My whole life has been heading towards this iceberg and I think I've finally hit it. My wife is within inches of leaving me, I can't get over my addictions to food and nicotine, my home life is a wreck, my work is suffering more than it ever has, I feel like I'm just floating along completely directionless.
As far as meds go, I've tried Straterra which was horrible (when I remembered to take it), and I've tried Ritallin which I had to keep upping the dose of until I got worried that I was abusing it instead of using it.
I've attempted to read several books, but I have just never been able to follow through on any tips or suggestions in them. The chaos that is my life is so thoroughly out of control, I don't even know where to start. Even if I did, I might make it 2 or 3 hours before falling back into my old ways.
This story has probably been posted a thousand times. I just needed to get it out of my brain. Maybe that in itself will help.

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I think I hear you saying you are basically out of control on many levels and your wife has one foot out the door.

You've made an excellent start be recognizing the problem and I think you are fathoming the risk you are taking: divorce, weight problems, heart problems, lung problems

There are some other stories like yours posted here, and one of the key pieces of advice is:

If you could get out of this dilemma easily you would have done so already, so reach out for some help and contact your counsellor to get started.

Very best of luck with this,

Please let us know how you are doing, we are concerned about you.

cs

You need to tell yourself and make a decision to stop the boat right here.Ive done the exact same thing your going through a thousand times,I know you feel out of control.Right now if your marriage is healthy besides the ADD self destructive behavior,which is very typical Ive noticed.I do it myself.Tell her whats going on in your head and heart and to please hold on and help you get help.Do you see a doctor for your ADD right now?There are many other alternatives to Ritalin or Strattera.Im so sorry you feel like this right now,you will make it,you have already identified the problem and your on your way.Good luck to you and everything that comes your way.

I want to second what Crime Scene said. I would encourage you to find a counselor familiar with ADHD or a ADD group. It can really help you find the way to get your train back on the track. I know it can be expensive, but probably not more expensive than the price you've already and may pay in the future. Let us know how you're doing and hang in there -- things can always get better.

Scattered

Thanks folks. Here's some questions/comments:
so reach out for some help and contact your counsellor to get started. How do you find a counselor that you know has experience with Adult ADD? I've contacted people who list that as something they treat and they don't know squat.
Tell her whats going on in your head and heart and to please hold on and help you get help. She thinks ADD is BS and that I intentionally engage in the behavior that makes her so angry. She refuses to acknowledge that brains could possibly work differently from hers. We definitely need counseling, but again, I want to find a good counsellor and it's tough to do throwing darts at a phone book.

Yep -- it's not always easy to find the right counselor or psychologist. I asked my family doctor and he referred me to a psychologist who specialized in ADHD assessment and treatment. I also know that he is on of only two or three therapist in the area who mention ADHD testing and counseling in their yellow pages add, so that might be another possibility. Sometimes you just have to call around a bit and ask some questions. CHADD sometimes has lists of experienced ADHD counselors in a particular area.

As far as your wife goes, don't give up hope. I know it sounds pretty discouraging, but my husband was in the same place with me and thought it was all garbage, but over time, especially after I started meds, he started coming around. I hope she give you the time to work it out. Is she willing to read any books on the subject? There are some good ones out there.

Take care!
Scattered

My husband was the same way,in fact he was quite well,verbally abusive about it.That all changed after I took him to the doctor with me.It took a couple of days for him to finally get it through his thick head!LOL!!!I use to leave brochures and diffrent articles and ADD facts laying around his desk,I kept trying to get him to understand.If she refuses to even open herself up to a conversation or info about it then SHE is the one with the problem about that.Concentrate on yourself first,then the rest can fall into place.My hubby got the point the best after I started my meds.It was proof.Right in front of him,he couldnt argue with that.I hope all works out well with your marriage,but I really hope you get yourself taken care of first and formost.Good luck.