I have taken the ADD questionaire, and of course it says I have it along with 99.9% of others who took the questionaire.

But seriously, I am getting desperate to find out what is wrong with me. I've tried so many medications, and have not had improvement in quality of life. most doctors say i am depressed, but the medications don't work, and make things worse.

Please help me understand something. Would someone with ADD have attention for detail, or just the opposite. I have been a "space case" for all my life, and my mom has that same trait. I am fairly smart, and do well in my highly technical programming career, but my attention to detail (e.g. listening to people, noticing what color their eyes are, how they look, remembering about them) sucks. I feel like my thoughts are racing and never really listen to people.

Can't remember names, can't remember anything, i can't do anything unless I take something to pick me up (e.g. diet pills with ephedra, caffeine, etc.) and then I feel "sharper". A few experimentations with "coke" were very positive. So, yes, i guess i have abused and self medicated some. i have used ephedra since high school as i needed it.

I noticed one time after smoking weed (many years ago...) that I was able to see details in people, and conversations that i can't see now. It seems like my thoughts are jumping and I can't focus. If there is anyone else who has smoked that stuff I'm talking about and knows what I mean? I become very, very depressed the next day after that stuff because I realize how much I am missing in life that I can't even look at people in the eyes and REALLY listen to them or see body language. I have many friends, but wonder why.

I know this diagnosis is for my doctor, but it just isn't working. i'm about to give up and just self medicate with things that work.

Am I looking in the wrong place? This can't be normal, my life is slipping away year by year and it just isn't right.

help.
Rman

Hi RMAN,

I'll break my response down as follows, but consider the following an opinion and not in any way medical advice:

The ADD questionaires are only a guide to help give a posible indication. they should always be followed by step 2; a visit to an ADD qualified doctor who can do a proper evaluation.

ADD and attention to detail. ADDers can have high attention to detail when hyperfocusing; and some can do it all the time. You may also consider that ADDers minds tend rarely to stay on one subject for long, and social skills are a known area where poor concentration occurs. Link this with poor short term memory; and you find that you probably did see their eyes; but the conversation was not stimulating enough so your mind wandered; and your short term memory failed you.

ADD isn't like a broken leg; where you can look at an xray and say..yep, there's the problem. ADD is symptom based and you do indicate some symptoms and therefore should be checked properly..by a knowledgable doctor.

As to smoking weed; can't help much there other than to say that cannaboloids affect the alpha-d2 noradrenaline receptor. When it attaches to this receptor; it slows peoples thinking down. If a normal speed thinker takes weed; they go into a semi-dozing state. What you may be finding is it slows your brain down from fast to normal which is why you notice the difference. On the down side; what little short term memory you may have; will get worse using weed. I strongly suggest against it, as there are lots of other nasties in addition to the memory problems. Being illegal probably doesn't help the issue either.

Diet pills with ephedra and caffeine are both dopamine stimulants. ADD medications are mostly dopamine stimulants; and what you are doing with the diet pills and coffee is self medicating what may in fact be ADD. It might also be a neurological dopamine delivery system problem also. Caffeine in the long run is a bad self-medication as it can alter the neurological system and a tolerance can build up(receptors down regulate the stimulation).

My suggestion; is to contact a local ADD support group, and maybe CHADD who can recommend an ADD doctor in your area. Local doctors are good at what they know; but ADD is more of a specialist type condition and as such; find a doctor who is ADD aware.

Hope this is of some help.

Sleepz

Well.

A lot of very tallented artists have thought that street drugs have improved their vision. They die or they get sober. They rarely hold with the idea that the drugs really helped, or that they are a "good" was to go...

You should know that the "munchies" don't really make the food different, just the subjective appreciation of the objective that is ALWAYS there.

I didn't miss your point. But i bet an objective measure would indicate that your ABILITY to capture details remains unchanged.

Enough of the street drugs arguements.

the forum is full of peole who have varying lenghts of time dealing with KNOWing they are ADD or ADHD or Combined (that's me).

The length of diagnosis is one thing, age is another. Likewise there are organisations like CHADD and ADDA, etc. and meeting real people in real time and space can be a great aid to calibrating your sense of reality. i recommend it to you.

Check out what you are good at. You mentioned programming, which is detailed. i am a computer programmer too. i can't remember anyone's names, eye color... ok nope. i can't do that either. So f***ing what? (filming, froging, what ever could i have meant???)

Ya it can be irritating.

Lack of making memories can make time slip by. I have a friend who journals to keep track of what he is thinking and to be able to know who he was when he knows he isn't going to remember "unaided."

My advice? Pay attention to what you know you know. Don't waste time trying being what you know you can't. appreciate your strenghts. Set yorself up to get appreciation for them. Hire everything else do!

good luck and welcome. david

I don't recommend staying on the drugs... self medicating does work, but only in the short term, over the long term, it makes ADD symptoms worse according to everything I have read.

You SOUND like you belong here, BTW. If I was you... I would simply keep coming back, keep talking, keep reading. Sooner or later your intuition will decide for you whether or not you believe you are one of the bunch.

"The bunch" will certainly be happy to accept you as an equal in the meantime. :D

Have any of the Drs ever considered that yoy may have anxiety as a co-existing condition? Many times when people have anxiety stimilant medication can make the anxiety worse if it's not taken with anti-anxiety medication or SSRIs.

Often time people with Anxiety and/or AD/HD self medicate with marijuana. It does seem to have a calming effect.

If you are feeling worse after you smoke then it really isn't helping.

As for whether ADDers pay attention to detail...the answer is yes and no. There are something that we hyperfocus on and notice the detail of. Then there are other things that we don't even notice.

Wow, thanks for all the nice replies. :-) I REALLY appreciate them all.

I agree with you all about the illicit meds issue. I surprisingly have not had a problem with keeping away from them, but admit to being intrigued with the responses and what they mean.

My current doctor diagnoses me with depression, and anxiety.

I have been unhappy most my life and can't figure out why. So, I've been treated with just about every anti-depressant in the books. Nothing really works. I don't think I am that depressed though, just not happy.

Here are some things that happened throughout my life that made me strart to wonder about ADD.

Always need change. We were averaging one move per year for the first 10 years of our marriage. I have lost thousands gambling in the stock market. Lost thousands in sales and purchases of homes. Never had a car for more than two years until recently now we are so buried in debt I can't change it. I can't gamble in the stock market any more because I lost all our savings. The things I enjoyed thru life had to involve two things... risk... or change...

As a child I raced dirtbikes, was not happy unless I was jumping my bicycle. In high school I would make explosives for fun (I lived in the country so this was feasible). Racing snowmobiles at 100mph. ATV's Anything to get the adrenaline pumping.

Now... you would think it is over... at 35 years old I have a supercharger installed on my car to make it FASTER. What the hell is wrong with me!? I should have told this stuff to my doctor.

I have never learned to think about consequences. I think I am a little better, but gosh you would think so as I am a damn grown adult.

Anyway, thanks for listening. It felt good.

R

Ya sure, you should have told this to your doctor.

but do it now.

i have taken to writing up a list on the computer and taking in two copies, one for me and one for him.

He likes it, and I like it, and everything gets handled, or deliberately put on hold until something else is done or known. No more accidents of missing considering something.

So don't consider it is over. Go talk to him again, but even before that, just print out wha you've already writen, and mail it, or fax it or email it or drive it over to his office. You don't have to wait for an appointment to deliver it. (courriers only cost $10 to $25...)

The important thing, in my opinion, is to give him this history to work with, all of it, and literally ASK for a refferal to evaluate you for AD(H)D.

then let that lead where it must. My advice?: quit beating up on yourself and take this step: inform your doctor and ask for an evaluation.

then relax for a bit. maybe take up Rugby (no motors, cheaper equipment, very physically demanding...) :) Good luck!

Originally posted by theRMan
My current doctor diagnoses me with depression, and anxiety.

I have been unhappy most my life and can't figure out why. So, I've been treated with just about every anti-depressant in the books. Nothing really works. I don't think I am that depressed though, just not happy.

R

This was me, R. Rode the AD merry-go-round (hee hee anti-depressant and "merry" -go-round--isn't that an oxymoron?) for YEARS before ADD dx. My doc told me that many times depression and anxiety are symptoms that present in ADD patients...depression from past failures (perceived or real), boredom, restlessness, etc.

I agree with the folks above: print out these posts, take 'em to your doc. Learn as much as you can about ADHD--knowledge is POWER! And keep posting here. We all want you to find what you're seeking, and we'll help all we can! :cool: