Hello People!

Ok the friend I'm living with thinks I DON'T have ADHD!!!....after 6 doctors have diagnosed me over a lifetime with it along with co-existing conditions, my mother KNOWS I've got it, I KNOW I've got it, you guys on here KNOW/THINK I have it....why?? because I'm a messy person and ADD people are clean (meaning housework etc)......this angers me to no end as I feel she's trivialising what I go through on a daily basis and what I've been through on a daily basis for the past 25 years.

Now I've read many posts from people with ADD/ADHD about messy houses, messy work etc etc and I want your imput so I can copy this thread off the net and show my friend that she is dead WRONG about me NOT having ADHD!!!!

Not to mention my family would laugh at her!!

Thanks
Selena:eyebrow: :mad: :rolleyes:

OMG -- your friend thinks people with ADD are neat?!?!?! Where on earth did she get that idea??? :eyebrow: I could send you pictures of my house if I could find my camera. :D I've been messy for as long as I can remember. My mother used to leave me messages from the "laundry fairy" saying that if I didn't stop leaving my clothes laying on the floor she wouldn't be doing my laundry anymore. :(

The only time in my life that my house has stayed clean on a regular basis was when I followed a very structured plan. (Sidetracked Home Executives' (SHE) cardfile system.) I managed to stick to it for about 4 months over 10 years ago. I have dreams of getting back on track again someday. Now that I'm on meds, just maybe I will. :)

ADD is all over the spectrum.

Some ADDers are super neat. It is their coping mechanism. They put everything EXACTLY in the same place every time. And woe betide anyone who moves anything.

Others have to focus on just what they are doing to get anything done at all. Me for instance. I leave a trail of destruction in my wake that has to be seen to be believed. But if I stopped to put things away, before you know it I'd be onto another project. And another and another and another....

I have two choices. I can be tidy or I can accomplish things. Not both.

I am really curious where your friend got the idea that people with ADD are neat. Some people with ADD can be very neat but a major issue for many women with ADD is house work. Have her read the books ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life and Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD and she should get a better understanding of the relationship between ADD and being messy.

so ADD people are neat, or messy
talkative, or untalkative
hyperactive, or hypoactive
shy, or outgoing...
they are like anything and everything
RARARRRJKAGSKA!!!!!! ugh. stupid work WHY WHY WHY

so_impatient: huh? I'm confused.

Crazygirl79:

I can also send you pics of my house and car, which my mother has declared war zones :) . I can literally clean a room or my car and they will look like a tornado has hit in one day flat.

But, really who cares what your roommate thinks, as long as you know the truth. And your family sounds supportive. It used to make me so mad when people who had no idea what they were talking about would say that ADD wasn't real, and I finally realized that they were gonna think what they were gonna think, and the only thing I could do about it, was change how I reacted to the situation.

Take care.

My bedroom is super neat, I have major OCD going on in there plus my ADD

My kitchen...well I guess it's tidy...I just do what I need to do to clean it then leave it...i don't like to cook cause I hate cleaning the mess up

My bathroom ... it comes and goes...depending on how i'm feeling from one week to the next....

My living room...it's a mess....always will be...i find comfort knowing i can just zone out there...I wouldn't say a super mess...cause all in all i'm one of the "neat" ADD'rs...whatever it takes all types to make up the ADHD world...

Now my car....You can totally tell I'm all about ADD there...wow, I can't keep it clean for more than 20min...if that...and I"ll really clean it out...it's lovely...but i know where every kid toy is and ever piece of change dropped. :)

I think having OCD and ADD has worked out to help me keep things tidy..but that is just me! :D

Sometimes when friends say you don't have a problem is an attempt at positive support.
Like, no way, your ok with me. Does this person mean well?

Beej

I have one close friend we have known each other 27 years.
He knows I'm a slob,unorganized and procrastinator and that I'm absentminded.

Whenever I leave his house he always asks if i forgot anything. If I leave his car he waits a few minutes because I always forget my keys.

I've tried to explain to him that A.D.D is indeed a real disorder and that these are some of the hallmarks of it. To no avail.

I myself didn't believe it despite having been diagnosed with it 3 times. First time 15 long years ago.

A lot of the "symptoms" of A.D.D. are normal behaviors carried to the extreme. Consequently most people including people who have like myself have a hard time believing it is "real".

Acceptance by those who know you is important and somewhat reasurring but the most important person that has to believe it is yourself.

And the funniest reason of all that some people you know would say they DON'T think you have ADD is that this would mean they may need to admit that they ALSO have it based on the evidence you are presenting for your case of having ADD.

Think about it. How much time do ADD'ers spend trying to mask the fact that they have ADD. What if your friend who doesn't think you have ADD is VERY good at masking their symptoms. If they acknowledge that you have ADD based on your symptoms they would also have to acknowledge that they may have ADD.

Since it is SO human nature to live in denial...it is more likely that your friend isn't being nice, they aren't denying the fact that ADD exists. They are validating their state of denial about possibly having it. ADD people are attracted to ADD people......do the math. I bet you'll find out most of the time that this is the answer.

I mean, how else would your friend know you so well unless they saw the same things within? Think about it.

I think BEEJ is right.Thats the first thing that popped into my head after reading your post.My hubby did the same thing(for a while).LOL!

I hope your friend knows how to swim because it sounds like she is in the deep end of the "river of denial". By the way, I know she is your roommate but exactly what or who does she think she is?

A number of months ago 60 minutes did a story on Adult ADD. Steve Croft, I believe was the reporter. He told the dr that he was interviewing that he had taken the "Adult ADD Test" & according to it & the symptoms he had ADD...he wasn't saying it as a put down to those that do, he was trying to ask what really defines it....can you simpley take this test & find out. The dr he was interviewing put it the best way I've heard it put. He said it is to the extent & degree that it effects your daily life & your relationships ie the extent to which it is most problematic in your life & how long it has been that way.
Personally, I know more people that I care to that have the same attitude as your roommate. For whatever reason(s) it appears that she doesn't what to be educated on Adult ADD....just be prepared for her lack of attitude change.
BlessedLady

I think she means well but she obviously doesn't know a lot about ADD/ADHD and she only says this sh*t when she's drunk....

Thanks for the replies

If she says it only when she's drunk, she's just teasing you. Probably. Which is very annoying.

You could try agreeing with her by saying something like, "Yeah, you're right. I don't have ADD. ADD is just a word for a collection of symptoms. I just happen to have the symptoms that are lumped together to describe ADD."

Your friend's acceptance isn't necessary to make the diagnosis "real." Unless they either have a license to practice in the mental health field and a list of references that disproves the diagnosis, then...... well you can finish that any way you want.

I have one close friend we have known each other 27 years.
He knows I'm a slob,unorganized and procrastinator and that I'm absentminded.

Whenever I leave his house he always asks if i forgot anything. If I leave his car he waits a few minutes because I always forget my keys.

I've tried to explain to him that A.D.D is indeed a real disorder and that these are some of the hallmarks of it. To no avail.

I myself didn't believe it despite having been diagnosed with it 3 times. First time 15 long years ago.

A lot of the "symptoms" of A.D.D. are normal behaviors carried to the extreme. Consequently most people including people who have like myself have a hard time believing it is "real".

Acceptance by those who know you is important and somewhat reasurring but the most important person that has to believe it is yourself.Yep, I have to go with Mike on this one. We have to believe it and trust ourselves, because we're not always going to be able to convince those around us. I was dx at 3 years of age and then again by two other doctors during my childhood. My parent's lived through my terrible hyperactive years. I've jumped through the proper hoops to be dx as an Adult with AD/HD as well, but they still don't believe it with any consistency. But you know what I was a teacher and a counselor, even took continuing education credits on AD/HD but didn't see it in myself for years, because I had some misconceptions and preconceived ideas about what AD/HD really was. It's important to have some people in your life who will validate that this is real for you and acknowledge your struggle (even if it's your counselor), but if you've given those close to you the information and they choose not to believe, it's best to let it go while being sure to give yourself that acknowledgment. Doesn't feel good though, I know. Hang in there!

Scattered

I have suspected my friend of possibly having ADD/ADHD as her younger daughter is highly suspected of having it...who knows??!!.....lol

I have suspected my friend of possibly having ADD/ADHD as her younger daughter is highly suspected of having it...who knows??!!.....lol
Well, that could explain her lack of inhibition to speak what's on her mind (especially before she actually gathered the correct facts!:p ). LOL!

Scattered

LOL at Scattered...lol