I have been dealing with ADD for 23 years. It doesnt seem to get any easier no matter what i do. I have been on ritalin since kindergarden. I've never once had a single friend in my life not even now. I have 2 children and a fiance. I've never had a job because of very low comprehention. No highschool diploma and no GED. No math skills what so ever. Its like i cant learn a thing. What does someone like me do?? :confused: Where do i turn?? :confused: Why me?? :confused: I started ADDERALL XR a couple days ago. I am really starting to feel different. I am noticing things about my fiance that i didnt notice before. And it bothers me. We dont seem to be getting along and i cant figuere it out.

What do you do?

Wait.

Something similar happened w/ me. When I started on Adderall many of the relatonships in my life started looking different. Don't make too many decisions about these relationships too fast though. In almost every case the relationship wound up better with the Adderall. (Well, with Adderall and some hard work, which wouldn't have been possible w/out the drug.)

Hang in. Change can be very scary while it's happening but usually you're glad it happened when it's over.

#1-Breathe.

#2-Talk to your fiance. Tell her what's going on, how you're changing, etc. See what's going on with her, how she feels, etc.

#3-Get some counselling? You've spent your entire life dealing with issues that are probably related to this alone. It's not working anymore. You've hit your breaking point. It might be time to find some help

#4-Examine your behaviours that are causing you harm, either alone or with good help. Find strategies to help you get better. This takes time and isn't easy, but it's worth it.

#5-With newfound strategies, apply yourself towards getting that highschool degree so you can get some selfesteem out of it. Then, when/if you're ready and able, consider more school.

#6-Remind yourself that you don't actually suck, and that you're a valuable human being. If you don't believe in yourself, who will? Write it down if you have to.

I dunno, it's more or less what I'd do...or try to do. One thing at a time. Make a list, cross things off, slowly. Try to examine your situation from a bird's eye perspective.

Uh Oh,If you read my thread in the Adderal forum you will see Ive been going through the same thing the past month.I too have had the "stupid bag" removed from my head.I got some great advice from my peers here.Dont be hasty.Talk,communicate.Tell him whats bothering you and how you feel.I am married and have three children though so I was pretty upset and confused.Every situation is diffrent and I dont know details so I cant give you much advice in this area especially since Im still working on mine.Go to Adderal forum and read the responses I got from my fellow A.D.Ders.

That sounds like a good idea. A sit down chat with him. Let him know the hard times i am going through right now.. The changes we will have to face together..

What about making friends? How does someone make a friend?? Im not an outspoken person and i usually keep to myself. But i wish i had someone to call sometime or go to the movies. A girls nite out. I hear that alot around me. I just feel secluded and sometimes alone, like no one in the world likes me. I am very nice dont get me wrong I just wish i had a friend to talk to and HANG out with. ANY SUGGESTIONS WELCOME

Ooops I forgot, I will be your friend! :p At least now you have one friend. I am sorry that your feeling so confused right now. I do not have ADD but my hubby has ADHD and he is on Adderall. I have been through a lot with him and were still dealing every singel day. We can not give up. See the word WE, that is sooooooooooooooo important with you and your fiance. It's just not you and it's just not your fiance, you two need to do this together. I think it would be great to go out and get some help. Have your fiance go with you, that way your fiance will be part of this and you two can work together. It's just a suggestion. That is what my hubby and I had to do. :) If you ever need to chit chat, just send me a note. I'm here and I will be your friend.


Take care,
Jenn

PS just take little baby steps. You don't have to cover everything in one day.

Is there anything you like to do? Any hobbies you enjoy? Do you have any neighbors around? Or how about taking the kids to the park. All of these suggestions there are people around. All you have to do is say hi and take it from there. Maybe you don't have friends because you haven't tried or that your scared or something. Everytime you see someone maybe you should say hi, so that way you open up a little. It's just a suggestion. Your doing fine by typing to us, so use it in the real world. Good Luck!!!

Making friends can be hard.I understand.I got some advice from my hippie dad one time because he was sickened by my paralizing fear of even having to make eye contact with others.We were sitting outside of a gas station and he was trying to get me to go in and buy my own snickers.To me that scared the beetlegeuse outta' me!Crazy hu?He looked at me and said.Brandi,this is your world.You live in it.Thats your corner store.They are in there working for you.You have just as much right to go buy that snickers than anyone else!!Of course I didnt budge till he said "okay,picture it like this.This is your world and your just letting everyone else share it with you."A light bulb went on for some reason.I still go through the same thing now just not so bad.I get nervous,I studder,I sweat.But know I am learning that I have to.How else am I gonna get my SNICKERS!!!!!!LOL!

OoopsIForgot I can be your friend also, if you'd like. I'm 23 and also have ADD. You can e-mail me or send me a pm or IM any time you need to talk.

Hey, I just looked at your profile, and our birthdays are only a
few days apart...the big 24 is coming up...so exciting...I can hardly contain myself (not really...but what the hey)

Have a great day!!! and Keep Smilin' :D

Wow, this is great. For as long as i can remember all i wished for is a friend. Now i have lots!!!! Its a dream come true!!!! My very own pen pails!!!! Thanx

Join the Military, you would be surprised how much you can learn, & they take care of you & your family.

T-Bass

and then kill you!Im being sarcastic

Wow, this is great. For as long as i can remember all i wished for is a friend. Now i have lots!!!! Its a dream come true!!!! My very own pen pails!!!! ThanxYou never know, do you? I've always been surprised at what I can do. Things I never thought I could do in a million years. But I still hear those voices telling me there are certain things I'll never have, and the weird thing is that I believe them!! ...no matter how much I might accomplish. So I know how it can be.

Don't forget to count your blessings. You're two children and one fiance ahead of me. I already feel the Christmas season coming at me like a freight train. That time of year can be SO hard when you're all alone. I envy you having a family to care for... and to care for you.

Terry

I've never once had a single friend in my life not even now.I have 2 children and a fiance..

Woooo here, how did you come by a fiance??? Apparently you do meet people and get close enough to them to want to marry them. Getting a friend is kind of the same but different in that friendship doesn't include you know, physical contact, but you meet and get to know people in much the same way you did your boy friend.

Places to look are in areas of interest, you have a son and daughter you love, child activities are good ways to meet other people with children in same age range. If you have spiritual beliefs the are places of gathering there, and possible interest in that taking a water painting class at comunity recreation center could expose you to people that may be nice to get to know.

I would use a similar approach to them you did here. Instead of relating by way of ADD/ADHD begin by relating to the current activity in which you are both enguaged .This site is a great way to get your feet wet in the socilization department!!!!


Your intro here was:
I have been dealing with ADD for 23 years. It doesnt seem to get any easier no matter what i do.

If you come in contact with another parent while at the park with your kids... your "point of reference is" children/parks. You can open with "I am glad the kids are buring up all that energy here, as opposed to my livingroom."

Some people will be friendly although there will be those who aren't this is the tricky part ......don't take distances/unresponsiveness/rudness presonally their response to you is a reflection of who they are ...not a reflection of who you are ...they may be a nervious as you are...I am an extrovert, seen as out going yet when meeting new people I get nervious....I believe every one does to a certian extent.




I've never had a job because of very low comprehention. No highschool diploma and no GED. No math skills what so ever.


Have you ever been tested for learning disabilities, ADD increases the chance of you having problems with a learning disability. I have dyslexia as well as ADHD.



Its like i cant learn a thing


I get mixed up easliy and could have punched the wrong bottons but your public profile says you are buying a new home. You have already learned some thing I wish I could.....how to be able to buy a house without having to work. I have always worked. Although obtaining skills for the job market is a good idea..... don't get me wrong.... but working is definantly over rated.....if I could survive without having to I would NOT work!!!!!

Please do NOT think you haven't accomplished any thing in your life, as you have. It may not be every ones idea of accomplishment but hey being able to be a stay at home mom is a dream many working women greatly desire and you have accomplished that...see it as an accomplishment instead of a failure. It is all in your prespective!!! Change your prespective change your world!!!!!! ;)

I dont want to sound wierd to anyone but i met Paul (fiance) as a blind date 5 years ago. I was abused and molested for 15 months by someone close to me, and all of my feelings and remorse for anything were torn from my body. I saw a therapyst for that but i never really got over it. I carry that with me where ever i go, what ever i do, i am insecure about alot of things.. I dont know if i was supposed to mention that here if im not i am sorry.. How do you open your self to anyone anywhere if im scared of everyone around me? And yes i do have learning dissabilitys and selective hearing.. The house i have here, we live with my mom and step dad.. After writing this i feel so messed up about things.. its like i cant think.. or focus, even now i am feeling like i am in a big blurr.. I dont know what i am trying to say so if any one wants to ad to this feel free.. ok here is a question how do you know if your suicidal? depressed?? what are the symptoms and what to do....?? I have never really opened my self up like that before but i feel that now i have many friends that care...

Ok, I know i should have not wrote that and i am sorry im on new meds and i am not thinking to straight... Everything is just not comeing out the way it should at this point and time... But really i am ok :o

What you wrote was perfectly fine, eventhough there are some things that are not allowed and listed in the guidelines sections. The forum moderator will usually contact you with a reminder and correct your post.

So sorry you are experiencing these symptoms. I think most people on the forums have had this same experience. I know I did when I started on Lexapro. That stuff is fast acting. I noticed it working in less than a week.

If you are comfortable here, please post often. There are a lot of knowlegable people that read and post to these forums. But above all, find a doctor you can trust and that listens to you. This is most important for your well being. :) If you have urges to physically harm yourself (or others), please see a doctor immediately. Some people have experienced these symptoms from taking stimulants.

Keep us posted.

I didnt know that medicine can make you feel so confused i thought it was supposed to help you in that matter.... Thanx for posting reply tim... :)

So how was everyones weekend?? Mine was boring with house work and laundry.. :eek: Did anyone do anything Kewl? I am going to the state fair next weekend i cant wait!!!:) Never been to one before, all i can think about is what i am gonna do first...:rolleyes: Some one told me that there were animals and rides there... I cant wait:D