I've been trying to come up with the moment when I realized I had attention problems and I can't. I can, however, think of several moments of "enlightenment." Hopefully some of you will share such stories. Here's a couple of mine.

When I knew my son needed meds:

Before one of our many trips to a bookstore, I told my 8yo ADD son that he could buy ONE book this trip, and it could not be "Book A", a particular book he'd put on his holiday gift list. Since he couldn't get "A", which he REALLY wanted, he was confused about what to choose. I saw a book I knew he'd like and suggested it. He picked it up and said, "I don't know...." So I left him alone and looked around on my own. When I came back he was sitting on the floor, a sad look on his face, with three books in front of him: the book I'd picked out, "Book A", and a book his father had pointed out to him. When I asked him what was wrong, he burst into tears and said, "I dddoooon't know which one to chooooose!"

Now I know he has a hard time making decisions, but this was heartbreaking. He really wanted "Book A", but couldn't have it just then. Finally, he asked his little brother to choose between the other two for him.

Another story:
I've ALWAYS made "careless" mistakes, especially in math. I often do silly things like putting books in the fridge or leaving my keys in the door. I never actually remember doing any of these things, so I have always thought I just work too fast and skip over important info.

Then, a few weeks ago, I'm carefully copying down a formula from the board in a multivariate stats class, and I saw "N +", wrote it down, then looked up for the next part and saw "N -". I SAW IT WRONG. It wasn't that I remembered it wrong, or that I wrote it down wrong, I SAW IT WRONG.

I realized that all those times I'd told my hubby, "You never told me that..." I was most likely mistaken! I thought it was HIM. I thought HE had a memory problem!

My moment for enlightenment when was when my friend Matt was diagnosed. He was much calmer than I, and with better school preformance... That coupled with a teachers mocking suggestion of my potential for having it led to me getting checked out.

But once I actually read up on what was going on with me, that was my moment of enlightenment. I realized for the first time in my life that my poor academic preformance, and all those little problems my family has with me, weren't me, but a brain dysfunction... That made me feel a lot better about myself, I guess.

Well, it was probably when I went on line to try and figure out what in the world was wrong with me and typed in all my symptoms, starting with daydreams! The next gazillion entries were about ADHD. I thought I'd scroll down and find something else, but I never found the bottom!:eek: Hmmm, I think to myself. I was diagnosed as hyperactive as a kid, do you suppose?:eyebrow:

I've had lots of confirmation since then!

Scattered

Ironically, I had joked being attention deficit whenever I did something really "off" whether it was at home, school, grad classes, etc. I think it was a way to cover up/play off my feelings of incompetence and embarassment. Then when my 10 YO daughter was diagnosed two years ago, I began to pay attention to the reality behind my jokes about my attentional issues.

Last spring when my mind had a loose connection with reality, all h*&%$ broke loose inside my head. I really began to think I was seriously affected by it. Later in the summer, a psychiatrist did an assessment and diagnosed me.
But the real enlightenment comes every time I realize just how much the ADD has affected my life. How it explains so many things I've gone through, thoughts I've had, feelings and emotions that so many others couldn't relate to. So now I have a name for this part of me and it's a neurobiological brain disorder. However, I get so anxious realizing how globally I'm affected (impaired?) and so many other people can't see any of it, or think it's a bunch of nonsense, made-up, used as an excuse, etc.

I am enlightened nearly every day about my ADD and I feel more anxiety each time. What to do about that? Does "knowing" have to hurt? Is it the jumping board to begin to work around my ADD? I am so lost with this.

be well,
tristan

I always wondered how people could sit still for so long without it physically hurting. I believe I was five.

With my son, it was sitting on one of those little chairs as I listened to his first-grade teacher tell me about how he was always zoning out, always last to finish his work, always losing things, always forgetting things, always raising his hand after an explanation and saying "I don't understand."

I had seen these things, of course, but since I was the same way at his age :rolleyes:, I never thought too much of it. But when I got the whole litany from his teacher, it hit me that hey, this ain't normal!

For me, it's when I picked up a copy of "Driven to Distraction." After about a page, I was like, "Whoa! This is me!"

My enlightenment moment was in my last year of high school when decided to write a paper on ADD and picked up a book on the subject and was shocked at how well it described me.

Experiences that I think back on now...

- Durring my first swimming lesson I had to be rescued by the life guard because I got bored and decided to see if I could walk all the way across the bottom of the pool.
- In grade 2 or 3 I didn't realize that I cut my eyebrow open on a fence untill I heard some kids telling the teacher about a girl who was bleeding and turned around to see who they were talking about.
- I invented an imaginary friend that climbed around on furniture and made faces at the teacher to entertain me durring school.
- In grade 7 I almost got kicked out of the school play because I couldn't remember to check the board for rehersal times. In grade 9 I did miss out on being in the play - same reason.
- Grade 10 - spending half an hour organising my notebook, photocopying all the handouts that I lost, putting everything in the same order as my friend's notebook, and still failing the "note book check" my teacher loved to do.
- OAC (grade 13) - having to explain to the teacher that I lost my homework in my binder but I'd find it by the end of the period.

I could go on forever

Deep down I always knew something was wrong. I was just scared to tell anyone since I was convinced they would think I was crazy. Nehow....I was watching Oparh and she had a show about ADD. As I listened I was shocked at how well this fit me. Then read a book and it was like a alarm going off. So I decided to tell my family which no one wanted to belive me. (saying I was too smart like I say often so many people are in the dark)
Giving up I forgot about it for 3 months. Then my baby brother was told to have it by the USC shink. So then my mom, other brother, and sister all went to the doctor and were told they had it. So I finally went. The reason my mom was against it was b/c we all had it so she thought it was normal! :)

I remember a teacher telling my mom i should be tested and asked her if she new about add and ritalin. my mom said drugs for hyper kids are fo parents that cant raise kids, well thanks mom i am 35 now and finnally getting help.

I always wondered how people could sit still for so long without it physically hurting. I believe I was five.

What an amazing thought to have as a five year old. You are in essence diagnosing yourself right there. This is one of the very very very very few times where I am actually not unhappy that I have ADD.

For me many of these realization moments came after watching the other kids around me. When I saw that there were kids that were actually paying attention in class because they were asking good questions I realized that they were not pretending to be paying attention like I was, while daydreaming and thinking about my own things. I remember frowning at several and being like WHAT is wrong with you! I couldn't believe it! I was convinced that sitting in class consisted on pretending to be paying attention while daydreaming and that everyone did that.

When other kids were playing put on one place I thought they must have been told off by their parents or something while I was constantly running around at playtime in the morning.

Physical education. I wasn't alone here, there were a few other kids even less coordinated than me. I remember we had to play football (soccer) and it was like a torture for me, but it felt really good at the end.
:) ;)

plus many more...

All these childhood stories are interesting. My bipolar "self" is so much stronger than the ADD side that all my childhood "revelations" are about being different are related to depression and self-loathing, with no real basis.

It's particularly interesting to me because I didn't focus on how my behavior differed from that of other kids. I did well in school; the only ADHD comments on my reports cards were "Barbara spends too much time talking to her neighbors" and "Barbara is doing very well, but could do better". The mood problems always overshadowed anything ADHD might have contributed.

Looking back (and even now) it's hard to see which of my childhood behaviors I can attribute to BiP and which to ADHD. I do know that what sent me for help -- the complete cognitive shut-down -- is definitely ADHD. But, impulsivity and hyperactivity are traits of both.

My "aha" moment was actually a few years ago, but looking back on my school days I should have figured out that something was up (other than the depression which pretty much ruined my 20s.) In college I could never write a paper, could never decide on a topic, never find sources, would always wander off track doing research, etc. The end of the semester was always an ordeal, because everything I had procrastinated doing was now due, and it was overwhelming. Back then I had never heard of ADD, and most other people hadn't either, especially since I wasn't hyperactive, but a hardcore daydreamer.

What an amazing thought to have as a five year old. You are in essence diagnosing yourself right there.

Yea because I was so active I may have actually had my ADHD picked up early IF I had been born closer to the nineties!!!! Back in the late sixties and early seventies I was first thought to be mentally retarded, but after days of testing they decided I was simply poorly disciplined.

The amazing part of my childhood is although my mom was accused of being a poor at discipline me she didn't buy into it. My mom disciplined me in ways the experts didn't begin recommending until my children were almost grown!!!!

Mom said I often had a hard time sitting still and she wondered if I was listening when she spoke. Instead of being harsh she was observant. She was able to tell by my responses, questions and actions that I indeed heard what she said. She was able to see that I had the ability to wiggle and listen at the same time!!!!!! It was my mom who is the amazing one I would have been a much different person had she not been so accepting of me and my hyper activity!!!! She made accommodations before they were accommodations.

Mom said I often had a hard time sitting still and she wondered if I was listening when she spoke. Instead of being harsh she was observant. She was able to tell by my responses, questions and actions that I indeed heard what she said.
My mom gave up trying to dicipline me early on. She just reasoned with me and expected me to eventually get it, or catch up, regardless how fast I was moving. So, she must have realized that I was able to understand her, whereas other adults just thought I was nuts and not to be trusted. I didn't think of this until I read your quote.

I was very hyper. One of my mom's friends said I would enter her house like a tornado, and would soon be tap dancing on the coffee table. When she confronted me angrily, I would slow down long enough to deliver a bizarre but plausible or amusing explanation for my behavior. Which mollified her or got her laughing.

I remebered some of this a couple of months after my older brother told me he had ADD. Everyone considered my brother to be a bit 'nervous.' They considered me completely outrageous.

That's when I explored the ADD angle as a potential source of my adult lunacy.

Those who know me on this board have heard me say that I believe I have SCT and I also believe I have a language based LD.

Anyways,... the momement was grade 1, as the teacher did the rote thing at the front of the class with the basic words of the English langauge...it, the, and. The word was said, then spelt, and then repeated in a sentence. At that time, I couldn't keep up. We were supposed to cut out these basic words from the dittos and make the most simplest sentences. But nothing was sticking to me. The learning wasn't happening with me internally while all around me I could see the neurons firing. For me that day, I could only remember a word or two. I couldn't make the sentences and it didn't get better...I was that different at such a young age.