Paws13
09-13-05, 06:01 PM
Hi. I'm Paws. I have ADD, which you've probably guessed. I'm writing this memoir to give other ADD teens (and pre-teens) on this site hope and let them know that they CAN make a difference in their lives, and that it's never too late to change, even with disabilities and challenges. I'm writing this as a "Chicken Soup" sort of way for this site. I hope this helps them make better choices about talking to an adult about issues, and hopefully they won't make the same mistakes I have. Here it is :)
In fifth grade, that's when my life started to turn. I was pitied by the teacher since I would get nervous all the time, and be a "cry baby" (hence the anxiety). I became a teacher's pet, but that only made me feel worst because i was worried my peers would pick on me. They weren't even nice in the first place, but this would probably make it worst. This is when I started losing homework, getting very low scores on tests, and misplacing important things.
My parents noticed, and started taking things away from me, such as piano lessons, TV, and telephone privilages. I didn't care what they did at this point. But their punishments weren't improving my grades, which at the time were only "C's". Sixth grade was pretty much the same.
Seventh grade was when I switched schools from public, to private. It was tough finding my way around, getting used to new teachers, and meeting new students. I made two new friends, who are now the closest thing to family.
That year in school, I also did poorly in school. Again, I was having issues handing in assignments, failing quizzes and tests, and coming to class unprepared (in other words, forgetting books). More and more in the quarter, progress reports with bad comments and even worst grades came in the mail. Most of them I shredded in the shredder before my parents came home so that they wouldn't be mad. But they eventually found out, and I lost more privilages. This is the year my depression started to show up.
As more and more bad grades were revealed, I became more scared of my teachers and my own parents, and how they would react. Soon, I was begging my mom to not let me go to school, and even faked sick a lot of times, just so that I wouldn't have to go through the pain.
Finally, I got help when my parents noticed that I couldn't have been doing this because of distractions, or too many rights. I went to see someone for organizational skills around the last semester. I saw her every day, and she checked all my assignments. The last quarter, I passed every class. Me and my parents were so happy that day.
Eighth grade was the most painful year. Mom and Dad decided to see how I would do on my own. At the end of the quarter, I bombed every class except PE. At the second quarter, I went to see the organizational skills woman again. She helped, somewhat. But even with her, my grades were still low. I was still having issues handing in homework and lied to her that I was so that she wouldn't attack me. After a while, when bad things happened, I would turn off the lights, lock my door, and cry in my room. I started to iscolate myself from the family, and stopped eating dinner for a while.
Finally one day, I just broke. My second quarter report card had come in, and they were all basically "Fs", "Ds", and a "C". I couldn't take it any more, so i taped it to my door, along with a letter with what I've been going through and how life felt. I couldn't bear to face them. They saw it, and were shocked to hear about what I was going through. They were starting to see things through my eyes, and they were beginning to understand. That night, we had a long talk, about how Mom thought I might have ADD and anxiety. Was she right!
A month after, I got tested for ADD, and another month later (my town goes fast with these evaluations), I found out I did have ADD and anxiety. But I was also depressed. Finding this out changed my life. In the evaluation, I completed an IQ test, which said I got scores higher than a lot of kids my age. Later that year (this summer), I got the picture.
It started when I was watching TV. There was a show on, and there was an episode about a kid trying to balence his life. His mom then said to him, "It's how you overcome your obsticles that matters, no matter what the challenge is. Anything is possible". That phrase really caught on me.
I was a bright girl (said by my evaluaters), but my ADD was bringing my grades down. I realized then I was capable of doing everything, and doing great on them. I just had to get past my obsticles, which in this case was getting past ADD, controlling my anxiety, and trying hard enough so I could be less depressed. And overcoming my obstacles is exactly what happened this year.
Now, I'm in ninth grade, in high school (where everything counts...). Luckily this year, I have a clean new slate to start on, and so far it's a slate of great things. I'm on the school newspaper and trying out for indoor track in the winter. I'm also part of City Year (I was in Young Heroes in 7th and 8th grade) and I'm making a
service project at my school soon. I've also made a new friend. But most of all, my grades are the best.
I've been putting in more effort to get those great grades, and it's really showing. All my teachers have great comments, and my parents are so happy. Last night, I cried again. But they were tears of joy instead. I have never been so happy in my life. If I keep it up, maybe I'll cry more tears of joy.
Paws
In fifth grade, that's when my life started to turn. I was pitied by the teacher since I would get nervous all the time, and be a "cry baby" (hence the anxiety). I became a teacher's pet, but that only made me feel worst because i was worried my peers would pick on me. They weren't even nice in the first place, but this would probably make it worst. This is when I started losing homework, getting very low scores on tests, and misplacing important things.
My parents noticed, and started taking things away from me, such as piano lessons, TV, and telephone privilages. I didn't care what they did at this point. But their punishments weren't improving my grades, which at the time were only "C's". Sixth grade was pretty much the same.
Seventh grade was when I switched schools from public, to private. It was tough finding my way around, getting used to new teachers, and meeting new students. I made two new friends, who are now the closest thing to family.
That year in school, I also did poorly in school. Again, I was having issues handing in assignments, failing quizzes and tests, and coming to class unprepared (in other words, forgetting books). More and more in the quarter, progress reports with bad comments and even worst grades came in the mail. Most of them I shredded in the shredder before my parents came home so that they wouldn't be mad. But they eventually found out, and I lost more privilages. This is the year my depression started to show up.
As more and more bad grades were revealed, I became more scared of my teachers and my own parents, and how they would react. Soon, I was begging my mom to not let me go to school, and even faked sick a lot of times, just so that I wouldn't have to go through the pain.
Finally, I got help when my parents noticed that I couldn't have been doing this because of distractions, or too many rights. I went to see someone for organizational skills around the last semester. I saw her every day, and she checked all my assignments. The last quarter, I passed every class. Me and my parents were so happy that day.
Eighth grade was the most painful year. Mom and Dad decided to see how I would do on my own. At the end of the quarter, I bombed every class except PE. At the second quarter, I went to see the organizational skills woman again. She helped, somewhat. But even with her, my grades were still low. I was still having issues handing in homework and lied to her that I was so that she wouldn't attack me. After a while, when bad things happened, I would turn off the lights, lock my door, and cry in my room. I started to iscolate myself from the family, and stopped eating dinner for a while.
Finally one day, I just broke. My second quarter report card had come in, and they were all basically "Fs", "Ds", and a "C". I couldn't take it any more, so i taped it to my door, along with a letter with what I've been going through and how life felt. I couldn't bear to face them. They saw it, and were shocked to hear about what I was going through. They were starting to see things through my eyes, and they were beginning to understand. That night, we had a long talk, about how Mom thought I might have ADD and anxiety. Was she right!
A month after, I got tested for ADD, and another month later (my town goes fast with these evaluations), I found out I did have ADD and anxiety. But I was also depressed. Finding this out changed my life. In the evaluation, I completed an IQ test, which said I got scores higher than a lot of kids my age. Later that year (this summer), I got the picture.
It started when I was watching TV. There was a show on, and there was an episode about a kid trying to balence his life. His mom then said to him, "It's how you overcome your obsticles that matters, no matter what the challenge is. Anything is possible". That phrase really caught on me.
I was a bright girl (said by my evaluaters), but my ADD was bringing my grades down. I realized then I was capable of doing everything, and doing great on them. I just had to get past my obsticles, which in this case was getting past ADD, controlling my anxiety, and trying hard enough so I could be less depressed. And overcoming my obstacles is exactly what happened this year.
Now, I'm in ninth grade, in high school (where everything counts...). Luckily this year, I have a clean new slate to start on, and so far it's a slate of great things. I'm on the school newspaper and trying out for indoor track in the winter. I'm also part of City Year (I was in Young Heroes in 7th and 8th grade) and I'm making a
service project at my school soon. I've also made a new friend. But most of all, my grades are the best.
I've been putting in more effort to get those great grades, and it's really showing. All my teachers have great comments, and my parents are so happy. Last night, I cried again. But they were tears of joy instead. I have never been so happy in my life. If I keep it up, maybe I'll cry more tears of joy.
Paws