My son had his first day of school today, and it didn't go to well. The teacher talked with him 5 times, today. He was hyper and not sitting still and paying attention. The recess lady yelled at him at recess twice, because he was hyper, and trying to go up the slide, instead of down. His friend, kind of blew him off, and he played at recess, all by himself. He hates school, and he doesn't want to go. He wants to be homeschooled. We have a 504 plan implemented, and we're supposed to meet with the special ed teacher in September, to go over the goals.

Right now, he is med free, because the stimulants were causing a stunt in his weight, and he lost some weight. The pediatrician and psychiatrist, felt that it was best to pull him off. That was last May. We did a 504 plan, but he was having a lot of behavioral issues, off the meds. His grades dropped a little bit, but he ended up with A's and B's. I am wondering how this year is going to go. He asked me today, what would happen if he got in trouble. :eek: :mad:

I hope you don't mind, but I need to vent.

Today, was even worse. He was talked to, about 1o times by his teacher, ended up in trouble in gym class for running in the gymnasium, and had to sit out for part of the class. Then, on the way home, he got himself in a lot of trouble for fooling around, in his seat. His bus driver was really mad, and I might have to talk to his principal, tomorrow. I feel bad for him because he is on the severe side, and he tries to control himself as best as he can, but just can't.

Is anyone else, having difficulties, with their kids, being back in school?

Aw, I really feel for you. School is so stressful for all of us. The kids are rested and bored after the long vacation...ready and rarin' to go. Almost too much so.

Is his current teacher aware of his issues? and the bus driver? I know they don't always care, but we always kept in close contact because they often felt reassured just knowing they were dealing with an interested, active parent.

The only other thing I can say is to talk to your pediatrician about starting him back on meds. My older boy could not succeed in school without medications...he didn't stand a chance. Hopefully your son has gained a bit of weight in the break, and often you can start them on a much lower dosage after such a long break. The other thing would be to consider an entirely different medication. I don't know what he was on.

Again, I know how much it hurts as a parent to watch this bright, eager, happy child go out into the world and "crash" through no fault of his own. Just keep on lovin' him and encouraging him and looking for answers. Not much help, but it's all I've been able to figure out.

Hang in there!

Kim

Thanks, Kim, for being so understanding and for the encouragement. It's so hard, seeing him get in trouble, like he is. He tries not to, but with the ADHD symptoms, it makes it hard for him to control himself. He has the combined type, so all of the symptoms, come out. He has ODD, as well.

We implemented a 504 plan for him last year, and I am waiting for the special ed teacher to call to go over the 504 plan for this year. His school knows, and his teacher knows now, but the bus driver doesn't know that he has it. I'll probably have to tell her, so she knows.

We had him on the Concerta 54 mg. We tried the 36 mg, but it wasn't enough, to control the symptoms. We tried the Strattera, but the first day he was on it, he said that his chest was really hurting, and he felt like his heart was going to come out of his chest, and was really lethargic. His doctor said to d/c, and we went back to the concerta. We'll probably go back to the Concerta again, if we go back to his meds.

Thanks again!
Lisa

You might want to ask the doctor about Adderall - many people find that it works better than Concerta - it depends on the person of course.

Lisa,

Is a psychiatrist who is familiar with ADHD prescribing meds for your son?

He was being treated, by a psychiatrist. He was really good, and addressed any concerns that we had. They stopped taking our insurance carrier, so we are in the process, if finding a psychiatrist, that participates. We have MA for him as a secondary insurance, but they can't use it as a primary, if we'd stay there.

We'll probably go back to the Concerta, if we put him back on meds. I am a little worried about the adderall, because it contains amphetamines.

Today was his third day of school, and his teacher talked to him, about 5 times today. He had a hard time in music class as well.

Thanks for replying.

I forgot to mention, that he is familiar with ADHD. He treats other kids with ADHD, and he has a son that has ADHD, and is medicated.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the information so far on your little guy.

Unmedicated ADHD with comorbid conditions.

Age 9, possibly going on 6 years old - ADHD boys can often be as much as three years less mature than their peers.

In grade four? Expectations are higher than they were in the primary grades.

Rides to school on the school bus. Difficult for most kids and in particular for any with a behaviour disorder.

Unstructured times are the most difficult for ADDers. Recess, gym class, lunch time and on the buses are all unstructured times.

Your son is gone for how many hours per day without a break or medication in a setting which is difficult for him?

* * * * * *

They can successfully repair the Challenger in outerspace, but can't solve a little boy's problem with weight loss?

* * * * * *

Jlscott, please, and I mean this sincerely, give your kid a big hug and tell him it's from an old lady who has been there, done that the hard way, too.

Wow. everything you said is true. He's 9. In grade 4. He has ADHD combined, with ODD and Intermittent Explosive Disorder. He has a really hard time, in areas that are unstructured.

Yesterday, he told me that he and another boys decided upon trying to repeatly flush the toliets in the boys room, to see if they would actually overflow. Luckily, it didn't work, because he would have been in a lot of trouble. Suspended I am sure. I made it clear, that he can't do that kind of things, but he is really impulsive, and I am worried that he is going to get himself in trouble. He told me today, that while the bus driver wasn't watching him, he was kicking the back of the seat, and he was flipping around. Then, when she'd look back, he would stop. UGH!!!!!! I have my hands full, this year. He is having a hard time with sitting still in his seat. His teacher talks to him, because he keeps getting off his seat, and acts like he has ants in his pants. That, and the hyperness. He gets on the bus at 8:25, and gets home at 3:45. He has a long day, without meds.

It's either I end up putting him back on the meds, or homeschool him, and with the ODD, I don't know how he would do.

We were doing behavioral modification with him and it wasn't doing much. His therapist is really worried about him.

I'll give him a hug for you, and explain to him that you went through this as well. Thanks! I've been giving him a lot of hugs lately, so he knows that I love him, unconditionally.

Thanks for replying!

I forgot to mention (can you tell that I have ADHD) LOL

This is his third day of school, and he came home with social studies homework, math homework, he has to study his multiplication facts, plus he has to memorize 30 words for a pre-test on Monday.

Last year, they studied basic algebra. introductory chemistry ( litmus paper with various chemicals), basic geometry, and embryology (hatching chicks in incubators). This was in 3rd grade. I never did that kind of things in 3rd grade. This year, is going to be harder, as it already seems that he is getting a lot of homework. I hope he does OK.

Yesterday, he told me that he and another boys decided upon trying to repeatly flush the toliets in the boys room, to see if they would actually overflow.

He told me today, that while the bus driver wasn't watching him, he was kicking the back of the seat, and he was flipping around. Then, when she'd look back, he would stop.
If this kid is this honest about "what I did at school today", he really deserves for everyone to find a way around this nutritional problem if the meds are of any help for him. Are you able to contact a dietician? Our local hospital dietician was a great help on the phone with questions about my daughter's allergies. Doctors do not spend much time learning about nutrition at medical school.

JLScott,

My son has very similar experiences with school and I am NOT going to medicate him. However, I have found out that he is allergic to red dye and when he drinks or eats ANYTHING with red dye in it the symptoms increase anywhere from slightly noticeable to level of rage that are uncontrollable.

I also found out that low doses of Vitamin B-6 and B-12 help keep him stable.
But I don't give it to him all of the time. I don't want his body to build up an intolerance to it. So, he gets it on days when there will be events that might trigger the symptoms. Like birthday parties, first days at school and riding the bus, and even several days in a row when the weather keeps him inside most of the time and he doesn't get enough activity.

He started first grade this week and tonight he had a melt down about school and getting in trouble and kept saying "none of the kids like me" and "you don't like me. nobody likes me" and other outbursts that are all just part of it.

We noticed too, that if he had red food dye, it made it worse. We completely eliminated any items with red food coloring, and he mostly drinks water and milk, and if he gets juice, it is fruit juices or things that are 100 percent juice.
(Juicyjuice)

I had to pry a little about his day, and he told me about the bathroom and bus incidences. :eek:

We were hoping that we could keep him off the meds, but I don't know if that is going to be possible.

I can relate to the meldown, because we already went though some here.

Thanks for replying!
Lisa



JLScott,

My son has very similar experiences with school and I am NOT going to medicate him. However, I have found out that he is allergic to red dye and when he drinks or eats ANYTHING with red dye in it the symptoms increase anywhere from slightly noticeable to level of rage that are uncontrollable.

I also found out that low doses of Vitamin B-6 and B-12 help keep him stable.
But I don't give it to him all of the time. I don't want his body to build up an intolerance to it. So, he gets it on days when there will be events that might trigger the symptoms. Like birthday parties, first days at school and riding the bus, and even several days in a row when the weather keeps him inside most of the time and he doesn't get enough activity.

He started first grade this week and tonight he had a melt down about school and getting in trouble and kept saying "none of the kids like me" and "you don't like me. nobody likes me" and other outbursts that are all just part of it.

I had to pry a little about his day, and he told me about the bathroom and bus incidences. :eek:
Hey, part of being a parent is to seek the truth. The trick is asking the right questions without backing someone into a corner, making them feel defensive and starting a pattern of defensive lying.

Don't sell yourself short. You and your son still have good communication and that will be very valuable in the next few years when he, man-child that he is, starts to distance himself, especially from his female parent, and take to his den to get through adolescence.

Besides, it's so nice to get the truth before you embarrass yourself in the principal's office. :eek:

Hi!! My son is nine and on Adderall only at school. That was the only way to shut the teachers/counselors/principle up. Yes he doesn't gain that much weight but he's not losing any either. I feed him a full breakfast before he gets his meds. Then when he comes home he is starving so I always have snacks for him before dinner. I think he eats what he wants at school and sometimes I pack him a lunch with the foods he likes. He is on a low dose, but I think after 2yrs he may need a higher dose. It doesn't last the 12 hours and it's hard as heck to get him to do his homework. I hope that helps some.

Bg

Another 2 cents from me...

My son was severely ill with asthma, had whooping cough, ADHD/ODD from the age of 3 onwards. Getting him to eat was always a problem. He would only eat noodles with NOTHING on them and some fruit. They sent us off for a 4 week rehab and I talked to a nutritionist there who reassured me that he was eating just fine. He tended to not eat for long periods of time and then have 2-3 days of non-stop consumption. I had to learn to match his rhythms so that when he was eating I was filling him up with lots of good stuff.

If he eats just fruits and not veggies, that's not so bad. You can sneak some veggies into spagehtte sauce really easily...tomatoes, onions, carrot, and maybe a tablespoon of celery. It's better than nothing. Look for other ways to sneak some of that good stuff in, too.

Carbos are the most important and the nutritionist said if he ate one piece of meat a week he was fine. Although, a piece of fish would have been nice.

We still have to watch to make sure that he doesn't "drink" himself full.

On to the Concerta...our psychiatrist said that in her experience it tended to work really well in the beginning, but eventually people noticed that it was "unstable". Worked some days and not others. My son is now on another slow-release version which seems to work really well.

Just a word of encouragement, too. As my son hit puberty his appetite grew enormously! He shot up 10 inches and put on about 30 lbs in about 4 months. Talk about a shock!!! We have been dancing to keep the dosages on track, but it does go to show that each kid is different and will grow and develop differently.

It does sound like you are doing a great job and I can only say "hang in there". Feel free to vent anytime, coz sometimes that's all one has left and then we get back on our feet and come out fighting again!

Hugs,

Kim

Open communication, is really important. I told him, that I'd rather hear it from him, than from the school district. There are two sides to a story, and I want to know his side of things too, in case I get a call by the teacher or principal. I am hoping that as he gets older, we can maintain an open communication. He could be in some serious trouble, and without the communication, I might not know. :(


QUOTE=Imnapl]Hey, part of being a parent is to seek the truth. The trick is asking the right questions without backing someone into a corner, making them feel defensive and starting a pattern of defensive lying.

Don't sell yourself short. You and your son still have good communication and that will be very valuable in the next few years when he, man-child that he is, starts to distance himself, especially from his female parent, and take to his den to get through adolescence.

Besides, it's so nice to get the truth before you embarrass yourself in the principal's office. :eek:
[/QUOTE]

Putting my two cents in here too.

There are many studies that show that medication helps with behaviour. Behaviour seems to be his biggest problem. When his grades and social development falter to a significant level please reconsider meds. He sounds smart and he could get buy till High School but at that time it may be hard to have him take meds. Kids become more independent then.

Theraputic levels of stimulants are as safe as any other class of drugs. http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17742

Finally, the 504 plan....should focus on transistions and free time. It sounds like this is where he is having many of his problems.

My son, sounds a lot like that. He's been eating pretty well, but still has days, that are so-so. I try and keep his meals as evenly-balanced as possible, and watch what kind of snacks that he eats. He likes fruits, and certain vegetables. He loves peas. He loves Chef Boyardee mini-ravioli, and cheeseburger ravioli. He is a big carb eater too. I try to encourage carbs, for weight-gain.

We noticed that too, about the Concerta. It seemed to work well for a while, and then it didn't work as well, so we upped the dosage. He was on the 54 mg dosage, and it seemed to help, but he wasn't gaining any weight. He actually lost some weight.

I hope my son does the same, and starts gaining weight. He's gained almost 15 lbs from being off the meds, but the ADHD symptoms are really bad.

Thank you so much for replying, and for the advice! :)
Lisa



Another 2 cents from me...

My son was severely ill with asthma, had whooping cough, ADHD/ODD from the age of 3 onwards. Getting him to eat was always a problem. He would only eat noodles with NOTHING on them and some fruit. They sent us off for a 4 week rehab and I talked to a nutritionist there who reassured me that he was eating just fine. He tended to not eat for long periods of time and then have 2-3 days of non-stop consumption. I had to learn to match his rhythms so that when he was eating I was filling him up with lots of good stuff.

If he eats just fruits and not veggies, that's not so bad. You can sneak some veggies into spagehtte sauce really easily...tomatoes, onions, carrot, and maybe a tablespoon of celery. It's better than nothing. Look for other ways to sneak some of that good stuff in, too.

Carbos are the most important and the nutritionist said if he ate one piece of meat a week he was fine. Although, a piece of fish would have been nice.

We still have to watch to make sure that he doesn't "drink" himself full.

On to the Concerta...our psychiatrist said that in her experience it tended to work really well in the beginning, but eventually people noticed that it was "unstable". Worked some days and not others. My son is now on another slow-release version which seems to work really well.

Just a word of encouragement, too. As my son hit puberty his appetite grew enormously! He shot up 10 inches and put on about 30 lbs in about 4 months. Talk about a shock!!! We have been dancing to keep the dosages on track, but it does go to show that each kid is different and will grow and develop differently.

It does sound like you are doing a great job and I can only say "hang in there". Feel free to vent anytime, coz sometimes that's all one has left and then we get back on our feet and come out fighting again!

Hugs,

Kim

Thanks for replying! We're going to see how this week goes, but we'll probably have to put him back on the meds, for the behavioral issues, and social issues. Off his meds, he seems to act immature, as opposed to the other kids his age, and I worry that the hyperness and impulsiveness is going to get him in a lot of trouble, and also that his grades will be affected. He's a smart child, but displays a lot of ADHD symptoms.

We had him on medication at one time, and it was helping him, but it was stunting his growth, so we pulled him off. I am not opposed to putting him back on the meds, if we have to. We might not have a choice, if things don't get better.

Thanks for replying, scuro! :)
Lisa



Putting my two cents in here too.

There are many studies that show that medication helps with behaviour. Behaviour seems to be his biggest problem. When his grades and social development falter to a significant level please reconsider meds. He sounds smart and he could get buy till High School but at that time it may be hard to have him take meds. Kids become more independent then.

Theraputic levels of stimulants are as safe as any other class of drugs. http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17742

Finally, the 504 plan....should focus on transistions and free time. It sounds like this is where he is having many of his problems.

First, I just have to say, Lisa, that your story is absolutely heart-wrenching ... one of the first things I thought was how most people don't even consider how much effort and pain and concern and research and monitoring parents of "difficult" kids do. Whenever they see a child misbehaving, they always assume it's due to bad parenting or a horrific home life. When, I think, (for the most part -- there's obviously exceptions) the parents of the difficult kids are usually working waaay harder than the parents of "easy" kids. People don't understand how exhausting it is and how disappointing when you think you're doing everything right and trying to find the best ways to treat your kids and things STILL don't go right.

But besides all of that, I just wanted to say I have a 7-yr-old who will be starting 2nd grade next week. This summer has been nutritional tests for us, before we consider meds. My son craves milk and carbs -- the bad carbs like bread, pasta, chips, crackers. I've cut all cow's milk out of his drinking diet and am trying to limit cheese and yogurt to as little as possible. We went through soy, almond, rice and hazelnut milks until he picked the one he liked the best. I'm also limiting his intake of bad carbs, and increasing his protein.

Two other things we did was start Omega supplements on a daily basis and a breakfast shake that I read about -- you use protein powder (hi-pro/lo-carb) with soy or almond milk and coffee. I use chocolate soy milk and add a few drops of Stevia -- a natural, non-sugar sweetener -- to make it more appealing. The caffeine and protein provide the equivalent of a low-dose of Ritalin. Caffeine actually calms ADHDers instead of winding them up. Something I never knew before ...

When I'm disciplined about following all of this, I've noticed a significant change in my son. On a trip a couple of weeks ago, I let him have 2 glasses of cow's milk with dinner in a restaurant and then cereal with cow's milk for breakfast the next morning. That day he was absolutely out of control.

Obviously, everyone has different things that work for them, but these have been good for us ... during the summer in a much less-structured-than-school summer day care envirnoment. We'll see how things go with school next week.

Good luck to you. I hope things get better soon!

Thanks, chitchat. My son is a big carb eater too, and craves carbs. My son loves Pepsi, and we'll give him some, when he becomes really hyper, and needs to wind down.

I agree, with what you were saying. It seems that the parents, get blamed for the childs behavior. If only they would walk a day in our shoes, to see how difficult it is. Maybe there would be less ignorance, and more understanding.

We've been starting to give him protein shakes, at night. I'll have to look into the Omega. Thanks for the suggestion!

How is your son doing on the meds?

Jl,

Hang in there. Your son is going to need you more than ever this year. Also, AMEN to whoever made the point that parenting a difficult child is way more work than parenting a "normal" one.

My daughter is just now beginning 5th grade and wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until just after fourth grade. As a result, our fourth grade year was a nightmare! Here in Ohio, the kids have to take a huge proficiency test about 2/3 of the way through the year. To prepare the kids (and to torture the parents) the schools cram the entire year's worth of cirriculum into the first 2/3 of the year. My daughter had so much homework that it would take at least an hour (not including another 1/2 hour of reading right before bed) and usually 1 1/2 to 2 hours to finish. We had a number of days when she spent 4 to 5 hours on homework. Naturally, her inability to concentrate and her temper made her homework take at least twice as long as it would have otherwise.

Em's grades started to suffer about halfway through the year because the teachers stopped monitoring the kids as closely and despite having spent hours on her homework the night before, she'd simply forget to turn it in. Later in the year things got worse because her language arts teacher had the kids working in a very unstructured setting. Em got her worst grades in what should have been her best subject.

All of this took a huge toll on her self esteem. Before her diagnosis I couldn't understand why she was having so much trouble with organizational tasks and why she would make such sloppy mistakes in her work. My almost constant efforts to monitor and change her behavior only seemed to make things worse. Her social life suffered partly because she never had time to spend with her friends and partly because the difference in maturity between her ADHD non-medicated self and her friends was becoming more and more noticeable. Our home life was hell.

Em wasn't diagnosed until so late because she's gifted and could slide by in school while paying little attention. Also, her hyperactivity didn't show up much in school at all. At home her hyperactivity was so entangled with her temper outbursts, that I didn't understand what was going on. Finally I saw an article which mentioned that you don't have to be the stereotypical picture of "hyperactive" to have ADHD.

After her diagnosis we started her slowly on Strattera. It was still early in the summer and we had plenty of time for the medicine to work. She started at 25 mg for a week and then, over the course of a month, worked her way up to 50mg. I could see subtle differences after just a few days and within two weeks, there was a remarkable change in her self control. The temper outbursts were gone, she acted her age (or even a little more mature than the typical 10 year old), she was patient and kind and sweet. In short, she was the wonderful kid I always knew she was (but saw only glimpses of before).

Now that it's been eight weeks I have trouble remembering how bad it was before. I'm still not sure that her concentration is where it needs to be. I'll give the Strattera another month or so, then we may try a low level dose of a long-acting stimulant to boost the concentration. She's in a gifted class at school and she really needs to be on her toes.

I totally respect those of you who try to help your kids without medication. Without knowing why I was having to do it, I had been doing the same thing with Em since she was a little girl. For us, however, her symptoms were getting way worse instead of better. Also, she was already 75th percentile for height and weight, so we didn't have any concerns about her growthand choosing to medicate her was easier. Now that she's medicated, the Strattera has gotten rid of her impulsiveness, so now she makes all those good food choices I'd been drilling into her all these years. She's lost five pounds or so in the last two months, but she was slightly overweight anyway, so now she looks fantastic.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that if you aren't adverse to medication, you may want to reconsider it. You mentioned that you briefly tried Strattera and that it affected his heart rate. You didn't say what the starting dose was and how big your son is. Em had mild side effects the first couple of days (nausea, sleepiness and dizziness), but they're gone and she can't even tell she's on the meds anymore.

If the Strattera won't work I know there are any number of other individual medications and combinations that can help. Em was diagnosed by a wonderful psychologist, but her ped prescribes her meds and she has a son and an ex-husband who are ADHD, so she's very supportive and knowledgeable.

Good luck!

We started him on the 25 mg, of Strattera, and he had a lot of bad side effects. He said that is chest was really hurting, and was ready to come out of his chest. The pediatrician told me to take him off. Plus, he was so lethargic, by 6:00 at night, he was falling asleep at the dinner table. He had already lost weight, and was down to 45 lbs, at age 9. The strattera isn't an option. If we go back to anything,it would be the concerta. Everyone's side effects are different, and with the stunted growth, it was a major concern with the pediatrician, and psychiatrist. It sounds like your daughter was able to tolerate the side effects, a little better.

He's still getting talked to at school, and doing impulsive things at school and on the bus, but the teacher hasn't called me yet, so I guess they aren't too concerned over the behavior.

We'll see.

Thanks for replying!

I read every post about your son, so I thought it may be somewhat beneficial to relate a story about my friends son.

He was very BAD in school. Extremely hyper wouldn't sit still. Constant phone calls from the teacher. He was always climbing everything. Multiple parent teacher conferences to discuss his behavior.

He was diagnosed to allegedly have ADHD. The recommendation was to medicate him. While my friends wife was for it, as she was a stay at home mother and had to "deal" with his behavior at home he was dead set against it.

So the child was never medicated. He is now 13 fairly mellow and even tempered despite also having endured his parents divorce. He does well in school and has many friends.

The relevance between your son and my friend's son is that their behavior's were almost exactly the same. My friends son over time gradually showed a dramatic change in tempermant.

If you met him now you would see a somewhat shy and slightly reserved child. Absolutely no evidence of the wild child he once was.

The behavioral patterns of children can and do change over time. And sometimes it literally is "just their nature". There is a Latin expression which basically translates "one day this to we shall look at fondly".

The human brain is dynamic never more so than in childhood. They are experiencing rapid physiological growth and also changes in their environment as far as teachers, changing grades, new curriculum friends etc.

I do not advocate for or against the diagnosis of children with ADHD but I do believe that special care should be taken. My friends son was a textbook diagnosis of ADHD and now he is not.

Good Luck

Mike

Does your friend or his wife, have ADD or ADHD? I was diagnosed as having ADD (wasn't known as ADHD back then) and still display ADHD symptoms. I wonder though, that if that is a good indication as to how the child will be, if the parents are displaying the same symptoms into adulthood. Just wondering. :confused: His counselor had him diagnosed as ADHD/ODD/IED, and said that she thinks that he's going to have symptoms into adulthood. Hopefully, I am wrong though, and the hyperness and impulsiveness diminish, but the impulsiveness seems to be getting worse, as he is getting older.:eek:
Thanks for replying, Mike.

Do you ever get the feeling that they watch your son closer then the other children for negative behaviours? My kids often complain that they can be doing the samething other kids are doing but they are the ones who get yelled at or yelled at the longest. I know the teachers try to keep them in line and crack down at the first possible sign of misconduct but its really not helping when other kids misbehaving are not punished in the same manner as they are.

I mean running up the slide, I thought all kids did that.
Running in the gymnasium during PE, aren't they supposed to be doing that?

I agree with Kim about keeping the chain of communication open with not only his teacher but the bus driver, principal, etc. I've found they are more accepting and willing to work with me if they know I am doing my best to help my child change his/her behaviour for THEIR benefit. Everyone likes to know their concerns are valid and appreciated.

I know your worried about the Amphetamines in certain meds but don't discount them just yet for that purpose. While they could lead to possible addiction if given in monitored dosages they can be so beneficial and could save yourself and your son a lot of future heart ache. Its a tough choice I know I've been forced to make it myself and don't envy anyone that position. As far as the weight loss issue goes did you in the past try giving him Children's Ensure as a snack to boost his calorie intake? It honestly worked for Koda and we also gave him his meds in the morning with a milk shake since he had issues with swallowing meds at that age.

One of my kids' teachers started doing excercises as a class between subject changes to help with the fidgets as she calls them. And its a known fact that excercise gets the blood pumping, which provides nurtrients and oxygen to the brain. Would your son's teacher allow for a little fast paced excercise between subject changes? Their favorite game was a learning tool as well they would play duck/duck/goose but use states and capitals instead or do math relays to the chalk board.

We also started a BMP with their teachers and still participate in it even though Koda is in junior high. If they are called down no more then twice a day (pertains to all students not just mine) they are allowed a small party on Friday where parents send a snack and they play review games. We had to get really creative with our kids as soon as we came up with a new program they thought of ways to work around it and still get the incentive.

I totally believe that diet can make all the difference. We noticed an increase of complaints after lunch from the teachers. After a little investigation we found out that the lunch lady was allowing them chocolate milk and deserts even though we don't allow much caffeine intake, when your body isn't used to it~~well, I'm sure you can get the mental image of how they were acting. And don't even get me started on skittles I swear I could tie a rope around them and they could drag my car to California and back with just one bag.

In the fourth grade I started to notice that Koda didn't want to discuss certain things with me. If that happens don't take it personally he is just starting to accept your gender differences and is still trying to figure out everyone's roles in the world pertaining to their sex.

Mike,

While I love your story you can in fact be a text book case for ADD/ADHD without having outward signs. As a child and early teen I found it impossible to sit still, always getting in trouble, I've even had a teacher pick me in my desk up and throw me out the door because I couldn't stop laughing over nothing sadly it only made me laugh harder though I wanted to stop so then I started crying because I couldn't stop laughing. Anyways long story short learned to control my physical impulses and am able to appear calm and reserved on the outside. While my brain is running fifty miles a second processing far more then its capable of processing, switching thought process's and subjects every few seconds.

You can have a calm body and manner and still be MENTALLY ADD/ADHD.

Futs, have you ever volunteered as a classroom helper?

Yes, Thursdays in Lexi's class and Fridays with Koda's lab class. What does that have to do with this though?

whoops forgot to mention that I have never out grown my fondness for field trips I haven't missed one yet. lol

I work in schools.

Do you ever get the feeling that they watch your son closer then the other children for negative behaviours? My kids often complain that they can be doing the samething other kids are doing but they are the ones who get yelled at or yelled at the longest. I know the teachers try to keep them in line and crack down at the first possible sign of misconduct but its really not helping when other kids misbehaving are not punished in the same manner as they are. I feel that way too. There are other kids that are acting up too, but it seems as if he gets singled out a lot.

I mean running up the slide, I thought all kids did that. I thought so too.
Running in the gymnasium during PE, aren't they supposed to be doing that? Apparently, they were playing line tag, and he said that he was walking fast, and he ended up getting 2 strikes ( out of 3) and had to sit out of the game. I thought gym was for burning off energy, that kids have...especially ADHD kids.

I agree with Kim about keeping the chain of communication open with not only his teacher but the bus driver, principal, etc. I've found they are more accepting and willing to work with me if they know I am doing my best to help my child change his/her behaviour for THEIR benefit. Everyone likes to know their concerns are valid and appreciated. I've been hoping the his teacher writes me a letter, to let me know what areas he is having difficulties in. I am going to call her tomorrow, and see if she can send me a note him, as to how things are going, and what areas he is having problems with. He said that he is having a really hard time with sitting still in his seat, and keeps getting off his seat, and is geting talked to a lot. The special ed teacher is supposed to contact me, about going over this years, 504 plan. I am going to call her tomorrow too, and see if I can meet with her. His teacher sent the parents a questionaire home, and in the comments section, I stated that I would like to know if he is having difficulties in the classroom or in school.

I know your worried about the Amphetamines in certain meds but don't discount them just yet for that purpose. While they could lead to possible addiction if given in monitored dosages they can be so beneficial and could save yourself and your son a lot of future heart ache. Its a tough choice I know I've been forced to make it myself and don't envy anyone that position. As far as the weight loss issue goes did you in the past try giving him Children's Ensure as a snack to boost his calorie intake? It honestly worked for Koda and we also gave him his meds in the morning with a milk shake since he had issues with swallowing meds at that age. I think that I am a little worried, after hearing that the Adderall was pulled off the shelves in Canada, but I would be open to whatever the doctor feels would be best for him. We've been buying him Walmart brand supplement drinks for him to drink. He likes the chocolate, and the plus, has 350 calories ( ithink that's what it is) in one can. That and we're been making him milkshakes with milk and icecream, and a scoop of protein (fron the GNC store). He gained about 15 lbs, being off the meds, but he is a really slow gainer, and has such a high metabolism. It makes it really difficult.

One of my kids' teachers started doing excercises as a class between subject changes to help with the fidgets as she calls them. And its a known fact that excercise gets the blood pumping, which provides nurtrients and oxygen to the brain. Would your son's teacher allow for a little fast paced excercise between subject changes? Their favorite game was a learning tool as well they would play duck/duck/goose but use states and capitals instead or do math relays to the chalk board. That's a really good idea. I might mention this at the 504 meeting. Thanks for the suggestion!

We also started a BMP with their teachers and still participate in it even though Koda is in junior high. If they are called down no more then twice a day (pertains to all students not just mine) they are allowed a small party on Friday where parents send a snack and they play review games. We had to get really creative with our kids as soon as we came up with a new program they thought of ways to work around it and still get the incentive. Last year, we did a reward system with how well he did his homework without difficulties. He had a hard time with heing able to sit still and concentrate, and the ODD made it worse. If he earned a certain amt of points, the special ed teacher, let him get a reward.

I totally believe that diet can make all the difference. We noticed an increase of complaints after lunch from the teachers. After a little investigation we found out that the lunch lady was allowing them chocolate milk and deserts even though we don't allow much caffeine intake, when your body isn't used to it~~well, I'm sure you can get the mental image of how they were acting. And don't even get me started on skittles I swear I could tie a rope around them and they could drag my car to California and back with just one bag. I think diet is really important. We noticed that red food dye was terrible, for him. He would almost literally bounce off the walls. Skittles..oy. Yeah, they have a lot of food coloring, and If he is like my son, I can imagine how Koda gets. :eek:

In the fourth grade I started to notice that Koda didn't want to discuss certain things with me. If that happens don't take it personally he is just starting to accept your gender differences and is still trying to figure out everyone's roles in the world pertaining to their sex. My son is like this too. I try to ask questions about his day, without making him upset. I swear he acts like he is 9, going on 14...:faint:

Mike,

While I love your story you can in fact be a text book case for ADD/ADHD without having outward signs. As a child and early teen I found it impossible to sit still, always getting in trouble, I've even had a teacher pick me in my desk up and throw me out the door because I couldn't stop laughing over nothing sadly it only made me laugh harder though I wanted to stop so then I started crying because I couldn't stop laughing. Anyways long story short learned to control my physical impulses and am able to appear calm and reserved on the outside. While my brain is running fifty miles a second processing far more then its capable of processing, switching thought process's and subjects every few seconds.

You can have a calm body and manner and still be MENTALLY ADD/ADHD.
That's true. Everyone is different with their ADHD symptoms. Thanks Cherity for being supportive, and for the advice!

Lisa

Ummm ok so is my volunteering a good thing or a bad thing?

I know my kids are naughty I just expect them to get the same treatment as everyone else's kids. When they are doing something wrong in a group I get highly offended when my kids are the ones yelled at or have a harsher punishment because "they want to set the standard" MO is they need to be more formatted or let someone elses kid be the standard. I have nothing against punishment in general if its fair.

I don't wait for the teachers to contact me anymore. Many times they don't notice a pattern until it is almost nearly impossible to break. Since Koda tends to try the same ole thing every year I am able to warn teachers that he may do this or do that, this reaction has worked in the past and to please contact me asap if they notice any slacking in the core studies so that we can get him back on track with a lot less head aches on everyone's part. I feel they appreciate the fact that if Koda or Lexi get trouble in school it is reinforced at home, if they are rewarded at school it is reinforced at home as well. It really does take a full team effort.

The point about self-esteem is really important, I think. With my step-daughter, she wasn't diagnosed until age 11 and had already suffered horribly in school and with relationships by then. Even though medication helped her get through the rest of school, it couldn't undo the damage to her self-esteem.

Now with my son, who is only 7, I haven't taken the medication plunge yet. We're still in the process of getting the evaluation (from initial phone call to actual appt will be 2 or 3 months, I bet), and so I'm trying all sorts of nutritional approaches in the meantime, since school starts for him next week. I'm feeling an urge to avoid medications with him, I think because he's so much younger than my daughter was. It seems harsh giving such a little kid meds. But I know that's irrational, and when it comes down to it, if the doctor recommends it and he needs it to succeed in school, I won't hesitate.

Years from now, whether he got an A or a C in 2nd grade math won't be the issue -- but how he feels about himself will be.

And I agree about the ADHD kids being singled out as trouble makers when other kids are doing the same thing. That happened with my daughter all the time. Once a kid is on the radar, teacher's always assume they're the instigator. I have to say, I've been guilty as a parent of the same sort of assumption. It's hard not to, but it's not right or fair to the kids either ...

Since both my kids are known offenders and rule breakers I'm often blamed for punishing without cause. If they won't tell me who then I assume its both of them. I try hard to work with the teachers and have even sat in on Koda's classes until he started getting his behaviour under control (trust me I'm much harsher then his teacher could have ever hoped to be) but we are starting to notice a trend with this one TA and its starting to really upset me to put it nicely.

While in study hall she will yell at Dakota that she knows his math homework isn't done and that he should shut up and do his work instead of jabbering. Now, I've been lied to before Koda does try to play one against the other to gain the advantage a lot so I asked some of his study hall mates about the situation and if they had their homework done.

What they all seem to agree on is that they were all talking, nobody had their homework done and handed in and Koda was the only one yelled at.

The rest of the story changes a little...she yanked him to his chair (which Koda says didn't happen), she snapped her fingers in Koda's face (again I think he'd remember that), etc.

Her story is that she just knows how Koda tends to put things off (I got that this morning). When I told her that I understand that and know she has his best interest at heart we as his parents knowing how low his self esteem already is right now and in the past being such an open target for bullying would appreciate if she'd ask him to help her and speak with him out in the hallway. When she got angry I made the request to the principal who was standing right there to have Koda moved to another study hall. I have yet to hear the answer but I will by the time he gets out of school.

I may have a few suggestions. My son had a hard time his 1st yr of school. He is not ADHD. He is high anxiety, PDD traits, and maybe border ADHD. We did a daily notebook w/ his teacher. I liked that cause there was always some positive info and negative about his day. Then I could think of a small reward if he had some real good days and talk about the minor issues that may have occured that day. As well as take care of and big issue that occured. I would also write how he went to bed or wokeup...anything that could affect his day. You said he was on concerta. Maybe you should ask about ritalin. It is the same as concerta I hear but more monitored by you. Only last 4hrs instead of 12hrs. He could take that 1 dose am and 1 dose at lunch. It doesn't have to be taken everyday. So the days he doesn't have school you could try without it. Something you might want to look into. As far as the bus go. You could ask if he can have front seat reserved for him right behind bus driver. Maybe even see if he can have a specific buddy in taht seat everyday as long as they sit nicely together. With stuff like recess try and go over some of the rules with him from time to time. These are a few things I could think of trying. Good Luck

My kids' teachers write in their planners. I thought all schools were using planners nowadays? I personally love them and am a firm advocate for their use in every school. Not only do I know what is coming up, I know what is due and what has already been handed in and I get little notes home.

They've been doing pretty good lately so there is just usually a happy face at the top of the page indicating a good day. Though now you have me wondering if only Koda's first period instructor is writing in the planner and if I should start a new method of communication so I catch all his teachers.

True Nucking_Futs as kids get older they get so many teachers and it is so hard to keep track of. When I was in HS my mom had me do an assignment sheet for all my classes. It had name of class, date, assignment, comments, and a spot for teacher's signature. It was my responsibilty to hand it to each of my teachers at the beginning of class and pick it up at the end of class. It had to be signed too. Over all it worked pretty good.

thats a good suggestion now I just have to come up with something he really wants to get him to do it. mmmmmm lol I get nothing for free in this house lol

LOL!!!! I know how that goes. Maybe a weekly reward. If he has it all completed every Friday he gets something or do something.

Futs, volunteering is a very good thing; the more the better. Being in the classroom helps everyone get to know each other better and gives a parent a chance to shine in front of their child, his teachers and classmates.

One of life's major lessons is learning to be responsible for yourself and your actions. Three noon hour supervisors who are responsible for supervising 300 students are not going to "catch" everyone, everytime. A teacher who is trying to teach a class of thirty plus students is not going to "catch" everyone, everytime.

When the highway patrol stops you for speeding, do you, as a mature, responsible, citizen tell the officer that everyone else was speeding so why do I get the ticket?

When you take an unauthorized smoke break at work and get caught, do you, as a mature, responsible, employee tell your boss that everyone else does it so why am I in trouble?

Kids learning the ropes of responsible behaviour often suffer the pangs of righteous indignation when getting caught doing something they know they shouldn't have done. They are kids. When they tell us,"Billy Bob was doing it too", we simply say, "You are responsible for your own behaviour." Easy to understand; easy to remember.

Kids expect consequences for their actions.

Wolfette, thank you for sharing some excellent strategies. I hope you have lots more to share. I wish I had had your mom as an ADHD coach when I was in high school.

TY Imnapl, My parents did foster care and got most the challenging kids cause they were tough but had some good techniques. I came to live w/ them at age 2 as a foster kid myself. They were my 7th home in 1yr cause of my severe ADHD. They were told my next place would be an institution. They could not imagine a 2yr old placed in an institution at all. Heck I can't even imagine that and I use to work in a child care center. Have worked w/ alot of challenging kids as well. I was dx at age 3 and put on ritalin by age 4. They knew it was working when I could stop long enough to watch a full commercial. By age 5 my biological parents rights were finaly terminated and I was adopted by my foster family:)

Jl,

That's too bad about the Strattera. Your son started on twice the dose per body weight compared to my daughter. She was just over 90 pounds when she started at 25 mg. It took us a month to build up to her target dose. I'm not surprised he had awful side effects. Em had a tough time getting through the first day on only half that dose.

I do believe teachers focus on the kids with known issues. Right now I'm debating whether to tell Em's teachers about her ADHD or let it go until I see whether it will affect her this year.

Hang in there and be sure to take care of yourself. The better rested and less stressed I am the better our days go.