Hey Everyone,
I know that there are people here who don't have ADD, but know someone with it. I'm one who has ADD. I wanted to ask them (or even an ADD-er on meds that have helped), what's it like to not have ADD?
I tried asking my mom, but she just told me that they were going to fix my problem and that I have to have a part in this, which was WAY off topic with what I was asking. She doesn't get my point.
But what's it like to be able to focus, like how do you concentrate and not get distracted by a hot person passing by? How do you manage to get yourself up to work on a project? I'm sure other ADD-ers would like to know too.

Also Mods, I'm not sure if this is in the right section. If it's not, could you please move it? Thanks.

Paws

I don't think there's any 'splainin that. Like the old 'trying to describe the color blue to a blind person' analogy.

Paws13, I like your question.

As a adult who was dx'd later in life (age 45) I will tell you that meds do not completely cure all of my symptoms.

Yet, with that said, I will tell you that while I am on meds, I experience a greater sense of well being and peace. I am able to focus more, complete tasks (within limits). Overall, I experience less overwhelming and conflicting emotions. I feel more stable and am better able to cope with distractions.

However, for me, medication needed to be suplimented with learning some new life skills. Which means I needed to develop a better way of going about my day and setting up a plan of action.

I hope that this helps or at least gives you some insight.

I tried asking my mom, but she just told me that they were going to fix my problem and that I have to have a part in this, which was WAY off topic with what I was asking. She doesn't get my point.
But what's it like to be able to focus, like how do you concentrate and not get distracted by a hot person passing by? How do you manage to get yourself up to work on a project? I'm sure other ADD-ers would like to know too.
Welcome to the forums. It's nice to see the younger crowd finding their way to this site. You will find a lot of material here. Some can be factual, but a lot is based on opinions. If you are going to see a psychiatrist, please follow their medical advice. The internet can be an extremely valuable resource, but it can also create more problems.

Please read the thread : http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20274
Can you relate to this?

Being able to concentrate is something that is learned for those with ADHD. Then there is the extreme concentration, called "hyper-focusing, that a lot of ADHDers can perform. If you and your parents choose to investigate the ADHD medications, please follow your doctor's orders. Don't think of them as the "fix it all" pill. You will also need to work to focus. They are used to slow your thoughts down. When the correct medication and dose is found, you should feel normal and like your not even taking the medication. I hope this last sentence made sense. :rolleyes:

I was not diagnosed until last year at 33 years old. I decided to try the medication, Adderall XR. It worked for me by calming myself and allowing my thoughts to not flood my mind. I am also taking Strattera and the combination is very effective for me. The medications are tools to help me re-learn some of my habits. I don't know if I'll be on them for the rest of my life or if I will stop next year.

Good luck and please keep us posted.

Hi,

Good question. This is something I've wondered about. What's it like to be a normal peep.

I'll move this over to the non-ADD board and see if you get any answers there.

Enquiring minds...

Hi Paws! My name is Liz aka batgirl. I do not have Add but I have a son who has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. IMO Everyone has issues. I do!! I don't believe there is any "normal" person. You are what you are, and you are normal. Just because you have ADD doesn't make you any different or "special". There are all kinds of stresses people go through at every stage of life. Family, work, school, and relationships causes all kinds of stresses. It's how you deal with them that makes a difference. I get depressed and have anxiety attacks among other things. My son is too young to express to me what he's feeling on or off his meds. I also know people that were diagnosed when they were a child but have coped and learned to control themselves/impulses w/o the meds and are doing fine. You live and you learn. So for your question about what it's like to not have ADD...I have no answer. I can accomplish everyday tasks (most of the time lol), it just depends on whats going on in my life. I hope my opinion helps.

Bg

Thanks for replying everyone :) I like all the answers and opinions. It really made me think. Usually when I think, it's at school in a class when a hot guy is passing by and I can see him in the door window :p

Again, thanks for the replys and opinions; they were all unique and very informative :)

Paws

i agree generally that everyone is different but there are a few behavioural differences in people you would call "normal".

In most cases, the normal folks have different experiences of time and very rarely experience the time compression, the feeling that everything is happening "all at once" that many ADD folks experience.

Usually, we are able to focus on something at will and be able to keep that concentration long enough to complete a task, even if it is boring, and if we are not particularly enjoying ourselves. (I'm not sure that's a bonus ;) )

Most of the time, a person who is "normal" does not necessarily act spontaneously in that they have a different way of assessing whether a feeling they have should be acted on or not. Usually they would ponder it for a bit and maybe weigh pros and cons before making more important decisions.

Those are some gross generalities, but those are 3 things that I significantly notice between my ADD friend and myself.

Not to say that anyone couldn't sometimes act in the same way as I noted above, but in general these things above happen more often to us "NORMAL" types..:) :)

hope this helps

cs

I am non-ADD, and I have discussed with my ADD husband how he *thinks* versus how I *think*.

-He says he has streams of ideas flowing into his head from all direcions, all the time, and he has to pay a little bit of attention to each one of them. For him, they are gone as quickly as they come in unless he acts on them immediately. I have a stream of individual ideas flowing into my head from only one direction, and I can ignore them or not as I see fit. I can file the ones I want away to act on at a later time.

-My H likes to have the TV on all the time because it blocks out some of the streams coming into his head, while I don't like to have it on unless I want to watch it because it blocks out my idea stream.

-As soon as my H sees how a project will conclude he is bored with it and moves on to the next, while I take satisfaction in completing a project.

-He likes to have places for things (like tools for example) but as soon as he quits using a tool he forgets about it and consequently can not make himself put the tool in its place, and so is frustrated when he starts the next project because he can't find the tool. For me part of completing the project is putting the tools away. When I start the next project I am not frustrated.

-He is frustrated a lot by things he has or has not done, and but things other people don't do the way he thinks they should. I am rarely frustrated by myself, and I can realize that other people do things differently so overall I am rarely frustrated.

-That said, he can let frustration go as quickly as it comes, while when I am finally frustrated I am bothered for a long time.

And bcaddkid, I rarely feel bored, while my husband constantly complains of boredom... so I have to say being non-ADD isn't boring :)

The closest I have ever came to feeling what I think is normal was not just on meds but also I found a song that was instramental and very beautiful from the movie Meet Joe Black. I was studying Criminal Justice at the time and any time I needed to focus I would put that song on repeat and then turn the volume down to where I could just barely hear it and amazingly I could completely focus on any subject. Another thing I would do that sounds kind of crazy but it really works is I would pretend that I was teaching the class that I had trouble focusing in. That along with that one paticular song and meds,,,, got me on the Deans list for a year and a half when all I had ever known was C's D's and F's. But then I quit taking the meds, split up with my husband and he got my CD and well that was the end of that lol. I am going back to school again in about 2 months and will try my routine again. I know it worked for me and maybe if you can find that right song, it may work for you. (btw,,, I never listened to that type of music with the exception of study time, so maybe it works for other things as well)

I don't know for sure what it's like to be normal thought wise, but it was definately a great question. I think it might have been like when I was pregnant -- for whatever reason, it calmed me right now. I didn't have to fight so hard inside, if you know what I mean. I could relax and just be. I even quit daydreaming and amazingly enough didn't miss it. There was just a peacefulness that was really great -- now I don't know if that's what's normal for most folks or not, but I sure wish it's what was normal for me!

Scattered

Paws13,

I agree with the thought that describing to be ADD or not to be (if only hamlet knew!) is like explaining the color blue to a blind person. And then explaining to them why the color red is your favorite color.

I have ADD and I would also like to tell you that it's not a "problem" to be solved but something to be managed. There isn't a "cure" for ADD and the meds, when you find the right one(s), only help make things clearer and more manageable.

So, keep facing the 9th grade head on and keep posting here.

I believe anything can be solved, I would like to hear a true explanation as to what exactly is Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder..There should be one that is right at least. It shouldn't have to be lengthy, I just want a straight, precise answer! Or maybe I should be asking a better question...What should I be reading, then since I can't get a straight answer from anyone.

Good question Paws, I`m a non ADDer, personally speaking from my own point of view, i think its just a very fine line between ADD and non ADD.

Regarding everything going round in your head, i agree with others, Nons have that too,its just the ability to organise and deal with as best way , i suppose some can and some cant (non`s). I have to make snap decisions in my work , while talking to customers , i have to take and note other info i see around me and act on that too bring to a conclusion i think is best.

I suppose its the ability to organise then shut off and go on to the next issue, theres some people who are non`s who cant , then let everything get ontop of them which may or may not lead to different health and mental problems.

I would consider myself impulsive in certain things.ie buying would be top of my list, as a certain person would confirm :D

I dont consider myself any different from ADDers, but being a partner of an Add`er i do have alot respect for what they have to cope with on a daily basis, but she has some wondererfull qualities that i admire and have to say i lack in, being artistic is just one of them , something of which i`m definatly not :( .

Each and every1 no matter what or not they have in life have qualities different to others, that would be gratefully given if the choice was had.

Hope that helps a little.......just my own personal slant on it.

Well a nonADD person may have ideas roaring around in their head, but it's not likely happening ALL the time, so much that it disturbs your sleep, or that you have a tough time focussing on the task at hand.

A nonADD person may make some decisions impulsively, but it's not all the time so much so that it affects their ability to have long term relationships or manage their bank balance.

The clinical diagnosis of ADD requires that the symptoms are severe enough that it severely affects 2 or more areas of a person's life, e.g. family, career, school, social, relationship.

There can be a range of severity of ADD as diagnosed, 2 areas may be affected with moderate symptoms up to all areas may be affected with severe symptoms, in theory.

With nonADD people, there will be those who have some ADD symptoms but they are not severe enough, or do not affect enough areas of their lives to achieve a clinical diagnosis.

Since the cutoff for ADD to nonADD is currently pretty arbitrary and there are many ADD folks who have not been diagnosed, and even many health care providers who still believe that ADD is a childhood disease ( and will not diagnose it in adults), so it is possible to meet people with ADD or approaching ADD who do not know it and assume they are "average".

The more I try to think of what is like to be nonADD and the more I think of what it means to be ADD, it is like trying to say to two different cultures, what is it like to be you?

In which case, my answer becomes more like: it feels natural, and I would not get into trouble with my spouse/family/friends/etc., usually, for my behaviour or nonbehaviour.

My chin scratchings at the moment.;) :)

cs

As a young child, I always liked to think I was normal. I assumed it. Not to the point that I thought I was exactly the same as everyone else, just that I didn't have anymore problems than anyone else. Since I have been on ritalin or adderall from age 6. Kicked out of kindergarten, b/c I was..well I dunno, I'll ask my mom or something. So the school made me take meds. or never come back. Sounds harsh, no? Anyway, I never thought I was any different, I got along fine until really, I could not focus anymore. I didn't really understand why until 1 year ago. The ADD medicine I used to take! O yeah! (hey! how was I supposed to know, my old psychiatrist thought I grew out of it, or didn't need any extra help to focus, just b/c I did ok in school..I should never have given her my report card! Ok, well it seems like he can perform well w/o meds, so why take the medication? He doesn't really need it..No one ever told me or informed me of what I was actually dealing with. If I had known some of the information I do now!.. Maybe they thought I knew?) It was obvious that the med. had some affect on me.. And since I started taking adderall again I feel like I used to. Energetic and focused, I feel, like I have time to do the things that wouldn't really matter to anyone else again. I don't have to think about focusing so much, b/c I never really had to b4, that's why I had such a hard time. I took med. that helped me focus all while growing up, I never learned how to get along without that little bit of extra help. I became so familiar with that feeling. To the point that, when it was gone, I felt alone and scared.

I just did not feel like I was ever right, or real, when I couldn't focus. Now I feel confidence flowing through my actions making them have really twice the impact.

Thanks for giving an explanation, that was very thoughtful of you (everyone).

And thanks for yours also! :) :) :)

I'm an ADDer and only got diagnosed this August at the age of 41...
I've never thought myself as 'Normal' i always 'knew' there was something 'Wrong?' or 'Different' about me...
But could never put a finger on it, until years later and having my own Children diagnosed with ADHD... I saw for the first time in my life, the reason, for my difficulties and mis-understandings in my life.

I'e been on Concerta for nearly a month and although, i don't feel any significant changes within me ; I did on the first two days of taking Concerta...

The reason i brought this statement into the thread, is because, at long last, i knew how it felt, NOT to be an ADDer?; As the Medication 'Concerta' caused me to see the world, through the eyes of a Non-ADDer?

My head was clearer than i ever remember... No puzzles of mixed thoughts and images etc etc
I had enthusiasm, that i've lacked and never knew i had!

I do NOT think, that there's a slim line between ADDers and Non-ADDers!
I think that a Non ADDer that says there is a thin line between the two different minds, is seeing a Mirage?
As much as a Non-ADDer tries to Learn and Understand about the ADDer and ADDers Brain workings ; They wont learn and understand it all... because they can't feel it, like an ADDer.

I'm an ADDer and i find it hard to understand myself at the best of times...
I'm still learning about myself and needs/Wants and how to accept situations, without giving up and moving on to the next situation.

ADDers can be easily tempted to do things, for the wrong reasons....
That damn Impulsiveness again!!!

My head is hurting... GoodNight All...

to not have ADD -- to think "clearly," to have 1 goal in mind, all the while living, until you give up, or become uninterested???

It's all goal orientation-ADDers have many goals in mind simulatenously almost at all times throughout their entire lives. The problem lies with staying motivated to accomplish all of these goals. The ADDer would have trouble with this b/c the ADDer wants to be normal. The ADDer is just as aware of the outside world as everyone else. They think differently, than the majority. They see themselves as different==they are therefore making a correct observation. The ADDer can see their true-selves just as "clearly" as the next human. The ADDer is different, there is no denying that. They only fail in understanding what's so different about them. They may even give up on that and just believe they are just like everyone else. They can usually pass off as normal b/c they have been observing for a very long time-they learn how to act just the same to every obvious detail.

We see the world through many dimensions at any given instance. We are the most "anal" people I can think of.

The ADDer would seem like a perfectionist-OCD. Schizo-speaking out loud do oneself-more prevalant in the ADDer mostly b/c of the plain and simple fact that they do have more to think about=sometimes they just have to go outside of their minds for a moment to take a breather-they let their sub-conscience take the helm for a moment or two.

I hope no one confusing thinking one thought after another as "clearly"...there's no "quality control" for those thoughts!!!

It's also a rare nonADD person I know that has one goal in mind while they are living. It's common to have different goals for different aspects of ones life, or even to still be nonADD and just take the opportunities as they come or drive a career by the path of least resistance.

A lot of people never even try to have a "goal" except for what they are doing on the weekend.

Just to debunk the finesse you put on that nonADD description;) :D

cs

O' please understand! Thanks cs, by the way.

oh, yes that thought did cross my mind...for one second I can "clearly"(or, with detail) what exactly I thought at the moment I saw that my description of the nonADDer was a bit dull, and quite possibly a little degrading...I am so sorry. I meant no disrespect. I just go by experience if you know what I mean...You could call me, naturally biased.

I did not seperate the two, but that's not the point. It was actually just bad form. I was not trying to describe anyone, I was trying to figure something out..geez---(no disrespect, honestly)

(smile, for there is happiness in my tone)

I just do not get it!!! None of this makes any sense, at all to me!!! None of it does, thinking in sequential thoughts? what the heck? I think therefore I am, what's the point of thinking about how I think, I just do it...I just think, there should be no thought about thinking. thinking should just be...thought, but who the heck thinks, who? what in the world controls thoughts??? why is there thinking. There should not be any thinking at all. I hate words!! I hate labels!! Why can't it just be whatever! It should just be feelings. Words do not carry meaning! Words are meaningless.....Nothing in language means anything at all. The only sense that has been extracted from the entire history of man kind was a standard of measurement (although it should be universal) and the alphabet (only one should have survived).

The alphabet was never meant to communicate feelings.. NOthing means no thing. Unsolvable based upon--there is no proof.

Letters (non numbers-no meaning) were meant to describe variables...weren't they? and numbers can describe things. They describe everyone do they not?

Do you think that maybe it is JUST the opposite of everything that we experience?!? :p

I just do not get it!!! None of this makes any sense, at all to me!!! None of it does, thinking in sequential thoughts? what the heck? I think therefore I am, what's the point of thinking about how I think, I just do it...I just think, there should be no thought about thinking. thinking should just be...thought, but who the heck thinks, who? what in the world controls thoughts??? why is there thinking. There should not be any thinking at all. I hate words!! I hate labels!! Why can't it just be whatever! It should just be feelings. Words do not carry meaning! Words are meaningless.....Nothing in language means anything at all. The only sense that has been extracted from the entire history of man kind was a standard of measurement (although it should be universal) and the alphabet (only one should have survived).

The alphabet was never meant to communicate feelings.. NOthing means no thing. Unsolvable based upon--there is no proof.

Letters (non numbers-no meaning) were meant to describe variables...weren't they? and numbers can describe things. They describe everyone do they not?Interesting... *Scratches head*

No worries, I didn't misread you, you were just mulling over. Perfectly legal. ;)

No disrespect perceived, no harm, no foul.

Please continue that we might compare contrast and learn.:)

cs

O' please understand! Thanks cs, by the way.

oh, yes that thought did cross my mind...for one second I can "clearly"(or, with detail) what exactly I thought at the moment I saw that my description of the nonADDer was a bit dull, and quite possibly a little degrading...I am so sorry. I meant no disrespect. I just go by experience if you know what I mean...You could call me, naturally biased.

I did not seperate the two, but that's not the point. It was actually just bad form. I was not trying to describe anyone, I was trying to figure something out..geez---(no disrespect, honestly)

(smile, for there is happiness in my tone)

sorry 'bout the non-structure (it makes no sense to the reader at all, even me if I just look at the words) of that post...it really does not make much sense unless you think along with it, lol. that post was pure thought. I will try to keep those to a minimum. I actually erased some things I was unsure about-it would have actually made much more sense if I hadn't. Shoot. It doesn't make sense when I try to go back and fix the structure of my writing.

I just wanted to see how people would reply to such an interesting post...sorry my little guinea pigs.

My husband has ADHD and it makes me feel like this:

My success in life mirrors building a four-story house of cards. Everytime I get the house partially built, he turns on a fan or accidentally knocks the table, etc. and my house of cards crumbled. Sometimes I get one story built, sometimes two storys, but I've never been able to build all four stories and have a complete house of cards. Something he does manages to knock it down before completion. Granted, he never knocks it down on purpose, but it is still the end result....my house of cards is never completed. It is still frustrating.

I also use this analogy alot. My husband thinks since he doesn't ever do anything on purpose, that I shouldn't have a problem with it. He didn't mean it. Yet, me getting angry about something he did, he always says is me deliberately attacking him. Talk about being hiprocritical. I tell him this. If you take out a gun and shoot me, I am dead. Even if you didn't mean to, or even if the gun just accidentally went off, I am STILL dead. And you can bet your *ss it still hurt.

He truly never seems to understand my perspective at all.

What an interesting thread. My H and I just listened to Hallowell and another author on NPR today -- very interesting.
I so agree with someone who said every one of us has something going on -- some physicial, emotional or mental problem/challenge and there's probably no such thing as "normal."
Having said that, differences I see between us:
I don't want to stop at the store every day and buy stuff (that I won't use).
I enjoy finishing things. He'll do a great job cleaning up the kitchen, then leave a big pot in the middle of the table.
I have an exercise plan and follow it. He can't.
I can plan meals a week ahead, shop for and cook them. He can't.
I've saved money all my life and am thrifty. He can't plan ahead enough to save money for a vacation or anything else, ever.
I'm in touch with a bevy of friends; although he loves having friends over, he can't keep up with them.
I watch the obstacles he puts in his way and it breaks my heart. He thinks he'd like to finish college, but cannot make himself register and take a class. (Don't know if many ADD people do this, but he goes right to grandiose ideas --that's what he calls them. And the huge thought just stops him. I've tried to get him to break things into little baby steps, like just take one class you like and don't worry just yet about the degree. He can't seem to do that.
But in so many ways (where are my keys???) I'm like him.