Any other woman out there that are gay and would like to chat about life in general and life with ADD and the added bonus of being queer?......feel free to drop me a line...cheers

Hi
I'm sure there are plenty of gay ADDers out there but you should give the site gaygirls.com a go as thats a good lesbian/bi womans site.

Welcome

I'm not gay but I am ADD. ;)

Any other woman out there that are gay and would like to chat about life in general and life with ADD and the added bonus of being queer?......feel free to drop me a line...cheers
Hi!
I'm a 39 year old lesbian living with my wonderful partner in Buffalo, New York. I think I can say with complete honesty that being a lesbian with ADHD is NEVER boring, although I know its a challenge at times for my partner, who has a whole lotta patience and understanding. :D . Would love to share stories!

Hey U,

I,m Bri. I as well as my son has ADD and Depression. My son also has Tourettess Syndrome and Bi Polar II. To say the least we drive my partner of 10 Yrs CRAZY. I don't think that anyone without ADD can ever truley understand our mind and cycles as much as they study or TRY to support us. I hear all the time I know that you can't help it but......... Yes u are right I Can't help it so get off my back. Any way if you ever want to chat about any thing let me know . Send me a private message and I'll give you a direct E-mail address. Hang in there .

Bri

Hi,

I'm not a lesbian, as much as I'd like to be. But I LOVE lesbians!! (And my sister's gay!)

I apologize if I'm coming across as insensitive, I am meaning to come across as friendly! :-) Also, I can't get over this idea I have that I am incredibly funny and that people really enjoy reading my posts!!

Take care,
Sue

I'm bisexual and I think there should be a sub-forum for GLBT issues...

i agree we should definatly have a queer forum. im queer and was diagnosed with ADHD when i was 12 (im now 20). i have been living with my gf for a year now and we have lots of relationship problems, including hte fact that she doesnt seem to believe that al lot of the clumsy, forgetful, messy and disorganised stuff i do has anything to do with ADHD. i dont know how to get around these problems cos all the realtionship advice on here is for straight relationships. dealing with a womans reactions to things is different to dealing with a mens reaction, and my reactions are going to be different to the guys on here -and im really confused about my own gender anyway.
on a lighter note-is it just me or are loads of lesbians adhd?

a glblt would be a great idae for this froum with they be lesbians bi gay straght i would love that i think its a very good idea yes jen weather your in stragh or open type realtships you need advice to fit the pepole who come on the froums and seeing all typtes come on here it needs to fit them as well so you got my vote jen an crazygil drom

hello buff maybe you make a thread cos id love to read how you lifes been an othes axross the bord to me were all the same here so wellocme buffo dorm

Hello,

I agree with buffalopc7, life as a lesbian with ADD/ADHD is never boring and it takes a lot of patience from your partner or girlfriend. My partner is understanding, but that doesn't stop her from getting frustrated at times with my forgetfulness.

Unlike straight women with ADD/ADHD, who've got their husbands to contend with, I think that other women are more likely to wonder if you've got some Machievellian reason for being spacey, forgetting to do what they've asked, neglecting housework, etc. I might be mistaken but I think that men would probably be less likely to take such things personally.

On the plus side, I think that another woman is more likely to understand if your symptoms get really bad when you are PMSing!

Well, I should go, I'm procrastinating again, but I thought I'd speak up since the topic applies to me.

salkile yes i ages with you maybe men do see it diffly....weather its 2 men or 2 weman....they will allways have a betterunderstanding cos there the same sex and your right woman make take it more personlay....that your fogetfuness an sooo on ,,,,i think i lesbians froum would be a good indea here dorm

:D I hadn't realized till today that there had been recent responses to this particular thread and its great to know theres more lesbians out there who have ADD/ADHD. At least in my own personal experience, being a lesbian with ADD/ADHD or being a partner with someone who is, is a truly unique experience (truly, never boring,lol). I'd love to see a forum created for this topic. Great to meet you all and I look forward to sharing stories!

Hello,

I agree with buffalopc7, life as a lesbian with ADD/ADHD is never boring and it takes a lot of patience from your partner or girlfriend. My partner is understanding, but that doesn't stop her from getting frustrated at times with my forgetfulness.

Unlike straight women with ADD/ADHD, who've got their husbands to contend with, I think that other women are more likely to wonder if you've got some Machievellian reason for being spacey, forgetting to do what they've asked, neglecting housework, etc. I might be mistaken but I think that men would probably be less likely to take such things personally.

On the plus side, I think that another woman is more likely to understand if your symptoms get really bad when you are PMSing!

Well, I should go, I'm procrastinating again, but I thought I'd speak up since the topic applies to me.
Well, life as anything with ADHD is never borning, wheterh you are lesbian or straight. It is no more or less frustrating for a partner of someone who is ADHD based on thier gender, I would think.
I am straight, have a husband, and before my diagnosis, when the house was nuts or messy, etc, my husband wondered if it was some kind of passive agressive thing going on. So men will have the same feelings if the wife isnt doign her stuff as a woman would if her wife were not doing her stuff, see what I mean?
I do not mean to argue with oyu, please do not get me wrong, I jsut do not think its accurate to assume men wont take it personally. if anything i think its worse because men work with other men who are married so they see or hear stories of waht its like to have a non-adhd wife so they think wait why isnt my house neat, or why doesnt my wife make my lunch, etc. See?

Sometimes my hubby comes home and mentions some guy at works wife made cookies or some other totally domestic housewife thing and, while i know he isnt saying it to make me feel bad, i automatically think, oh great i dont make cookies, his guys at work must think his wife isnt a good wife, etc...see the thought process there? i know its mostly in my head, but it is still a dynamic ofa relationship and men or woman, either way, its a relationship.

Although i totally agree with you on the pms thing, a woman would have MUCH more understanding!

Sorry for teh typos and stuff here, my brain is working much faster than my hands can type...

I am not a lesbian so maybe i should pipe down, but i jsut wanted to add in a little .02 cents.

My hubby, although never formally diagnosed, shows major signs, traits, and symptoms, of an ADHDer so maybe he is more tolerant and understnading of me and my shortcomings due to him being similar and maybe if i had a non-ADHD husband i would be singing a different tune here, but i just wanted to say this stuff.thanks for reading...
-A

I'm bisexual and I think there should be a sub-forum for GLBT issues...
Administration looked into that idea some time back. (The poll is in site suggestions.)

But the Private Adult Forum has been determined to also function for adult GLBT issues. It's a small community, password protected, supportive atmosphere.

I hope those who are GLBT here will feel open to share there. Contact Minn306 or ClearConfusion for info.

GLBT are people too.. Why would you seperate them from other people? Sounds like self-discrimination..

Be a human.. Talk and hang with other humans..

yes but an open froum for the glbt on the site would be very helpfull so iam all for ir i really dont think its self discrimination the froum is about were we get on here
,,,,,,dorm here is were we are human

an open froum for the glbt on the site would be very helpfull
You have it. Adult ADD, Relationships & Social Issues, Private Adult Forum, Teen Private Forum, the guidelines do not allow discrimination on this site. So if you are gay and have ADD we have sections for ADD, if you are a lesbian with sensory issues then we have a sensory issues sub-forum, if you are heterosexual with a nagging husband annoyed with your ADD then we have a place for you to vent.

I am curious, as a woman, if lesbians with ADD feel a "double whammy"? Does their ADD and sexuality pose problems for being a woman in society, given that being a woman, ADD and/or lesbian each have their own challenges, let alone lumping them altogether?

Hope I asked that clearly.

on a lighter note-is it just me or are loads of dykes adhd?People with GLBT issues are more likely to have atypical minds in general, according to a study I read a while back. Transexuals are the most likely to deviate from the norm. An atypical mind can result in increased intelligence and creativity, or also in an increased likelihood of a host of mental disorders. According to one study, certain hormones in the mother's body during pregnancy, stress hormones in particular, can increase the chances of both a GLBT child and a child with mental disorders. This would indicate that GLBT people would be more likely to also have mental disorders than the population in general.

I read here:
http://www.apa.org/topics/orientation.html

Over 35 years of objective, well-designed scientific research has shown that homosexuality, in and itself,is not associated with mental disorders or emotional or social problems. (emphasis mine)

There are numerous theories about the origins of a person's sexual orientation; most scientists today agree that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors. In most people, sexual orientation is shaped at an early age. There is also considerable recent evidence to suggest that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person's sexuality. In summary, it is important to recognize that there are probably many reasons for a person's sexual orientation and the reasons may be different for different people. (emphasis mine)

And from wikipedia:

The disorder is not a symptom of another mental disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_disorder) or a chromosomal abnormality.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_dysphoria

If I understood the articles correctly, then GLBT suffer from depression, etc usually as the result of trying to come out honestly about their sexual orientation and the bias they meet. They do not have a higher risk of ADHD than anyone else.

And on a yahoo support group intro
There is known to be a statistically significant correlation between Asperger's Syndrome and Gender Dysphoria but the nature and implications of the link are unknown.
So even when there is a correlation it is not determined that they are at risk for more mental disorders than the population in general.

Quite the education, interesting reading.

I can't find any studies directly correlating homosexuality and other mental disorders, though several papers I found have made references to a Norwegian study that found a high correlation. Several studies found a high correlation of mental disorders in transexuals, but this could be explained by the high probability of a traumatic childhood.

Several studies conclude that maternal stress seems to increase the chances of male homosexuals/transexuals in rats. This link is a fairly interesting read for anyone curious about the causes of homosexuality:
http://www.viewzone.com/homosexual.html

And it is well established that maternal stress increases the likelihood of mental disorders:
http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb04/programmed.html

I admit there does seem to be a lack of papers out there on the subject, but the subject does seem like it would be controversial if published. I wish I could find the study I read before, but no luck.

Over 35 years of objective, well-designed scientific research has shown that homosexuality, in and itself,is not associated with mental disorders or emotional or social problems.That would seem to mean that homosexuality is not syptomatic of any mental disorder, ie like treatment-resistant depression is a symptom of bipolar disorder. Still, that says nothing about any correlation, whether positive, negative, or none. Interesting information though.

And it is well established that maternal stress increases the likelihood of mental disorders:
http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb04/programmed.html

That wasn't the article's conclusion. It said it is still a topic for discussion and the only thing they noted of significance was that maternal stress effected the baby's hormones in such a way that they had difficulty handling stress later on. And while there was a study about schizophrenia after the German invasion of the Netherlands, the conclusion that while they saw an increased risk the effect was a very small percent. Also, there was nothing mentioned about a mother with no first trimester stress having a child who has difficulty handling stress or anxiety in the future.

Several studies conclude that maternal stress seems to increase the chances of male homosexuals/transexuals in rats. This link is a fairly interesting read for anyone curious about the causes of homosexuality:
http://www.viewzone.com/homosexual.html

This was very interesting reading. While it hasn't led to an understanding of a biological reason for lesbians, (though that doesn't mean there isn't one), it didn't conclude that homosexuals were predetermined to have other mental disorders, again, it's related to stress only.

After reading this I have to wonder if it is the inability to handle stress and anxiety well that leads to an increase in having ADD? Is there any correlation? Is it this inability to handle stress/anxiety well that leads to homosexuals having more trouble with handling the depression that may come from environmental issues they face or what they, too, are born with?

Thanks for the article.

That wasn't the article's conclusion. It said it is still a topic for discussion and the only thing they noted of significance was that maternal stress effected the baby's hormones in such a way that they had difficulty handling stress later on. And while there was a study about schizophrenia after the German invasion of the Netherlands, the conclusion that while they saw an increased risk the effect was a very small percent. Also, there was nothing mentioned about a mother with no first trimester stress having a child who has difficulty handling stress or anxiety in the future. Well, the point of the article seemed to be to establish a link between mental disorders and maternal stress. I'm sure many mothers with minimal prenatal stress in the first trimester have children with difficulty handling stress, but the chances would not be as high. Assuming ADD is a behavioral difficulty, this part of the article seems to imply that maternal stress has a high correlation with this type of disorder:
In a study of 7,144 mothers and babies from the Avon region of England, published in the December 2002 issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology (Vol. 14, No. 12), Glover and her colleagues found that women who reported experiencing high levels of anxiety during pregnancy were twice as likely as nonstressed women to have children with behavioral difficulties, depression and anxiety, which the researchers measured when the children were 4 and 7 years old. This was very interesting reading. While it hasn't led to an understanding of a biological reason for lesbians, (though that doesn't mean there isn't one), it didn't conclude that homosexuals were predetermined to have other mental disorders, again, it's related to stress only. Yes, that wasn't part of the scope of that article, but my point was that two phenomena with similar causes would probably have a positive correlation. AFAIK, there have been no recent studies trying to correlate homosexuality with mental disorders, but this could be because of the possible fallout. I mean, imagine what would happen if the Christian right got their hands on those studies? The article does say that the stress hormone androstendione can act like a weak version of testosterone, which could both masculinize females and feminize males.

Might come back and add some more when I have time.

"Several studies conclude that maternal stress seems to increase the chances of male homosexuals/transexuals in rats. This link is a fairly interesting read for anyone curious about the causes of homosexuality:
http://www.viewzone.com/homosexual.html"

...Whoa, hang on a second here. The results of any experiment can only, at best, demonstrate a correlation (or lack of one) and its strength. To infer, imply, suggest or speculate anything more than a correlation is not ethical, yet it occurs in the press every day, sadly. Unfortunately, experimental research produces results that are meant to spawn more research and to report findings, but the subsequent interpretation is all too often at the hands of the media, who tailors the interpretation to fit their agenda, whatever it may be.

I would hope that in this day and age, people would be less likely to blindly accept statements that infer any sort of causality. In reality, any research is severely limited in its ability to reveal or predict, due to the fact that you are selecting a sample to represent a population and people just don't adhere nicely to any one conclusion, we are individuals. If you read any study that suggests anything other than correlation, run the other way.