Yesterday I saw a psychiatrist here in Okinawa. He is kind of an oddball, but pretty cool. He has ADHD himself, and showed me some of his coping methods -- for instance, he keeps his wallet and keys chained to his belt.

The psychiatrist diagnosed me as ADHD-combined. In fact, he said I was a "textbook case." I guess I should be proud. ;)

I had thought of myself as more the innatentive type, but according to him my impulsivity pushed me over the edge. I guess he convinced me of that, because as we were talking, a lot of things I had thought of as stupidity or stubbornness, he saw as typical ADHD impulsivity.

The depressing thing that he told me, though, was that I shouldn't expect my procrastination to get better. He said I should accept all-nighters and tight deadlines as a fact of life.

That's tough, because my main -- or maybe even only -- problem with my ADD is the procrastination. First and foremost, the missed deadlines are killing my career. Second, the all nighters are taking a toll on the old bod. And third, the wasted time is such a, well, waste.

The only thing my wife says she wants me to fix is my short temper, but I forgot to mention that problem to the psych. Typical :rolleyes:.

He did agree with my idea of hiring an assistant, plus he gave me some advice on how to do it. The funniest advice was that I should have my wife choose the assistant, since I would probably hire either a drill sargeant or fellow ADDer.

I'm glad you've got your dx, even though you already "knew," it's nice to have an official dx.

I hate to disagree with the doc. I know that sounds awful but I do. Over the years there have been several "ADHD" issues that I've had to push myself to deal with. PUSH is the key word. Of those issues, tardiness and procrastination have been the worst. Has it been difficult? You better believe it has been, but after awhile it become second nature to just prepare or set aside enough time to do what needs to be done. Now if I'm not careful, I can fall back into the trap, but I guess what sits in the back of my mind is that it HAS to be done and I CAN'T screw up. I think that's the main key/self-motivation...personal pride.

I do however agree that your wife would be great in helping you hire your assistant. This of course if you feel she knows you well enough and is not the jealous type. I have known several couples that have assisted in choosing their partner’s assistants, etc.

Good luck :)

Glad you finally got some confirmation of what you already knew. I never saw myself as impulsive either, until I took the TOVA test and really blew that section. Started looking back and talking to people who knew me and there was plenty of evidence. Hope an assistant or a coach can help you with the procrastination -- that's a toughie!

Take care,
Scattered

Thanks, guys.

I have not given up on doing something about my procrastination. I'm looking forward to coaching, to find out what to do, then finding an assistant to do it for me. :D

I think you and your wife should hire the assistant. I mean you se things she doesn't and she will notice the things you miss!!!!!!

Procrastination is up to you. Weather or not you wish to address it is up to you. I mean if a short temper is the biggest thing with your wife then possibly start there but if you truly don't want to be late all the time there is nothing written in stone saying you have to be this way for the rest of your life.

It is your life and how you choose to change it or leave it is up to you!!!!!

I used to always be late to every thing. I am still late to some things but not every thing. I did not realize how I had changed this until my most recent job.

I live 200 miles from my home town have for over two years. Decided to get a part time nursing job here in the Austin area. Calculate the chances I would be working with two other nurses I work with back home????

Any way when I arrived on time for my shift they were totally unprepared...why??? Because two years ago I was always late for my shift. Today I am late about twice a month!!!!

We can and do change if we want!!!!!

Glad to hear you found a doc!!!

Uninchu


IS the word "congratulations" appropriate??? I guess not, but I am glad for you in that you now have something concrete to work with.

I jokingly tell my friends "I have met my enemy and I am he..". 11 months have gone by and still no official dx for me.

ME :D

Yesterday I saw a psychiatrist here in Okinawa. He is kind of an oddball, but pretty cool. He has ADHD himself, and showed me some of his coping methods -- for instance, he keeps his wallet and keys chained to his belt.

The psychiatrist diagnosed me as ADHD-combined. In fact, he said I was a "textbook case." I guess I should be proud. ;)

I had thought of myself as more the innatentive type, but according to him my impulsivity pushed me over the edge. I guess he convinced me of that, because as we were talking, a lot of things I had thought of as stupidity or stubbornness, he saw as typical ADHD impulsivity.

The depressing thing that he told me, though, was that I shouldn't expect my procrastination to get better. He said I should accept all-nighters and tight deadlines as a fact of life.

That's tough, because my main -- or maybe even only -- problem with my ADD is the procrastination. First and foremost, the missed deadlines are killing my career. Second, the all nighters are taking a toll on the old bod. And third, the wasted time is such a, well, waste.

The only thing my wife says she wants me to fix is my short temper, but I forgot to mention that problem to the psych. Typical :rolleyes:.

He did agree with my idea of hiring an assistant, plus he gave me some advice on how to do it. The funniest advice was that I should have my wife choose the assistant, since I would probably hire either a drill sargeant or fellow ADDer.

Procrastination is up to you. Weather or not you wish to address it is up to you.
I feel that way. That's why what the psych said was disheartening. It's just that for the past 34 years, I've tried so many times to lick this, but in retrospect it all boiled down to

1. Beat head against brick wall
2. Repeat as necessary

Now with this new ADHD thingy, I'm thinking maybe a new tactic is in order. :p

Looking back, the times when I have been best about not procrastinating have been when "noncompliance is not an option" (i.e. the military), and when I have so filled my schedule that every moment there is some fire needing to be put out. The problem is that the first method kills the soul, and the second method kills the body.

I mean if a short temper is the biggest thing with your wife then possibly start there but if you truly don't want to be late all the time there is nothing written in stone saying you have to be this way for the rest of your life.
I hope not!

Any way when I arrived on time for my shift they were totally unprepared...why??? Because two years ago I was always late for my shift. Today I am late about twice a month!!!!
I am late with deadlines less than that -- say, once every 2 months or so. But in my industry, that's a big deal, unfortunately... And constantly being on the verge of being late is harrowing, to say the least.

We can and do change if we want!!!!!
Thanks for the encouraging words!

IS the word "congratulations" appropriate???
Why not? Nothing to be sad about. I've always known what was wrong with me -- now I have a name for it is all. :)

I jokingly tell my friends "I have met my enemy and I am he..". 11 months have gone by and still no official dx for me.

Hang in there!

Hey there. Glad you got an official diagnosis. I laughed about the Drill sargent or ADHDer extremes of assistants. Both probably wouldn't be good. A drill sarget would be to linear and rigid and anal, but ADHDer probably would help with structure or staying on task. Hope you and wife can find a happy medium. :)

I've tried so many times to lick this, but in retrospect it all boiled down to

1. Beat head against brick wall
2. Repeat as necessary

I have felt this way too because it's something I'm always trying to change, and feel like nothing much has changed, I get frustrated when I find myself back at square one.

But I'm hopeful because now I'm not trying the same old things. Since I understand self better, I can try different things that maybe some will work, or if I try something I've tried before, but in a slightly different manner it may help.

Psychologist had an interesting suggestion about time management/tardiness yesterday. Dr. struggles with ADHD so understands. Since I'm going into a helping profession and Dr. is in one the suggestion was this: think of the people you are working with as 2-year olds in the way that a small child gets anxious when parent leaves and child needs safety and security. That when adults come to us for help, underneath there's the need that a small child has for safety and security, and the adult probably isn't even aware of it.

So if we can do something in the time frame the other needs it in, or show up on time for them it gives them the security they need. This can help us see time different since it may not be the most important thing on our own radar because quality or other things may seem more important.

I don't know if you can use this idea or modify it to apply in your situation. But it was certainly an approach I'd never considered. Even though at times I'd seen time management in terms of being a job requirement or a service to others, just thinking for a few minutes about it being about meeting someone else's NEED rather than thinking about meeting some externally imposed expectation made it feel less confining and against the grain for me.

~~bythesea