Recently a Receiptionist quit. Alledged it was because I told her she was stupid and did not do her work right.

As I told the president, I never said such a thing. I did make some suggestions on how she was answering the telephone especiallin Spanish where she was using words not as appropriate for business use. I have been with the company since it opened, I have helped many people. I am no longer a Manager, however, I saw no harm in providing a suggestion. Wow does anyone else catch hell because of things like this having ADHD?

Though I don't have ADD, I noticed you hadn't got other responses yet, so thought I'd pip in with my 2 cents if that's ok.

One thing I have noticed (via experience!) is that there is a wide range of acceptance of "helpful criticism", especially when provided by someone other than their direct manager/supervisor.

For myself, i dont personally appreciate someone else telling me how to do things unless they have some appropriate authority to do so, or if they say it in a very very very nice and "magic" way that doesnt' get my hairs bristling.

Although one would think that a simple insightful suggestion would be appreciated, it's not always so, and you don't k now how the person is feeling at the time. Sounds like the receptionist already had some personal issues about her performance and/or she was very sensitive to criticism and allowed your comment to really mess with her self confidence.

So, yes, I have made the same mistake as you, but luckily the person didn't quit...but what I did learn is that if i have some concern about a person's performance, I should mention it to the person's boss first, and let the boss take the corrective action toward the staff member.

Maybe you had a great suggestion, but maybe, like in my situation, the receptionist would have been more comfortable if her boss redirected her.

I always assume that people are as sensitive to criticism as i am, now, and I try never to directly criticize someone else's staff. So far it's working....!

Good luck with that one!

cs

Just thought I'd put in my 2 cents. I do know that one of the things that has torn my marriage apart is impulsively jumping in with suggestions to help my wife out with something she's working on. I did discover not to do this after awhile, but now that I can look back on it in retrospect, I realize that nobody really wants suggestions on how to do something unless they ask, or at least make that assumption.