View Full Version : one of my ADD depressed days


ilangocal
09-01-05, 04:10 AM
I aget up in the morning with great difficulty. If I took Ambien the previous night, I manage to get up earlier. Then like today, I get up on an empty stomach and grappled with ways to get our rental mess.My roomie walked away , etc and now I am in tight spot. That night, I went to Enloe Behavioural health. I broke down badly during counselling and then they suggested I enter hospital which would cost me about 10000 bucks. I am a guy who livies below the poverty line and so this was a no no..

I managed to resolve some issues and got rommie too to sign up on the 30 day notice paper. So I am safe in a way i guess.

Later In the afternoon I went looking for a thai restaurant and not finding one, i entered a chinese restaraunt. Then I spent timebetween malls on the streets and the streets until i settled into the house..

I saw the movie called Cave..My mind was in turnmoil and it gave me some relief. Then my stomach kept knawing at my insides so much that I stopped watching the movie with interest. After a lot iof useless popcorn and money my stomach seemed to settle down.

finally i got back home by taxi. I found my friend John calling me out to speak. he went on and on and we finallu went to McD, and ordered 3 quarter pounder sandwiches. Little did i know that they were beef sandwiches and after a bite, i realizzed. I gave half of it to my friend, went over to Carl's junior and ordered a Fish;O"FIlet sandwish. We then got back home

The end of an ADDians day.

I started roaming the streets around 2.30 in the afty and got back home at 12.30am..

Once upon a time I used to cook and my stomach would not bug me. Today it bugs me every hour and this is killing me. Maybe some meds might help..

whatever

stanzen
09-01-05, 04:26 PM
Sounds like you're doing the right things Ilang; the legal work to keep your apt, taking a walk, therapy, posting.

I don't know how hosptialization would help you all that much, especially if it puts you into immediate debt-- another thing to fret over. You're still able to do things.

Antidepressants have helped me get through a bad spell and the generic ones are not expensive. But they take a month or so to work, and sometimes they don't.


Peace

ilangocal
09-01-05, 05:08 PM
thanks
actually my main problem is my huge dollar debt with credit which even if mentioned to people immediately elicits a "omigosh" kind of response. So i am frightened and terrified by that and so many other things.

Now I feel that I have to enter hospital some day. I am trying to get my insurance and trying to see if I can get a better job. ( it seems like for a ADD guy getting a job and sticking with it is not easy..)

For me the only ADD friendly job is java development, testing,etc..

anyways, i am ready to be homeless in 4 weeks from now..lol

seems to be a tight spot and a great recipe for the suicide mill inside my brain..

Homeless, Non-resident, F-1 Visa, so not eligible for even a month of refuge anywhere...looks like a very sweet and challenging situation for me..

If I do manage to get my drea jon this month i will happily go away to LA..and hopefully have the world under my feet..Hopefully..nothing is sure for a guy with ADD, depression, etc..

anyways, I decided to send a CHECK to do what I can for Katrina's victims ..

homeless or not, money or not, suicidal or not,i am gonna hang in there, and see what tomorrow has to offer, nothing, little,more or whatever..

DynamiteBritany
01-02-06, 02:39 PM
*The end of an ADDians day.
I started roaming the streets around 2.30 in the afty and got back home at 12.30am..*
I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that. I swear I can leave my house in the morning and get back at midnight just to realize that I have done absolutely nothing all day... my friends and family are always slightly amazed with my ability to spend 9 hours gone just roaming around. That whole thai resturaunt deal is annoying isn't it? I do that crap all the time and everyone seemes dumbfounded on how a person can get so lost or 'mixed' up everyday. mad props for going out of your way to help out the victims of Katrina... keep on haning in there and know that you're not alone in these daily struggles.
Brittany

Princess-of-Chaos
01-12-06, 11:30 AM
Hey, I feel with you. Nearly two years ago I was very close to the hospital as well. Didn't go there not because of money, but my parents:(
I know I felt overwhelmed, I did not trust myself anymore. When I looked in the mirror, I sometimes felt like my killer looked at me...

I really hope you feel better now and that your situation got better.

I think it is a good decision to go to the hospital.
Your life is so much more worth than the bill!
I really believe that every human has his/her own place in the world, and you'd be missing!

Maybe you can post how you feel now?


Take care,

Pia