I've struggled with balance and have craved more balance in my life.

Reading "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?", Chapter 7 about balance. It says ADD folk can have problems with finding balance, "ADD brains and nervous systems are often out of balance with behavior swinging rapidly from one extreme to the other. An ADDer tends to excesses, alternating between bouts of workaholism and sluggish inactivity."

This sounds a lot like me. :o

Sometimes when I finish a project, I need down-time to regroup/ recover because I've been stimulated by what I was working on, and spending a lot of time, and mental and physical energy on it.

I'll put off something, then go all-out on it at the last minute to finish it - or be really engaged by something so will devote a lot of time and energy to it. When I finished the project I'm mentally exhausted and need down time. I'm going through this now. I had 2 big assignments I worked on the last 3 weeks I just completed, but I have other things I need to work on that are due, and it's hard to get motivated because I kind of wore myself out.

:faint: ... At times like this I feel like collapsing, retreating, and becoming a slug, sometimes become hermit-like staying in my apartment, limiting contact with others for a day or two. End up vegging on TV or movies for a couple evenings (sometimes putting off things, so then the cycle begins again). Based on what I've read, what I feel and experience is different than the Mania bipolars experience.

I need to figure out a way to work on things in a more steady, progressive manner and balance downtime and play into the mix all along so that I'm not see-sawing as often between working hard and needing to retreat.

According to this book some areas ADDers experience balance issues:

Work vs. Play
Structure vs. Freedom
"Achievement" vs. Less tangible goals
Your Needs vs. Others' Needs
Overstimulation vs. Understimulation
Hyperactivity vs. Hypoactivity
Detailed thinking vs. Global thinking
Depression vs. Euphoria

Question(s):
Do you have problems balancing things in your life?
How are you working on issues of balance?

Is there something you do when you realize you're out of balance in one ore more areas that helps you to realize you're unbalanced and break away from an extreme and come back toward the middle?

Does it take an outsider like a spouse or friend to point it out (i.e. you've been working a lot and we haven't gone out in a long time, did you finish project XYZ yet?, Maybe you should use a calendar or day planner)?

Thoughts? Comments? Strategies? :confused:

Peace, ~~bythesea

Excellent thoughts.

Thanks for reminding me what's important.:)

My phsyician, who is English, has also reminded me that "The cemetaries are full of "indispensable" people."

tc

yes yes yes yes!!!!!

YES!!

I'll have to get back to you. But yes, I completely relate. Have always struggled with balance.

Sorry about the fit, but I only two-three weeks ago learned that I have ADD, and after discovering this forum have been incredibly relieved to discover that I am not so "abnormal".

Thank you for your post.

Oh yes...

But for me, the balance is more attached to days, rather than projects. One day can really go perfectly workwise. Get into the flow, generate alot of great work, having my spouse call me asking me (yelling) where the f* I am.

The next day is often the complete opposite.

/fredde

woooow that is so true.
I do that with every project. I put it off until the last day, and so pressure gets me doing it..but then Im so engaged you couldn't pull me away from it if your life depened on it. And then I repeat..sluggish until last day, then hyperfocus. It is super annoying.

and no..no strategies or tips. I am lost and dont know how to deal with it.

Hahahahhahahahha wowo wheremykeys, that exactly what i ******* do. Finals really suck for doing that, and my first final isnt for 5 days and i had 3 weeks where i was working a bunch every day so im kinda burnt out.... which is never a good thing.

Plan for down time by allowing extra time between projects. Use timers calendars, other people, internal feeling what ever works. Take note of your own style and feeling. More than likely you know when a down time is coming up or your are fixing to go hyper full tilt boogie!!!!

Some times balance is elusive for the ADDer.....one thing that increases this feeling of inbalance is for us to have some misconception that we should experience balance like the non-ADDer next door or the ADDer on this forum. Each of us in unique with our own bio-rhythms so to speak!!!!

Look for cycles,
look for patterns connections what sets you in to a hyper frenzy and puts you into couch potato mode.

If it is between projects then schedule time to be a vege literally into your calendar. If you go in day long spurts then adjust schedule accordingly.

What I am saying is trying to completely change your self may be less likely to succeed in the long run. Modifying schedules allowing for your natural ebbs and flows, or making slight tweaks in some behavior is more likely to produce a life style you can realistically live with thereby increasing the chances for success.

Meds can help as can other people but YOU must commit to the process for it to work which is why modifications usually work better than drastic changes!!!!!!

Hope this helps

Tammy, good things to think about.

speaking of day-long spurts I spent all freaking day (part of my morning and then from about noon-ish or shortly after until 2am) working on a paper. I was aiming to have it in by 5pm. Doh! :eek: I'm still really baffled by this and frustrated. I swear, I think I used to be able to write some of my papers faster than this, so I have no idea what's happening here. I think it partly depends on the type of assignment.

Actually I was planning to have it done by this morning, but I fell into the down-time pit over the weekend (why I posted this thread), complicated by news that a long-time family friend had passed away.

How can it possibly take me so long to come up with 9 pages (8 pages plus 1 page bibliography)?

Now I know why I have anxiety over taking the 4 days of 4-hour timed essay exams in a month. :faint: ...:eek:

So... now I've been up almost 20 hours, I think I feel tired, but I'm not sure if I can sleep. I've been focusing so hard on writing and my eyes are buggy from staring at the monitor. Blah. But I kind of have that adrenaline why not just keep going and get a short little assignment done feeling. Of course knowing me I'll think it will take a half-hour and it will end up taking 2 or 3. But I did spend time on Saturday working on the piece that was likely to take me the longest, so that's ready to just plug in.

Probably better to get a little sleep before I have to leave for class in 5 hours and 10 minutes.

~~bythesea :confused: :o :faint:

This is simply incredible. I am reading this thread as if i wrote it. I have been like this all my life working in bouts of incredible productivity with intermittent periods of down time. I have not yet been diagnosed with Adult ADD (I am 38) but am more convinced than ever that I have it. It was resonably easy to cope with the lack of balance throughout my career (the "brilliant" periods overshadowed the non-productiveones) But now, as an independent contractor and the mother of children, there are no good down times and physically it's impossible to pull it off at deadline time now with children who depend on normalcy. Does anyone know of a good intake evaluation/testing clinic in Massachusetts so I can begin to address these issues?

Planner: I'm glad you found this site. P.S. we're about the same age. :)

If you want to go to the "biggies" if you can afford it (or insurance would cover it):

Dr. Hallowell of "Driven to Distraction" looks like there are 3 centers in MA, Sudbury, Andover, and Chestnut Hill.

http://www.drhallowell.com/hallowell_center/index.html

And if you are near the border with CT or don't mind driving a little, Dr. Brown is in Hamden, near New Haven, CT.

http://www.drthomasebrown.com/services/index.html

Otherwise you can check your insurance website for specialists, or check the CHADD website, or maybe ask your primary doc if they know someone they'd recommend. Maybe you can check with professional orgs like APA for listings?

That's all I can think of for now.

Good Luck!
~~bythesea

How can it possibly take me so long to come up with 9 pages (8 pages plus 1 page bibliography)?I did the exact same thing this past Thursday/Friday and was wondering the same thing. I once did five, 10 page research papers in two days and I couldn’t even get this one paper done on time working 12 hours straight.:confused:

I must be slipping as I get older.

James

Thank you bythesea. I have contacted both of them to try to get an appoinment asap before I self destruct ptofessionally. The other people referred to me are booked until March.

bythesea, you must be sneaking a peak over my shoulder or something. :)

That's basically my pattern. Goof off, goof off, goof off, then mad flurry of activity, finished just in time, then veg, then goof off, ...

In the meantime, the non-critical things just seem to get left by the wayside. When I'm in frantic mode, it's like deal with the fires now, smoke later. Then in veg mode I'm too tired, and in goof-off mode, I'm like the grasshopper in the story of the ant and the grasshopper -- tomorrow, tomorrow.

Although as a college student it is hard to do this ethically, my solution has basically been to offload as much of the mundane stuff as possible, so all I have to deal with is the fires. Fires I can handle (as long as someone else schedules me ;)), but boring stuff -- no way.

I'm not on meds, so maybe with meds I'd be able to do the boring stuff...

There is no balance for me I can either do one thing very well or everything terribly. For example I can either work or have a social life there is no mixing of the two. If I work I work every waking hour either at a job that allows unlimited overtime or at several jobs. I do this until I burn out and get sick and then I switch to social life for a bit and the cycle continues. I tried doing it the normal way working normal hours and having free time but it doesn't work I wind up amazingly unhappy at work and at home.

Planner:
Oh, I'm so glad that you're trying to get an appointment and start exploring this without having to wait until March. I hope one of them can fit you in sooner than that. Let me know when you get an appointment and which one you're going to. I'd be curious.

Uminchu: Yep, yep! That's it exactly. It's amazing to me too how often I have that same feeling that someone's been a fly on the wall in my apartment.

~~bythesea

How is it that I read something, found it pertinent enough to have highlighted it, and didn't remember having run across the info?

Was flipping through an ADD book looking for something else and instead found some things in relation to our discussions here about balance, how many of us tend to work in spurts, and needing down time and our procrastination in, "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?", in Chapter 4 - How Are We Different?

"Activity Levels in Flux. Many ADDers are both hyperactive and hypoactive. It seems that activity levels fluctuate between extremes... ... An ADDer's cycles, however, seem to have more intense peaks and slumps." pgs 56-57.

"The Miniscule Mental Fuel Tank. ... his thoughts can race around his head. He is mentally tired. A rapidly working brain expends much energy and quickly uses up its daily allotment. Adders tend to process information at a mind boggling pace and burn out just as quickly. ... Many of us think faster and fatigue more quickly than our non-ADD peers. Each of us needs to be aware of the impact of cognitive fatigue on our work tempo." pgs 67-69

"Shut Down Susceptibility. ...An overloaded brain is similar to an overloaded computer system. ... With excessive sensory information, the brain can also suffer from overload. ...The baffling coma of Shut Down is troubling but essential for our continued well-being. It is as if our brains must stop the onslaught so we can heal ourselves and renew our depleted reserves of mental energy. Rather than fighting it, we need to give in to it and accept the self-imposed rest time. Our brains must recharge. Each of us has to find the best way to facilitate this renewal." pgs 69-71

"The Don't do today what you can put off till tomorrow dynamic. ...But we're not talking about a conscious decision to procrastinate. We're talking about the frustration many of us feel every time we try to get started on anything. What appears to be stalling or an apparent unwillingness to do something is often a sign of the superhuman effort required to begin concentrating on a new task." pg 51

It's interesting how everytime I start to wonder about or doubt if I've found the right diagnosis/reason for my problems and issues, I'll run across something in one of these books that completely echoes something I've just been frustrated by or complaining about. Doh! :o :D ;)

Peace, ~~bythesea

P.S.

I also found a book that another student who has practiced couples counseling had recommended to me because of its sections on procrastination (even though it is largely about depression), "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy", by David D. Burns, M.D. "The Clinically Proven Drug-Free Treatment for Depression." People might find it interesting or helpful, especially since depression is often a comorid.