OK I will admit I like to play video games and I treat it as a hobby. I get my homework done and I get to work just fine, but all those places are highly frustrating because I'm worried about my focus and stuff. Even with my GF I try to not loose my focus. Games are my little release its easy to focus on and feel like I'm doing something that isn't straining my brain.

Anyways she wants me to stop for a couple of months so she can see how different I will act, she actually is hoping I will stop playing them ever again. I guess this is because I always wanted her to try things I do, and she only knows horror stories about husbands disowning their relationships for games.

I don't know but while I'm willing to take about a month off, I'm not up for 2 months because I play an online game where other people work with me in a team to get stuff done, I only play about 6 or 7hrs a week so I don't see it as a problem.

Well I must sound stupid but what do you all think.

My wife also hates the video games. She doesn't understand how it could possibly relax me.

I have stopped playing video games for months at a time (basically because the ones I had got boring), but I always found something else to fill that downtime: mindless action movies being my choice. So my conclusion: it's not the video games, its the tool to put your mind in idle for a while that's important.

Being ADHD, I fine Games, Internet relaxing, I can get lost in Cyberspace for hours. I have also found that when I work using various pricing programs on the internet I focus more, work becomes a pleasure because it is in a mode I enjoy.

Just a thought

If playing video games (in moderation of course) is what relaxes you and it's what you like to do then you should keep playing!!!! I wish my husband would find a hobby that relaxes him. If he were to choose a hobby I didn't like I would still support it 100% because for one thing it's not my hobby so I don't have to like it and for another thing I want my husband to be happy. I can't believe she asked you to quit. It sounds like maybe she needs to find a hobby of her own. Has she ever tried to play the games with you? I never cared too much about video games until my son got old enough to play and now I love video games, especially the football & wrestling ones. It's actually turned into a bond we share. I see the guys at EB games more than I see my husband....LOL! I can understand her asking you to cut back on the time you spend just a little but it's just wrong to ask you to quit doing something that you enjoy. However, be honest with yourself about the amount of time you are spending with her vs. the time you spend on games and make an effort to be a part of her hobbies or find a new one that you both can learn together. I don't know her so I don't know if she is the controling type but if she isn't then she must be needing more time from you right now. Some times it's easier to believe that things like work, stress, video games, money is to blame for problems but it's usually a communication problem. Like I will blame my husbands business because he works so much and blah blah blah and what I really mean and should say to my husband is " I'm feeling like I'm not important to you right now and I miss you and I need more time with you now".

Thanks for the advice, I'm liking this forum because I'm finding like minded people. I think her problem is absolutely linked to her not having a hobby. She is from a Chinese school system and has spent all of her life studying and studying and studying. She never has had room for hobbies and watching me play makes her think that I'm wasting my time when I could be better myself in some other way.

She also has a problem with her not being the most relaxing thing in my life. She feels that if I go to video games to relax, then she should be the perfect substitute for relaxation.

I don't know its hard to explain to her, because she defines a hobby as an addiction, and all addictions are bad to her.

May I chime in here, as the wife of a man with ADD? We have similar discussions at our house, but I have been able to say exactly why I dislike it when my husband plays video games.

The problem I have is that while the games relax his brain (his words), when he is finished with them he is not able to rev up his brain again enough to be productive (my words).

If he plays the games right before going to bed, it's sometimes OK. But if he plays the games before trying to do something else, well, he might as well not bother with that "something else" because he won't be able to focus on it properly afterward. And I mean for several hours afterward.

That may or may not be your issue, I can't know. But it's one possibility to consider, that it isn't the actual playing of the game that is the problem, it may be something related to it - your behavior before or after, time it takes, hours you choose to do it, something like that. I hope that helps.

my g/f hates vid games as well. her ex started playing world of warcraft literally 4-5 hours a day. this guy looked like a totally normal person.. not a geek/dork or whatever. It ended up completely enveloping his life. He stopped caring about school/work, got fired, was ready to drop out of school... she left him at that point, and he was playing the game 8+ hours EVERY day.

So.. when we started dating seriously and she was at my apt all the time she would get uncomfortable if I would sit on my computer at all. now she basically lives with me, and I sat down with her and explained that this is no different than her reading a book or putting together some puzzle.. or going to the mall with her girlfriends. it's entertainment. entertaining myself for an hour or two after 9 hours of work and 3 hours of class is NORMAL. Her issue (she says) is that she wants attention before the computer gets attention... so I complied and things are a lot better now. Also, I setup a place in my office for her to read.. which helps a lot because we're closer so she doesn't feel so disattached



arg... long post sorry

I think its time for a new girlfriend. Kidding but 7 hours a week is NOT a lot of video games. An hour a day? I don't play any right now, but thats just because I haven't bought one recently. I ahve an addictive personality, so if I really like something (doesn't ahve to be video game) I can do it 4 hours a day til I get tired of it. If 7 hours a week is affecting your relationship, maybe you two see to much of each other. My old girlfriend and I saw too much of each other and it ended badly. I think that if we hadn't been around each other so much we wouldn't have fought so much which led to other bad things and we'd still be together. If you played 3+ hours a day I could understand taking a break but you shouldn't let someone tell you not to have a healthy hobby.