OK, first time poster and too distracted to read tons of posts to get to one that will answer my questions. I hope you will forgive me for asking about what I assume many before me have.

Quick History: I have been treated for bipolar disorder for about 12 years VERY successfully. No mood problems whatsoever as long as I take my Prozac. I never had many problems with extreme mania and stopped taking Depakote when I had my first child. I've done rather well in school thanks to a pretty high IQ and good discipline, but I'm finally at a point when I actually have to DO the reading :eek:;). I'm having a VERY difficult time focusing both during my studies and in performing, and it is CRUCIAL that I get this under control. I'm trying to get through qualifying exams, the last big thing before embarking on a dissertation.

Now, I KNOW I have severe attention problems. I have terrible headaches and completely shut down when I try to read. I can't stay awake in lectures. I can't stop my legs and feet from moving. I make TONS of stupid, silly mistakes. I can't stay with one task. Etc. Etc. Etc. The pressure of these exams has magnified my symptoms GREATLY.

As I said, I HAVE to get this under control and NOW.

I very much need to hear from adults who are medicated successfully. I need to know that, if I add meds, I will be able to think more clearly. Someone please tell me there is hope!

Barby

There is hope. For reading, I found a 3X5 index card used to underline the sentence I was looking at to be helpful. It was able to bring my wandering eyes back to where I was reading much easier, so I could be a little less distracted. Get the habit, it helps, and the card makes a nice book marker. :p

If you legs want to move, let them, :eek: just worry about getting through the class/exam as best you can. Try to not turn on to worries and distractions (yea I know it sounds SO impossible). Just do what you have to do.


OK, first time poster and too distracted to read tons of posts to get to one that will answer my questions. I hope you will forgive me for asking about what I assume many before me have.

I found that I could not prevent myself from making mistakes, but I also found that I could use redundancy to catch my mistakes. On an exam, I would make sure that I had looked at each question 3 times, to be sure I gave a sane answer.

In research , I would make notes along the way and then repeat my tests and observations, making new notes, then I would justify the two together (cyclic redundancy as a check). In any case my method was iterative, highly structured, and designed to trap errors, knowing that I was going to make them. I had a system for doing things and if I held to it , I did better than if I simply went straight at a task...

If you feel a need to be odd, well, by all means, be odd, :faint: but be good at what you do, and take the time to check your work. ;) Structure, structure , structure your work habits and environmant and stick to it. :)


Good luck!

Me :D



Quick History: I have been treated for bipolar disorder for about 12 years VERY successfully. No mood problems whatsoever as long as I take my Prozac. I never had many problems with extreme mania and stopped taking Depakote when I had my first child. I've done rather well in school thanks to a pretty high IQ and good discipline, but I'm finally at a point when I actually have to DO the reading :eek:;). I'm having a VERY difficult time focusing both during my studies and in performing, and it is CRUCIAL that I get this under control. I'm trying to get through qualifying exams, the last big thing before embarking on a dissertation.

Now, I KNOW I have severe attention problems. I have terrible headaches and completely shut down when I try to read. I can't stay awake in lectures. I can't stop my legs and feet from moving. I make TONS of stupid, silly mistakes. I can't stay with one task. Etc. Etc. Etc. The pressure of these exams has magnified my symptoms GREATLY.

As I said, I HAVE to get this under control and NOW.

I very much need to hear from adults who are medicated successfully. I need to know that, if I add meds, I will be able to think more clearly. Someone please tell me there is hope!

Barby

Nothing is important enough to lose your peace of mind over. You know this, and that is why you are suffering. Perfection is the ultimate moving target that we never obtain. It is the carrot on the end of the stick that you will never bite. Let go of the image of yourself that you feel you need to maintain for the world to love and respect you. Love yourself with no condition. Stop punishing yourself for not being something you can never be. Light some candle and make a bubble bath for yourself. Relax and practice loving yourself unconditionally. Then remember why you started this journey in the first place. Remember your going to school by choice, and the reason you chose is because of your passion. We have to make the choice every day. If your passion is not there today look for it because it is there. Once you locate your passion, success will return to something you enjoy instead of something you need to conquer.

A stimulant, such as adderall, may help you refocus.

Thank you speedo & abre. I appreciate the time you've taken.
I don't think, though, that I was really clear with what I'm looking for in this thread.

There is hope. For reading, I found a 3X5 index card used to underline the sentence I was looking at to be helpful. It was able to bring my wandering eyes back to where I was reading much easier, so I could be a little less distracted. Get the habit, it helps, and the card makes a nice book marker. :p
Thanks. I'll try that. Now how do you control the wandering mind?;)


I found that I could not prevent myself from making mistakes, but I also found that I could use redundancy to catch my mistakes. On an exam, I would make sure that I had looked at each question 3 times, to be sure I gave a sane answer.

I'm not giving excuses here, but this advice is great for your normal exams. Those I don't have trouble with. I may not do as well as I could, but I still manage to do fine, and you don't take many of those in grad school.

My problem now is ORAL EXAMS. Can't MAKE the mistakes; there's no ability to catch them before they're "out there". Strategies will not solve this problem. I need to know that medication will help me focus.

And Abre: Passion isn't the problem. I refuse to accept that I cannot earn a PhD. I know the material. Yes, I'm upset and full of anxiety right now, but it's appropriate to the situation.

I greatly appreciate the pep talk, but what I am really looking for is assurances that this problem can be treated successfully. I'd like to hear from someone who feels they've improved.

Thanks for listening.

I think meds can help with being less distracted during oral exams, as they would for any exam.

However, I also think a key part to oral exams is practicing in front of other people so you get used to the anxiety and stress of talking in front of people.

Meds have greatly helped me take tests better. It helps me to concentrate and not speed through tests.

But, I cannot say that meds have helped with the anxiety and stress of speaking in front of people.

The only things that have helped me with that is practicing in front of people, videotaping me giving the speech and knowing my stuff forwards and backwards.


I hope I answered your question(s)!

This may be more things that aren't helpful, but I am going to give it a shot.

A couple things struck me as I read your stuff:
Look back at your history and notice...if you are anything like I am, I absolutely FREAK myself out every time I want to make no mistakes on schoolwork or tests, and then after I am done and I get my results back, I always did fine. It is like I need to freak out to do well???

Another very helpful tip, if you haven't done it already, is to take a personality test. I find that much of what could be labeled as ADHD is just a personality characteristic. When looking at problems (especially speaking) through personality types, I have found that there are "answers" for what I can do about my type. The most helpful part about this approach though, is it taught me that there is a whole percentage of the population that is this type and so my issues are not all a "disability" (which I choose to believe ADHD is not), they are what X% of the population acts like. Very interesting stuff. If you haven't taken a P-Test, a good site to visit is: Personalitypage.com and for $5 you can buy a password which allow you to take the test. I found it necessary to take the test with someone who knew me very well to bounce the questions off of.

I do not speak too well, so I don't know how to improve that. I write decently, but due to my extremely extraverted personality, I blurt my thoughts out before I think about them...in fact I don't really know my thoughts until I say them. For me to learn to speak better, I had to first forgive myself for believing I was airheaded, and then I had to have faith in my ability to speak from the hip. I know that I think better when I don't rehearse and when I think better, I believe I speak better. I still wish I could speak with better vocabulary, but that is a whole other subject.

Good luck.

And CONGRATULATIONS on your PhD, WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. If you don't mind me asking, what subject?

You really can't control the wandering mind. You work around it. This is why I used a cyclic redundancy in my woirk. I knew Id not get it perfectly right the first time, so I planned on doing it once and then refining it multiuple times
hypwerorgaqnizing my material also helped compensate for the lack of organization that being a tade scattered can cause too...

ME :D


Thank you speedo & abre. I appreciate the time you've taken.
I don't think, though, that I was really clear with what I'm looking for in this thread.


Thanks. I'll try that. Now how do you control the wandering mind?;)


I'm not giving excuses here, but this advice is great for your normal exams. Those I don't have trouble with. I may not do as well as I could, but I still manage to do fine, and you don't take many of those in grad school.

My problem now is ORAL EXAMS. Can't MAKE the mistakes; there's no ability to catch them before they're "out there". Strategies will not solve this problem. I need to know that medication will help me focus.

And Abre: Passion isn't the problem. I refuse to accept that I cannot earn a PhD. I know the material. Yes, I'm upset and full of anxiety right now, but it's appropriate to the situation.

I greatly appreciate the pep talk, but what I am really looking for is assurances that this problem can be treated successfully. I'd like to hear from someone who feels they've improved.

Thanks for listening.

Thank you, all, for the helpful, hopeful comments.

Let me update you all.

First, I'm a completely different person today. My third day on Adderall and I'm incredibly hopeful. While it hasn't stopped my mind from wandering, I can now bring it back to the task without pain (it was getting to the point where I felt actually intense PAIN whenever I tried to read). I've been able to read and understand the text the FIRST time. In addition, I have been able to come up with DETAILED answers to questions that I know will be asked of me. Prior to Tuesday, I could talk big-picture, but the details were elusive. Now I feel like I could do this tomorrow & PASS!:D

I'm actually glad that the medication hasn't forced me to focus; I have been a multi-tasker all my life & I actually don't want that to change!

Regarding the speaking: I actually teach upper-division courses with no problem whatsoever. Three days a week I lecture for hours. There is just something about being evaluated by 4 experts whose opinion is important that made me completely shut down. That, and there is SO much riding on it! I agree that doing "mock" orals will help me with the process. I am planning to ask some colleagues to drill me on several topics so that I get used to answering questions from people that matter to me.

BTW, my PhD, strangely enough, is in Cognitive Psychology. Believe it or not, I study visual attention.....:o Of course, I'm not a clinical researcher, so I've never studied deficits in attention, but I'm thinking of some interesting topics for my dissertation that I think will contribute to work toward treatments for ADD.

The idea of "symptoms" being "personality" is an interesting topic that I often discuss when I teach introductory classes. The definition of "personality" is not exactly clear. Nor is the definition of "normality". This topic makes for some interesting discussion, but it comes down to semantics and opinions. After all, should we be treating personality?

My personal opinion, and what is pretty much the dictate of the DSM, is that treatment becomes an issue when symptoms affect the quality of your life. Obviously, I'm interested in discussing this issue if you'd like to take it up in another thread :).

Thank you all again.

Barb

Part of me believes that ADHD is a way that labelers categorize people. We all could have a "disability" if we let the labelers rule the world. And at the end of the day these new labels that fall under "disabilities" are just new ones than we used to have. Personality types are also labels. They are presented in a much more positive light, with the approach that we all fit into a square...no square is bad or wrong, and no square is good or right. All the squares are needed in the world to make it the interesting place it is. This approach causes me to view myself as one of the squares that can contribute X, Y, and Z...wow!

The ADHD label (and the labelers who reign currently) approach categories as broken or "normal". Part of me hates this. I do not believe I am broken, though I have been easily persuaded to get fixed so that I'm like other people.

When the DSM-IV says that symptoms need to present to the degree of affecting your life considerably, what framework do we read those words from? From the framework of everybody fits into a square: that would not be saying much because everyone's personal square affects their life considerably...it IS their life. But from the framework of you are either broken or "normal": that is saying you better go fix yourself before the rest of your life becomes as hard as the first part of your life was.

I challenge you to find a person who has a childhood story where there was no challenge, no disagreement, was liked by everyone including teachers, did very well in school easily, and had no bumps in the road in general. I don't believe a person like this exists. So, how easy it is for the labelers to step in and give people something to lean on...a way to remove guilt, shame, and responsibility. Isn't that what so many people want these days? To blame someone or something else for the wrongs in the world? I think the labelers were ingenious to come up with such a skapegoat...and the side effect for them is profit.

The DSM will go on and get thicker and thicker as the labelers find more and more qualities/traits to turn people against themselves. When people hate themselves, feel broken, or less than, they are easy to sell. I call that taking advantage.

You may ask, why am I on this site, calling myself someone with ADHD. Partly for general, personal research purposes. I like to "try on" society's meanings and explanations to see how they resonate with me and to see where they take me. And partly because my argument style is commonly to agree with the other player's stance and use their own argument to prove them wrong.

Your turn.

My personal opinion, and what is pretty much the dictate of the DSM, is that treatment becomes an issue when symptoms affect the quality of your life. And some of us need treatment for kindergarten while others make it through to a PhD. :D

And some of us need treatment for kindergarten while others make it through to a PhD. :D
Yeah. Can you say, "Compensation"?

My doc basically said, "Do you have an explanation for your success so far?" Even though he was pretty convinced of the ADD, I agree it makes little sense. My 2nd grader, who was recently diagnosed, scores off the chart in most academic subjects (reading, science). Even in his worst (math) he is above average. But the fact that he needs to spend 3 hours a night to get all his homework done (designed for 20 min) and misses recess because he can't finish the work in class is a problem. He usually gets all the answers correct, but can't seem to get the tasks done.

But these inconsistencies are prime signs that something is not right. My explanations for my own success: a 180 IQ, a lot of discipline, well-developed coping mechanisms, and a good support system. As often happens, though, there came a point when all of that was not enough. At that point, I GOT HELP.

Ah, well. So I wonder what I COULD have accomplished if I'd gotten help 35 years ago!:rolleyes:

Barb

Part of me believes that ADHD is a way that labelers categorize people. We all could have a "disability" if we let the labelers rule the world. And at the end of the day these new labels that fall under "disabilities" are just new ones than we used to have. ...

...Your turn.
Karen,

I think personality research is mostly useless crap. It's just a way to label a set of behaviors that don't need to be labeled. Also, most personality theories are far too simplistic to describe the huge variations in human behavior. And the biggest problem with personality research is that there is a TON of research demonstrating that behavior is FAR more influenced by situational factors than internal factors like "personality".

That said, I have three things to say about labels in general:

First, all behaviors are distributed on a continuum. We all experience varying degrees of depression, distraction, euphoria, etc. The human brain is an EXTREMELY complex system that doesn't really have a "normal" state. By definition, most people's behaviors fall close to the average and some are far from it. Certainly nobody's life is perfect and I do NOT believe that disorders are an excuse for behavior. They may, however, be an explanation.

Second, I think that the DSM often gets a bad rap for "labeling". The DSM is simply a set of GUIDELINES to describe and treat a set of behaviors. The classification of "abnormal" or the need for treatment is a judgement that is made based on the effect that the subject's behavior has on their ability to function. These "labels" are a necessary part of living in a society -- people must have the tools to communicate with others. DSM classifications are the way that mental health professionals communicate with each other, their patients, and researchers. Without the "label", a long list of symptoms would have to be used in place of the three-letter designation of ADD.

Lastly, I don't view my disorders (can't believe they're actually PLURAL now :mad:) as a label of "broken". In fact, I honestly believe that bipolar disorder and ADD, when the damaging symptoms are kept under control, can be an advantage. There are a myriad of things that I've had to learn to work around, and just as many things that I've learned to take advantage of. Distracted? Try multi-tasker! Manic? Nah, I'm driven.

In sum, the labels don't bother me if they help me describe my problems AND my advantages.

And now I'm going to try to pry myself from this board and get some work done!:D

Barb

My problem now is ORAL EXAMS. Can't MAKE the mistakes; there's no ability to catch them before they're "out there". Strategies will not solve this problem. I need to know that medication will help me focus.


Hi hang in there! With oral exams I find it helps to practice with friends asking the kind of hard questions the examiners will. I then rehearse the types of answers needed. I write out key points (like bullet points) that I can use in a variety of sentences. This way even if you go blank you have a better chance of at least blurting out one of the pre-prepared bullet points.

Good luck. You've come this far & you can keep going :)