I hoping someone can help me.....My son keeps on leaving the house without telling anyone. He's 11 with adhd. I have talked to him and told him this is a big no no and so on but nothing he want listen. Could anyone give me a little advise on maybe what to tell him or how to get him to stop. Or if you have had this problem how did you deal with it. I just dont know what to do now. :confused: thanks ahead for any suggestions

I understand your problem especially these days. One never knows whether one should go into panic mode or not. My son also does this, or he just plain doesn't come home from school. Eventually he turns up which can be hairraising. We have phases where he's better about letting us know, and then not so good phases.

One idea would be to have little cardboard cards that he could just hang on a board or hook right by the door. Especially if he tends to go off to the same places all the time. i.e., "at John's", "at the playing field", "Grandma's", "riding bike", etc.

Kim

My 12 year old used to do the same thing. We live 2 streets from the park and he used to ride his bike there or up to the store for a soda, or to the car wash to check for quarters. (Believe it or not, he finds quarters all the time that people leave at the cash wash. The other day he found a baggie with $9.00 worth of quarters in it.)

Anyway, what has helped us is when we got him a cell phone. We can call him to see where he is and he can check in with us, which he thinks is cool to do now that he has a cell phone.

He has adhd, ocd, and has mood disorder issues so we don't have to worry about him always talking on the phone with tons of friends (like my daughter does.) He only has one friend that he has been hanging around with recently. So the only phone calls he makes are to us. :)

Im assuming that he just forgets to tell you. im 11 with ADHD and i forget
those kinds of things too. I like Kimalimah's idea, but maybe instead of him put up the piece of cardboard, just put a note on the door that says "Tell mom when you are leaving the house" or something like that. Who knows, it
might work.

I understand your problem especially these days. One never knows whether one should go into panic mode or not. My son also does this, or he just plain doesn't come home from school. Eventually he turns up which can be hairraising. We have phases where he's better about letting us know, and then not so good phases.

One idea would be to have little cardboard cards that he could just hang on a board or hook right by the door. Especially if he tends to go off to the same places all the time. i.e., "at John's", "at the playing field", "Grandma's", "riding bike", etc.

Kim

I send my daughter with my cell phone when she goes to a friends house even. The friends dad is a deputy and works odd hrs so they turn off the main phone at times.

Having a dry erase board by the door with the words Where are you going? in permanent marker may help to. Have him write on it even when you know where he's going so it becomes an ingrained habit. It takes 21 days to change or create a new behavior. So don't expect it to be perfect from the beginning but you must be consistant.

I always make my kids come home before going elsewhere. Failure to do so is usually being grounded from their favorite thing for a while including wherever they went without notification. He has to know you are serious on this subject and let him know why this is extremely important to you. You may even try letting him help you set the punishment for failure to comply....then when he doesn't do it, You can't be the mean mom because he helped decide the consequence.

Thanks all for the ideas gonna try them. Will let ya'll know how it works out!

If a cell phone is out of your price range, there are some great two way radios out there (think high tech walkie talkies) from about 30-50 dollars. You can go to nearly any store that sells phones or electronics, and select one that will meet your needs. The kids in our neighborhood use these, for when they're going a few streets over to the school, or to the park, etc.

I love some of the other ideas posted here, and will probably be implementing them for my oldest. She's getting very "I want to be more independent," but still needs some guidance as far as being responsible. The signs idea would be a good one for her, as long as she is maintaining her grades and keeping up with her room, etc.

bugs is getting better about telling us where he is going.....forgot we had the walkey talkeys for camping...so we gonna start using them ...cant beleive i forgot them. Thanks for reminding me...lol


Tracy

Tatorbugs_mommy, have you asked your son how he would feel if you left the house without telling him where you were going and when you'd be back?

A mobile phone is the answer... but as they get older they do tend to switch the thing off! My son who has ADHD has had one from around that age and he was pretty good at answering it..as he knew we would be worried about where he was! Good luck

Maybe you can try make home time fun. Not saying that it's not but create something at home he can do. Have him invite friends over for something 'cool' to do. It may help him from getting bored at home. Also, if he has ADHD he may just need to release some of the pent up energies. I bought my son a trampoline which he uses. Do you have a room in ur house you can turn into a 'work-out' room? Maybe it's far fetched but just thought i'd mention it anyway.

I agree about the consequences. They have to be consistent. If he leaves without permission SOMETHING has to be done about it. Also, balance that out with PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE everytime he remembers the smallest gesture.

My son has ADHD and he's 5. I dread the years ahead when he'll have more of an independence to challenge me further. (sigh)