Anyone here have any trouble making friends? I feel I have no social skills whatsoever. The few friends I do make, I get tired of them because they are usually the extremely needy screwdup types that cling to me and talk my ear off about their problems. Or they are the loud trouble maker type. Anyhow, I don't keep friends very long.

When I first meet someone new, I get this anxious feeling and don't know what to say. And when I actually do speak, a million thoughts will be going through my mind at once that I will stumble on my words, not make any sense, or just stop mid sentence at a loss of words. Then I feel embarrassed. After words, I will beat myself up over what I said to the person or how I acted. I will think to myself, "Why did I say that?" or "Maybe I said too much" or "They probably think I'm dumb".

Most of the time I don't even try to make any friends, even though I want them. It's like it's too much trouble to start a friendship with someone. I get anxious. Then I start thinking, do I really want to open up this possibility? What if I'm not a good friend? What if I don't fit in with their friends? What if they call me too much? What if I call them too much?

Then my low self esteem comes into play. I'll start saying to myself that I'm a boring person and that I have nothing to offer a friendship. On the rare occasion I do make friends, I usually screw that up by being too argumentive or saying the wrong things or something.

Anyone have this problem or have any suggestions?(I am a 29-year-old female)

No help from me. I am in the same boat. It takes me forever to make friends. It took me 3 years to make friends in the last town we lived in. Then my husband got a new job in a new state, and I have to start over.

I frequently put my foot in my mouth, even though I have the best of intentions. I feel myself regressing to my childhood, when I rarely talked to any one, especially adults. I just felt so awkward. I remember frequently thinking, "what are they talking about?" "How do they think of so many things to say?"

My 9 year old daughter is in the same boat, with the major exception that she has been diagnosed, and the area we moved to has a tremendous amount of resources for ADD, sensory integration dysfunction, etc. It is my biggest focus right now, to get her the help she needs to make her life as close to normal as possible, so she will be happy, especially at school. Right now, she is only happy at home.

I am going to start seeing an ADD psychologist soon, along with a coach. I need to find a job, as this stuff is expensive, but I am hoping it will help with not only non-existent organization skills, but with social skills as well. Is this a possibility for you?

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I am going to start seeing an ADD psychologist soon, along with a coach. I need to find a job, as this stuff is expensive, but I am hoping it will help with not only non-existent organization skills, but with social skills as well. Is this a possibility for you?
Well, I am 7 months pregnant right now and so I haven't been on my meds for the past 7 months. This may explain why I am depressed...

Anyhow, I can't afford an ADD psychologist right now since I'm currently not working due to maternity. I haven't had any great experiences with "counselors". They are friendly enough but tend to treat me like I'm mentally challenged or like a child. They'll talk extra slow like I'm dumb. Of course, those "counselors" did not specialize in ADD so that may be the problem.

Also when I've told people that I have ADD, they look at me in surprise and say,"You?!? No, you don't have ADD. You aren't hyper at all and you're too quiet." Then they'll compare me to their little nephew, little cousin, or whatever little boy they know has ADD and say I'm not like them at all. It kind of makes me angry because I feel they imply I'm making it up or something.

I don't usually have trouble making friends. I make them quite easily actually. This is the one part of ADD i hear a lot about but don't understand.
I talk a lot and I have a really happy personality and because of that people are drawn to me.
The only troulbe I have is that I say such stupid things and I screw up with so many things that some people think Im a write-off and want nothing to do with me.
For the most part once people get to know me they associate my dumb comments with my personality and think its humorous(which is the way I choose to see it) and it even helps me make friends sometimes..but other times im not so lucky.
Does anyone else have THAT problem?

Hopeless......geez thats a pretty harsh thing to call yourself!!

I have trouble making friends and always have, and I guess I can't advise you on how to make friends, but I can suggest that it helps to be yourself.

I have very few close friends who actually accept me for who and what I really am and I'm grateful for that, but I've had many disasterous friendships who people who take advantage of me, abuse me in someway or eventually reject me probably because they don't understand me:(

So sweetie I guess you just have to be very careful who you pick as a friend and take care.

Selena:)

I find it very difficult to make friends as well, I feel like I can't compare to them or have nothing offer the conversation, I have 2 close friends both live 2,000 miles away, and I just moved to CA 1yr ago and it is sooo hard to make friends.

I too end up saying stupid things or get jumbled with my words, then in turn I FEEL like I look stupid becuase after tht they really don't talk with me much. I am good person, friendly, upbeat. I think well if they can't accept me for who I am then the h-ll with them.

I am very lucky My husband is very good good about supporting me and telling me what a wonderful person I am. :D

I figure if a true friendship is meant to be it will last, they will accept you, no matter what, anyone else is a waste of your time and really would not have been a good friend to you anyway.

Me too. We've lived in this town for 16 years now, and we don't have ANYONE here that we regularly do stuff with. I am very involved in church activities and my kids' school. I'm not shy. But I get to know people on a basic level only, and it never becomes a deep friendship.

I know that to have a friend you have to be one. But why is it so dang hard?!