I have recently been dx as AD/HD. Psychologist also dx PTSD. Psychiatrist (only seen once for first consult and have to see again next week to go more in depth about "issues") also put down AD/HD and "cluster B traits". In the past I've been (mis?)diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder. At this point I don't know what the heck is going on with me but I'm pretty confident in the AD/HD. Not sure what else is going on but it's something! (The below notes, sadly, are not the only other issues.)

So now my question: I have some problems with what I guess are obsessive thoughts. But they're not like what I read when I read examples of OCD thoughts.
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I'm referring to OCD things like this:

"A person who has OCD has intrusive and unwanted thoughts and repeatedly performs tasks to get rid of the thoughts. For example, if you have OCD, you may fear that everything you touch is contaminated with germs, and in order to ease that fear, you repeatedly wash your hands."

"Obsessions, which are recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas, and impulses that interrupt normal thinking and cause anxiety or fear. The thoughts may be sexual or violent or create a concern of illness. Examples include:



Persistent fear of harm to yourself or a loved one.
An excessive need to do things perfectly or correctly.
A fear of contamination."
[different source]
"Thoughts about contamination, for example, when an individual fears coming into contact with dirt, germs or "unclean" objects;


Persistent doubts, for example, whether or not one has turned off the iron or stove, locked the door or turned on the answering machine;
Extreme need for orderliness;
Aggressive impulses or thoughts, for example, being overcome with the urge to yell 'fire' in a crowded theater"
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These don't apply to me and I don't think I have any compulsions. The only one that fits is the last bullet about aggressive impulses or thoughts. When I was a kid I often thought about yelling in the middle of church. I just wanted to see what people would do. I never did it but I often thought of it. I guess this still happens occasionally (but not in church). ;)

So, my obsessive thoughts are more like this:


Something that ticked me off gets stuck in my head and I can't let it go. These are things that I don't think would bother most people at all or for only a few seconds.



Can't stop (eventually I do) researching about a medical condition or medication online. I'm not sure if this can be attributed to having gone without insurance/adequate medical care for years and having to rely on myself to try to figure out what's going on with me and now it's habit.



If there's something I'm interested in buying I spend way too long checking every single website until I finally exhaust myself and make a decision (or don't buy anything at all!) I will spend many hours choosing office supplies! And yet I can't focus on reading, tv, movies, work, etc! Maybe this is a hyperfocus issue?..I will get stuck and very happy about doing something I find enjoyable completely ignoring that I have responsibilities that need to be attended to. I often spend too much time on details of a project that don't really matter, even though there's a deadline and I put off getting started on it until the 'last minute'



Replay conversations (where I had a disagreement, was annoyed, etc) over and over in my head thinking about what I shoulda/coulda said



Obsess about dx and needing to feel like my doctors believe me and are confident in their dx. Not sure if this is normal but I think about it a lot and not sure why. I'm recieving treatment. They've put their dx in writing. But things like them not being sure how much of my symptoms are caused by AD/HD and how much is a result of a separate condition get stuck in my head and I keep second-guessing myself.



Needing to post this online to people that have no bearing on my real life instead of being content to discuss with doctor and trust them at my next appointment! :D

Welcome to my world!

Wanted to add to this bullet:



If there's something I'm interested in buying I spend way too long checking every single website until I finally exhaust myself and make a decision (or don't buy anything at all!) I will spend many hours choosing office supplies! And yet I can't focus on reading, tv, movies, work, etc! Maybe this is a hyperfocus issue?..I will get stuck and very happy about doing something I find enjoyable completely ignoring that I have responsibilities that need to be attended to. I often spend too much time on details of a project that don't really matter, even though there's a deadline and I put off getting started on it until the 'last minute' [adding] and yet I often, despite obsessing over details, still make careless mistakes, typos, not really paying attention to what I was doing even though I spent so much time on it.

Rumination and hyperfocusing are very common for people with AD/HD. The serverity of them and how much they interfers with living a productive life have a lot to do with whether it's AD/HD or anxiety.

Im so there!!!!

Something I thought since posting: Since my mind is always GoingGoingGoing it has to have material all the time. I've never thought "nothing" as sometimes people say when you ask what they're thinking about. So the types of thoughts I mentioned above give it good material (though annoying and perhaps unhealthy) to 'focus' on.

Rumination and hyperfocusing are very common for people with AD/HD. The serverity of them and how much they interfers with living a productive life have a lot to do with whether it's AD/HD or anxiety.
Yea, I'm not sure about this. They definitely cause anxiety (the replaying of conversations, not being able to let things go, etc) but I don't know that anxiety is the cause for having these types of thoughts. Does that make sense?

I feel that if I could calm my brain down it wouldn't need to have something to constantly think about. And if my focus and concentration were improved then I could spend more mental energy on learning, reading and pondering things of substance vs. filler thoughts. Hopefully then my downtime would be more relaxed and not jump into unproductive and unpleasant "obsessive" thoughts.

It's extremely frustrating to be aware that 'something's not right' and eventually realize you can't gain control of your thoughts. My friend will say "just don't think about it" or "let it go" or "it doesn't matter" but it's not that simple for me. And I have to have something to think about all my waking hours! :)

I do ALL those things! But the ruminating has gotten MUCH better since I began meditating. I could never stop my thoughts....conversations, things I should have said, things I'm ticked about. I knew how I should feel, that overthinking things wouldn't help, and that I really did need to 'let go' of the things I couldn't change.

Meditating for about 20 minutes, focusing on one word or phrase (like 'let go, let God') and sitting still with myself allowed me to be able to do that at will when my mind got going. The trick in meditating, I found, is no expecting that you will be able to block out all other thoughts; it's more about paying attention, and when you notice your mind is wandering, gently bring it back to the phrase you have chosen. Your thoughts will wander.....it's what you do!....it's that exercise of bringing it back to the phrase that makes it easier to do it when you want to.

I started out by meditating twice a day, and I cannot tell you what it is like to be able to drive down the road and actually pay attention to my driving, my surroundings...and not have a mind that's racing around on other (usually disturbing or anxiety producing) stuff, is WONDERFUL!!

And by the way....researching your purchases to the point that you no longer feel like making the purchase can be a good thing. Think about it!

And researching medical conditions.....people often think I'm some kind of an expert, and have actually asked me to be with them when they speak with their doctors, as sort of an advocate.

Good Luck!!