View Full Version : Invited to leave


Uminchu
09-28-05, 04:10 AM
My son was diagnosed ADD-inattentive just this Monday. Today I went in for a meeting with this teacher and in-school tutor to talk about how we can best match up his environment to his needs.

Basically, the teacher and tutor said my son wasn't keeping up in class, and there was nothing further they could do for him since he was already taking up too much of the other kids' time as it was.

I said fine, let him finish out the second grade and we'll make other arrangements for next year. They said that even finishing out the year was impossible, so I said fine, I'll pull him out after Christmas and homeschool him. They said, "I really wish there was some other way..." Yeah right, their sympathy really touched me.

The thing is, I live in Okinawa and that school is pretty much the only game in town when it comes to an English-language education. They pretty much had it in for my son ever since I rocked the boat against their standard policy of "hold back every kid who can't keep up," and they were guaranteeing to me from day one that he would fail. Well, surprise surprise, their prediction came true! Imagine that!

OK I'm a bit worked up now, and I plan on talking with the school principle before making a final decision to pull him out. But in a way I am glad that we are going to be able to put our backs to that school. For all their talk of Christian values (they are a missionary school), they seem sadly lacking in the caring department.

scuro
09-28-05, 06:19 AM
Do talk to the Principal. Sometimes the vision of the school is not reflected through all staff.

Trooper Keith
09-28-05, 10:50 AM
Do talk to the Principal. Sometimes the vision of the school is not reflected through all staff.

Truer words are rarely spoken. Something tells me you can, at the very least, stir more crap for the teacher and tutor before you leave...which, if you're anything like me, is all it takes for consolation.

Jaycee
09-28-05, 05:25 PM
You may be better off trying to home school him for kindergarten anyway. He may not be ready developmentally for it at this point. You may find he responds better to you teaching him anyway.

I'd have to agree with Keith, though, making their life miserable as I left would be a goal of mine. Of course maybe I'm just being combative today.

Gourmet
09-28-05, 06:28 PM
"there is nothing further they can do" means they are giving up on your child. If it is a private school, they are being selective.

I have found that some schools stick to policy above and beyond the well being of a child. It's uncalled for and "sh****"...it's often a power play.

I wouldn't give up without my voice being heard. Write the local paper in addition to making a speach to the school board above the principal. I've had to do that before for public awareness and support. If your paper is liberal...which is highly likely, then they may investigate and join you as an advocate. I doubt you are the only parent with this issue.

Then, if I were in your situation, as you suggested, I would take my child out for an alternative program. Somewhere there is one to be had. It is so clear as to the mindset and attitude of your school's administration that they are not nurturing to the children as individuals.

If you are rocking the boat, it's because boats rock in choppy water.

Uminchu
09-28-05, 07:14 PM
Thanks, guys. I am going to make an appointment with the principle today. There is one other second-grade teacher, so I will ask to switch teachers first, and see if anything changes.

As for stirring up the pot, I plan to do so. I had a look at the criteria for accreditation of the school's accrediting body, and found this little tidbit:

<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" height="118" width="507"> <tbody><tr><td class="head2">C. Support for Student Personal and Academic Growth</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="right" valign="top"> <table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" width="96%"> <tbody><tr> <td class="head2" align="right" valign="top" width="18"></td> <td class="txt11px">All students receive appropriate support to help ensure academic success.</td> </tr> <tr> <td class="head2" align="right" valign="top"></td> <td class="txt11px">Students have access to a system of personal support services, activities and opportunities at the school and within the community.</td> </tr> </tbody></table></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="spacer" height="6"> </td></tr></tbody> </table>
So I think that they might appreciate a little heads-up about how a school they accredit is treating a child with a documented need (insert evil-grin smiley here)

whiteraven
09-29-05, 07:01 AM
And there are other options.
We home schooled until our son was 10. Canada and the US both have online and distance education programs. (I'm not sure of your country of origin?)
Good luck with the teacher change though; could make all the difference.

Uminchu
09-30-05, 06:17 AM
I met with son's teacher on Wednesday.

The following day, she gave my wife a 19-page folder she had prepared with tips for teaching ADHD children, with various parts highlighted. It looked like most of the parts highlighted were things I had mentioned to her in our meeting.

Then today (Friday), I met with the principle, who said they didn't want my son out of the school. She agreed with my idea of hiring a special ed teacher, and having the kids who used them pay extra each month. So I agreed to hold off on any decisions until I saw how the new measures were working out...

And then today, the teacher approached me and apologized, saying she loved my son and wanted him in her class, and would do "anything she could" to help him.

A bit of a turn-around from the "he's taking too much time away from the other children" thing, but I'm not complaining. I just hope this lasts.

scuro
09-30-05, 07:31 AM
It looks like everyone is on the same "vision" page now. It does pay to be diplomatic. Especially when you're packin. :)

I'd question you paying extra, because support is what he NEEDS to do better. I also don't know if a Spec Ed teacher is needed for just one kid. If you want to save them money, suggest an EA. Really, you just want some quality one on one teaching time, during the day, for certain subjects.

Uminchu
09-30-05, 07:38 PM
It looks like everyone is on the same "vision" page now. It does pay to be diplomatic. Especially when you're packin. :)

Amazing isn't it? I feel most proud of myself because I never raised my voice in any of these meetings, and was as conciliatory as possible.


I'd question you paying extra, because support is what he NEEDS to do better. I also don't know if a Spec Ed teacher is needed for just one kid. If you want to save them money, suggest an EA. Really, you just want some quality one on one teaching time, during the day, for certain subjects.
In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to pay extra. But the school's budget is very tight, and it's a small school, so hiring an extra teacher would mean raising tuitions. Even a slight rise in tuition would probably mean that some families could no longer send their kids to the school. So whose needs are more important?

Bottom line, I can afford a bit of extra money for extra help, and am glad to pay it if it will help my son. I have mentioned ideas like this before, but until now they haven't been taken very seriously.

Gourmet
09-30-05, 07:45 PM
Uminchu- so good to hear that things are moving in a positive direction with your son.