View Full Version : ADHD and Intimacy


Fidge
10-26-05, 11:05 PM
This may or may not seem like a random question but does anyone here

find it a bit hard to be intimate with someone they like (girlfrined or

boyfriend) cos sorry to use this word but gets bored sometimes, and

finds it hard to concentrate on "the moment" cos although you are

enjoying it you wanna do something else, or you say stuff that aren't

intimate-moment related, like you bringing up the topic of trees or

random slogan t-shirts, mid way sort of thing. anyone else have any

thoughts on this, cos i would like to know if it is common!

speedo
10-27-05, 12:53 AM
I think that is pretty typical for ADHD. I do it a lot.

Me :D

Fidge
10-27-05, 12:37 PM
k. anyone else feel the same.

livinginchaos
10-28-05, 01:41 AM
I was just about to send you to the link below, fidge!
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19337&page=1&pp=15

But, I see you found the above thread already :)

Crybaby1898
10-28-05, 01:50 AM
yeah i have done that. thats funny my man always get ****ed off at me.

justhope
11-04-05, 05:28 PM
Yep,

And it doesn't change over the years. I have been with the same guy for 13 years...sometimes he does the same thing to me!
We don't get to mad about it anymore!
Normal!

Toby
11-04-05, 07:45 PM
In those sorts of situations, I normally hyperfocus. Although with a particular partner I started bringing up random crap. She was also ADD and always did it, which got me into the habit. It's cute really.

I think it's issues like these that the understanding of an ADD partner is invaluable.

cyclops
08-13-06, 06:02 PM
haha that totally happens to me!

Faylen
08-13-06, 08:58 PM
It's a terrible problem. First, getting over the dislike of being touched. Then trying to put up with being touched that's not exactly right, without getting your partner angry because, after all, he's not a mind reader. Then trying to concentrate really, really hard on what's going on so you enjoy yourself, which makes your partner feel (sometimes justifiably so) that you're not really paying attention to the whole interactive part of it, which, of course, you pick up on, which destroys your concentration, which ruins the whole thing for you, which makes you even more reluctant to his advances the next time. . .

Aizlyne
08-13-06, 09:03 PM
I"ve never expierienced discomfort on a romantic level but I have never liked being touched unexpectedly by friends or family. I don;t like being hugged unlesss I know it's coming way in advance. I hate sleeping in the same tent with someone when I go camping. They always roll to close to me. they might not even be touching me, but my personal space is invaded. very uncomfortable.


Does medication help anyone with this sensory issue?

X-Man
08-13-06, 09:21 PM
Intimacy should start over if it isn't the kiss that comes second to the smile you each get from seeing each other. The talking of what tommorrow will hold should excite you as long as you know you will have eyes sight of each other that day. Imagine if married people agreed to only make love on the weekends so they would enjoy it's anticipation for the other days. Being In Love is when the world dissappear.

X-Man

Chele77
08-14-06, 06:57 AM
I"ve never expierienced discomfort on a romantic level but I have never liked being touched unexpectedly by friends or family. I don;t like being hugged unlesss I know it's coming way in advance. I hate sleeping in the same tent with someone when I go camping. They always roll to close to me. they might not even be touching me, but my personal space is invaded. very uncomfortable.

Me too. I love being touched by my hubby, my cat, and my dog. That's where it ends. I don't like being touched by anyone else and I don't like it when people stand over my shoulder and watch what I am doing.

Sometimes, I get really distracted by strange things when it comes to sex, like the dog snoring on the floor, so I get laughing and can't stop. My NT hates it. Also, when I start getting distracted like this I reccently try telling him I need a day off, then, when it happens, I am so happy I don't notice the dog snoring.:)

supersomeone
05-13-08, 06:09 PM
I feel the same way. Very disconnected from ppl sometimes.I am trying to be be more open to my BF's touch. I don't get why it is something of difficulty any ideas ?

whitedaikan
05-19-08, 07:34 PM
I definately have experienced this problem but it does get better with time. You just gotta be extra motivated during the act and tell yourself to concentrate and if you wander a little bit don't beat yourself up for it. One thing I have discovered with my inattentive adhd is that I have to 'force' myself to 'act enthused' alot when I am around people, not just around gfs. I do this because I feel better and generally have a better time with people when I mentally 'nudge' myself to focus on them and not wander too much. Sometimes when I am in a car on my way to see a gf I kind of mentally prepare- even if nothing physical is gonna happen, I just prepare for conversation or tell myself to buck up so I don't bring negative energy into the room.

Lol I have said many a stupid things while 'intimate' and often wandered in thought, so don't despair- it is common! and I don't think it is relegated to the adhd community. ok ok back to reading about russia now- hope that helps!

Fuse
07-24-08, 07:49 AM
It sucks because sometimes the chick thinks you're not into them.

And it sucks more because sometimes it turns out you aren't.

And then a year later, after many messages back and forth, and much flirting every time you see eachother (especially if drunk), you wonder if you really were bored or just over-analysing things.

*cough*

ADDmommy247
08-06-08, 04:22 PM
I think this happends to most ADDers. There are times half way through I start thinking about what we should have for dinner the next day. LOL.

Mincan
08-06-08, 05:12 PM
Aye it happens. **** happens.

Prusilusken
08-06-08, 06:09 PM
Yepsyeps...happens even when I'm all new in love most times.
But when it doesn't, it so good! :D

Not a problem for the time being, tho...no one to get upset about that part of me now ;)

Michiko74
08-14-08, 09:26 AM
You know what? Don't pass by the quick, ADHD friendly ways of being intimate with someone. Ever wrapped your arms around someone when they're doing the dishes? Or grabbing your guy/gal's hand in the store and giving it a tight squeeze?

They may seem like the most ordinary of thing. Yet when they happen in those unexpected moments, it's sweeter than a 100 nights of physical intimacy. And they can happen all day. I doubt you'll ever hear a complaint from your love there about 'too much' handholding!

bustom
08-14-08, 09:42 PM
my relationship with my girl just fine