View Full Version : Constantly checking yourself


jmarx75
10-30-05, 09:13 AM
I'll try to describe this feeling that I have as I think it helps to keep me sad and lonely. There actually is a girl right now, who is crazy enough to go out with me.
She is pretty wild and a free spirit. We go out and go to a dance club and she dances like crazy and I have a hard time keeping up and she often tells me I need to "loosen up". But when I'm out with her, it seems i need to donate so much energy towards not making a fool out of myself, that it is very hard to live in the moment. You know how our minds tend to wander. Well that has led to many problems for me. When I'm in a situation like this, I tend to think too much because I'm worried that I'll say/do something stupid. I'd probably be better off just laying back and allowing myself to do something dumb, in order to make sure I'm 100% there. And it's not just with women, I find myself always having these "reality checks" and trying to make sure I'm paying attention to what I'm doing. These moments can be quite painful. The goal of this thinking is to make sure I'm not doing anything dumb, but it often turns out that the thoughts can be negative like "oh yeah this is who you are" and that depresses me. Since I haven't ever been able to have a successful relationship with a woman, I have a tough time not thinking negatively about it. I do have fun on dates and try as hard as I can not to think like that, but I'm not always very successful at that. Anyways, that is my vent for the day. Sometimes it just feels good to write things down and get my feelings out there. Thanks for listening.

VickiS
10-30-05, 10:50 AM
Even at my age it still bugs the heck out of me when people tell me to "lighten up"

What makes you think that just because your mood is not matching hers at a given moment you are wrong?
Believe me most of the “wild ones” are playing a role when they are out dancing,

There are not many true free spirits out there, and when you are with them they make you feel wonderful not lacking and self conscious.

Stay true to yourself

jmarx75
10-30-05, 01:56 PM
I think im the one who makes me feel self-consious. She is just trying to get me to open up a little, which could be a good thing. I'm just self-consious by default. Of course it gets to the point where it doesnt help anything, and if anything, it can actually hurt the situation.As much as i know i should let go and enjoy myself, im having very hard time actually doing so. Thanks for the message ;+)

SnappyCloud
10-30-05, 05:15 PM
Next time I'm with a group of outgoing free spirits, I might shout "hey guys, let's get a little uptight" (conform to MY standards!)