Hey guyz, I just wondered what you all thought about ADD / Depression / other mental issues, being linked to spirituality. I've been pondering this because I have grown up with Christian beliefs but a few months ago, because of struggling for so long with depression / ADD, I kind of started looking into other spiritual practices. Well.... I started into some pretty deep conversations with a friend and I don't know really what happend, but I for the first time felt wonderful, but then did things that for me really were kind of crazy and it even led me to a diagnosis of having Bipolar. I for a while, felt as if I could do anything...ya know... conquer the world if need be (lol). This was so new to me because I had been depressed for so long.

I have heard different people say that all of our mental and physical issues are some how tied to our spirituality. I can see that as true in one way but I feel like that is what kind of failed me in the first place. I felt like I must not have been doing something right spiritually because I just could never live what I felt like should be "normal". I was always so behind, so slow, didn't do well in school, got married, always wanted to be a mom...but with each child I got more depressed and more ADD.

I am now actually taking a BP medication "Lamictal" and I do think that it is helping, but it still leaves me wondering how much of this is a spiritual battle. I wonder to if because of the ADD I for some reason OVER FOCUS on the spiritual stuff because it's like I am searching for an answer for all of this. All I know is that I've tried a couple different paths and got the same results which is also kinda confusing.

Okay, just had to remind myself to breathe in...breathe out....get off the computer....go have an oreo cookie and a glass of milk...CUZ "I like to eat the creamy middle like I did when I was little...O R E O.... lol

Something new makes me feel elated. I get "high" from learning something that makes some sense to me. With ADD I crave variety, with bipolar the newness shocks me out of depression, temporarily. I get manic with the liberation, especially if I see the error in my previous line of thinking or some of the points of it.

it's like I am searching for an answer for all of this. All I know is that I've tried a couple different paths and got the same results which is also kinda confusing.

Because the answer is not in someone else's beliefs, path, or teaching. The answer is not "out there". It's in you. This is your life.

Once I accepted this, my walk with G-d was like opening a door and having the whole universe before me.

I feel that any form of spirituality or meditation can effect your brain in the same way. With strong belief system comes strong faith in all things including yourself in my opinion.

[QUOTE=EYEFORGOT]Something new makes me feel elated. I get "high" from learning something that makes some sense to me. With ADD I crave variety, with bipolar the newness shocks me out of depression, temporarily. I get manic with the liberation, QUOTE]

I think that is kind of what happend with me. As I felt high, like I could do anything, I started attempting things like I could do anything and the crash came when I began to realize I wasn't able to follow through with all of these flighty ideas I was having. It was nice to be shocked out of the depression like that though, but really it ended up to be rather damaging.

Either way, as Futs mentioned, I think it does have a lot to do with faith, and that is where I seem to be falling short. I'm almost afraid to believe in much of anything right now. I'll get there at some point, I have to hope for that, but right now I just feel so empty and void. I wondered if it even has to do with this Lamictal I'm taking. It just seems to make things so dull, like I can't feel or experience love.

Thanks for the insight.

Hey sunnyside!

get the six CD set titled "how to get what you really, really, really, want" by Dr. Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra. It's a PHENOMENAL explanation of how we are all connected and how anyone can connect with spirit/God/Universe at whatever level they want and determine, ask, and receive what they really want.

There are many days when I am literally at my wits end and all of my reasoning and logic fails to help me see that I should keep on living and that it's worth it.
In those times I do what I have learned from these CD's and without fail the world around me changes into a better less chaotic place and then become easier and I get what I ask for.
It is SO powerful to be in that place! I guess what I really need to ask for is to remember to do that thing EVERY day so I can stay in a world that really works for me instead of seemingly against me! :cool:

OH YEAH: I checked the CD's out of the local library.

searching ....

i find myself, every so often, asking 'why?"

then i wonder who i'm asking ... does anyone have that answer?

i find it easier to let go of that question. to realise that there isn't an answer. to learn to be o.k. with what is ... and let go of the rest.

i still struggle with trying to make sense out of chaos. but, i'm learning, trying anyway, to let go of trying to find order in the chaos.

that's been my journey.

i agree with chel though, everyone needs to find their own path.

good luck on yours. thanks for letting me be part of the journey.

w.

Ah the G-d of my no understanding... That's saved my **** on more than one occasion.
Hugs. Ian

Maybe, your just trying to understand God on everyone elses terms and not looking for your own path Ian, its been my experiance that no matter how many parishoners attend a sermon there will never be an agreement on what was said. Everyone finds their own path whether it be to God or a more personal relationship with their inner selves.

Its 600 in the morning here am I making any sense? lol

This does make sense accept for the fact, that so many different beliefs seem to all be entering our western society and it seems rather confusing. I guess it's like anything goes as long as it's what you believe. It seems like there has to be a "truth" out there. Sure we may all interpret it a little bit differently, but just to believe in anything, seems so broad and I think that is where my struggle is.

What I'm trying to say is that I already had my base beliefs if you will figured out.

I'm interested in all religions and faiths from the much restrained Mormon religion to the other end of the spectrum such as Atheism. Its all fascinating and lets face it nobody knows whether they are right or wrong until its too late to change anything anyways.

Religion, faith, hope, spirituality all go hand in hand. And each is beautiful, wonderful and mystical in their own right. I've tried many different religions in my life time and settled on a non-denomination church we all have the same base belief but from their our beliefs differ and its nice to be able to discuss and hear other views.

If we were meant to follow blindly God would not have given us free will. If he gives us the ability to choose our own paths then why would he want us to believe what ONE human being tells us without question?

Its my belief that all or most religions have a middle ground. There is a higher power, we are forgiven should we ask, treat our brothers/sisters as we would want to be treated ourselves.

Find your base beliefs and finding a place to whorship will be easier, don't conform to the popular but go with your own heart.

I think the spiritual part of the component is very important in dealing with ADD/depression/anxiety, etc. A friend recently described a useful model he'd been taught that had four point supporting mental health. Our connection to our environment, our connection other people, our connection to ourself, and our connection to God. When any of these is weakened all are impacted with the opposite being true as well. I see it more as one of those old milking stools, you can make it work for a while on one, two or three legs, but four really adds stability. I think spirituality if the leg that often gets left off in discussion of mental health.

For me spirituality is about relationship. The support, boundaries, love, acceptance and forgiveness I find in my relationship with God makes everything else more balanced in my life. Without that I tend to start turning into a naval gazer and getting lost inside myself, lose my balance and weaken my connection with others and my outside world. A higher purpose and relationship helps pull me outside of myself. It's pretty late, so I don't know if any of this is making any sense -- but the impact on my life is very real.

The Truth is unconditional Love for yourself. Once a person finds unconditional Love the Tree of Life appears in the mind and all answers are available to all questions. The Tree of Life is interpreted using symbols by different people, but you soon realize that all the symbols are in essence telling the same story. Unconditional love can only be found through innocence, which makes it nearly impossible to find it through fundamental religion, which is built on the false premise of man's innate worthlessness. The problem is self-rejection from laws or rules that lead you to judge yourself, and the solution is Truth, which is Love found through innocence. You cannot be happy if you judge yourself.

Just because you fell out of the Tree of Life doesn't mean you have to give up. The bright side is you proved it is possible to escape this Hell. You gained the gift of the Sword of Truth, and you will use it on your journey to cut through all the lies that are in the world. Your Sword will take you back to unconditional love where you will gain the gift of Wisdom. Wisdom, not books or teachers will take you the rest of the way. It takes a complete and total commitment, but you have what many don't. You have your experience. You know it is possible. You have the Sword. You know where you are going.

I send you Love as a gift for your journey home

The Way that can be spoken of is not the enduring and unchanging Way. The name that can be named is not the enduring and unchanging name.

Having no name, it is the originator of heaven and earth; having a name, it is the mother of all things.

We should rid ourselves of desires if we wish to observe its subtlety; we should allow our desires if we wish to see something of its manifestations.

-Lao Tzu: The Tao



Confused?


Fire in the lake,
Opportunity,
the image of Revolution.

lol my first thought after reading your post Stan was "which way did he go, which way did he go". I found that it made sense after a little dissection and concentration (amazing what a little pill can do isn't it?).

But, lets make sure I've got it right. Though I find this kind of quote just as individually interpretive as I do the Bible but I'll give it an honest wing for the sake of fun.

Ummmm ok read it again to make sure I had it and lost it. lmao Life is so fun

I basically get...Live your life purely, strive not for material wealth but spiritual wealth which you will only gain thru a communal with nature and those around you. Ummm yea I really blew that one out of the water.

You all have shared some cool stuff. Thanks for the comments. I definitely feel that those that search for God will find Him. He is obvious and everywhere. I guess it's also a Biblical issue for me because I do believe the Bible and the more I have dug into it the last several weeks, It points the way through Christ. And it is such an awesome blessing that we don't have to fear death or hell and that we are innocent through Christ. I know that Christ and God are one so maybe that's where the whole any personal view goes. I'm reading some matereials by an Author named Ravi Zacharias and he goes into some really intellectual studies of religions and Christianity.

It just seems so open to anything these days and I see a lot of it as great ways people are making money. I do know that God is a personal thing, Jesus tried to teach that over and over, living in us, and around us. I am not a judge, just studying the Bible more.
Abre

Once a person finds unconditional Love the Tree of Life appears in the mind and all answers are available to all questions. The Tree of Life is interpreted using symbols by different people
Yes, the tree of life is a wonderful thing but then if you have the tree of life, you have the tree of knowledge as well. How easy it is in this fallen world to allow the tree of life to get choked by the tree of knowledge.

& thanks for the gift, I'll apply it in my little life, the journey right now seems a little weary.

oksy it looks like the moderators of america got u covered girl take there advice they do know what they are talking about have fun and good luck.

It seems like there has to be a "truth" out there. Sure we may all interpret it a little bit differently, but just to believe in anything, seems so broad and I think that is where my struggle is.

i don't think there is *one* truth out there. each person's interpretation creates a whole new truth.

believing in just "anything" was a struggle for me too. what made sense for my parents didn't make sense for me. and i thought that the problem was me. that i didn't have enough faith.

finding my own truth, my *something* to believe in, that's my journey.

it is overwhelming trying to sort it all out.

ultimately, i am a seeker. i think i'm becoming o.k. with the notion that there isn't one answer, one truth.

Thanks for starting this thread. It's been fascinating to read and contemplate ... I'll be coming back here to re-read often. Ya'll have given me much to chew on.

grazing,

wheezie

Hey Sunny when my road seems to stretch ahead of me for miles and miles and I'm not sure I can handle another step. THATS when I hand it over and let my God take the burden...his will be done.

When I put full trust in God and hand my problems over to him instead of consistantly butting my head against the proverbial wall I quietly seem to find the answer I was seeking.

And keep in the back of your mind that the old saying is so true. Sometimes, the best prayers are those that go un-answered.

Cherity

Peace, I can feel it today. A peace that says I don't need to have all the asnwers or even ask any more questions, just a peace inside. I step aside from my journey and just accept everything the way it is right now. Ahhh, it's nice.

Or maybe it's just the new meds I have started lol. Either way I embrace it!

Love U Guyz

I know that peace. I relish and embrace it and when my mind and soul are healed I start the battle up again but its usually because the answer to the course I must follow has come to me. Embrace the peace and hopefully your options will make themselves more clear to you.

Love ya back
Cherity

I can relate to this post...
Recently I watched the movie the Secret , which explained that what ever we think and put out into the world we will attract back to our selves. The dvd explained how we have the ability to attract what ever we want in to lives as long as we have a mindset that we can do so. This really touched me and I have begun applying these methods in to my life. But I still find that I struggle with the same ADD problems that got me frusterated in the first place.

I guess I am confused about how ADD relates to all of this, I mean it is a brain condition that will never go away, correct???? How can these spiritual laws affect ADD, can they???

Is it possible to overcome the obstacles you suffer with by beginning to change your thinking and making intentions to become more focused and live a clearer life?
I guess what I am trying to say is howcan I incorprate these spirtual laws into my life and create the life of my dreams, with the ADD.

I've heard of people with breast cancer or rare diseases who have vizualized perfect health and became cured in a matter of months, could this apply to ADD? Is it possible to free yourself from the ADD symtoms, such as hyperfocus, spaciness, low efficency etc. by focusing on what you do want which is to be focused, be able to confidently and clearly respond and listen in conversations, and to have simplicity and clearity in your life????????

Yes, SG,

Anything is possible, if it's something that YOU truly *believe* in, without waiver.

I don't have to tell you that, though...
You already know this.

The only "spiritualist" I've ever encountered who struck me as 100% authentic is Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now changed my life. Well worth it to get it on CD, because the format is excellent, and he narrates it himself.

I have a very strong religious attachment to my ADD. By that I mean that I've pretty much avoided any anger that would have come with a diagnosis like ADD because of my religious base. That's not to say the anger isn't there because it is. My faith helps me to put it into perspective.

ADD isn't something to be 'cured.' Why would I want to cure the thing that bring so much awareness, sensitivity, and intelligence to my life? I do need to manage it however, so that's a big responsiblity.

I probably would have gotten angry about what I might consider to be the 'wasted' years of my life. And the possibilites that went with it. But I think everything that has happened to me, did so for a reason. And my ADD was revealed to me at the right time for me.

The problems you are having are NOT because you failed at being a Christian or b/c you were not the Christian you should be. The problem is a chemical imbalance in your brain. I went through that for so long, prayed every day and every night, before i found out what was really wrong. I have a wonderful life, a great husband, three beautiful, healthy children, a beautiful house. What do I have to be depressed about???? So I would pray, what am I doing wrong God, why am I like this? Am I being punished?

Then I had an appt scheduled with a psychiatrist but it was still a month off. But way before that, I got pushed to the end of my rope, I bottomed out. I had a regular dr's appt and she completely brushed me off and could offer me no help but taking more Zoloft (bad idea for bipolar as we know now). So I left her office crying harder than I have cried before. It was a long drive home but I screamed and I cried and I yelled at God the entire way home. I hadn't being praying for a miracle or to be fixed, only to have some guidance to find answers, why hadn't he helped me? Why did he give me these 3 great children knowing that I was a nut case, why would he put them through that? Why is he making them and my husband suffer with me? How could he let me ruin their lives? Why couldn't I just think happy thoughts and get over, just chose to be happy or just don't sweat the small stuff? After I got home, this rant went on to me husband and I was severly depressed allllllllllll night long, wanted to die. That was Fri.

Obviously, i was in a funk all w/e. Come monday, I gave a massage to a very close friend who is a very devote Christrian. I broke down and told her all that had happened that Friday. And do you know what she told me? She said wonderful! She said sometimes it takes being able to admit to God that you are angry with him, to get to a point where you can listen. Myself, I belief that if we ask for guidance and are willing to listen, God brings it to us in very subtle ways. But b/c I was afraid to admit that I was angry with God for making me this way, I couldn't listen. I got a call about two hours after talking with her that a cancellation had come up and I could get in to see the doctor. He diagnosed me with Bipolar II and now more recently ADD.

No by no means am I am saying that only Christian recover or get help anything of the sort. However, I felt like I was finally led to help and I realize it is a problem in MY brain, not because of anything I did. You don't have bipolar or add or cancer b/c you did something wrong or b/c you are the wrong religion. It's a medical condition that can be treated and unfortunately, it much harder to find and diagnose than cancer or heart disease.

Find the beliefs that you agree with, go with them, find a place where you feel love. That is a wonderful thing and can only help the process, but know that your choices are not causing this. Big hugs and apologies for the novel ;o)

Indeed the reason you are the way you are in NOT because you were somehow 'bad' or lacking.

For many years I did not believe I should cure my depression because I had been taught that "God made you just the way you are, you are a precious child of God, God doesn't make junk, God doesnt make mistakes, and blah-blah-blah.

Finally someone told me that God also made me "perfect', and that in the imperfect world (pesticides, depleated soil, toxic air, treated water, food additives, Genetically modified foods...) I had become physically imperfect. God wanted me whole again. WOW. eye opener. I had to go outside my religion to find this truth....not that my religion doesn't believe it, they just don't say it, or never said it in a way that I heard it.

So - I think there is one truth out there, but many ways of saying it and hearing it and living/expressing it. Religions are great, the Bible is great, but no ONE is the single answer. Each is a 'self-help' book/course, and none can ever completely answer all the needs of any individual.


This being said, in the persuit of trying to CURE my depression (instead of just getting through each episode) I found that a large part of my depression was due to beliefs I had about myself and the world since childhood. Once I was able to recognize or reprogram my beliefs, live my life more true to the person God created me to be (rather than who I THOUGHT I should be or who I thought my parents wanted me to be), the depression subsided amazingly. It finally has gone away completely now that I am on a modified food diet, interestingly, but that is another topic!

So, I do believe that spirituality can give you strength to get through, or it can hamper and control (not necessarily intentionally!!). Living the life true to your real self can free you from a lot of the constraints that cause inner turmoil and thus the chaos of your body. But I don't think, other than praying for a miracle of healing, that spirituality CAUSES or CURES the ADD, depression, etc. all on it's own.

Each is a 'self-help' book/course, and none can ever completely answer all the needs of anywell, nice saying.

but meds do help, in a strange way. And many on purely spiritual-like claims, say that meds are placebos/jokes. but, these have to realize that everybody is normal, and have connection somewhat to reality

so it's useful to say: use what works, til' it does not do it, and better have great reasons for it, 'specially when thinking, all of sudden meds do not work. Cuz' it may be having a good affect, and it may not actually be correct to let go of the meds yet, if ever.

belief system- is placebo. and all belief systems are BS, it's up to whatever to believe in it, and it's ok to believe in it. though, know, that stimulation is also placebo, but it does work for now.

up there: that is the whole freedom of impermenance, so listen up. It is the property of impermeneance w/an actual example of application, which is valid and sincere.

sometimes, all it needs is a sugar pill, sometimes, all it needs in some MJ, sometimes, more, sometimes less, sometiems adderall, sometimes water, it doesn't matter.

life happens just so, as does sounds, as does every moment, so do not judge it. realize it is just so, and make adjustments

Try this Sunny
Michael Newton, a clinical hypnotherapist, does past life regressions and found a way to regress his clients to that place we go between lives. He has done tons of research and case studies on this. When I was finding out what rang "true" for me, his work really helped. Go read to book Journey of souls. I think that his stuff bridges the gap and brings the mysteries of why we are here down to something that we can work with on a daily basis.

-Dylan

Hey JD,

What kind of work is suggested to make progress? Meditation? Visualization? Relaxation?

Andecala

just believe in yourselfs' intuitions,ive learnt,i used to strive to perfection,hell no it didnt work. I know who I am and what I IS the mostest for me.

hope this helps,cause my own beliefs makes sense TO ME.

[QUOTE=EYEFORGOT]Something new makes me feel elated. I get "high" from learning something that makes some sense to me. With ADD I crave variety, with bipolar the newness shocks me out of depression, temporarily. I get manic with the liberation, QUOTE]

I think that is kind of what happend with me. As I felt high, like I could do anything, I started attempting things like I could do anything and the crash came when I began to realize I wasn't able to follow through with all of these flighty ideas I was having. It was nice to be shocked out of the depression like that though, but really it ended up to be rather damaging.

Either way, as Futs mentioned, I think it does have a lot to do with faith, and that is where I seem to be falling short. I'm almost afraid to believe in much of anything right now. I'll get there at some point, I have to hope for that, but right now I just feel so empty and void. I wondered if it even has to do with this Lamictal I'm taking. It just seems to make things so dull, like I can't feel or experience love.

Thanks for the insight.i get the same if i originaly dont believe in it, but find to love it. I would be better at this im just not too spiritual but you can be right. Hard to tell. I cant tell you what it is physically, so maybe it is spiritual. Who knows. I do know having depression is a struggle against yourself, because you cant make yourself stop thinking about all the bad **** that is happening, maybe we were destined to do somethin bad in our life but god gave us another chance before birth with a consequence to burden.

stop thinking aboutyeah, this is difficult.

just (covering up that thinking) w/better thinking.

****nature of atoning***


following God is active****

dunno though :(

since nothing is also something,
but engaging in nothing . . .

lol

engaging in nothing is also doing something,
but magically, this appears like being nothing,
wrong-o,
w/ a balance-this can be a right action,
if a situation calls,
if those spirits call for something like that.

~

Hey guyz, I just wondered what you all thought about ADD / Depression / other mental issues, being linked to spirituality. I've been pondering this because I have grown up with Christian beliefs but a few months ago, because of struggling for so long with depression / ADD, I kind of started looking into other spiritual practices. Well.... I started into some pretty deep conversations with a friend and I don't know really what happend, but I for the first time felt wonderful, but then did things that for me really were kind of crazy and it even led me to a diagnosis of having Bipolar. I for a while, felt as if I could do anything...ya know... conquer the world if need be (lol). This was so new to me because I had been depressed for so long.

I have heard different people say that all of our mental and physical issues are some how tied to our spirituality. I can see that as true in one way but I feel like that is what kind of failed me in the first place. I felt like I must not have been doing something right spiritually because I just could never live what I felt like should be "normal". I was always so behind, so slow, didn't do well in school, got married, always wanted to be a mom...but with each child I got more depressed and more ADD.

I am now actually taking a BP medication "Lamictal" and I do think that it is helping, but it still leaves me wondering how much of this is a spiritual battle. I wonder to if because of the ADD I for some reason OVER FOCUS on the spiritual stuff because it's like I am searching for an answer for all of this. All I know is that I've tried a couple different paths and got the same results which is also kinda confusing.

Okay, just had to remind myself to breathe in...breathe out....get off the computer....go have an oreo cookie and a glass of milk...CUZ "I like to eat the creamy middle like I did when I was little...O R E O.... lolYour emotions, thoughts and beliefs certainly do have real effects upon your mind and body, and this has been proven in thousands of medical studies.

Did you know anger and social isolation are the largest risk factors for heart disease? Beyond all others?

Did you know meditation (when done regularly) has been shown to reduce chronic pain, increase attention, lower blood pressure, and boost the immune system in studies?

Religion, more than anything else, is a cognitive framework of hope with regular social connection to others. The psychological value of that for personal health is immense. Even if all religion is totally, totally wrong... the benefits to us here, now, in physical, mental, and social health are very real.

But you have to work to achieve those benefits. You must use your faith to create hope and remove despair. You must connect to others that your faith brings you together with. You must relax, pray, and meditate to see those benefits.

When you do though, you will indeed benefit. Right here and now.

Everything is connected to the spirit. So one can say that ADHD, BiPolar all have their connection to the spiritual. However, it is also true that medicines, etc. have their connection to the spiritual as well. So to just say you should cure ADHD by being more spiritual or religious is an ego position. One needs to heal exactly as one is supposed to and some people never do heal (at least this go around). The ego likes to go to one extreme (heal through prayer or heal through drugs) or another, but the healing lies somewhere inbetween.

You said that "I am searching for an answer for all of this. All I know is that I've tried a couple different paths and got the same results which is also kinda confusing. " which reminds me of something that Nisargadatta Maharaj used to say "The seeker becomes the sought."

The ego likes to go to one extreme (heal through prayer or heal through drugs) or another, but the healing lies somewhere inbetween. Taking from the fundamentals of ALCHEMY

There is . . . .
____Sexual Alchemy (like oooo lala, and dancing, playing etc)
____Internal Alchemy (like Meditation/Yoga/Breathing)
____External Alchemy (like Vitamin/Drugs)

I recently wrote a vision statement/autobiographical sketch in three pages for a Master of Arts program in Conscious Evolution at the Graduate Institute with Christian de Quincey. The program is fantastic and has just begun.
The following is a slightly abbreviated and slightly modified version of my college essay:

As far back as I can remember, I have always felt a calling: I knew with all my heart that there was something more-something bigger, something brighter, greater, truer, deeper, more pure: that Spark, calling us from our infancy! Setting out for answers I became an English major in college. The words of Kerouac, Plato, Thoreau, Hesse, Kundera, Kant, Nietzsche, Lao Tzu, and many others offered glimpses of an evasive truth that I sought desperately. Finding no answers in school or in the church, I felt that something was wrong, something missing. Left wanting, I sought to escape. Though fairly happy, confident and optimistic, I was also a bit naïve and chased shadows much of my life-finding an escape from the confines of an unfocused mind through drugs and alcohol.

Beyond college, I knew this lifestyle wouldn't suit me much longer and decided to go back to school and become certified to teach high school English while earning my Master's degree in Education. I took some Tai Chi and dabbled with meditation along the way. I found them enjoyable and beneficial for clearing the mind and relaxing, but the experiences fell short of miraculous.


I have always been fascinated by magic. In high school, I would perform birthday parties for children. As I entered college, I let the hobby go: supplies were expensive and hard to come by, while beer was cheap and easy to come by. About a year ago, after a long hiatus and perhaps as some part of a mini, mid-life crisis, I developed a new fascination with magic and became intrigued by several new magicians, especially Derren Brown of London. I noticed that these men seemed to have powers of the mind that I thought impossible. Some new discovery on my part and their claims about the powers of mind, body and spirit led me to read up on hypnotism and Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which I found immensely fascinating. I found new control over my addictive impulses and also gained greater ability to control my moods. I discovered brilliant new ways of learning. Beginning to realize the potential this could have on education reform, I began reading furiously. I found a wealth of information on mental imagery, learning theory, and mysticism on the Stanford website; all of it made so much sense. I found more and more information on the subject, but all pushed out of the mainstream. I felt outrage that the country had things so backwards. Being an auditory/kinesthetic learner with attention deficit disorder, I was thirty-years-old and learning how to visualize.


Towards the end of my college years, I read the Tao Te Ching and immediately recognized it as truth, as opposed to the dogma of the religious institutions that I had been more formally introduced to. I have always lived accordingly and had thought that I had everything figured out. After my new discoveries with hypnosis and N.L.P., I began experimenting more with meditation and the power of the subconscious. Jon Kabitt Zinn's Wherever You Go, There You Are and similar books provided new insight into living a life less entrapped by thoughts. Realizing that I was still plagued with incessant mind chatter and sometimes still struggled to control impulses, I began to take meditation more seriously. Eventually, I no longer needed to take Strattera, an adult Attention Deficit Disorder medicine, and have since been in much greater control of my mind. I began gaining tremendous insight into myself and about my life.

Last year, I began mentoring students as part of a new program to help at-risk students. I couldn't get over the stories these kids would tell me. I was often able to give them insight or just let them know that they weren't crazy or alone, and the look of relief on their faces made it worth every moment. They kept coming back. Helping these students allowed me to release a great deal of pent up guilt from having lived a hedonistic lifestyle for so long: I realized that the suffering and grief I caused friends and family had some purpose in the end-the insights gained allowed me to better understand and help. A tremendous burden lifted.

My meditation experiences went to another level. I experienced transcendence! Something snapped. I cried for hours. I stopped biting my fingernails overnight. I truly understood Plato's Allegory of the Cave. The concept of space/time began to make clear sense. I had a few meditation experiences that I wouldn't even begin to describe and can literally feel the spiritual energy inside of me. I've opened my mind's eye. How could I have not even heard about such things before? I can't believe the churches and schools don't acknowledge any of it. I became less bound to my feelings, emotions, and mental traps. My psychiatrist confirmed the transformation and I stopped seeing him. I became obsessed with the works of Wilber, Tolle, Chopra, Jung and many others (including the books I have started to read from the curriculum). This evasive mystery now seemed so obviously the truth to me.

I have been planning to go back to school for a sixth-year degree and was debating what avenue to pursue for some time now, but nothing seemed to fit quite right. When I saw, through the WIE link, that this institute existed-with the perfect schedule for a teacher, no less-I began drooling like Pavlov's dog as I felt the Cosmos shift in alignment with my Dharma: The series of fortunate coincidences continues.

Has anyone here heard of the 9 celestine prohecies?
I believe they ring a lot of truth for life in general.