View Full Version : So why aren't you going for therapy?

12-04-05, 11:56 PM
I have a question for everyone,

Let's say you got diagnosed, whether self or doc or whatever,
and you're working on your life, striving for a balance or just casually working towards one but you're still struggling.
Now, the thought of going for therapy has appeared or you've decided to take a look at it, however there's something that's stopping you from starting it?/doing it?/going for it?

What is it?

Please answer via poll and feel free to type out and give you're opinions as to what is a deterrant for you to go for therapy?
If you're managing well enough, and decide well i really don't need it, well then don't bother answering this since you're doing fine on you're own.

However, if you're that person who is doing just about okay but need more help and might want to consider therapy what is it that STOPS you or makes you think twice before you go?

12-05-05, 01:20 AM
I'm a single parent so it's very difficult for me to find ME time during business hours and be able to pick my son up from after-school care by 6pm. Weekends aren't an option; either business is closed or I have no one to look after my son. This is also affecting my dating life. LOL Also, I'm not a fan of therapists being that I've studied counselling myself. I've had to resort to the online-counsellors a few times in the past. Listening to them 'paraphrase' me to death sounded too scripted and less sincere as to why I was calling in the first place.

I wasnt able to vote as you didn't list "other" in your selections. :D

12-06-05, 12:39 PM
Can't find an ADD therapist.

12-06-05, 01:26 PM
I was diagnosed 10 years ago as an adult, and chose alternative therapies, including counceling, to medicinal treatment for 2 years. It was a marvelous time, quite educational, and it did teach me a lot of coping mechanisms and communicative techniques. However, I still ended up on medications. I continued therapy and later an ADD coach, but still continued having trouble. Then I couldn't afford therapists anymore, but remained on medication. Now, several years later, I'm still on medication, but have had to adjust my environment to 'succeed', if indeed that is what I'm doing. More like surviving. My problems stem from severe ADHD classic type, obsessive compulsive disorder, and depression from all the chaos that seems to follow me, or attract me.

12-06-05, 02:27 PM
Almost any therapist can treat it, ofcourse and then there are those who don't believee in it.

12-06-05, 02:38 PM
I said I never considered it because my real answer wasn't an option.

I don't need it.

Therapy is certainly a great thing for people who need to learn coping strategies or who've developed psychological problems because of the disorder. I've been very lucky that neither of these is an issue for me.

Coping strategies I have. They just weren't enough. Medication took care of everything else.

12-07-05, 07:29 AM
I'm not so certain I need counceling or Therapy anyway, I find that this site is a lot like a support group to me, and that's enough for me.

12-07-05, 11:01 AM
None of the above. I tried counseling a couple years ago before I was diagnosed. My goal that I wrote on the intake form was that I wanted to learn to focus better. The best advice he gave me was to encourage me to keep drinking coffee (I hate coffee!!). After a while, and especially after spending a session describing my family tree, I decided it wasn't right for me and never went back. I took a counselling course the following semester and learned a lot of the skills he had been using - like mirroring the clients beahviour. I just thought he was figety too!

12-11-05, 12:44 AM
With children, which is the population I work with, therapy for ADHD is a little bit different.

For example, in doing an evidenced based (research substantiated that it works for that problem) therapy with ADHD-C & ADHD-H-I types, the only technique that works is a rewards based behavior managment/home token economy program.

Realistically, the only way to do that is through parent education via Family therapy.

For the Inattentive type, there are more options, however, the above technique also works well.

12-11-05, 02:27 AM
Hey I did not answer poll as my reason was not listed. I went for a few sessions but my shrink basically said I was coping quite well in spite of adhd so it seemed better not to keep paying him.

12-14-05, 12:37 PM
I can't find anyone in this town who deals with adult ADD--there was one guy, but he won't take our insurance. All the others want to treat the depression, but not worry about the underlying cause--ADD. Also. they all want to give me strattera, which I have already tried, and which doesn't work on me. Nobody will give me anything else, because they are afraid that I will turn into a meth junkie.

12-19-05, 03:33 PM
I think that everyone would probably benefit from therapy.

Mine is a combination of reasons. I have great health insurance - but don't want to spend two hours a week to leave work and go talk. I am happy now that I have my ADD under control and medication is working quite well. I have considered it, but don't think I'll need it. When I go in to re-adjust meds we chat for the full hour about different parts of my life and history.

12-19-05, 11:36 PM
I think that everyone would probably benefit from therapy.

Not only do I disagree, but the research does as well.

When I was first diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, my doc "forced" me to do 6 months of group therapy. I HATED IT. A bunch of whiney women covering the same stuff every session (2x/week) week after week after week. All of them had personality disorders.

I don't have "issues". If I want/need to talk about something, I've got plenty of friends and family (& a husband) to talk to. I'M NOT KNOCKING THERAPY. It's great for many and I've got a friend who benefited a GREAT deal from the 2 years she put into it. But not everyone needs it and not everyone benefits.

12-27-05, 08:04 PM

I am not very comfortable speaking w/ people. I don't really know why. I wish I didn't have such a problem w/it. I've gone through therapy, but I just can't talk about what's really dragging me down. Therapy sounds great. I just suck at talking to people about my real problems. I'm frozen in a permenant state of disinterest. I can't "get into" conversation.

01-09-06, 05:11 PM
I was diagnosed 3 months ago by a psychiatrist who focuses primarily on the chemical side of the ADD continuum. She said to go ahead and seek therapy with someone else if I found the emotional side getting unmanageable. At the time, she also diagnosed me with depression and the current working theory we have is that my depression will lift as the ADHD meds help me become more aware and focused and start creating a more positive track record.

In many ways she was right. I do feel more focused, am better organized and positive, and am less procrastinating. What I didn't count on was going thru the stages of grieving--you know, the denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Even though I had suspected ADHD for about 8 years, it still shocked me to have the real deal.

Well I haven't gone for therapy yet but will soon. My wife is tired of me processing this within the family and I empathize with her. She doesn't think I'm improving fast enough with the meds alone.

The main reason I've been very reluctant to go to therapy is that the last time I got involved with it, I felt very ripped off and uncomfortable both about the techniques of the therapist and the reaction from my wife

I had gone to my primary care physician and said, "hey, I'm forgetful, I lose stuff, annoy people and am impulsive. Do you think I might have ADD?" His response was to say that I would not be as successful as I am, so I couldn't have it. He checked my thyroid just in case and referred me to the mental health section of the medical group.

Once there, they didn't know what to do with me, either. My therapist decided I might have stress-related depression and had me doing TFT--thought field therapy (tapping my face and chest.) I felt a little silly, but I did get to dump my psychological history on him.

My wife was highly concerned about my counseling sessions, and (for reasons I won't go into now) asked/demanded that I recount my sessions with her and then would debate with me both my side and my counselor's side. Needless to say, that felt weird to me, too--especially since I had started to raise concerns about my marriage relationship with my counselor.

When I started not giving her reports, she took it as a breach of trust to her and after I responded that it was my treatment not hers, the resulting fight led me to conclude that the emotional upset just not worth it seeing as I was trying to find out how to heal emotionally.

Another path I've been investigating is Solutions-Oriented Brief Therapy. You can read about this approach in Michele Weiner-Davis's books (Divorce Busting, Fire Your Shrink) and in Bill O'Hanlon's writings (see Do One Thing Different.)

What's appealing to me is that it focuses on what works instead of trying to rehash the past and find the core issue to resolve. I'm trying it now and focusing on solutions and goals. My wife is convinced, though, that healing is going to require a resolution of a presently-unknown, messy psychogical wound from my past that I've been denying all my life.

Sorry for the ramble. I got to thinking and one thing led to another....:)

01-10-06, 01:40 PM
I'm glad you brought this up.

About 3 years ago, we had a therapist who works in our (non-profit/rural) community mental health center's school based program, ask permission to do TFT.

My supervisor and I had just spent quite a bit of time discussing some articles on the ethical concerns regrading TFT.

I can't remember if the articles were in the National Psychologist, which I get at work, or the APA Monitor, which he gets.

The bottom line is that he showed me an article on 2 psychologists in another state, I want to say Ariz, but Im not positive, that had lost their licenses over using TFT.

With one exception,no one that I know ( and respect) uses that.

At any rate, the school based program therapist was denied permission to use that.

In fact, no one is allowed to use that technique here at our facility.

Actually, this is the best group of clinicans we've ever had in my 22 years here, and no one would ever consider using TFT in the first place.

I think one of the things that cost the 2 previously mentioned practitioners their licenses was something along the lines of "tapping the clients aura over the phone."

After many years of training, I do a mean "Curly" imitiation from the 3 Stooges, so that was what I did when I heard that.

When I found out it wasn't a joke, I was mystified anyone would go for that.

As far as therapy for ADHD goes, I can tell you that I have gone several times, however, not necessarily for ADHD per se'.

My having ADHD gives me a distinct advantage over a non-ADHD clinician in working with ADHD kids.

Research has supported behavior managment/home token economies, as the ONLY therapeutic technique that works for the ADHD-Combined and ADHD-Hyperactive -Impulsive types.

Therefore, I spend a large part of my day doing Family therapy to help parents set up and maintain those programs.

I would think that therapy for an ADHD adult would be very helpful from the standpoint of learning what the disorder is really all about.

Unfortunately, there are many professionals who havent kept up with the research and, in my personal & professional opinion, "just don't get it."

The more you can read and learn about the science of ADHD, the better you'll be able to understand how it affects you.

good luck & welcome to the Forum:)

mctavish23 (Robert)

01-11-06, 10:04 PM
My reason is not listed in the POLL.

I feel that "treatment" does nothing for me.

Counselling and Therapy are non-existent, from what i can tell.

All a Doctor/Psychiatrist does is listen and write Rx's. No real help seems available.

I would get more help in the mental health system if i had a "real" mental illness, i think.

I feel that i have gotten worse since diagnosis and treatment/medication.


01-11-06, 11:34 PM
Each and every practitioner you (or anyone ) sees will be different in the sense that their personalities and way(s) of doing the same things may be carried out differently.

I've said this many times and it still rings true.

"Therapy (really) is more art than science."

Research has consistently shown that the rapport established between therapist and client is the most important determining factor in the "success" or "failure" of therapy.

Managed care insurance has forever changed what psychiatrists now do in terms of their practices.

They no longer do "therapy," as my dad used to do + prescribe.

Now it's all about 15 min med checks.

In working with ADHD children, I have the luxury of being up to date on evidenced based interventions.

In other words, I know what works and what won't.

Part of my job is teaching parents how to implement and maintain rewards based behavior managment/home token economies.

What I cannot do is make sure they do it consistently or, for that matter, correctly.

I always try and ascertain what the parents expectations are and then balance that against the presenting complaint(s).

It isn't easy, nor is it an exact science.

I do believe working with adults is harder than kids, however, I have colleagues that feel it's the other way around.

Not "clicking" with a therapist is not too unusual.

Neither is the experience of encountering diffcult clients.

Most, if not all, therapists that I know, including those I work with, would never "tell" anyone what to do.

They'd give homework assignments and then check to saee if they were done.

There are no "magic wands," just as no therapist can "fix" someone.

01-12-06, 12:07 AM
I don't think therapy did much for me (I had to go a bunch of times as a kid). That doesn't mean it won't work for anybody else though. I've known quite a few people that have had great success when seeing a psychologist. I think it has a lot to do with the person and what they are actually in therapy for. I never went to therapy for ADHD so I'm not familiar with what they work on with you but if it's something your struggling with it's definately worth checking into.

And yeah a Psychiatrist doesn't do therapy they do medication management if you question them about therapy sessions or ask about getting more help they will refer you to a psychologist.

01-12-06, 09:56 PM
I really love my therapist, and she has helped me in every area of my life except my ADD. I guess that kind of underscored my desire to go find out FOR SURE that I had it. I just got diagnosed (by a specialist MD), and she kept teling me prior that she didn't think I was ADD. I think she just doesn't know enough about it.

I still think she's great though, because she totally respects my need to seek other help, and will be here for me while I go through the process of getting meds etc.

She always tried to chalk up my issues (messy, unorganized, unable to get started on things, blah blah blah you all know) to my family stuff, and she could totally be right on some level, but now I feel more balanced being able to work out my stuff from both angles, family disfunction as well as ADD.

cheers all!