View Full Version : Me and my man...


Indigo_Child
11-07-05, 09:25 AM
Hi,
Sorry this is a bit long, this is a little about me, my health and my Fiance....


===============My Man======================
I have been with Darren, for a bit over a year now, and we are going really strong! We have had our fair share of ups and downs, (mostly due to my health) but together we have come through the experiences alot stronger as a couple. Fortunatly, although Darren isnt ADD or ADHD, he is as compulsive and spontanious as i am, so its not out of the ordinary for us to come home with useless crap when we go shopping.....or come home with a new pet...as we have done many times! Not too long ago, Darren went out one afternoon to buy a few groceries and came home with the cutest baby rat..:p...but no groceries!! He claimed he was about to go shopping when he happened to pass the pet shop (which is actually located on the other side of the shopping centre) and saw this Baby rat looking up at him, apparently, begging him to bring him home....so he did! Nutter!! Mind you i think i would have done the same thing if i were in his position. :D

Darren and I met at work, September 2004. My Parents had gone on a 2 week holiday interstate and because i had only recently started a new job, i had to stay behind. I barely knew Darren at that point, we had worked together a few times, He was a really nice guy, but I knew he had a Girlfriend at the time, so i discarded any (dirty) thoughts of him. It wasnt until i had finished my shift one night that i found him outside just standing around. We chatted for a while, just as i got up to leave i asked him what he was up to that night, his response was "coming over to your house"...Well He ended up staying for the whole week. By day 3 i was really fighting the deep feelings i started having for him. The night my parents came back from their holiday, i got a phone call from Darren saying he had ended his relationship with his girlfriend, he had really deep feelings for me, and did i want to go out with him?....I did the happy dance around my room....and weve been together ever since. :p :D

When we met i was a staggering 183lbs (83kg), and with my short 5'5" frame you could very easily have called me obese. And it was partially because of my weight, ok, Mostly because of my weight that i didnt want to get involved with anyone, I felt gross, fat and ugly. But with my Man i took a chance....From day one Darren has told me that he loves my body, that i am gorgeous and that he would love me no matter what size i am, but in the back of my mind i kept thinking that he wouldnt look at fat porn, so why would he love my body, shouldnt i look like the girls he oggles in the FHM and Playboy Magazines?!.... (After we started going out, he tossed out the Guys Magazines, even though i hadnt yet expressed my hate for them, he said he didnt need them anymore, and he didnt know why he got them in the first place) although i didnt worry about it that much, it was just my own insecurities, he loved me for me, thats all that mattered.

I knew what was the cause for my weight, I had taken 15 months off after graduating school and did little more than eat and watch TV, plus i was depressed. When i started work suddenly i was active again, and the weight dropped off really easily. I think in the Beginning, and somewhat now, Darren was worried that the weightloss would change me as a person. That suddenly i wouldnt be me anymore, that i wouldnt like the things i liked before and more importantly, that i wouldnt like him anymore. But quite quickly it became evident to Darren that it wasnt the case....I have lost a grand total of 84lbs in the past year, and im still the same old me.

But this whole experience has shown me that it truely isnt what you look like that matters....its whats on the inside that counts.


=================A LITTLE TMI================
In July this year (05), After Darren pushed and begged, I finally bit the bullet and had a Papsmear, my first one. I had had really painful periods since i started menarche when i was 11, but to me it was normal. My Smear result came back CIN3, the worst possible reading you can get from the test. The Result hit us both really hard, but even harder for Darren. Emotions were everywhere, we would be crying one minute and laughing the next. I was facing possible Cervical Cancer, and all we could do was sit and twiddle our thumbs for the next available appointment with a gynae. It was confirmed i have a condition called Endometriosis, (very awful, very painful), so i would have to have surgery to remove the growth from the outside of my uterus. And they would also have to scrape away the majority of my Cervix because there was alot of Cancerous cells, that threatened to spread throughout my body, and unfortunatly once it starts to spread, theres no stopping it....I know for a fact that without Darren basically dragging me down to my GP kicking and screaming, I would never have gone for a pap smear...i would be dead... and I would have missed out on knowing i can be Loved as much as he loves me, and knowing i could love someone as much as i love him....
It was a very hard time for us, and i suppose it still is, knowing the Endometriosis will never leave me, that i will always be in pain and that i will most probably have to have surgery to remove the growths every few years. But the hardest thing, i think more for Darren than myself was when we were told that due to the nature of my condition and the amount of damage that had been done, that there was a 99.9% chance that i would never be able to conceive; If i was able to conceive i would most probably never carry to term, If by some miracle i did carry to term, there would never be a live birth, ever, no If's or maybe's, Never.
My Condition is so unpredictable, its frustrating! One day im perfectly happy and healthy, the next im crippled with pain and cant move or be touched, but fortunatly Darren is VERY understanding, he says so long as we are together, and love each other, nothing else matters. :p

===========================================


We are getting Married Mid next year, after we complete our Army Training. Darren is going into the Regular Army as a Combat Engineer, and i am going into the Reserves as Military Police. I love him so much, He is just the most wonderful person i have ever met!!!

Well thats my introduction of my man, im sure you will hear me *****ing about this or that he has done or said....yes, me over reacting yet again...hehe...

I have pics on my site of myself and my man if you want to have a peek...... www.kinkyskink.bravehost.com (http://www.kinkyskink.bravehost.com)


Cheers,
Brittany

brandilyn
11-07-05, 01:26 PM
Hello Brittany!
I have a story for you!!!!
I too had endometriosis and it practically ate my uterus and ovaries up.I had the typical"acid"procedure to take them off,only to have to do it again.It was very painful and frusterating.
They even froze my cervix to try to kill it off.The worst part I think was the reactions I would get.
The you have had a venarial disease looks.For some reason if you have it some think that you have had a disease,therefor,you want to hide it even more.
First,I never had a venarial disease.Second,its a very serious condition that usually leaves you unfertile.

This is my experience.......
Was shocked at my results,I was only 17!!My sis ended up with it also and had a full hysterectomy by the age of 23!
I pretty much ignored mine.I had excrutiating periods that were all month long!Just in time for a new one!!!!!!
I eventualloy had a lyproscopy.That is where they go in with a scope type deal just below the belly button,in the pubic area...no scar!!!LOL!!!!!

They removed a ton of it!!!!!I saw pictures!!!!I was told I shouldnt have a problem with it again but.......they had too really treat it agressively because it was out of control and that I would probably not have children.
As you can guess,I was devastated!Thats the only thing in life I ever wanted to be or do!Be a mom.It was my dream,now that was gone.
Or so I thought.I was told the only way to stop it in the moment was to conceive and in a crude way,hurry it up!

I assumed it was over for me though because my surgeon was pretty serious and up front about the damage done.

Time past,periods hurt so bad still,not steady or timed monthly.I assumed I was broken.
I was 24,my hubby and I were pretty much footloose and fancy free.I had a stepson but it wasnt the same.I was so empty.
I wanted,needed my own.
I was on birth control to ease the periods but I decided myself to stop.There seemed no point and wasted money.They didnt ease the pain that much!

I got sick at my stomach,a diffrent kind of sick.I felt nauseated,no period for months.I know that sounds crazy but my periods were so weird,I thought nothing of it.

Turns out,I was 4 months pregnant!!!!!!

When I went to the doc they shook their heads,scratched their noggins in wonder.
He said,you have no entry,no way in.The scar tissue is a wall.How in the world..........

I couldnt give birth naturally of course,there was no way out for the baby.

Long story short,I have two beautiful baby girls now.....

It can happen,there are ways if its meant to be.

Good luck to you and nothing but the best.

Indigo_Child
11-09-05, 08:08 PM
Oops...Ignore the weightloss section in this post...i was posting in another forum while i was posting in here and got them mixed up...and i couldnt find the edit button....

Hi Brandilyn, Oh gosh, i am so sorry to hear you went through that!!! :(
Endometriosis is horrible!! I am on monthly shots of Zoladex, which keeps me in a Menopausal state, but it hasnt eased the pains. I am in constant pain, i think the last day i was pain free was when i was 10!! No painkillers work, hot water bottles and heat pads dont work, so i am left to just suffer.
Ive never had the desire to have children, I dont have the nature, time or patience for children. However Darren is keen on us having children later in life, say in another 10 years, (Im only 18)...he is really supportive, he said he would love us to have children together, but if that cannot happen, there is always adoption....hes awsome. I do hold a little glimmer of hope out for my fertility, but im not holding my breath.

Are you doing well now? I have heard of some women with Endo having a baby and suddenly they have no symptoms of endo and their body seems to put itself back to rights.
Thankyou for sharing your story with me! Its lovely to hear i am not alone in my suffering, but awful to hear we all have to go through this and be in so much pain...
Cheers,
Brittany

brandilyn
11-10-05, 03:21 PM
Im fantastic now!I had a supercervical hysterectomy almost 2 years ago.Right after the birth of my last.The pain constantly and the constant period!!!!It was killing me!

A supercervical hysterectomy is where they leave in your ovaries.I dont have to take hormones or anything!!!!!!
I have already forgotten how it is to have a period and when my girlfriends have theirs I am so thankful I dont have to go through that again!
I am spoiled now!!!!!LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep in mind,the more procedures that are done,burning,freezing or any cutting out will build scar tissue.That is a whole new pain in the butt!!!!!

I heard the same about the baby and it goes away thing.I think for some it is true,my doc said pretty much"get pregnant now."I wasnt married and sure wasnt serious with anyone.I even called my long time ex for his thoughts on doing the deed again for this.Which,by the way he is a very gay man!!!!!LOL!!!!!
Its one of those Will and Grace deals!LOL!!!!
I am the only woman he has ever really been attracted too.We were together for all our teen years.

We had it all planned and he came in from big D and I jus couldnt.It wasnt right for some reason or the other.
We laid on the couch together and watched T.V. all night!It was like a old girlfriend was visiting.I had just started dating my now hubby and was not that serious about him but then all these thoughts of what if came rushing in.LOL!!!!

Funny,my hubby has no idea how bad I wanted a baby.Actually,he was having a baby!He had a 3 night stand with some girl(Im using that term loosly)and didnt tell me because he was trying to escape the reality and live as though the girl didnt exist.Which took alot of effort on his part.I learned later she called and showed up to his and my friends house big and pregnant crying!

Dumb ol girl........LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!I have always been so independant that I would never let some guy slam a door in my face more than once!!!!!
She definetly needed some self esteem classes!
After he told me 2 days before birth I was really,really mad.I didnt want to have to deal with baby mama drama and had made that very clear to everyone who knew me.I was a free spirit and didnt wanto be tied down to anything but something that was mine to be tied too.

I loved him though and I had a thought!This is a baby,a sweet innocent baby born to jackasses!I can be a positive influence on this child and the child to me.I can love this child as my own.
That way,in case I never had a baby of my own I really did.I was extremely maternal,always have been.Its a drive in me.
My sis,diffrent.She didnt want them nor ever wanted them.She has a wonderful life full of corvettes and cloths and trips to Jamaica!
Sometimes I envy her!!!!!!LOL!!!!!!

Sorry,I totally got lost in writing!LOL!!!!I am happy,well balanced,pain free and no periods ever again!I love it!

By the way,adoption is a wonderful thing!I told my hubby that I would like to concider it later in life.Im 29,maybe in my 40s or so.
I would want a child or even a pre teen who really needs someone.There are so many,little spirits lost with no one to love them.Crazy hu?