Hi all, I posted on another board on here, but I thought I would get some advice from some other guys. I am almost certain I have ADD, well, I guess I am certain, but it is difficult for me to find help.I'm embarrassed about telling my Doctor. I have a good career, but I am on my 8th job in 8 years, and I just know people will think in the back of their mind that I'm just lazy.

I'm also having a hell of a time convincing my wife. I've tried to talk to her about it several times, but she is convinced that almost everyone shares my traits once in a while. Like tuning out in meetings, forgetting things. The difference is I do it all the time. If I told her how at work I often tune out and stare out the window for up to 2 hours a day, she would be ****ed.

So far I have been able to disguise the job hops with a creative resume, and always leaving for more money before I can be fired. I have been at my new job for 4 months and I'm already slipping.

Like I said, I am embarrassed to death to bring this up to my doc, and I don't want my wife to see me as weak, but I REALLY need help. I did an online test and it said I almost certainly am ADD, although there are some "classic" symptoms that I don't have. Fidgeting for example. I do bob my leg up and down occassionally, but that is about it. Any advice?

Well it sounds to me that your self diagnosing. The one who can diagnose you is a Dr. of Psychology. Your medical Doctor can be a referal if your in a HMO also known as a Health Managment Organization.

Some of the symptoms you mentioned do sound very ADD or ADHD, however, sometimes some people have some of these symptoms yet through further testing find they are OCD, Dyslexic or other. There is no shame in being tested, finding out you are or are not ADHD/ADD.

We people with ADHD/ADD are usually Average to Genius in our intelligence. Yet, somethings, that seem so simple to others can be a challenge with us such as keeping track of our wallet, keys, names, appointments. Socially, we tend to be more outspoken, frank, very open and honest to the mainstream of society we are not potically or socially correct.

Yes, this is a good place to be to meet people, foster understanding, information, and share. Feel free to contact me anytime.

Aloha Kaikona

Why would you be embarassed to bring this up to your doctor? Isn't it his job to help you with medical problems? I'm not trying to be a wiseass, I honestly don't understand why you'd be embarassed to talk to a doctor about it. As for your wife, some people go into denial mode when they think there might be something wrong with someone they love.

Kaikona is correct, though. You should seek out a psychologist. I believe that a psychiatrist or neurologist can diagnose ADD as well. At least, those were the types of doctors I went to as a kid for my ADD.

Feek, I guess I'm still wrestling with guilt. I have a nagging feeling that if I would just try harder, put my nose to the grindstone, etc. it would all get better. It has been going on since I was a kid though. I think the more I educate myself, the more courage I get to face ADD head on. Thanks for the advice.

Hi, My name is Gail and I am taking a evening course at Sheridan College in the Educational Assistant program. For one of our assignments, we have been asked to participate in a discussion group. I chose this particular site because my son
was assessed a few years and it was determined that he had a non-verbal learning disability. I've always felt he was ADD.

Feek, I guess I'm still wrestling with guilt. I have a nagging feeling that if I would just try harder, put my nose to the grindstone, etc. it would all get better. It has been going on since I was a kid though. I think the more I educate myself, the more courage I get to face ADD head on. Thanks for the advice.
For me...that led to more guilt with every failure.

My 2 cents: I'd seek some professional counseling and, if in the counselor's opinion you need them, take the meds.

Your initial post rings so true not only with me but I'm sure with others here.

Hang in there and yes, these forums have been a godsend for me too!

Eric

It's the not knowing that'll drive you nuts........as well as your wife, you gotta find out. Don't fear the answer, fear the continuation of confusion(sounds like a rap song....sorry, got sidetracked.... but hey, that's the fun part)
Wandering around in circles is frustrasting, and finding a direction to go is exhaustingly rewarding. The whole med thing can be a little annoying. side-effects,finding 1(or a combination) that works, remembering to take the (expletive deleted) things on a regular basis, but, hopefully, the end result is worth it. At least it is for me ! ! !

Don't give up ! !

Thanks for all the great advice guys.

Just a little follow up: I just made an appointment today with a psychiatrist. The final straw was this week. I was in a meeting and totally spaced out and I was asked a question and didn't even know what the hell they were talking about. Very embarrassing. I still thought I might just be dumb so I paid 9 bucks for an online Stanford IQ test. I tested 130, so it's obviously something else. I'm hoping the doc can tell me. Thanks again everyone and I'll let you know the final diagnosis.

sqeng69:

I'm glad your going in to get checked. I was in your exact shoes less than two months ago. I'm 30 years old, been through countless jobs, had all the "symptoms" of inattentive ADHD but was too embarressed to go get help. I must tell you, right now I'm very glad that I finally did! I'm going through my trail runs with different meds (ritalin now dexedrine) and they are a Godsend! The difference is almost night and day. Good luck and definitely let us know how it goes.

Speng69

I am also glad to hear your facing the diagnosis. It is better to know, then get training, coaping skills, medication. We have to live in a world where the Normal people are Average Intelligence, Sometimes not understanding or tollerant, sometimes hurt our feelings real deep. But we with the Average to Genuis and the Gift called ADHD. Must preval and move forward with pride, self esteem, and confidence. After all we are just wired differently and are the DSL of the Human Race. (Smile)

Welcome to the Forum

Please check out this book: The ADHD Book of Lists by Sandra Rief (2003)

She has taken the research of the last 15 years or so and organized them by category and then put all of them into list form w/references.

One of the current 15 working (operational) definitions of ADHD (which are on the 1st 2 pages) is :
"ADHD is a dimensional disorder of human behaviors that all people exhibit at times to certain degrees."

THE definitive operational defintion of what constitutes a "Disorder (of any kind/not just ADHD )" can be found in the journal article.... International Consensus 2002.

It's available at Russ Barkley's website or at www.chadd.org

Briefly stated, a true "disorder" is one that creates "Impairments in major life activities that cause harmful dysfunction."

For kids, that would entail school, chores and peer relationships. Later on, you'd add driving a car.

For adults, it's occupational ,relationships, educational and driving.

There's a whole section on Risk Factors in Rief's book that show all the negative outcomes for untreated ADHD.

The caveat tho is that most of those apply to the Hyperactive -Impulsive & Combines types, and not the Inattentive type (the old ADD).

ADHD is classified as a developmental disability because the symtpoms create "impairments" for people with ADHD,while the non -ADHD person isn't negatively effected.

The "impairments" are different than what your same age peers would do.

ADHD is a very complicated disorder.

The good news is that it's also the most widely researched childhood disorder on earth.

Good luck.
mctavish23 (Robert)