Can anyone relate?...

I have had depression for 15 years and have been on all different meds. Never happy but not depressed just numb. Finally after the diagnosis of ADD and Adderall I am so different. I believe after reading "Driven to Distraction" that I am one of those whose depression was due to my ADD going untreated.

The problem is that I don't know who I like better. Now I can focus, be attentive, more controlled, less impulsive and getting my foot in my mouth, Less stress about things out of my control (overdue bills, what if I loose my job etc.). On the flip side I miss my spontious side and inner strength to take risks, get focused but sucked into things and feel overwhelmed that I have so much to do, less social since I think more about how or what to say and realize I do need to worry about things such as bills and keeping the electricity on. How do I choose who to be? Does anyone else feel as if the meds "fix" certain problems but that you loose some of the unique you? Thanks, Jacaboon

Jacaboon, how long has it been since you've been diagnosed and medicated?

I was diagnosed with my depression, aniety and ADD 15 years ago. At the time I tried Ritalin but hated it. Now that I am a divorced, full time working mom of 3 my same psy. had me go through the testing again. I felt as if the test was written about me and was told that I had so much more on my plate now that it may be time to treat the ADD since antidepressants wern't working too well. I have been on Adderall for about 3 months ,I believe, and have done much research on the disorder. I was a psych major and still had that hyperactive child vision for ADD and my eyes were really opened. I guess it's similiar to dating someone new. Three months go by and the fogged glassed come off allowing you to see minor flaws. Now it's time to decide if I want to be (be with) this person for the rest of my life. On and off meds I am a person with flaws but they differ. I can't decide which ones are better and wonder if it's just due to the fact that I need more time to adjust to my new self after 32 years and give it a longer test ride. Sorry I'm confused. Thanks for your reply, Jacaboon

me I should have titled my thread. Medicated me or unmedicated?:confused: