got a home of my own (yeah, I know that sounds crazy) :rolleyes: . And then it was so overwhelming and my brain couldn't focus, my house was in total meltdown.

Also, part of my problem is... when I DO get started on a cleaning spree, I will easily be distracted... :eek: "Ok, the closet needs to be cleaned out... oh, cool! I forgot about these pictures!" so I sit and look at the pics... then some other crisis comes up and while I go take care of it, my mess from the closet is forgotten, totally... grrr... :)

I am sometimes AMAZED at my sister in law... her husband (my husband's older brother) doesn't do ANYTHING... not even take out the trash! :mad: Plus she works at home (childcare) AND has a part time job in the evenings. Example... we sold them a ride-around lawnmower, so it would be easier on her to mow their 1+ acre yard. Not long after we sold it to them, one of the belts broke and it sat for over 6 months because her husband wouldn't fix it, but kept complaining about the mess the yard was in. My husband finally bought the belts and went over and fixed it! grrr... :soapbox: I, on the other hand, have a great husband that is more than willing to do chores... partly because he is a neatnik and it drives him nuts to be in a messy house :p

Meadd
10-22-05, 12:26 AM
Do you forget that things like household chores exist??



Right on, that is me!!!!! I don't rememebr that something needs doing until it bugs me or I need some thing to be clean like clothes!!!!!!
OMG! I finally meet a thread thats me all the way! LOL
Dishes sometimes don't get done until they are smelly and clothes don't get laundered until I need underwear! LOL


Nice to meet you all! :)

Meadd823, I am sorry I did not mean to plagiarize your nic.:( I hope you don't mind (bright minds think alike?:p )

AlaskaLady
11-09-05, 05:47 AM
hee hee- i loved your question.... dishes are my latest problem...they get rinsed but i just cannot seem make myself stand there and wash the darn things- and its only me! so i'll wait till the sink's full and then put em in the dishwasher. that's a quicker job.
nita

stevo
11-09-05, 09:48 AM
When I do a chore, I always feel so good about myself. Being somewhat of a perfectionist, I ussually do a thorough job once I get going. "Damn that looks good." "Like they say, Cleanliness is next to godliness". I become mystified, however, when things need to be done, again. "We have to clean the house? There must be some mistake. I did that already. We have to do it again?"

Or, "I don't have any clean socks! How is that possible? I did the laundry. What happened to all the socks that I washed? Are they in the wrong drawer? Did they fall behind the dryer? Did they get mixed in with your socks? They must be here somewhere, because I distinctly remember doing the laundry, more than once I might add."

When they built the Brooklyn Bridge, did they all look at each other and say "O.K., now that that's done, we need to go back to the beginning and build the Brooklyn Bridge, again". No, they moved on to the next project. Why? Because they did that already. Isn't it obvious?

Slowpoke
11-11-05, 08:37 PM
I've had this problem as well...
Laundry: until I'm out of underwear, uh, I actually mean until I've used up the bathing suit bottoms back ups. I refuse to go the "side B" route!

Dishes: somehow I just don't even think about putting things INTO the dishwasher.. like it's too much work to do that one little thing. Then my boyfriend makes the point by humourously making the dishwasher "talk" "Feeed me! Put those dirrrty dishes in here!! I like it when you put dishes go inside me!" hahaha...

Vacuuming... whenever the cat hair and dustballs are more than 4 inches high in the corners...

What I find works a LOT better is not just to write out each step... because I get overwhelmed at allll the small little steps.

What works best for me is to think of the VERY NEXT piece of action to get the "chore" done... but nothing after that.
Or if you want to be more visual, write out all the steps.
cut up each step. (number them)
and then put up one on a board where you can see it.
Do it.
then take that down, and put the next step up.
do it.
etc etc

I realized that I often don't feel like doing things because they feel like "too much effort", as a result of my generalization thought process.
The task of washing that WHOLE sink of dishes doesn't encourage me...
but if I think of it like:
first, ONLY DO the scraping of food into the garbage. ... GO!
scrape scrape scrape scrape....
Easy scmeasy!

Next, ONLY DO the filling up the sink with soapy hot water.

Next, ONLY DO picking out the dishes to soak.

etc...
it makes it a LOT easier.

Make a grid chart and put a star up for each little bit you do.
Reward yourself for doing each little piece that isn't really a lot of fun.
So doing "do the dishes" is ONE HUUUUUGE stupid boring task...
but it can also be 20 stupidly easy tasks for which you can put 20 cute little happy face stamps on a grid.

Sound stupid? Well, it is, but whatever makes it easier right?
And besides, if seeing all those happy faces (or stars or kittens or whatever you like) makes you feel happy/fuzzy inside, then use it. You're ALLOWED to let yourself feel good about doing litte things.

Whatever it takes to get it done.
Better to get it done in a silly way (that makes you feel good about yourself) than to NOT do it and feel stupid later.
Be silly.
It's allowed.

Albino Fox
11-11-05, 10:39 PM
I usually avoid saying it because it makes me sound ignorant and irresponsible, but yes, after being wrapped up in all the major, significant responsibilities of life, I can find it difficult to remember that there are smaller tasks to do too. It's like I constantly have to shift my whole paradigm back and forth just to get myself to do both kinds of tasks that are thrown at me daily.

First, ONLY DO the scraping of food into the garbage. ...

Next, ONLY DO the filling up the sink with soapy hot water.

Next, ONLY DO picking out the dishes to soak.

etc...
it makes it a LOT easier. Good idea. The hardest part, then, may be remembering to do the next thing once the first thing's done. :o

meadd823
11-12-05, 02:24 AM
I am sometimes AMAZED at my sister in law... her husband (my husband's older brother) doesn't do ANYTHING... not even take out the trash!

I am amazed she puts up with it!!!!!! There are chores I will not do period. Mowing grass is one of them period!!!! I am allergic to grass; it makes me ill when the neighbors mow. When I lived in a house alone I paid some one to mow and do yard work. I would cut things like eating out to afford the yard work!!!!!

Men who don't help have no reason to live in my house. I have to work a job like a man in return I expect a man to pick up after himself, and clean like a woman!!!!! :mad:


I am glad you got the "good" man who helps live up to his own cleanliness expectations!!!!! ;)




which throws hubby into another conniption...

Hmmm anger can be productive when "channeled" properly. Next conniption fit over unfolded laundry would be productive if he could use all that energy to help fold laundry!!!!!! :D




I moved last week, it's the first time I've moved in 20 yrs,


I hate moving I am not sure what is worse the packing or the unpacking. I have always moved pretty regularly and every time I am amazed at the amount of stuff it takes to own "nothing". :rolleyes:



Next, ONLY DO the filling up the sink with soapy hot water.Next, ONLY DO picking out the dishes to soak.


This is the exact step that derails my entire dish washing project. I have to wash the dishes immediately because if I let them soak they will soak for days and days and days........:eyebrow:



When they built the Brooklyn Bridge, did they all look at each other and say "O.K., now that that's done, we need to go back to the beginning and build the Brooklyn Bridge, again". No, they moved on to the next project. Why? Because they did that already. Isn't it obvious?


I believe that is why I dis-like house work soooooo much the redundancy. :soapbox:

SurvivnIvan
11-12-05, 01:43 PM
Dusting is beyond me. Vaccuming I get, washing dishes, uh huh, washing clothes -- okay I've made it more of a ritual than a chore -- not that I do anything but the dishes and vaccuming with any great regularity. But I just can't figure out how to keep up with surface dirt. There. I've said it. My big secret is out.

Dixie_Amazon
11-12-05, 02:16 PM
I have kids and what helped me was a feather duster. They all want to use it. We will see how long that lasts. :p

Meadd
11-13-05, 04:33 AM
I've had this problem as well...

What I find works a LOT better is not just to write out each step... because I get overwhelmed at allll the small little steps.

What works best for me is to think of the VERY NEXT piece of action to get the "chore" done... but nothing after that.
Or if you want to be more visual, write out all the steps.
cut up each step. (number them)
and then put up one on a board where you can see it.
Do it.
then take that down, and put the next step up.
do it.
etc etc

I realized that I often don't feel like doing things because they feel like "too much effort", as a result of my generalization thought process.

Whatever it takes to get it done.
Better to get it done in a silly way (that makes you feel good about yourself) than to NOT do it and feel stupid later.
Be silly.
It's allowed.
It really makes a lot of sense. I too get overwhelmed if I think of the whole, rather than the parts it takes. I'll have to give your advice a try...:eyebrow: :)

bythesea
11-13-05, 05:15 AM
dishes are my latest problem...they get rinsed but i just cannot seem make myself stand there and wash the darn things- and its only me! so i'll wait till the sink's full and then put em in the dishwasher. that's a quicker job.
This is my problem too - it's just me and I rinse but don't wash. I don't have a dishwasher so eventually I have to wash them. Especially if it's been a busy week or two of school or I've been sick, it's the worst, I'll start to tun out of bowls or something and then have to wash them. This is bad, but I keep some paper plates and plastic spoons and forks on hand now for times when I know it's crazy. But then I feel guilty about being wasteful and polluting the earth. :o :(

Ummm, I can't get to the dryer, I must be behind on laundry.
Hehehe. I have to carry things to the laundry room across the way, but basically my hamper at times gets stacked up much taller than it's height, or will have an overflow from the hamper on the floor around.

It's just so bizare that there are these certain things, like chores, that we all find so difficult (or a "chore") to do. I know it's supposed to link to executive functions or etc. But for a long time I thought I was just bad at housework. Well I am, and I still am, but it's nice to know I have company. :)

~~bythesea

nuffsed
11-14-05, 02:15 AM
I'm a posting fiend tonight--most of the time I don't say anything. Must be the Bud light/Straterra cocktail!


How many of you out that have actually gone out and purchased "clean" things (underwear, sox, entire new outfits, etc.) because you couldn't find them/didn't do the laundry.

I think that this should be a poll.

I wonder how much money I have spent doing this over the years?

Since I've been medicated I'm a little bit better, but I still don't do as much as I should. People that maintain a clean house are like "aliens" from a foreign planet to me.

Cleaning is the light-speed, can't even begin to comprehend it.

meadd823
11-14-05, 05:57 AM
I know it's supposed to link to executive functions or etc.

Yea if executive functions = finding house work boring and redundant.

I am not bad at house work I can clean fine when I do decide it is necessary. I think compulsive neat freaks have a lower thresh hold to “necessary” when it comes to cleaning than I. Hey if I can walk from room to room without tripping over any thing but the dog, if the left-over food in the frig hasn’t evolved into a secondary life form my house is clean .

I think I would do better if I could locate my interest in chores. I keep loosing interest under all these piles of papers and laundry!!!!!!!


How many of you out that have actually gone out and purchased "clean" things (underwear, sox, entire new outfits, etc.) because you couldn't find them/didn't do the laundry.
I think that this should be a poll.


What a great idea, lets do it!!!!!

Nova
11-14-05, 08:17 AM
My apartment is neat, but never emmaculate. I do forget about chores, especially dusting and vacuuming, but I always do the dishes as soon as I use them.
And yes. I've gone out and bought new things before rather than wash some items because I couldn't find the time at the last moment to do so.
Nova

aneededchange
11-14-05, 03:12 PM
I would love to .....

But seeing as I am the ONLY person who cleans and has a severe phobia of people seeing a messie house .... I forget it as long as I can and act like a mad woman to make up for it as needed.

- Ane

Tracer
11-15-05, 10:40 PM
Housekeeping is the bane of my existance! I can't do it. I hate that I can't do it. I have two preschoolers and I know it's not good for them. My new doc asked if I'd ever had an IQ test. Yes, I told her, but had no idea whether it was good or bad. When I told her that it was 140, she said, "Well, JFK's was 143 and he was considered brilliant. You could join Mensa. Doesn't that make you feel better?" Me: "No, it doesn't. I don't believe you." Her: "Why?" Me: "If I'm that smart, I ought to be able to figure out how to keep my house clean! At least, if I was an idiot, I wouldn't care that I couldn't keep my house clean."

However, I have found a book that does help. She even talks about ADD and OCD in the beginning. Appropriately enough, it's called "The Procrastinator's Guide to Housekeeping". I can't remember the author's name and if I get up to find the book, I'll get sucked in and never come back. I ordered it from amazon.com, I think.

She tells you how to do the massive job of getting rid of the piles and clutter to begin with. If your house is not too bad, you use the Mt. Vernon method. If it's like mine, you use the Mt. Vesuvius method. She's funny, so it's easy to read. She breaks things down into small pieces so they're not so scary. There's a list for stuff that needs doing every day, then stuff gets divided into days of the week. ie, on Mondays I vacuum the girls' rooms, change their sheets and clean their bathroom. And that's all I "have" to do. I check that off and I'm done. I can handle that. On Tuesdays, I do kids' laundry. (Still have trouble getting it put away.) Wednesdays, my bed and bath. Thursday, grown up laundry. Fridays, family room and kitchen floors.

She tells you how to make your own organizer, but I couldn't picture it. I ordered hers. It takes awhile to set up, but once done, it's pretty much idiot proof. I will still go through periods where I slack off completely and have to start over with a BIG cleaning, but it's not as bad as it used to be. I get to see my sofa occasionally, which is where the clean clothes used to live. The cats are peeved, though. They have lost their cuddly place to sleep.

If any of you check it out, let me know what you think.

Jaycee
11-16-05, 12:37 AM
How many of you out that have actually gone out and purchased "clean" things (underwear, sox, entire new outfits, etc.) because you couldn't find them/didn't do the laundry.

.
I did it just yesterday...of course my daughter, who's also ADHD, has mysterious disappearing underware. When I finally get around to serious washing ( with 6 of us I wash at least 1 load per day then the rest at the weekend), Non of her undies show up. I even tell her to collect them and she can't find them either.

I don't mind the washing it's the folding that gets to me. My kids are at the age that their getting trained to do it.

I'm seriously bad about the dishes too. I don't mind loading the dishwasher, but then it's like the next load can't go in until we use all the clean ones. Washing by hand it NOT an option for me. I actually told my hubby no kids until I had a dishwasher....got one for Christmas 2 months later.;)

nuffsed
11-21-05, 10:57 AM
When I need to clean (which is like always). I have to pretend. Actually have to tell myself that somebody really important is coming and they are going to have a TV camera. Then I imagine my mess on a reality show. It works for me!

Dixie_Amazon
11-21-05, 03:35 PM
Is this the book? http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0800757262/103-5661137-2091007?v=glance&n=283155&v=glance

I have read some of Feltons other books, but I find her off putting. But that is just me,:rolleyes: . She might be just right for others.

Dixie_Amazon
11-21-05, 03:42 PM
Oh, and has anyone read Conquering Chronic Disorganizationz?
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0966797000/103-5661137-2091007?v=glance&n=283155&%5Fencoding=UTF8&me=ATVPDKIKX0DER&no=283155&st=books

Joyous56
11-21-05, 11:40 PM
Cleaning is hell for me. Today I decided to wash all the laundry...even the stuff that I had kept heaping in a pile on the basement floor because I didn't need it 'right away'. So then I realized that the basement needed cleaning, so I started that. There was lots of stuff that needed to be somewhere else in the house, so I carried that upstairs. There was nowhere to put it, because of all the dishes on the counter, so I had to wash the dishes. But I had to put the dishes from the drainer away first. Somewhere in there I realized I was hungry and better eat, but since there wasn't anything 'easy' I had cook some soup.

So I cooked the soup, and sat down to eat it in the living room, and realized that the dog had peed on the rug, so I had to clean that up. There were a few other stains, and I needed to use the steamer on the carpet. But first I had to vacuum. Then when I went to use the steamer, the brush didn't go around, so I took it apart, and realized that a belt was broken. Putting it back together seemed like a waste of time, so I left the tools and the parts in a neat pile on the table.

Then I remembered the laundry, and found that I had to rewash a basket full because I had put it in the basket wet about two weeks ago, and it was dried all wrinkly and smelled like mildew. Also there was a pile of clean, folded laundry on top of the dryer because I'd left it there for about three months, and there was dryer lint all over it because the dryer vent hose had a hole in it which I had taped with duct tape, but the lint came through anyways. Then there was the clean, dried load which I had taken out of the dryer at some point but never folded, because I had had an urgent need to dry something at some point and didn't have time to fold the load that was in there.

So, I've got about 4 loads on the floor, including last christmas' table runner, tablecloth and napkins, beach towels from last summer, and a bunch of stuff that I needed to wash before taking to the VOA. Plus...the load that needed to be rewashed to get rid of the mildew smell, the load that needed re-wetting and drying to take the wrinkles out, and the load that had lint all over it.

So...it's the end of the day, I've got junk all over the kitchen that needs to go somewhere else, a sink full of dirty dishes and cold soapy water, a livingroom with some gross looking stains, a broken steamer in the dining room, plus a pile of tools and parts on the table.

THIS is why I hate doing laundry.

Tracer
11-22-05, 10:39 AM
Dennise ~ Yes, the first book is the one I meant. I think everyone has to find the one that 'clicks' for them. It was the first thing that I read that actually made any kind of sense for me. I haven't read the other one. How is it?

Joyous, I'm right there with you. I was sitting here over the weekend thinking of everything that had to be done in order to get the Christmas decorations out. One of the things was to clean up the dining room. Lo and behold, there is still stuff in there from last Christmas.

Dixie_Amazon
11-22-05, 11:53 AM
I haven't read the other one. How is it?Haven't read it. I am considering buy it. Has anyone else read it?

Geneviève
03-21-06, 11:17 PM
I know what you mean... I scater my things around the house without picking up after myself... I often say I need a 2 bedroom appartement all to myself so my "stuff" could be put away where I want it to be so I can find it the next time.:rolleyes:

ADDitives
04-02-06, 01:23 AM
yesterday i found the coffee plunger, sitting behind a whole lot of other stuff. It had been left with half a cup of coffee in it and had 3 types of mould growing - the normal green fluffy kind, blue fluff, and pink jelly looking stuff aswell, which my mum said was also mould.

i completely forgot about it, and also it was behind a whole lot of other stuff like tge juicer, kettle, a pile of tea towels... and things. It had been left there for at least 3 - 4 weeks! maybe 5 weeks..... ergh

if it was my own house, i might just throw out the plunger (it was a small one, i think it only makes 1 cup of coffee) and just buy anohter? i'd rather spend $20 on a new one then clean out the mould from the other one, and the little filter metal part is covered in mould too. i dont know what to do with it.

i can imagine that when i'm living in my own house i will forget more things like that! although, when mum went away for 3 weeks last year, the hosue was COMPLETELY clean, i swept and vacuumed the floor, cleaned the kitchen and the sink, benches, bathroom, windows.... every week! when you're living by yourself
1) there is less mess than with 2 people,. and i was happier to clean stuff because it was only my mess. there was also less 'stuff' out in the kitchen.
2) there's not much else to do, and i stayed up later at night, so i had time to do stuff, and a quiet house, and no external pressure to make the hyouse look clean and be clean.. ijust did it

but i'm sure iw ill forget lots of stuff.

tristan k
04-02-06, 08:17 AM
that reminds me, I have a pile of laundry that needs to be started...
UH-OH! I think I forgot to put a load from yesterday in the dryer.:eek: Now I've got to wash them again:faint: and then REMEMBER to put them in the dryer--AGAIN! :eyebrow: :eyebrow: :eyebrow:

meadd823
04-02-06, 04:53 PM
i'd rather spend $20 on a new one then clean out the mould from the other one, and the little filter metal part is covered in mould too. i dont know what to do with it.


Hmmm throw it away! That is what I would do. Once some thing grows mold I can not eat or drink out of it. I don't care if it 14K gold if there is some thing gross growing in it, it becomes trash!!! I can't touch old food or beverages...the smell gags me can not deal with the old food smell.....I gave up trying years ago.

I told Gary before we ever decided to live together my "rule" about mold in dishes...if it has mold in it is garbage period...he used to have some re-sealable containers....think I will get him some next Christmas as a gift! For left overs I normally use old butter tubs myself or zip lock baggies because to me those were trash to begin with so I don't feel as bad chunking them out when new life forms develop inside!


I over head Gary complaining to his sister about my container thrashing once. His sister announced she is the exact same way I am-lol Now he is convinced womanhood is a conspiracy ;)

BlessedLady
04-02-06, 09:46 PM
i can imagine that when i'm living in my own house i will forget more things like that! although, when mum went away for 3 weeks last year, the hosue was COMPLETELY clean, i swept and vacuumed the floor, cleaned the kitchen and the sink, benches, bathroom, windows.... every week! when you're living by yourself
1) there is less mess than with 2 people,. and i was happier to clean stuff because it was only my mess. there was also less 'stuff' out in the kitchen.
2) there's not much else to do, and i stayed up later at night, so i had time to do stuff, and a quiet house, and no external pressure to make the hyouse look clean and be clean.. ijust did it

but i'm sure iw ill forget lots of stuff.
Thank You ADDitives ! I've been wanting to share this with everyone for the past 7 months or so but I didn't want it to sound like I was bragging or anything. And you have kinda "open the door" for me.

I wasn't dx until I was 45, I'm 52 now. I raised 6 kids-3 with ADD, 3 without. Took care of my husband for 13 yrs when he was disabled & needed medical care at home. Our home was a 5 bedrm, 2 bath, livingrim, dinningrm, & Den. Like most other women with undx ADD the terror that I felt when the doorbell rang is undescribable as is the shame & humilation of a house any health inspector would condemn in a heart beat.

Less than 2 yrs after I was dx, hubby had been able to return to work, and our 2 youngest were the only ones still at home & they were both high school students. I had an acicdent & the drs told me that I couldn't return to work. I fell frequently, dropped 95% of the things I picked up....you have no idea how much more of a mess that made everything. A plate, a pencil, a bottle of water, a pill....I mean everything left my hands & bending over or getting up from the floor was also very difficult. Of course by this time even though I had been on meds for almost 2 yrs & had done alot of reading the house was such a disaster that if a tornado had hit it, it would have looked better...honest.

First when everyone left they left almost all of their stuff at home. You know those words "Mom, can I leave this here for a little while." Except a little while turned into up until I moved out in Sept 2005. Hubby had left all of his stuff there too when he walked out several yrs back.

Fast-forward to now. I have a 1 bedrm apt. Livingrm, dinningrm, kitchen, bath, bedrm, small hall....and 1 closet....a very small closet.I also have a dog. But.....................................
My home is nice, neat & clean:) ! For the first time in my life I don't feel the terror I've always known when the doorbell rings. I don't have to stand behind the front door & just open it a crack to talk through it I can open it & invite:D whomever it is in. There is no need for me to apologize for the way things look because even though it takes me almost all day( because of my physical condition) to do things that would normally take someone maybe 1 1/2 to 2 hrs max to do, I do manage to get them done. There are times that I still can't believe this is really "my home." I've even had a few friends say "are you sure you live here?" I've heard my children say things like "you've done a good job Mom" & "I'm Proud of you, Mom." My best girlfriend, who was also undx ADD up until a few weeks ago said that after seeing how good I keep my place that she knows if I can do it, with my physical limitations, that it has given her hope & confidence that she can also do it. She has been staying with me for the past month & just moved into her own place.

I remember feeling & believeing that I would never be able to keep my home like I had wanted to for as far back as I can remember. I remember thinking that "dreaming" of having things nice, neat & clean. Being able to have people over & have them stay at my place if they needed a place to stay.....that would never be more than a dream. But, I can tell you from first hand experience that "dreams really do come true."
BlessedLady

ADHDSupport
04-03-06, 10:43 AM
I usually invite my inlaws or my mom to dinner or over the house once per week so I have to clean thoroughly, otherwise I never would. The rest of the days I just do the best I can. I wont remember about chores or housework until I see it. Like I wont sit here and think about the chores i should be doing, but when I walk by the sink, I notice the dishes then do it (especailly if it is close to my DH comign home...hehe)

-A

runinl8
04-03-06, 02:22 PM
Do you ever forget that things like household chores exist?

I'll give an example: Now my bf and I cook dinner every second day since a few months back, but before that it often came like news to me that there was something called dinner and that someone would need to prepare it.
I don't really have a problem with this - I think it kinda stems from childhood. My parents were not house cleaners and instead of becoming like them I went in the total other direction. I can't stand it if things get out of place or don't get done.

PINKY
04-17-06, 09:08 PM
I got a great reality check after we sponge painted our bedroom. My husband and I were standing in the doorway admiring it and I said "isn't it beautiful?" He said "I'm so focused on all the clutter that I don't even see why we bothered" :eek: I was amazed!

He REALLY sees the clutter, I SOOOOO don't!

The illusion of time works against me. I have every desire and intent to straighten up, but sitting here typing this instead of actually DOING it shows me that my intent may be an illusion too.

Scattered
04-17-06, 09:35 PM
I wish I could forget the concept of housework -- I don't forget so much as just put it off (although I have forgotten any number of specific chores or meals I was suppose to be handling). Generally I remember when I see "that look" my husband's face or if I'm lucky and hour or so before he gets home -- then I really hustle!

Scattered

meadd823
04-22-06, 03:16 AM
I have every desire and intent to straighten up, but sitting here typing this instead of actually DOING it shows me that my intent may be an illusion too.



I absolutely resemble this remark……now I simply admit I really don’t like cleaning….clutter control I have a rather split personality approach..

I am either in the mood to keep every little thing then when the clutter reaches “X” level I swing the other direction and want to throw it all away so I no longer have to look at it or deal with what to do with this pile of stuff!