...anal retentive?

I have and I've figured out why.

In my attempts to regulate my life, keep the ADHD under control, I've become a creature of habit...having to have everything "just so" so I can function.

My mother refers to it as being uptight and anal retentive. I blame it on my Baptist upbringing!!! (Sorry)

Do others of you have your life scheduled out, either written down or just mentally? I follow nearly the same procedure every day of my life. If I don't, or allow a distraction to...er...distract me...I'll forget to put my deodorant on! :faint:

Just curious...

Eric

I envy you and your anal retentiveness. I wish I could get myself together like that. I actually keep deoderant in my desk drawer, at work, in case i forget,,, right next to the extra tooth brush and tooth paste lol

you know that is cool that you can do that because it takes an awful lot of focus to stay on any kind of schedule for me. I try it all the time and after the first thing on my list of things to do, i find something i forgot to add and then i have to redo the whole list and that continues to happen till it is too late to do anything so I come and talk to you guys. And the schedule is found a week later mixed in with the dirty clothes next to last weeks clean clothes that never got put away because I was re-editing my schedule. lol

Ha! List of things to do! That's a killer. I always write down what I have to do when I have more than 3 errands to run and I wind up doing them out of order or something else diverts my attention (Hey...I found a Quizno's coupon..cool...is it lunch yet??) and I wind up either missing something on the list or missing putting something on the list.

So yeah...it ain't a perfect system but it gets me out of bed in the morning, showered, shaved and dressed for work!

Eric

I have OCD and ADD, so some people see me as a perfectionist, and others see me as a slob.

I have choosen a job driving truck that hauls "Hazzardous Material" for the main reason that

the rules must be followed to a T

the eyes of the world are watching, at least the DOT who police the highways and big trucks are watching very closely the actions of "Hazardous Materials Tankers" so there fore

I have choosen a company that has a procedure in place for just about everything and they must be followed................

...anal retentive?

I have and I've figured out why.

In my attempts to regulate my life, keep the ADHD under control, I've become a creature of habit...having to have everything "just so" so I can function.
Yep, that's me. Everything has it's place and a process to go along with it. I feel the same way you do and have explained it to my doctor, who agrees.

One quick question.....

Do you know where your keys are right now? :D Let me guess, the same place you've put them for years. Mine are on top of the microwave by the back door.

LOL....

My keys are in one of three places...

In the ignition.

In my left front pocket (never the right front pocket, that's for my pocket knife and change!)

Or on my dresser....next to my wallet, watch and the aforementioned pocket knife and change!

Why change something that has worked since I was 16???


Eric

It is always important for me to know what comes next. The preditabiltiy of the day gives me comfort. To know that i have a plan and have followed through allows me to feel somewhat more productive and prevents me from spiralling into chaos. When that happens a pervasive feeling of boredom and depression take hold. Not good for my mental status:(



so I am usually following a fairly simple and straight foward list. A change in my life, for example, can temporarily set my off---as now since i have moved. When that happens, I just take it more slowly and give myself some time to adjust. ;)

lazy, spoiled, half-assed, crazy.... anything but anal.

LOL....

My keys are in one of three places...

In the ignition.

In my left front pocket (never the right front pocket, that's for my pocket knife and change!)

Or on my dresser....next to my wallet, watch and the aforementioned pocket knife and change!

Why change something that has worked since I was 16???


Eric


I'm not anal about where I place my keys inside my apartment, but I am extremely strict about taking my keys out of my vehicle everytime I leave and locking the doors with the entry remote (so I am required to have the keys in my hand in order to lock the doors).

I am extremely anal about many things, from grammar/punctuation/capitalization to documenting what needs to be done (mostly while at work). I am very quick to spot inefficiency and I try my best to mediate it, even if it requires structure.

In my attempts to regulate my life, keep the ADHD under control, I've become a creature of habit

I do this with some things like my morning routine and my bed time readyness. It has a predictable pattern so I get my deoderant and my pants on before I go out the door (the right places helps).
:D


However I would never want my entire day to be predicitable....That would bore me to death......I don't mind structure or protocal, polcies and procedures those help me know what's approatiate and expected. Routine day in and day out.......no way no how...not me!!!!! :eyebrow: :faint:



am extremely anal about many things, from grammar/punctuation/capitalization

You should skip my post.... I couldn't spell my way out of a sack. It takes two spell checkers and a huge amount time to do this. I would love to be able to smell well that and spell!!!

Believe it or not I am detail orientated in many things like documentation at work.

NEVER in my life have I been accused of that.
It would actually be a good thing for me to have some military training.

I wish you could come and oraganize my pantry for me and remind me to shut my cabinet doors..

~gourmet~

LOL!!!! I am far from organized and I married a perfectionist. How does he put up w/ me. My life has fallen more apart since I lost my job 2yrs ago and had to stay home. My routine is gone cause I can't get myself to realize even though I don't have a set time I still have to get off my butt and get some stuff done. I can never stick w/ notes and stuff. Am trying a new idea. Ussing a caendar on my pc that pops up alarms for times and tasks and times I scheduled. Today is 1st and not doing to well. LOL!!! I tell myslef it is cause I didn't get out of bed as early so now it is all out of schedule. Oh well over time I am hoping this will help me out once I get it all scheduled. As far as my car keys. They are in a compartment on the ceiling of my car above my mirror. Cause if I leave them in the ignition my youngest will try and start the car LOL!!! He is most likely ADHD,...the lil energizer bunny.

...anal retentive?

I have and I've figured out why.

In my attempts to regulate my life, keep the ADHD under control, I've become a creature of habit...having to have everything "just so" so I can function.

My mother refers to it as being uptight and anal retentive. I blame it on my Baptist upbringing!!! (Sorry)

Do others of you have your life scheduled out, either written down or just mentally? I follow nearly the same procedure every day of my life. If I don't, or allow a distraction to...er...distract me...I'll forget to put my deodorant on! :faint:

Just curious...

Eric
Its funny you should ask that because I just learnt about my ADD about 2 weeks ago and realised that probably the only way I will be able to keep on top of everything I have to do/everything I own etc. Eg If you have it, Use it ! and don't put it away in a cupboard somewhere and forget to use it, thus making a mess of what its actually intended for. Eg, I have money containers, one with slots for each coin and forget to use it so have coins all over the floor or something.

So I decided that what I need to do is to go round each room in the house that I use and list obsessively every object that I use. I actually happened to start typing it all up onto a spreadsheet workbook just an hour ago. What I'm going to do is make a kind of database of all this stuff, so that I can keep track of everything. As long as I stick to using this database, I can't see how I can fail to keep everything in check, as then only laziness can get in the way. I'm even thinking of adding usage instructions on some of the items, eg recipes or washing machine instructions, even instructions on how to use some of the features of my mobile phone, as I'm so disorganised that I've never even worked out how to add my own answer message and I gave up on trying to use my electronic personal organiser which is so difficult to master that it defeats the purpose. I'll have to consult some people on how to use some of these items of machinery, as I have no idea in some cases and need to learn.

I SO envy you anal retentive types. I am such a slob, so disorganized and cannot on a bet balance my check book. Everytime I try to get a hold on my financial input/output (I even have calandars with bills due and the amount due every month) my mind just freezes. It's almost a scary feeling because I seem to have no control over it. When I try to organize my house...wow! I start out well and then just feel like someone drugged me or something, like I lose all will to proceed. I have bought so many home products designed to get me organized or at least maintain the clutter and they almost never get used. This only adds to the clutter.

At work I am incapable of documentation, which really is essential and I am always getting called on the carpet for it. I always vow to myself to improve, but no matter how hard I try, I just cant do it. My boss, of course thinks I am just trying to be difficult and "insubordinate", like she thinks I just dont care if I get in trouble. I do care and all that accomplishes is making me stressed out!!:confused: I keep making plans for the future to take baby steps to improve my functioning. I really believe that it will ...I will eventually be different, but nothing changes.
Though I understand my ADD, I cannot help but feel deep inside that it is just an excuse not to ever grow up or just to be lazy. I feel like a fraud when I make big plans to give my son everything that he deserves. I want to give him everything, but if I cant change myself, that wont be much.

Can you teach me how to be anal???

I have OCD and ADD, so some people see me as a perfectionist, and others see me as a slob.

If you look in my car you'll see the ADD if you look in my room you'll see the OCD if you look at me and my child and the way we act you'll see the OCD... :) hehe

If you look at how i have to have my purse you'll see the OCD or the way I clean...yup....I have the mix right here!! :D

My keys thats a totally different story...depends on my day...brain fried day; they are in the front door till i leave the house in the AM (has happend a TON) or till I go out at night...or till someone knocks on the door to tell me my keys are sitting there

On the dresser with my cell phone and glasses...all lined up...(stress need order to my life day...happens A LOT)

In my purse where they belong...in the right pocket...(good brain day)

Lostdog, you aren't "anal". You're "militarily correct"! It hurts when family members (ESPECIALLY one's mother,) calls you names when you know you are doing what is best for you. "Mess" rhymes with "Stress" and I can't function at work unless everything is just so. My home gets messy and cluttered, but I clean it up once a week (which takes a lot of time), but I feel so much better. I can't come home from work and start working. I have to have down-time and things pile up. What I hate the most is "What do I do with this mail that I want to look at later but not now?" So it piles up. I end up with a lot of piles but they are organized piles:) Eventually they get cleaned up. As I get older I worry less and less about what other people think, accept that my habits work best for me, and the heck with what everyone else thinks - they wouldn't want me telling them how to live, so there:)

LOL...Military Correct! I like it....I think I'll use it next time she drops the anal bomb on me!

"I end up with a lot of piles but they are organized piles."

Yup...we got's lots of piles around here. About once a fortnight I'll go through them and weed them out. Usually the stuff I saved for later I look at and try to remember why I saved it in the first place?? Or the date I was supposed to act on has come and gone because the paper was on the bottom of one of the piles.

Does anyone else file chronologically? All my personal files are chronological. Not by subject matter or relevance but by date. I know exactly where something is simply by opening a file and seeing where on the calendar I've landed. Works for me...drives my wife nuts!

Eric

I only wish I could be "retentive" enough to remember what I have to be retentive about. I have been called: lazy, forgetful and pathetic. None of which I take seriously.

"I end up with a lot of piles but they are organized piles."


Gary does the pile thing...especially the coffee table has all these plies of????? He knows what is in the piles un less one of the piles gets knocked over and I pick it up and just re-stack it.

When the piles are to tall to remain on the coffee table they end up on the floor he goes through them and piles the ones he wants to keep in a "boxed pile" in our front room. The very nature of piles makes the piles cronological!!!!!! The most recient stuff on top.

I'll stick with my verticle file folder according to subject/ catagory much faster when it comes to locating documents...takes up less room and less likly to get accidently knocked over!!!!!!

lostdog65 Good thread. :)
It's like you just can't win.
I get those remarks from neighbors who stop by.
But the thing is they don't understand.
Being organized is not a choice for me.
It's something I have to do so I can function everyday.

My next door neighbor without fail every time she stops by.
Says Oh I hate you your house is so neat.
But the funny part is half the time she stops by is to get her spare house key.
She locks herself out a lot.
And I'm the one with her spare key.
Also the person who knows right where that spare key is kept. LOL

My mom always says I just dont want to.YEA RIGHT!!!!! Sure I love to live in a pile of paper and folded laundry and things I feel the need to keep but have no place for them.No,really I love the fact it takes me 3 hours to wash my face and brush my teeth!!!LOL! I love how my husband gets mad at me and says I dont care!!!LOL!!!Im being very sarcastic,in a nice way though.I dont expect them to understand.They cant.They dont have it.I do.So I just get through it the best I can because I know that I can.I can do these things it just takes alot of effort and time.Ive got all the time in the world.LOL!!!!

My mom always says I just dont want to.YEA RIGHT!!!!! Sure I love to live in a pile of paper and folded laundry and things I feel the need to keep but have no place for them.No,really I love the fact it takes me 3 hours to wash my face and brush my teeth!!!LOL! I love how my husband gets mad at me and says I dont care!!!LOL!!!Im being very sarcastic,in a nice way though.I dont expect them to understand.They cant.They dont have it.I do.So I just get through it the best I can because I know that I can.I can do these things it just takes alot of effort and time.Ive got all the time in the world.LOL!!!!Wow, this sounds just like me! Amazingly enough there were times in the past where I was anal retentive -- I actually like myself that way quite a bit -- I function much better in an obsessively organized environment. When I was single and lived alone, my spices and cans had to be perfectly lined up and sorted by category, my drawers and closets were done the same way (even my sock drawer!). I used to line up name tags at workshops that I went to in straight little lines (sounds a little obsessive compulsive I know). Even back then though, I never managed to get my laundry washed and put away promptly or keep up with my paperwork.

These days :eek: living with three other folks with AD/HD (husband and two kids). I'm a total disaster area (that would also describe our home)! I can be totally neat or I give up. Once things are out of place, I don't know where to start and just stand around staring at them. My executive functions are highly compromised in the sorting, prioritizing, and finding a place for things category. If it doesn't have a place I use every time, I'm at a loss. Enjoy your anal retentativeness -- it's a great coping adaptation for an ADDer!

Scattered

I know,my hubby wanted me to come to bed last night and I told him I have to get my ducks in line cuz my body cant relax if I still have to get up after you fall asleep and make sippies and clear the floor so no one kills themselves since my daughters get up every 2 or 3 hours!!!LOL!!!Its just one long day with naps in between for me.At least the weekend is here so my hubby to the rescue!!!!!!

It's something I have to do so I can function everyday.
That's the crux. The up-side is like stori said, you become dependable because you got your ****e straight!! My wife laughs that within one day of moving (we've moved a lot!), I can get both cars in the garage and everything is just about in it's place. Why? So I can function "normally".

The down-side comes when, after holding on so tight, your grip slips and the world unravels. Your ADHD, even momentarily, takes over and you find yourself spinning out of control, your mind screaming, "GET IT BACK! GET IT BACK YOU FOOL!", watching as all of your hard work comes crashing down around your head. Then it's time to pick up the pieces and start all over again which is a blessing in disguise. You're doing something which keeps your mind occupied and your ADHD is sated for a while.

There's good and bad to this ADHD stuff. We're not broken, we just use our skills a little differently than others!

Eric

In the words of many, I'm not anal retentive so much as I'm a "HATER" in the true sense of the word. My opinionativeness is well renowned and at times, quite annoying. It's not a dislike of everything so much as an extremely refined taste that doesn't allow for lower standards if possible.

I don't think I've been called that but I could. I like to have things the way i like them. pants folded a certain way....cd's/videos/ comp games alphabetized so I can find what I want. It drives me crazy if someone does something I would do a different way. I know most of the time they are just trying to help...but GRRRR!!!

I totally relate to what you mean, but not in the sense of being organized/slob. I need things just so when I am not taking Adderall. I'm much more pushy with getting things my way. I look at other people and see that they just live with the small things not going their way, but for me I am uncomfortable when I dont have something as small as "the window open". When I use Adderall however, things that small don't seem to matter. I don't have to shift around in my chair as much when I take it.

Hope this helps

My piles are building!!! I have huge piles of intricate pieces of memories.I am amazed how they dont fall,unless one of the kids whisks by and down it all goes!!!Then I freak!!!LOL!!!NOt the bad freak like I do but I do get upset.I have to start all over again.LOL!!!!I think Im going to empower myself today and take a garbage bag through the house and let it rip!!!!!!

It drives me crazy if someone does something I would do a different way. I know most of the time they are just trying to help...but GRRRR!!!


Man do you "take over" for "educational prepiouses"????

I live with one of those!!!!! GRRrrrr is right That is why "areas" work so well for us.He can have his space his way and I can have my space my way. Keeps us both alive!!!!!!!

I've been called alot of things but never "Uptight" or "Anal retentive". (Atleast not that I am aware of.)

I am the exact opposite. I live on the edge and in the moment. My house is a clutter zone, especially the kitchen table, but this was inherited from my mom. :)

At work I am alot more organized. I give the perception that I have it all together. I work in the Systems Department and I have to always remain calm even when the place is going to **** in a basket.

My son was diagnosed with adhd/ocd/mood disorder and has been medicated since he was 3. This daily challenge has taught me to "not sweat the small stuff".

How does a person with ADD become anal retentive even for a moment??? Medication? Diet? I just wish I could be anal for 1 entire day and get my house in order!!!

Jenjor being organized and ADD is not an overnight thing.
It takes time to get to that point.
One step at a time and making things a habit.
Is how it worked for me.
And it took me a year to do it.

Im willing to work for it! Where do I start?? Iunderstand, baby steps ....but what babysteps???

Jenjor....

Being called anal retentive is the end result of me trying to fit into this world. I have certain ways I do things, from getting up in the morning, to driving to work, to how I make my sandwiches and the way I mow the lawn. These are, for lack of better words, defense mechanisms. Defense mechanisms in the sense I'm defending myself against myself. I have to be anal retentive at times just so's I stay on track. After many years of doing the same routine, well, I've become a bit retentive...at least according to my mother!

Eric

Jenjor....

Being called anal retentive is the end result of me trying to fit into this world. I have certain ways I do things, from getting up in the morning, to driving to work, to how I make my sandwiches and the way I mow the lawn. These are, for lack of better words, defense mechanisms. Defense mechanisms in the sense I'm defending myself against myself. I have to be anal retentive at times just so's I stay on track. After many years of doing the same routine, well, I've become a bit retentive...at least according to my mother!

Eric
Second. I "resemble" this comment 100%. :D

lostdog65 Thanks for the new expression (defense mechanisms) I like that.:)

Jenjor Being willing to "work for it" is the first step and you've already done that.
I'm not going to kid you it was and is a lot of work.
One of the best places to start is by picking the one thing that drives you nuts.
And just stick with fixing that until it's a habit.
After something becomes a habit move on to the next thing.
If you have room's in your home that need to be better organized.
Pick one room at a time. Divide it into four sections. Work in one section of the room at a time to get it the way you want it.
Once you have the whole room organized and the way you really want it.
Then comes the harder part. Learning to keep it that way making things a habit.
Also doing things when you are thinking about them instead of putting them off is a great help.
Once you get yourself into the habit of doing these things it all becomes natural to you and easy.
I hope this is helpful to you.
And remember it took me a year so be willing to give yourself the time needed to make these changes that will help you.

lostdog65 Thanks for the new expression (defense mechanisms) I like that
Yeah...that line, defense mechanisms, jumped out at me from my High School Psych classes when I was trying to figure out why I do the things the way I do them. I realized that I was defending myself against distractions that would have me half dressed, half shaved, brushing my teeth with hand lotion and rubbing toothpaste into my hair!!

And Jenjor...I'm 40. I've been working on my defense mechanisms/anal retentiveness for a loooong time...I can remember back to Jr. and Sr. High having to have my life ordered a certain way. It takes time and can be frustrating but hang in there...

Eric

Thank you very much for all your advice. It all makes a lot of sense to me. I'm hoping that, once I get my meds where they need to be (for depression as well as ADD,) I will feel a little more motivated and a little less "fractured."

..anal retentative...never.....a slob, never. but like everything in my life...I have no middle gear, it's extreme one way or the other. Every three months I go through all my clothes sort by style and color, starting with black and ending with white...replace all my shoe laces, hang my ties by the suits they match....but give me a week and everything is strewn everywhere.....only my car stays clean and orginized.....always has....but my car is my sense of motion, I'm extremely orginized in cleaning and servicing my car....always.....that's weird.....i just realized this now as I'm typing.....it is the only thing i do consistantly.....even my cd's in the car are orginized....which is strange cuz I do not label the cd's i burn and listen to at home....it's a surprise everytime i put one in....but not in the car, labeled and alphabetically sorted. but my car is my world....I have to do things other people's way at work, my house is my wife's more or less....the car is my world.....it's where I go when i need to get away, run an errand on the far side of town....sorry for rambling folks, I just had a moment........................i never realized this before I wrote it just now....

Krillz...

I have to laugh, not AT you but with you. I, too, label just about everything and put it in alphabetical or chronological order! My belts are hung in the order of how often I wear them. My ties are hung in the order I received them. My clothes got from jeans to khakis to kilt to short sleeve shirts to long sleeve shirts to flannel shirts to jacket to misc. (Yes...I own a man-skirt. www.utilikilts.com) My CD's are totally in alphabetical AND, within the artists/bands/groups, sorted chronologically. The only place my CD's are mixed up is in the car, just the opposite of you....go figure!

I also like what you said about no middle gear. I either lug along in high gear trying to slow down or wring 1st gear out until it's screaming waiting to get going.

Thanks for the new ways to express how our world sometimes works!

Eric

lostdog, many people i speak to are opposite of me, their home becomes their fortress in the world, a place they can get everything together. ADD seems to be such a broad umbrella, it's amazing the variety you can find. Im still working with my doc to see what else i have complicating my ADD. I am extremely stimuli oriented. that was his first clue it wasn't depression alone bothering me. I need new things, always, always, constantly...thats why i love my car, it's my chariot to carry me to the mall, to the pawn shops, through the ghettos, to a secluded moutainside. i feel where i have gone with my car defines who i am.

krillz...

Ever heard of Gary Numan? His song, "In Cars" suits you to a "T"! I understand your feeling about your car. I've had friends who tell me a car is just simple transportation. No, no, no! It's much more than that. It is a vessel in which I can make my escape from the mundane and ordinariness life tries to impose on me. It is "my chariot", as you called it, as well. Which is probably why I take care of my truck more than the wife's minivan!!

Eric

i guess i'm kinda anal. (except with typing-skills!) but i find i'm better able to cope with day-to-day living when i have a defanite structure -- a rule to follow, expectations to be met, and stuff like that. i've been treated for adhd since i was in grade-school, but i also got diagnosed later on for having ocd. i'm a checker.

if i dont keep everything real neat it becomes a total mess.

yall have a great day. i enjoy reading your stuff.

I've just recently been told that I had obsessive compulsive tendencies..blow me down..Me..the person who went her entire life, winging it...My Doc stated this because I also, have to have everything in its place..so I can find the 'stuff' later...if it gets moved, I will have no clue as to how to begin to look for it...I recently put my keys, in my suit pocket, for the first time ever, instead of my purse, as I've been doing my entire life. It took me 45 minutes, frantically searching my purse, and freaking out, until I felt them, brush up against my wrist, through my pocket..
Anal retentive..obsessive compulsive..a rose is still a rose..LOL!
I have to laugh whenever I see others searching for something they need, whether it's a pen they misplaced, their cell phone, etc...I totally understand !
Nova

I recently put my keys, in my suit pocket, for the first time ever, instead of my purse, as I've been doing my entire life.

I buy purses with leather loops, my keys live on a large hook. I unhook keys to use and the minute keys come out of ignition the get hooked back on loop on purse. I have to have a loop so I instantly find keys if I have an OCD cell in my body it is about the placement of keys. If I put them any where else I too go right off the deep end!!!!!!!