I'm not an ADDer, but you'd be doing lots of us a big favor if you could tell us how you were motivated to get help, counseling, try some meds. Often we see ADD in full flower -- you know all the symptoms -- and yet, the ADD person won't go to a doc or won't try meds or if he/she gets them, won't take them. We know that the reluctance sometimes is based a long history of failure. But what helped you or is helping you now? I just hate to think about my guy wasting the rest of his life sitting at the Internet, going from distraction to distraction, etc. etc.

My motivation was when I began to suspect my son had ADD. Then as I read up on it, I realized I had it too. The realization that there was a way to improve what I had assumed to be character flaws was so exciting, I jumped at the chance. I can be a chronic procrastinator, but not about this.

My motivation was to better understand myself, and perhaps to find a way to do something about some problems I've had in jobs all my life.

I think what it ended up doing, not without a lot of self seraching, is convince me not to continue trying to fit me (a square peg) into a round hole (accounting and bookkeeping).

I have yet to find a square hole. But I'm working on it. From a more informed standpoint.

I was looking at starting grad school in Clinical Psych without being a Psych major.

I had been diagnosed with MBD (Minimal Brain Dysfunction/Damage) in 1972.

Subsequent aptitude testing suggested my strenghts were either as a teacher or clinical psych.

I ended up working a year at a residential treatment center in Texas and started grad classes there.

When it came to entering the program, I felt that I had nothing to lose w/trying meds, so I did.

I had suspected I had it for awhile, but finally when I moved to my current job, it was very ADHD-unfriendly. I was doing poorly in it, and started getting upset with myself and depressed about it. That's what made me decide to finally seek treatment, since I had to do something!

If you don't mind my asking, Unleash, what is your current job, and how was it ADHD-unfriendly?

Thanks!

My motivation? I met an eight year old girl who was diagnosed with a "behaviour" problem and could have been a clone of me at that age. I had no idea there was a name for it. Within months I was reading Driven To Distraction for a friend and found my adult self in the pages of a book. Because ADHD is supposedly overdiagnosed, I read everything I could get my hands on about ADHD and a year and a half later met with a knowledgeable psychiatrist. A trial of meds changed my life.

What's that saying? Something about people changing when the pain of change is less than the pain they are in. You can't make someone do something they don't want to do. It takes guts to put yourself on the line and hope that the medical professional you see can put a name on what you're experiencing.

You need to take really good care of yourself and decide what is best for you in this life. My husband lived with me with all of my gifts and imperfections for twenty years before diagnosis and treatment; the next ten years have been even better. :)

What made me finally admit that I hadn't "grown out" of my ADHD? Getting fired from my job...again. I was at the bottom, emotionally and spiritually. My therapist helped me to see that I wasn't broken just made different. I had assets that I had thought were hinderances. I had skills I thought were negative personality quirks. These last three months have been a wonderful eye-opening experience as I've, for the lack of a better term, embraced my ADHD.

Eric

I was motivated to ask for meds because I am getting a divorce and I find that without my husband around there is little structure left in my life. No organization whatsoever. My house of cards is getting ready to fall, so to speak, and I really need to try the meds, even if there is just a little improvement.

I've been on and off meds since I was seven.
This last time around..I was off of them, by choice for about a year..and my life was complete chaos.
I was written up at work, and taken 'downtown', to our headquarters, for a disciplinary hearing.
I decided that I was sabotaging myself more than helping myself at that point.
So I went back to my doctor the following day..and got back on them again.
Nova

For me it was "hitting the wall" -- my life was falling apart and I was taking my kids down with me. I knew they deserved a lot better and I had already tried my hardest to change. I knew it was time to swallow my pride and get on meds, so that I wouldn't miss their childhood and could be the mom they deserved. Starting meds was incredible -- all of a sudden I was able to relax, listen to a whole conversation, respond more appropriately, and think more clearly. It was also a big ah ha as in "so that's what's been going on all these years".

Guys are tough -- I'm pretty sure mine has ADD, but he doesn't want to hear it. Good luck to you!

Scattered

I think men in general are more cautious about getting themselves help for their problems - that is, I think the issue you are having is not necessarily an ADD issue, although the ADD may make it worse.

Keep in mind that ADDers are very, very easily wounded and offended. Maybe if your DH can be convinced that getting help will show strength on his part, or at least is not a sign of weakness, he may be more likely to accept it.

As for me - I got help when I realized I was about to break down for good and drag my entire family with me. Now I'm functioning on a level I never thought possible before and I'm amuch happier person.

I knew a lot was wrong but then I happened to be watching an ESPN bio on Terry Bradshaw who was talking about his ADD symptoms and they were so parallel with mine that I started to do research. Basically, it didn't make a LICK of sense to know there are problems and NOT get help!
So I scheduled an appointment and the doc started me trying meds. Why would I even worry about a stigma when the real stigma would be just trying to live a problematic life without trying to get better?

My schooling trying to become a court reporter brought out so much anxiety (which led to depression) that I decided to seek out help and was just diagnosed with ADD 3 weeks ago. I am now on Strattera and Zoloft.
I have realized from speaking with my doc and doing research that I've had this all my life, and thinking back on my life, it just amazes me that I've even gotten this far with being fired from nearly every job I've ever held.
Now with my schooling, I have a very important decision to make as whether to continue. I have realized that the constant sitting, having to focus on words without being distracted may be more than I can handle. I am trying the meds and hopefully it will help; if not, I have also realized I need to be in a much more creative position.
I always felt throught my life that something wasn't "just quite right" !!

If you don't mind my asking, Unleash, what is your current job, and how was it ADHD-unfriendly?

Thanks!
It's in tech.

Basically, I work best when there are firm deadlines, where I get feedback from my work, and when there are people who seem to need the results of what I'm working on, etc.

Like many ADHDer's, I have trouble getting started or seeing things to conclusion. I need some motivation or promise of reward (like good feedback, gratitude, etc) for completing the work.

This job, I work mostly unsupervised. When I complete a task, I often get no feedback whatsoever. There's no sense of deadlines. It might sound like a dream job for other people, but it's been rough for someone like me.

Since starting treatment, I've been doing better at it. I still should get off my butt and try to find something else.

I've known I was "different" and that "something's not right" for as long as I can remember. There was many things that finally led me to realize that AD/HD was what's going on with me but why I ultimately ended up seeing a doctor for it recently: my coping skills were no longer working. Daily frustration had reached a point of frequently crying behind closed doors at work. I literally felt like I was going to have a complete breakdown and not be able to function if something wasn't done immediately. My job is not very stressful and my life is okay. It was an internal thing and I needed that "thing" to be addressed.

I want to go back to school...My lack of concentration will make it very difficult for me to do well. I'm not on any meds because I'm afraid of the side effects.

Deb

I want to go back to school...My lack of concentration will make it very difficult for me to do well. I'm not on any meds because I'm afraid of the side effects.
Deb, which side effects are you afraid of?

My motivation was that I was suddenly overwhelmed one day and had no clue as to what the trouble was until I went to the doctor. This is the way adult add often manifests itself.
I wish It had been spotted sooner because I inadvertently created a lot of chaos in my life that would have been a lot less troublesome otherwise.

Me :D

My beautiful baby girls!

I was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 5 and my mother never put me on anything to help me concentrarte adn I can rememebr being in school and being a space cadet(looking out windows and picking my nails),and when i started college I told myself "Sandra,you are not gonna do this anymore",so this is when i decided to do the med thing.

I was already getting treatment for Bipolar Disorder. I figured I had ADHD since I found out what it was when I was a teenager. I decided to go to college a few years ago (have since dropped out during a period of not being on meds) and was having a really hard time concentrating, attending class, and all that good stuff, and just kept complaining to my doc about it, and he started me first on Strattera, which made a WORLD of difference. I was subsequently taken off of it, put back on, taken off, ad nauseum, until it no longer had an effect on me. I was then put on methylphenidate and again the world of difference came back. I'm now on Adderall XR. I never want to go back to how I was. I just don't understand the part of ADHD people not wanting to take their meds. I personally can't stand my obnoxious, hyper, inattentive, "stupid," if you will, self when I'm not on meds.

Mine was a series of event that acted as my wake-up call. i was given the responsibility of a new time- consuming program at work at a time when my household was in chaos. I'd just gotton my son on meds and was seeing a lot of sideaffects that didn't come under the ADHD heading, realized my second child probably had something going on too, and had the biggest fight to date with my husband because I couldn't keep it all together at home anymore. The i read a book on ADHD and there was a paragraph about how hard it is to help someone with ADHD if there is undiagnosed ADHD members in the house. ANd it jumped out at me that it was time.

I've struggled with symptoms from the time I was a child but because I wasn't hyperactive and my father passed away when I was young, everyone thought my inattention was due to that. I actually aknowledged to myself that I probably had ADHD several years earlier when my daughter was diagnosed and I had to fill out questionaires and have conferences with her doctor.

Practically speaking mine was being put on academic probation at college... failing half of my classes one year.

Basically hit bottom with everything else at the same time. I started wrecking my personal relationships one by one because I needed to be alone to "fix myself." Abused painkillers until I was up to potentially lethal amounts every day to "relax" from all the stress. Sleep schedule had descended to two day cycles of 34 hours awake and 14 hour sleeps.

I could have lived with failing out of college, but the self-destructive behaviors could have killed me. That's what finally got me to go.

I was in college and miserable because I was studying and studying and studying and studying and studying but still getting Ds and Fs on tests. I changed around how I was studying and but it didn't help. I got tutors and still, it didn't help my academics.

I was also miserable due to other reasons, so I went to a psychiatrist who evaled and diagnosed me with ADD inattentive.

I immediately went on meds (adderall IR) and have been a happy camper ever since.

I wouldn't be in grad school if I hadn't started Adderall.

My motivation was a few different things. First, I got married-and had to be a wife and deal with a 5,000 square foot house with 2 dogs, 2 cats and a husband! LOL.
Second-I received a promotion at work to be an area manager. Juggling work, laundry, cooking, just life itself was too much for me to bare.

I always suspected I had add.

But living with my husband and him getting angry at me for never listening (I would ask questions over and over because after asking I would just think of something else.)

I would kill myself coming home from work trying to KEEP UP with everything. Go to the store, get laundry done, etc etc. My mom had add growing up (she never took meds and will not admit she has it.) I grew up around piles of crap around the house-mess everywhere, she repeats herself, can't remember anything-my goal once being married was to never have piles laying around, etc. I just couldn't keep up with every day life!