I have ADD and my girlfriend has ADHD. Well I have known this for sometime but she finnally told me some other things last night to explain her recent behaviours that has me asking myself what the heck. She told me last night that also she has OCD, MPD, and Bi-polar. This I can handle, what I am not sure about is the fact that she is not seeing a Dr. anymore. She says she has this under control without meds or therapy. Is it possible to have all these disorders under control? She says she didn't want to tell me about the MPD b/c everyone always gets scared away by it. I am not the kind of person to scare easy but I am concerned about her lack of treatment. I need some feed back on this.

OCD, MPD, and Bi-polar


Okay I know what OCD is- obcessive compulsive disorder
Bi-Polar is a given
What is MPD???? manic depresive disorder was all I could think about and it is the same thing as bi-polar.


Has she been formally diagnosed with all of these things????


How well does she function and relate?????.

To the best of my knowledge it would be the severity of these disorder that would determine weather or not she could function without medications.

I do understand things like bi-polar can get worse as one ages but I could be mistaken.

I am going to provide you some links to areas here on the forum where I believe your questions can best be answered. These are discussions amoung folks who are living and dealing with this co-existing conditions.


Obsessive compulsive disorder

http://www.addforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=54


ADD and bi-polar information/threads


http://www.addforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=55


I guess my response to weather or not you should insist she get treatment or leave the relationship is

get more information......these threads may help I would also want to find out why she is not seeing a doctor and why she doesn't want to take any medication.

If the bi-polar is severe and she refuses to take medications and treat the condition then it will be extremely difficult for her to live a normal life, and relate in ways that would produce a healthy bond.

MPD multiple personality disorder and she is with 5 main identities. She has been diagnosed and I normally would say that it can't be too bad cause I didn't notice but in actuality,,,, I have been thinking she was cheating on me because she would go extended periods of time with no contact with me then she would lie to me about why she hadn't called or made any contact. As it turns out,,,,I guess she wasn't herself,,, literally. I talked to a friend of mine who is working on her Masters in mental health so she is going to speak with some classmates who are doing their internship in a more clinical setting to see if she can get some info for me and for now I am going to do alott of research before I speak to her about it.

My biological mom has MPD and bi-polar and ADD.Sometimes she can HIDE it pretty good but honestly,coming from someone who grew up watching someone with the same problems as your girlfriend I would try to convince her to at least get help for her add.When my mom got treated for hers it was like night and day!!!It seemed to ease the other problems.But,thats just my advice.good luck

Thank you very much Brandi, I have two kids and the most important thing to me is that they live in a safe environment physically and mentally and if it was just me,,, i most likely would just see it as a challenge and go on but we have been planning on our lives together and honestly I truly don't know what to expect. Once I have more knowlegde, I am going to try and talk to her about it and go from there. What made your mom decide to get treatment for the ADD? By the way my name is Brandie too. lol

COOL!!!My biological mom got treatment because of her eratic behavior all through the years.It cost her,her son (my brother)he was 15.She could never properly take care of him and made very poor choices.Which eventually ended with his demise.After that I had no reason to stick around.I was gone and she had lost the rest of the family many years prior.Your kids come first and to be honest,there were many days my mom put on a smile in front of everyone and then the door closed and my brother and I were left to fend for each other.You never know which personality is there,what they are thinking or planning in theyre head.Its down right scary sometimes.Once she finally lost everything and had some alone time she found out she didnt like herself either.She scared herself!!LOL!!!So typical...Only then did she get help.Our relationship is okay,but I live very,very far away and I only let her see my children like once a year.Never alone.She still dosnt take her meds sometimes but I dont have to be around it.THANK GOD.Ask your kids what they think about her ,sometimes kids are scared to say anything because they think they will get in trouble.GOTTA GO,hubbys yellin' at me......good luck

Thank You so much,,, she moved to las vegas a while back ago while we were broke up and is still there so luckily I still have time to figure it all out and then decide if I really want her to move back with me. The more I learn the more I think it may come down to treatment or not being with me. I love her with all my heart but I never want my kids to live in fear. I did that growing as well with my grandfather who had many psychological issues of his own and I always swore no matter what,,, they would never come near the hell I did. It just kind of kills me because I do love her and it isn't her fault that she has these problems. I just hope that she will decide that being a part of our lives is important enough to get the help she needs. Thanks again, you have helped me with this more than you know.

how old are your kids draven?

i'm glad brandi was able to share with you from her own experience.

i'm constantly amazed at how often we get the answers we really need to hear when we finally figure out what the question is ... ;)

i'm glad to know you're putting your kids needs ahead of your needs or your girlfriend's needs. i bet you're a great mom!

take care,

w.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!Your awsome!!!I love how much you care for your children.Im glad that you have time to think about things.I think that this is something that the two of you should really delve deeply into.Good luck to you Draven,feel free to mail me okay.....

My son, Ezra, is 7 and my daughter, Joslyn, is 8 and they are pretty wonderful. Thank you both very much. Tell you what is funny, she promised me Friday that she would deffinatly call me Saturday or be online cause she didn't have anywhere to go. Well once again, she never called or came online not even in the middle of the night to leave a message that she was ok. My guess is it will be another few days to a week before I hear from her. I told her Friday that she drives me nuts when she does that. Do they have internet in the state instatutions? lol just kidding

You are all wonderful
Thank you

You tricked me!!!!LOL!!!!My eyes got as big a silver dollars!!!LOL!!!!Thats typical,the not calling thing.Thats a good sign there...hmmmmmmmm.

lmao your so goofy lol,,,,,, well you never know,,,, she does drive me crazy. I wish she would call so i know she is ok but if she is not herself then yes it is a good thing. I think when we talk I am going to go ahead and let her know what is on my mind. Sad thing is she is determined that she can handle anything on her own and I believe this will be no differant. I will end up single again lol I really hate that.

Thank You so much,,, she moved to las vegas a while back ago while we were broke up and is still there so luckily I still have time to figure it all out and then decide if I really want her to move back with me. The more I learn the more I think it may come down to treatment or not being with me. I love her with all my heart but I never want my kids to live in fear. I did that growing as well with my grandfather who had many psychological issues of his own and I always swore no matter what,,, they would never come near the hell I did. It just kind of kills me because I do love her and it isn't her fault that she has these problems. I just hope that she will decide that being a part of our lives is important enough to get the help she needs. Thanks again, you have helped me with this more than you know.
Draven, you're in a tough place especially with having your kids to consider. I'm glad you've commited to being sure they never have to endure the hell you did. It's not your girlfriend's fault that she has these problems, but they are very serious psychological problems and it is her responsibility to get the appropriate medical help she needs to deal with them. Please don't underestimate how much havoc these conditions untreated can cause. You and your kids deserve stability and safety in your relationships. It sounds like she's in denial about the seriousness of her problem. As a mental health professional it has not been my experience that these problems do well when they are not treated -- they're challenging enough to deal with with the best of treatment. I hope things work out for the best for you and your kids.

Scattered

Scattered is right.I fully agreeYou can find someone who dosnt have all these problems that will drive you crazy.LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

lol, tis true Brandi, thank you very much Scattered. I talked to her last night but she was in a really bad mood and had a pretty bad attitude. I decided to wait till she was in a better mood to talk to her about treatment. She would not have heard me last night. That conversation didn't last too long anyway thanks to my daughter who had a tummy ache. She said she would call tonight and we can talk but I won't hold my breath. She lost her job so she said she has been job hunting and that is why she had not called and why she was in a bad mood. I told her it was Sunday and not many people go job hunting on Sunday or Saturday for that matter and if they do they are not out looking until late at night. She said las vegas is a 24 hour city so maybe she was. Who knows? I have alot of supportive people in my life at this moment that I work with and they all tell me the same thing,,,, that if she cannot get treated that it is a dangerous situation to put my kids in. Hopefully she will surprise me and get treatment but somehow I doubt it. And I am going to be OK with that. My life will go on if needed without her. Besides I am too wonderful to not share with the rest of the world lmao. Just kidding,,,, Got to laugh

Well I picked tonight to talk to EJ about why she refuses to get help for her problems and she says she did and nothing worked it either made her sleep for hours or made her violent and that she could never trust the Dr. or therapist and there was no way in hell she will ever go back to one for any reason. I explained my side of it and she got very angry and defensive and told me I lied when I said I was not scared off. I told her if it was just me then I would be up for the challenge but I have to think about my kids first and she agreed that they should always come first and that she understood that but that she has been manageing life just fine for several years. So I asked her how was I supposed to explain to my child why you are differant sometimes and why you are 6 and then 16 and then 35. She got real quit and angry. I told her that in 5 years I don't really even know her because she refuses to talk to me about what is really going on and how these things really affect her. She agreed to tell me everything when we talk again. I don't know what to do,,, damn it I love her but I know I am gonna have to let her go and that is ripping my heart out.

You do what your gut tells you.You have to be able to trust her Draven.Life is too short for a whole lot of drama from someone else.You know we all have enough for our own plate!!LOL!!!Im thinking of you and I hope you will feel at ease soon...

I'm sorry you're hurting -- I know what it's like to have your heart breaking. I'm just afraid that staying with someone with these problems who isn't getting help will be just one continual heart break for you. Letting go now, while very painful will allow your heart to heal and other better things to enter your world.

Scattered

Your right Brandi,, I do have to trust her and I do not and i truly believe that trust and communication is key to a healthy relationship and we hardly have either.

Scattered,,, you are right and I think that over the past 5 years with her we have both been breaking eachothers hearts repeatedly and maybe it is time to stop.

Thank you both

Well she called me last night and really opened up about everything which was a first. She told me in detail about Ace -6 , Danni -17, another one who's name I can't remember - 22, Julie- 24, Rocky- 35 Trevor-19 and then another I can't remembers name who is 28. She described to me their purpose, favorite colors, activities and triggers. They all seem very meek with the exception of Rocky who is a protecter. Even with him, she described him as a teddy bear. She said that she is so in touch with her other idententies that most people can't even tell when she switches. Trevor and the 28 year old hardly ever come out and they really serve no purpose. Maybe she isn't that bad. Her ex had two kids and I asked what was the worst thing about having these personailities around the kids. She said that it was when she was around the youngest Ace would want to come out and play so when it came to the girlfriend she would have to treat her as a child instead of a girlfriend. Also when she was around the teenager, sometimes Danni would come out and want to hang out. I act differantly around differant age groups depending on my company and it kind of sounds like this is what she does, just to a differant level. I described to her my worst incident woth someone who had Bi-Polor and she told me that that was how she was on meds. She brought up a good point and that was that in 5 years,,, I never knew so if it was that bad could she have hid it for 5 years from me. She told me that if I want, she will let me openly get to know these other identities which is something she didn't want before but she feels that if I interact with them,,, then I will see that she really is safe. I told her that I would get to know them. I didn't know that a person with MPD could interact this way with their identities so I guess if nothing else,, this is a learning experience. She was so understanding last night of my worries where as when I first brought it up she was really angry. She said she needed to think about what I said and then react but I kept pushing her to open up then and that was why she was angry. I know I get pushy sometimes but that is because I am not very patient and I need to know now which is something I need to work on. I figure I have at least 6 months to get to know what I am walking into and make a choice but for now,,, I am going to get to know the othersides of EJ. I started laughing last night on the phone because I thought about how many people (myself included) need variety in their sex life to stay interested. Well talk about variety lol. With the exception of Danni and Ace, I have 5 other people besides EJ to add variety. lmao and I never have to worry about cheating on her lol. So we will see what happens.

At least hers are nice!!!LOL!!!!My biological moms werent!Only you know how you feel and if you trust her.Just keep a eye open and good communication with your children when and if she does come to stay...Good luck with that Draven.