View Full Version : Need help learning to deal with a child that is Bi Polar and had an ODD diagnosis.

10-23-05, 09:44 PM
Any suggestions on dealing with a child that has been diagnosed with Bi Polar and ODD would be a great help. On top of everything else she is severly depressed, believes there is no such thing as God and in the last week has tried to commit suicide. I don't know what to do for her other than be there. Right now she is in lockdown at a hospital in Nebraska. She should be getting out soon and I want to be prepared on what to look for and what to do. She showed no signs of any depression on her last suicide attempt. She is on Lamictal, Seraquel ( which they are upping her dose a little at a time), and Lexapro. Are these bad medications??? Please anyone with any experience dealing with the behaviors tell me what has worked for you so that I may try to help her in anyway that I can. Thanks

10-23-05, 10:26 PM
There is a good subsection in the forums that has good background info on BiP.
Here is one recent thread that is informative. Most of all know that disorder inside and out, especially as it relates to children.

This website looked good.

specific message boards on bip
There may be a better one but this is only one I could find after a brief search.

reccommend book

10-26-05, 06:55 PM
Hey 2kids how are you doing today?

Sorry, its taken me so long to get to you but we just got our computer up and running today. It would seem that I did in fact pay October's bill so when I called to have my service re-instated I ended up paying for November's service before I was required to :rolleyes: . After some investigation Doug noticed that one of us jitter bugs had disconnected the server cable from the modem :faint: ~~good news is I'm a month ahead on my internet bill which will come in handy next month)

I have a hard time sharing things face to face and talking about Dakota's suicide attempt always reduces me to tears, I'm sorry that I couldn't rise to the occation and share with you my experiances in person. I like to think of myself as a "Super Girl" :p who can do anything and conquere anything stupid enough to step in my way. To show weakness is a frightening business.

When Koda tried to hang himself there were a lot of signs that we overlooked as normal teen angst or a cry for attention. I mean seriously our child couldn't possibly be suicidal, could he?

It was a question we didn't dare voice out loud not even with each other. That would mean we had somehow failed our son, had screwed up, been awful parents. We now know the truth is we did in fact fail our son, when the first troublesome signs started to appear we should have admitted we didn't have a clue and screamed for help at the top of our lungs until someone heard us.

We've slowly come to realize that there is some truth to the quote "it takes a village to raise a child". We've learned to ask for help, to admit our weakness's and most important how to lean on friends when the burden gets too heavy. Trust me there will be many days when the helplessness and feelings of confusion overwhelm you, when those days come you not only have the forums to vent and cry. But, you also have my number~~I've been there, I understand you won't always need an active partner in the conversation but rather someone to just hear you, when those days come, set your pride aside and pick up the phone.

I've gotten some wonderful advice from members, I've kept some and left some ideas for others to try first.

The best idea I heard was journaling not only for your daughter but the entire family. Buy everyone a journal fitting their personalities and at the end of everyday or when the occasion or thought arises everyone writes something positive in other family members journals. Its written evidance that can be accessed at any time "This is why I am loved, this is why I need to live". Your family can look at these journals anytime they are feeling low or unappreciated.

Journaling for your daughter, I know she writes poetry but journaling is a little different in she honestly goes over her day and how she felt. You may even be able to see a pattern after awhile~~we noticed that Koda's most low time is from November to February, we watch him especially close during these months. Your daughter will also be able to see that a bad day is just that~~a bad day, it doesn't last forever. Koda has talked to me about his journaling and said that when he feels like hurting himself he'll read his journal that way he can see that he's felt worse and it always gets better.

I don't want to overload you right now, I'll add more later and if you need to pick up the darn phone!!!!


11-04-05, 11:34 PM

Got my internet back up and running. Thanks for the advice on journaling. I'm going to try that. She loves to write and it would be a great way to find out what her patterns are so I will know when her down times are most likely to occur. I also took your advice on the being paid for school stuff and it's working. They are both doing their schoolwork now and Saturday while I was at work, she actually clean house, even washed dishes without me asking her to do so. She said she wanted to surprise me and let me have the afternoon to relax. It was great. Thanks so much. Hope to see you soon.

01-03-06, 11:45 PM
I have three kids, two boys, 11 and 16 both diagnosed adhd/bipolar. My daughter is 15 and shows only signs of hyperactivity. The oldest has been hospitalized 5 times and the youngest his first time was a week or so before this past Christmas. The oldest I went through a great deal with trying hard to find what it sounds like your looking for. Triggers, anything and everything that can alert me to another possible relapse.

My oldest now takes trileptal and zoloft, for the past year they have worked well with him. My youngest can still take the stimulants, so far, Concerta and lithium. We just started lithium but so far it has been helping. Of course there is no wonder medication and not all can take the same medications as the others. It all depends on the child.

The things that I watch for of course is the sudden lack of wanting to participate in anything, withdrawl so on. I keep everything locked up (meds especially). During times of depression I do the out of site out of mind technique by making sure scissors, anything sharp is out of site. Just makes me feel safer. My oldest has tried to commit suicide twice. One overdose and one where he put his hand through a glass window and cut himself up on the wrists...while I was on the phone with crises response. Don't be afraid to call for help when needed. Most crises response centers are willing to help you. The hospital personel should give you this information upon your daughter's leaving. A crises intervention/prevention.

The depression is so hard to work with but you can work with it. I usually try to get them to open up..find out where they are by using a number system. 1 being really depressed, 10 being at the top of the world happy. This works great especially if others are around that they may not want to know about their condition? I'm not sure about the rages or if you have this problem with your daughter. I do with my son's where everything is blankty blank and things start flying and being knocked over.

I can now tell when this is about to take place..I notice the eyes gloss if they aren't even there. I can't talk to them until they de-esculate so I end up restraining them so nobody including themselves get hurt. Of course since my oldest is too much for me to restrain I call for help if needed. But since his last hospitalization I haven't had to do this. With my youngest I still do. I learned not to address them by name. Not to yell at them, doesn't do any good, just restrain (hug hold) until they eventually come out of it. Then we can talk and address whatever it was that set them there in the first place.

I also learned to make them responsible for their actions a must. My oldest learned the hard way through the juvenile system and was ordered to take his medication, curfew so on. Since he is doing great in school stays on his medication and working hard on his grades. Hardest thing a parent has to do is call the police on their own child..but I had to in order to make it clear that he had to take responsibility for his own actions, disorder or not.

One reason for this is society will not tolerate those outbursts and they must learn to control them on their own. I try to teach them to learn where they are in their own depression or mania. To know when to ask for help. Know when they themselves know something isn't right. Maybe an adjustment of medication is needed. I just have to keep a very open mind, have a lot of patience. And most of all let them know I love them for who they are no matter what has happened.

They hate their disorders, they hate not being in control and they strive for that. They want to be just like any other child..and they can be with a good group of people there for them..I call it a network of helpers. Like if they can't talk to me or their father, a neighbor, friend or loved one. As long as they are talking and know that this person is there it really helps. At the school a councelor or a casemanager through the hospital that they can call at anytime. You can never have enough help. Counceling is a great tool as well. Atleast until you daughter feels comfortable enough to deal with this disorder on her own.

Caution here. At times she may feel that she is just fine..don't need medication, councelors so on..this is part of the disorder. They began to feel like they are fine once the medications and therapy are working and they are balanced. Then they start thinking they don't need it. Don't let her fall into this's a long road ahead and without those medications and counceling the road is even longer. If she stops her meds it takes a long time to get back to that balanced point.

I hope this helps you or anyone else out there that reads this. At times we as parents might feel like just giving up, feel like we are up against a brick wall..but as long as we keep trying and keep going our children will follow. Anytime you need just to chat or get something off your mind let me know. I'm here...I no longer work. I stay at home to help my children make it in this world full of triggers, depressors and school so they can make it in society later. Not easy finacially but I chose to put my kids first no matter what it took. Good luck to you and your daughter. I hope things work out for you both.:)

01-04-06, 12:28 AM
The Parents Guide to Attention Deficit Disorder by Stephen McCarney & Angela Marie Bauer (Hawthorne Press), is the absolute best behavior management book for ADHD & behavior problems I've ever seen.

Totally practical. No theory.Just things you can do today/right now.

Research supports a home token economy/behavior management program that emphasizes a balance between rewards & natural and logical consequences, as the ONLY therapeutic technique that works for hyperactivity.

Good luck:)