Hey everyone. I just turned 18 actually 1 month ago exactly. I have always had social troubles. I got diagnosed with ADHD my sophomore year of high school. It causes me to say things I dont think about. Even starting fresh at college people still tend to find me rather annoying. There are the people who appreciate me, and dont care though. People who know me will describe me as the perfect friend/boyfriend though. Smart, intuitive, creative, nice, sweet, very responsible, generous, and caring. I am in no way trying to be concited though. My managers think I talk way too much, but don't think that outweighs my amazing intuition, responsibility, and dedication. It seems that a lot of girls like me as friends, but nothing more. I am not some pathetic overweight ugly person. I am average weight, a little short, but people think I am relatively good looking. I believe that if I didnt have my ADHD, I would be racking in the girls like they were nothing. It seems as I just dont understand what talking too much is or what doing things that are out of hand are. It happens all the time where I realize what I have done or said is not appropriate or I am just talking/doing too much. I need to know what I can do to help myself. It seems as women are my biggest trouble. It is hard for me to even have close friends. It is my social problems. Please, any help would be appreciated.

PS- I started straterra a few years ago but I feel as it has worn off.

I know how you feel. I have Aspergers, Panic Disorder, Bipolar I, and ADHD. There is a thread called socal skills. I give you the link once I find it.

I give you the link once I find it.
Typical ADD thing as well.

I hear you, Hah, I was much the same way before I was diagnosed. I know exactly what you mean with regards to flirting with women as well, it wasn't any lack of looks, and women don't overly care about looks anyways, it was the fact that when you're completely and utterly oblivious as to when a woman is flirting with you, things just aren't going to happen.


Therapy and medication combined have been shown to be more effective than either on its own, and my person experience certainly bears this out: therapy wasn't truly effective until I started taking Adderall, but the Adderall in and of itself isn't quite as effective if I'm not also meeting regularly with a therapist. But combined, I've been much better with everything. I started this during my senior year of college and watched my GPA climb from 2.1-3.5, I was more organized, I could remember appointments and such and was on time for things, I was more productive in class and on the job, and I finally knew how to flirt better.

One other non-psychiatric thing that helped was martial arts, it improved my focus, me sense of responsibility, and my motivation and confidence, which are certainly all things that ADD people can use help with. Plus it gets you in great shape, and chicks dig fighters, trust me.

I am the inattentive type, I have never been in a serious relationship until I was 30.
Yeah, women were a confusing mystery to me, didn't help when I had no sisters and three younger brothers, and a mother that confused me about women even further.
A women with a club is what it took to flirt with me, unfortunately they are very subtle creatures, and don't carry any sticks to whack ADDers with :rolleyes:

Welcome to the forums also welcome to the motor mouth members of the human race.

It does seem as if some one has been honest enough to tell you that they feel you talk too much. It may not have been pleasant news to receive but it did give you some insight as to how your behavior is viewed by others.


You said you have female friends. Well if you are able to remain non-defensive to their opinions they may be able to help you buy explaining exactly what behaviors are “turning girls” off. However if you do ask them for their opinion do not get mad at what they say take their comments as information......helpful necessary information.


I do not know about your medications. If you have done some growing and at your age this is indeed possible, your dosage may be in need of adjustment. This would need to be done by a qualified professional. I believe it is at least worth asking him/her about.

Medications may help you be able to see (or hear from others) what areas you need to work on but the medications themselves will not make the changes for you. You gotta do this. Begin by accepting the fact some times you tend to dominate conversations. Okay I do this too. I have literally held my hands over my mouth to keep from blurting things out.

Some thing I have used.
I have allowed people whom I am working with to assist me in gauging my motor mouth by
A) Go to managers and thank them for their insight. Let them know you wish to work on the talkative issue but may need some help.
B) Should they agree you and they need decide upon a simple gesture (for me it was a hand motion simular to "stop") or signal so they can discreetly alert you when you are crossing the “motor mouth mile”
C) When they hear you going over board in the talk department they gesture you.
D) When you see the gesture you stop talking. If you are speaking with customers you may have to complete the sentence but then you cease and desist in the manner you and your managers have spoken about.

Most mangers will be pleased that you want to work on your weak area. The hand signal will remain between you and them so other employees and customers will not know the meaning even if they see the gesture. You must do your part and refrain from arguing or justifying. Your part is to accept the help you are receiving.

You will learn much by listening to others more and talking less. Am I cured???? Hardly, I still have my gab binges (which my family graciously tolerates) but I have increased my ability to function at work.

It may be the tendency to dominate conversation that prevents any one from "dating you". You are probably a nice person and entertaining so please do not quit talking completely but toning down to allow others their turn will greatly enhance the quality of all your relationships.

Good luck and keep us posted (pun intended)

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21477&highlight=social+skills

Here's the link I was mentioning about.

Hah!
I'm a female ADDer and I know EXACTLY how you feel and it's caused me great emotional pain over the years, like you most people find me annoying and off putting and there are those who seem to love and rely heavily on me...I guess its all about the level of understanding that a person has?!

I mainly have social troubles regarding romantic relationships....I can be too emotional and blunt when expressing feelings and that seems to freak people out big time, but I've had some minor troubles mainly with concentrating on conversations and staying interested in things.

All I can say is perhaps go to an adult ADD/ADHD support group....I've just found one where I'm living and have all intentions of going to this meeting...I could learn things about treating ADD and I can make some friends with people like me.Hey everyone. I just turned 18 actually 1 month ago exactly. I have always had social troubles. I got diagnosed with ADHD my sophomore year of high school. It causes me to say things I dont think about. Even starting fresh at college people still tend to find me rather annoying. There are the people who appreciate me, and dont care though. People who know me will describe me as the perfect friend/boyfriend though. Smart, intuitive, creative, nice, sweet, very responsible, generous, and caring. I am in no way trying to be concited though. My managers think I talk way too much, but don't think that outweighs my amazing intuition, responsibility, and dedication. It seems that a lot of girls like me as friends, but nothing more. I am not some pathetic overweight ugly person. I am average weight, a little short, but people think I am relatively good looking. I believe that if I didnt have my ADHD, I would be racking in the girls like they were nothing. It seems as I just dont understand what talking too much is or what doing things that are out of hand are. It happens all the time where I realize what I have done or said is not appropriate or I am just talking/doing too much. I need to know what I can do to help myself. It seems as women are my biggest trouble. It is hard for me to even have close friends. It is my social problems. Please, any help would be appreciated.

PS- I started straterra a few years ago but I feel as it has worn off.

Meadd, I like that idea of the gesture. Maybe not even so much at work but with friends I trust. See to me, I havent ever said too much. Its funny because at work my manager told me and a few coworkers that he has never been to a store where everyone got along so well. I work right by my college so probably 97% of the dept. is college kids. He said when we close he always hears people saying stuff like "ok, see ya later at my house" or stuff like that. The problem is I am never really invited anywhere and it bothers me. Not too many people at work have a problem with me persay, infact, i talk to a lot of them on a daily basis. I just dont understand what i am doing wrong! ARGH!