View Full Version : Anyone else in a relationship have this problem?


Adamant1988
12-12-05, 04:29 PM
I'm not sure if this is just the obsessive nature of my being that comes coupled with ADHD, but it's worth asking.

My girlfriend and I have recently had multiple occasions which resulted in days or weeks apart. I can't even describe how it makes me feel to my own satisfaction. I'm a really even-tempered person, but I've found that things like my girlfriend working or going off on small vacations makes me really upset. I don't know why it does, but it's like I know I'm missing out on something, and my head feels more congested than normal when she's gone for lengths of time like that...

Anyone else notice this? or am I just weird?

CharlieM
12-19-05, 05:38 PM
I doubt this has anything to do with AD(H)D.

More than anything, you are just in love with this person, and want to spend as much time as you can with her. Once being around her becomes habitual, a change in that pattern (such as her small vacations, etc.) can result in what you describe. Little things accumulate (wanting to tell her something but she isn't there, etc.), can generally give you a claustrophobic/congested feel. The extra free time that probably accompanies it doesn't help matters either.

For many people with ADHD, it can be quite the opposite. You want to get away from that person (which is why, along with other reasons, I broke up with my girlfriend after half a year). You want to go and talk to different people all the time, and being 'stuck' (meant in a non-offensive way) with the same person day in day out can just be kind of a drag (once again: I really don't mean it in an as-offensive way).

Just be happy you aren't like that ;)

Then again, the grass always seems greener on the other side...

FightingBoredom
12-19-05, 06:09 PM
Yeah, IMO, this isn't ADHD related. It might be just a little co-dependent...just a little. :D

I find that when my wife goes to work or is gone for extended periods I feel more calm, focused, and it seems as though the kids even get along better.
When she comes back I swear my blood pressure goes up 10% and my desire to self medicate can sometimes go through the roof.

So, be happy you feel the way you do.....we felt the same way....quite some time ago. Enjoy it.

barbyma
12-19-05, 09:19 PM
You may not be co-dependent, either. You're still a teenager. Your romantic relationships are intense. Separations feel painful. It's normal.

With maturity and experience, you'll feel more secure in relationships and this intensity will turn into something more productive like patience and affection.

leenie
01-24-06, 12:32 PM
Im 35 next month and I have been married to my 2nd husband just over 2 years now...I still feel lonely when he goes to work...lol. I believe my own case is being very in love and just a little co- dependant :rolleyes: lol. I do enjoy time to myself don't get me wrong but I find myself thinking about him the whole time. It was never like this with my Ex husband...

LENNOX LEWIS
05-04-06, 12:15 AM
I'm not sure if this is just the obsessive nature of my being that comes coupled with ADHD, but it's worth asking.

My girlfriend and I have recently had multiple occasions which resulted in days or weeks apart. I can't even describe how it makes me feel to my own satisfaction. I'm a really even-tempered person, but I've found that things like my girlfriend working or going off on small vacations makes me really upset. I don't know why it does, but it's like I know I'm missing out on something, and my head feels more congested than normal when she's gone for lengths of time like that...

Anyone else notice this? or am I just weird? dude your just jealous ....
"she feels free when shes around me I am letting her doing her, in turn shes doing me shes on the phone with her friends like how cool is he"-Jay-Z

dormammau2008
05-04-06, 09:49 AM
if she loves you she allways come back to you dorm witch i think she dose we carnt live toghter 24/7.......they have alife as you do treat them how you like to be treats d allways works best

~boots~
05-04-06, 10:22 AM
Adam over time you will love it when she goes out, and still love it when she come home again:p

sehrita
05-04-06, 01:19 PM
Adamant1988,

How long have you been with your girlfriend?

I know in the beginning with my boyfriend it drove me crazy to be apart. Well not literally crazy but I felt so alone and just had to be with him all the time. I found that with time all of that tapered off as I became more comfortable and secure in my relationship.
Now, a year later I am like that only once in a while with him. We really only see each other on the weekends (of course talk on the phone everyday). When he had to leave a while back for a business trip to Canada I felt so lonely and missed him so much it hurt. I believe it was because I knew he wasn't just 15 minutes away if I wanted to see him. Otherwise I am now completely content to be alone... Maybe because that is when I can get all the stuff done that I put off. Such as schoolwork, housecleaning, laundry, etc.... Of course, I totally look forward to seeing him on our planned weekends! Nothing beats the cuddles! Everyday cuddles would be best, but I am content with how things are now... I know its temporary. :)

Adamant1988
05-04-06, 03:44 PM
Old thread. and yeah, this still goes on to an extent. however it was determined that the root of my fears about her being at work were caused by hallucinations and paranoia created by my bipolar disorder, the symptoms were constant though, which was unusual. risperdal has significantly decreased my fears about her leaving me for a while.

LENNOX LEWIS
05-05-06, 01:35 PM
dude what kinda of thoughts were you having cheating on you or her getting hurt?????

Adamant1988
05-05-06, 03:44 PM
I was having "imagined images" that played in my head like movies. There was one that involved her that was repeating. The image showed her being raped violently by 5 guys at work. My therapist helped me realise that this single image has been the cause of a lot of protective feelings, and nigh paranoid worries about my fiance.

dormammau2008
05-06-06, 04:10 PM
hello adum your mind raceing i can seeee ans with bipoler an psy effctssss...but your a nice guy keeping going is the best you can do dorm

Crazy~Feet
05-06-06, 11:06 PM
Yeah, IMO, this isn't ADHD related. It might be just a little co-dependent...just a little. :D

I find that when my wife goes to work or is gone for extended periods I feel more calm, focused, and it seems as though the kids even get along better.
When she comes back I swear my blood pressure goes up 10% and my desire to self medicate can sometimes go through the roof.

So, be happy you feel the way you do.....we felt the same way....quite some time ago. Enjoy it.While I realise this is an old thread, I am compelled to reply to this, Fighting Boredom. My hubby just spent the last 3 weeks away from home going to school to be a truck driver. And every time he left, I felt like you do when your wife goes to work and every time he comes home, well, I dunno about my blood pressure but I sure can relate to what you said (yep, even the kids and the CATS for crying out loud!), right down to wanting to run, not walk, to my Zanax bottle...which I seldom touch. Right this moment I can honestly say I cannot wait for him to get his first assignment and get out from under my feet, although I love him dearly.

Now, I wonder...is THIS situation related to ADD? :confused: I just feel so much more freedom to hyper-focus when he is gone, and it feels almost intrusive at times, like he is interrupting my "flow", especially when I feel the urge to hyper-focus on cleaning, because he is quite the slob. ~*big sigh*~

dormammau2008
05-12-06, 11:28 AM
the thing i find is i get on with meany peps an some merstkit my knidsness for something diff or they like it to be more than it is ,,,,,,i misss cussss i think carnt allways tell if someones haveing fun with me or flriting with me then again maybe i just confrusss them lol cos iam a frlity person lol....as to hyper focusing yeh when iam in one them i do tones ofve stuff iam like a blue fly bouncing off the walls from one thing to the nxet dorm