Why does it seem like school systems and peers look down on me because I have ADHD?

Before I got tested at had multiple teachers litterally insult me when I claimed I had ADHD, and needed to be tested.
The comments summed up something like this "Adam, Shut up, you do not have ADD you just have a poor attitude and you're lazy"

This site has been my "Support group" of sorts, since I've "self-diagnosed" myself, and started medication. So, I was having a really bad day today, and was unable to work because my thoughts were drifting and I would find myself staring at my paper for lengths of time without doing anything or realizing that I'm not doing anything... just thinking. So I took the oppertunity to log onto the site from school, and when my friend next to me saw I was logging into an ADHD based community he laughed histerically and called all sorts of uneccessary and frankly embarrassing attention to me.

I felt embarrassed to even be in the class room. All my friends are clueless and explaining it to them has become more of a chore than it's worth, the teachers are claiming that I must not have anything wrong with me since the strattera is having no effect.

I just don't get why people I would otherwise consider to be idiots and ignorant are able to justify looking down on me because I have ADHD...

I hate people... GRRRRR

Sorry for the rant...

I'm so sorry about what happened with you. It's annoying when people do hurtful things out of ignorance. On the bright side, at least you're not the one who's being vindictive (sometimes stuff like this builds character).


And don't feel embarassed because of add or anything else--as soon as you;re comfortable with yourself, amazingly, it won't really matter what everybody thinks (lol--maybe that's why old people get away with wearing and saying odd things all the time ;)) But seriously, I understand, and hope you'll still come here :)

((hugs))

You know that just stinks.
At this point you don't need the grief.
I agree it can be a chore explaining it.
The other students don't need to know you are AD/HD.

None of us can say why people act like idiots towards ADD.
That's why we come to this Forum and seek each other out.
You are not alone Adamant1988.
Most of us can relate to how you felt in class that day.
Things will get better and until they do you have all of us.

The comments summed up something like this "Adam, Shut up, you do not have ADD you just have a poor attitude and you're lazy"
Try martial arts. You'd be amazed at how implied bodily harm will get idiots to shut up when nothing else works.

I just don't get why people I would otherwise consider to be idiots and ignorant are able to justify looking down on me because I have ADHD...
There was an interesting study done a while back that showed that people who were incompetent were completely incapable of recognizing their own incompetence, or in recognizing the competence of others. In other words, I think that part of the problem is that those idiots have no clue as to how their actions are ignorant.

Of course, there is the fact that ignorance and anti-intellectualism seem to be in vogue in this country right now...

when my friend next to me saw I was logging into an ADHD based community he laughed histerically and called all sorts of uneccessary and frankly embarrassing attention to me.

I am sorry some people feel they must put others down in order to feel confident/important. This is a disorder far worse than ADD!!!!

Responses to such an intrusion and that is exactly what this person next to you did was intrude upon you and your space....

#1 "Do you not have any business of your own to tend to? "

#2 "If what you are looking at is not interesting enough you can change WEB pages on your own computer by clicking the mouse. You do know how ; do this do you not?

#3 Look as if the hysterical laughter is being done by a "mad man" who is totally out of his mind.

#4 Claim research..you are researching ADD. You are not obligated to say why you are researching it!!!!!

#5 Simple ask laughing hyena Do you know what ADD is???....I would only recommend this if you are able to comfortably explain this or if an explanations are appropriate in setting. If you approach ADD in a clinical manner most will be wondering what is so funny about a chemical imbalance.

Most Important you are NOT obligated to share your diagnosis with any one whom you do not feel comfortable. What is going on in your life is your business and the business of those whom you choose. Why you are here on this site is no ones business but yours period!!!!

You are not in the wrong you were wronged.

One thing that may help you in understanding my perspective is by learning about personal boundaries. Having boundaries and learning about others is an ADD must in my book. ADDers either do NOT have any of there own or tend to have ridged ones but violate others boundaries. We ADDers do not categorize well and a side effect of this is to have poor boundaries.

Try martial arts. You'd be amazed at how implied bodily harm will get idiots to shut up when nothing else works.

Teachers don't tend to respond well to threats of physical violence :P

Thanks for your input all... I've had an incredibly frustrating last few days. Thanks in part to my pills not working yet, my girlfriend lying to me, people making fun of my ADHD (which is now the "cool" gossip among my friends... GRRRR), family problems, low grades... I'm stressed....

Adamant1988 said:
Why does it seem like school systems and peers look down on me because I have ADHD?
Maybe it's because your short, people tend to look up to me :rolleyes: :)

Well Adam, if your friend thought it was that hysterically hilarious, it seems to me that he has problems and self doubt of his own that he is trying to minimise by magnifying and ridiculing yours.

Don't let your insecure friend bother you.

Adamant1988 said:

Maybe it's because your short, people tend to look up to me :rolleyes: :)

Well Adam, if your friend thought it was that hysterically hilarious, it seems to me that he has problems and self doubt of his own that he is trying to minimise by magnifying and ridiculing yours.

Don't let your insecure friend bother you.

LOL, I'm not *that* short. I'm about 5' 7".

eachers don't tend to respond well to threats of physical violence
I didn't say threat. I said implication. Important difference. By "implication," I mean that you'd be amazed how just stretching can make people more polite sometimes. There's also the fact that it teaches you not to back down from confrontations, but just stand your ground and have confidence in yourself.

Don't let your insecure friend bother you.Toad is right. People who are secure and self accepting don't go around making fun of others. Sorry you were treated so badly. It's really okay to be you -- ADD and all! It's hard to find self acceptance when others are unaccepting, but that's when it's most important. Do you have any good support people in your life? That can be a really tremendous help. Besides my counselor, I've got a really terrific friend that really cares and really accepts and likes me for who I am -- that can make a huge difference.

Take care,
Scattered

I just don't get why people I would otherwise consider to be idiots and ignorant are able to justify looking down on me because I have ADHD...

I hate people... GRRRRR

Sorry for the rant...

Like several others said it has much to do with his own importance/ self esteem issues. High School was so full of jerks like that. Unfortunately, the working world is too. I've been in office situations where you don't discuss anything personal because it only gives the jerks ammunition for their personal gain. Build your coping skills now.

think that the gossip will pass soon and someone else will be the group focus hang in there until then eventually they will all forget

[QUOTE=Hyperion]I didn't say threat. I said implication. Important difference./QUOTE]

The real difference here seems to be semantics. You would be depending on the teacher's interpretation of the difference and their own perception. These teachers don't really seem the type to split hairs about it. Being a HS teacher, I'd advise to handle it in a different manner for your own benefit.


That being said, I do have ADD, my daughter has ADHD, and I teach HS. I think that I have an uncommon perspective when it comes to school systems and ADHD.
As a person with ADD, I completely understand the frustration of trying to advocate for yourself and it being used against you. Those who don't live with ADD/ADHD and claim to understand are ridiculous and they are the ones who may think that "everyone" is this way or think that you should be able to do everything at once because of ADHD. Unfortunately, their ideas and opinions aren't flexible enough to allow for the possibility that they are WRONG.
As a parent, I get frustrated when my daughter's accommodations aren't being met or respected by her teachers. And, I hurt inside when she tells me about some of her friends and how they hurt her.
As a teacher, I hear students discuss being ADHD quite often. There actually are some students who will tell me that they didn't take their medication that morning so they could act any way they want. Those few students are frustrating and may be the types that your teachers encounter more often than not. However, that does not justify or excuse the responses you've received from them. It is sad that there are teachers who feel that students should learn and work in only one way or that there is only one way to be successful. Those teachers are wrong and should change careers or retire. I am sorry that you have encountered this.

Most students who approach me about their ADHD are sincerely trying to do what they need to (otherwise they likely wouldn't be talking to me about it). I may or may not share with them that I am ADD. Either way, they seem to be amazed that I can actually understand what they are going through and am willing to work with them. I know that I am more effective with my students because of my ADD.

Hmmm...several other thoughts here.

You said that you were self-diagnosed but taking medication. Who/what type of doctor is prescribing the meds.? Would this doctor be able to give you an official diagnosis that the school would have to recognize and work with?
Is it possible to set up a meeting with you, your family, and your school to asses your educational needs with regard to your ADHD? It is a long process in MD, not sure about WV, but if it gives you the educational accommodations to help you be successful, it is worth it.
Would your family be willing to confront the school and/or specific teachers when innappropriate comments are made to you. Regardless of ADHD, no teacher has the right to call a student lazy (et. al.)--AND--they are likely not qualified to either diagnose ADHD or rule it out for you.
Friends..that's a lot harder. I would bet that there are many more students with ADHD than will admit to it.
School counselors? Would they be helpful? Might they have a group for students dealing with ADHD?
I don't know if this is helpful or not. Please don't stop believing in yourself or the fact that the ADHD does impact you. Keep seeking the support you need to make it through. You can be successful, it may be more a matter of finding the strategies that work best for you.

be well,
tristan

You said that you were self-diagnosed but taking medication. Who/what type of doctor is prescribing the meds.? Would this doctor be able to give you an official diagnosis that the school would have to recognize and work with?
Is it possible to set up a meeting with you, your family, and your school to asses your educational needs with regard to your ADHD? It is a long process in MD, not sure about WV, but if it gives you the educational accommodations to help you be successful, it is worth it.
Would your family be willing to confront the school and/or specific teachers when innappropriate comments are made to you. Regardless of ADHD, no teacher has the right to call a student lazy (et. al.)--AND--they are likely not qualified to either diagnose ADHD or rule it out for you.
Friends..that's a lot harder. I would bet that there are many more students with ADHD than will admit to it.
School counselors? Would they be helpful? Might they have a group for students dealing with ADHD?


be well,
tristan

I don't have an official diagnosis because I could not afford the battery of tests by a psychologist. My family physician chose to start me on the medication (strattera) and if I react positively to it, he will give me the official diagnosis. As for meeting special educational needs, It's hard to tell what the school would do with me. Our school is "laid-back" in relation to the staff, and how work is done. It doesn't matter what was agreed on by the school board for myself, none of the teachers would act on any of it.

I do talk to my school counselor enough that she's taken to calling me "son". She isn't really much of a help though, it seems like the guidances first priority is to get me back to class ASAP. Not talk to me.

When it comes to teacher conduct though, if a complaint was filed it would just make hell for me, and it would be dismissed. Like I said, the school is very laid back about the teacher-student relationship. My favorite teacher in the school insults me on a regular basis, and I just rap of a quip of my own. I always know she doesn't mean it because she and I both have very sarcastic senses of humor, and we just get a kick out of it. But Stalnaker on the other hand, doesn't laugh or joke with me, she just insults me. It doesn't matter if I made a complaint, because it would be dissmissed as joking.

The school system here sucks.

I am so sorry that your school system is not supportive. I do know that you/parents can request an initial meeting and it has to be held w/in 30 days. Parents can also request testing be done through the school system and the results must be discussed w/in 90 days. Hopefully the strattera will help you regardless of how supportive the school is.

It's sad to me that you the school system supports this dysfunctional learning environment. Obviously, you should not have to keep this to yourself because life would be worse otherwise. So much for the govt. program "no child left behind". I wish it were different for you. Though you may not see it now, by being aware of your needs, you have such an advantage over other students (and closed minded teachers).

Again, keep believing in yourself and seeking support where you can. As you indicated, it is the system that is the problem.

tristan

I thought about confiding to my friends, but then I'd realize that all they'd think was "So... you have mental problems?" I still might tell a really close friend of mine, though, whom suffers from depression and I suspect has ADD himself...

As for your teachers who tried to dismiss your ADD and called you lazy, that p issed me off just reading that. I'd like to be open about ADD, but I've accepted that "normal" people are too narrow-minded and insecure to look beyond the stigma of "mental disorder". Hell, even my parents still dont understand anything about ADD.

Adam,

Please keep in mind that you have rights under the law to reasonable accomodations. I do not believe that you would attempt to abuse this, but if you think there is some reasonable accomodation the school can make for you, stand up for yourself. They are legally obligated to listen.

Adam,

Please keep in mind that you have rights under the law to reasonable accomodations. I do not believe that you would attempt to abuse this, but if you think there is some reasonable accomodation the school can make for you, stand up for yourself. They are legally obligated to listen.

Not until I furnish a diagnosis... which will be on tuesday, hopefully, since the Adderall seems to be doing the trick..

[QUOTE=Adamant1988] So I took the oppertunity to log onto the site from school, and when my friend next to me saw I was logging into an ADHD based community he laughed histerically and called all sorts of uneccessary and frankly embarrassing attention to me. QUOTE]

Allow me to stick my two cents in here.

A real friend wouldn't do that. Hanging with people that bring you down is unhealthy, with or without AD/HD.


Just remember: A so-called friend will get you drunk; a real friend will hold your hair up when you throw up.:D Remeber that for when you turn 21.