Sorry.. I feel the urge to go on a theraputic rant tonight...

My visits to the therapist seem to be revealing a lot about myself... I am learnign a lot.

I'm learning that I have anxiety, OCD traits, ADD traits and a few autistic traits. I might be high functioning, but it is hard for me to accept sometimes... but it seems to fit in so many ways. Life is never simple, and seldom easy, eh ? :faint:

I am also learning that these things have fuzzy dimensions and labels are not as important as what things really are. Regardless, these things have names and the names have diagnostic descriptions, so I am in pursuit of that name for my troubles so that I can understand myself.

This is going to take a long time to sort out, I think. :(

For now I am focused on overcoming my sensory problems and am gaining on it, slowly. I have learned some new ways of reducing my sensory load and recovering from overload. I still belive that my ADD and anxiety revolves around my hearing problems, so I am attacking my hyperacusus as best as I can. :) The OCD seems to pop up when I am highly stressed, so I think that will also improve a lot as I overcome my sensory issues. :eek:

Me :D

Rant away, Speedo! Even if it explains a lot and seems to fit it never feels especially good to have all those labels applied to you. I think it's probably especially difficult when you are high functioning, because some of the time you can get away with looking pretty average joe. That's the way it is for me anyway. Someone, I think maybe Hallowell, said that with ADHD your strengths are totally out of proportion to your weaknesses -- quite a dicotomy!

One thing I try to keep in mind sometimes when the labels are feeling uncomfortable is something they taught me in my counseling program. They said the map is not the terrain. The labels are useful, but none of them completely or accurately defined you. Anyway, just wanted to say, I hear you!

Take gentle care!
Scattered

Scattered;

You said well, and I agree. I am just upset over having to accept the fact that I have more issues than I thought. The labels are just descriptive, so they are useful... but one does not want to get too caught up in them. I'm trying to connect all of this and put it in perspective....

This is a transition period for me. I am learning to accept myself in light of my new knowledge and it is not as easy as I thought it would be.

Me :D



Rant away, Speedo! Even if it explains a lot and seems to fit it never feels especially good to have all those labels applied to you. I think it's probably especially difficult when you are high functioning, because some of the time you can get away with looking pretty average joe. That's the way it is for me anyway. Someone, I think maybe Hallowell, said that with ADHD your strengths are totally out of proportion to your weaknesses -- quite a dicotomy!

One thing I try to keep in mind sometimes when the labels are feeling uncomfortable is something they taught me in my counseling program. They said the map is not the terrain. The labels are useful, but none of them completely or accurately defined you. Anyway, just wanted to say, I hear you!

Take gentle care!
Scattered

Probably feels a bit discouraging at the moment adding more to the pile you're already dealing with. Transitions are never easy and it's not easy seeing yourself in a new way either. I have trouble sometimes finding the proper balance between accepting the labels and making too big a deal over them. So you have my empathy if not any easy answers.

As a grief counselor I used to teach kids about the loss of an assumptive world (they way you thought things were). It can sometimes be an even bigger loss than the more concrete observable losses. I gave them a heads up that a grieving process usually goes along with that (pretending, protest, pain, and peace). It's not easy and it's not much fun so be real good to yourself and do something nice for you!

I have a grief process going, so it is not helping. Yes. I am going to be good to myself. :)
I have been a selfish hermit. I think I will continue doing so for a while so I can enjoy the peace and quiet.

Me :D

Shhhh -- Speedo's in his hermitage.;)







Night, night...

Shhhh -- Speedo's in his hermitage. Yes, but he still comes here for a virtual visit and that's a good thing.

Yes, but he still comes here for a virtual visit and that's a good thing.Yep! A very good thing -- we'd really miss him if he didn't!:D

My visits to the therapist seem to be revealing a lot about myself... I am learnign a lot.

I'm learning that I have anxiety, OCD traits, ADD traits and a few autistic traits. I might be high functioning, but it is hard for me to accept sometimes... but it seems to fit in so many ways. Life is never simple, and seldom easy, eh ? :faint:

I am also learning that these things have fuzzy dimensions and labels are not as important as what things really are. Regardless, these things have names and the names have diagnostic descriptions, so I am in pursuit of that name for my troubles so that I can understand myself.

This is going to take a long time to sort out, I think. :(

Me :D
Speedo,

I assume we all draw on what we know to solve problems. I program computers. I have spent enormous amounts of time trying to find bugs, especially logical bugs where the stupid machine is doing exactly what I told it to and it can get I didn't mean THAT, then a few seconds making the correction. Think about that ... hours diagnossing, seconds repairing!

ADHD remediation is mostly a matter of good diagnostics. The time you spending now should be well rewarded with a couple of excellent fixes. I've found out that even the subtype of ADHD will influence whether a particular therapy will work. (See Dr. Amen). So keep it up. You are barking up the right tree. Big ol vermin up there.

Bob

Sorry.. I feel the urge to go on a theraputic rant tonight...

My visits to the therapist seem to be revealing a lot about myself... I am learnign a lot.

I'm learning that I have anxiety, OCD traits, ADD traits and a few autistic traits. I might be high functioning, but it is hard for me to accept sometimes... but it seems to fit in so many ways. Life is never simple, and seldom easy, eh ? :faint:

I am also learning that these things have fuzzy dimensions and labels are not as important as what things really are. Regardless, these things have names and the names have diagnostic descriptions, so I am in pursuit of that name for my troubles so that I can understand myself.

This is going to take a long time to sort out, I think. :(

For now I am focused on overcoming my sensory problems and am gaining on it, slowly. I have learned some new ways of reducing my sensory load and recovering from overload. I still belive that my ADD and anxiety revolves around my hearing problems, so I am attacking my hyperacusus as best as I can. :) The OCD seems to pop up when I am highly stressed, so I think that will also improve a lot as I overcome my sensory issues. :eek:

Me :D

Speedo,did you end up getting a HF kanners or HF aspergers,or no specifics?

You're learning a lot at your visits-it's amazing what even 1 individual assessment can tell the person,more than what they have learned in their whole,undiagnosed life time isn't it? :)

Right now we are calling it HF mostly because it is the only thing that fits all the symptoms and co-morbidities as well as all the info dug up from my past.

No formal, rigid diagnosis has been made yet. I am attempting to get a referral to a neurologist and I plan to ask for a functional MRI. If I can find someone who knows how to interpret it, It may give me enough evidence that can lead to a diagnosis.

If I really am high functioniing, I an VERY high functioning. It is not unheard of, but is very, very rare (so I am told).

We have been meeting every two weeks for some time now. We are just now getting around to plans for mitigating my hyperacusus. It is really the only thing that I see causing a major impairment at this time... the rest just makes me a little odd, but the world can adjust. :eek:

You are correct, it has helped tremendously. I would not have spotted my OCD tendencies, nor would I have been able to accept the HF label on my own.

Me :D



Speedo,did you end up getting a HF kanners or HF aspergers,or no specifics?

You're learning a lot at your visits-it's amazing what even 1 individual assessment can tell the person,more than what they have learned in their whole,undiagnosed life time isn't it? :)

I was fortunate enough to be invited to hear a neurodevelopmental pediatrician from Philadelphia tonite.

She's trained with Joe Biederman and did an excellent job of explaining the "neurobiological" part of the disorder.

At the same time tho, she spent quite a bit of time emphasizing comorbidity and how its definately going to be there in some way.

Her point was trying to differentaite between ADHD and comorbid disorders that can "mimic" ADHD.

It was very well done.

I was not very ADD until I develoiped tinnitus. But I have other comorbidities. A high functioning dx seems to fit the package of comorbidities well. If I am HF, I am very high functioning. It was for that reason I was discounbting it. My therapist convinced me that I ought to give it more serious consideration. If I am not HF, then I have at least 4 discrete disorders... that is possible, but seems to be more unlikely than HF.

I was surprised to realize that I had a number of comorbidities, but sure enough they are there. I was still considering the possibility that it was "All in my head", but there is no way that is possible with the combination that I have. I definitely have a neurological condition, and it looks a lot like a very, very mild case of autism. I have considered ADHD, bipolar disorder, environmental stress, and none seem to fit perfectly like the HF dx.

This is going to take a while to pin down for sure, but HF is the dx I am favoring at present (subject to change). I hope it does not change right away, because facing myself has not been easy and the strress I went through learning to accept it was remarkable, so I feel that I can keep it for a while if I want to.... :eek: :faint: :) :p

Me :D