It may be the season...winter....or the holidays.....but I'm just really having a hard time...and I just don't see the point in anything.
I keep doing my job because I know that either this feeling will pass and I'll need the job....or my family will need the life insurance that comes with the job.
We joined the local YMCA and have started going swimming in their indoor pool 3+ days each week. That doesn't seem to help. That was fun the first few times but now that is even a "why bother going" event.
Christmas is coming and I could care less. To top it off my wife comes home EVERY day from her job and rags on about her completely STUPID boss. I've told her several times to just quit her job. She does nothing but complain about how little she makes per hour anyway....and the job was just a stop gap for when I was unemployed last year.

Anyway.....the whole point of making this thread was just unload that I'm in a weird place now. I mean really weird.
Weird like I want to get run over by a bus but that makes me sad because I know how much my kids would miss me...............

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time.

Do you think you might be affected by seasonal depression disorder? I don't know if you live somewhere where it gets dark early, I do and it really gets to me.

Hope things get better soon!

The season can affect people this way. Christmas can too it can be overwhelming and make some feel sad and blue.

How long have you felt this way???? I have felt this way from time to time but it doesn't usually last longer than a day or so.

I have felt this way for quite a while now. It's not the season and I don't think it's the holidays. I'm not sure how long it's been a problem. I've been working 60 to 70 hours a week for the past 3 months or so and it has been on a really high stress project. Not a lot of time to do anything but scramble and sleep. I'm sure part of it is going from a 90 day panicked adrenaline rush to scrambling each day to find enough to do.

Hey, sounds like a serious case of seretonin depletion to me. My doc calls it depression. I was where you are now, very recently. It was what got me in to see the doc in the first place. Apathy is a dangerous place to be, you know in your head that you should work, and play, and watch football, etc... but it no longer matters. Any of it. You know you love your wife but you can't feel it. See a doctor, see a therapist, get some help. Unless I'm mistaken, you are worn out from pushing for so hard for so long that you just can't anymore. There is help, and hope. I pray you find it soon.

Craig

Sounds to me like you are working too many hours, you don't have any time for yourself so you don't do anything of any personal value to keep you happy.
I start getting down when I have no 'me' time, you just go through the motions of existence, a meaningless one where you are nothing but a robot or animated meat.

Combine that with the season, when the light started to fade and the temps got down, it brought me down. I'm over that now, but as for you, what's making you feel better, NOTHING!

You need more 'you' time perhaps?

Believe me, I get like you sometimes, more times than I wish for, to do anything it feels like you got to force youself into action, whereas a 'normal' is powered by pure enthusiasm (for the mundane, as we see it).
But how do you create enthusiasm out of shear boredom?

I guess you've got to just wait until something interests you enough to get you moving again.
My life is a constant attempt to keep myself (my brain specifically) occupied, because if I don't, It's a downward spiral, gloomy thoughts, hopelessness, envying the dead, etc.

Like Niko M. said:
"Rise above it"

Sounds to me like you are working too many hours, you don't have any time for yourself so you don't do anything of any personal value to keep you happy.
I start getting down when I have no 'me' time, you just go through the motions of existence, a meaningless one where you are nothing but a robot or animated meat.

Combine that with the season, when the light started to fade and the temps got down, it brought me down. I'm over that now, but as for you, what's making you feel better, NOTHING!

You need more 'you' time perhaps?

Believe me, I get like you sometimes, more times than I wish for, to do anything it feels like you got to force youself into action, whereas a 'normal' is powered by pure enthusiasm (for the mundane, as we see it).
But how do you create enthusiasm out of shear boredom?

I guess you've got to just wait until something interests you enough to get you moving again.
My life is a constant attempt to keep myself (my brain specifically) occupied, because if I don't, It's a downward spiral, gloomy thoughts, hopelessness, envying the dead, etc.

Like Niko M. said:
"Rise above it"

Yep, this all pretty much sums it up. Of course, the thing I thought of the other day that I wanted to do to cheer me up was get to know this woman who was taking her kids to lunch when I was at McD's the other day.
But that wasn't interesting enough to me to even fantasize about....there used to be a time when that was a sure method to improve my mood. Just thinking about it being possible. Now, I wouldn't even care if she walked up to me and asked me to go somewhere with her.......

I don't know what I could do really that would give me the "me" time that I want or need. I thought I might have some time to do that over the next couple of weeks but things at work just picked back up so now I'll be too busy again. I guess I'll just keep pushing my robot lifeless zombie carcass around and doing what is expected of my until I can figure out what excites me.

Fighting,

Craig is right. Apathy and adhedonia (the inability to experience pleasure) are signs of depression.

You don't have to "feel down" to be depressed. A lot of what's going on might be physical -- do you feel fatigued? Hopeless? Feel like this is the way it's always going to be and there aren't any options that will change it?

My advice: see a doc.

So, where do I get some Seretonin and happy dust?

So, where do I get some Seretonin and happy dust?
Again, see a doc. Most of the antidepressants prescribed today are SSRI's -- Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors.

I agree with Barb. See a doctor.

Exercise.

And see a doctor

I don't suppose it would help if I told you I've felt that way for 50 years.

I have felt this way for quite a while now. It's not the season and I don't think it's the holidays. I'm not sure how long it's been a problem. I've been working 60 to 70 hours a week for the past 3 months or so and it has been on a really high stress project. Not a lot of time to do anything but scramble and sleep. I'm sure part of it is going from a 90 day panicked adrenaline rush to scrambling each day to find enough to do.Hallowell talks about that in one of his Distraction books (I forget which one). He said to be aware that at the ending of a big project depression was common for ADDers. Our minds suddenly don't have something to focus on and just go nuts.

If it continues, I hope you'll see a doctor. You might need something to help with the depression (either meds or cognitive therapy). If you can make yourself exercise (I'm a good one to talk about that these days), but if you can, it has a really good track record for helping depression and ADHD both.

Take care,
Scattered

Again, see a doc. Most of the antidepressants prescribed today are SSRI's -- Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors.
I wish that would help. But I've been prescribed nearly a dozen different anti-depressants in the past year or so and NONE of them have any effect on me.
I guess I need to find a good doctor instead of my lab-rats-R-us script writing doc. ;)

Oddly enough this summer I had to take pain killers and those were some of the most pleasant days I've had this year. Hmm...

I don't suppose it would help if I told you I've felt that way for 50 years.

I guess you have me beat by about 3 years.....so, it helps a little.



For all who have suggested exercise...I joined the local YMCA a couple of months ago and swim in the indoor pool 3+ times per week. It hasn't seemed to help...but I can honestly say that while I'm there I have NEVER thought about drowning myself. I guess that's something positive.

I think it is just the 'post project downer syndrome' that Scattered refers to.

I mean...my screen name is not just a screen name but a daily battle for me.

To me being idle is like having a million dollars in trust fund that you can't touch...and it's not even earning interest...it's just sitting there...waiting.

Funny thing, I took anti-depressants and they made me dull and sluggish. Less depressed, but I hated what they did to me.

But the ritalin and, recently, adderall seem to be depression AND boredom busters.

I would count myself as being 'normally' depressed -- meaning, minor ups and downs tied to current life events-- since I started on the stimulant meds. In contrast, I used to have long stretches of clinical depression.

I don't know if you've tried this class of antidepressants yet, FB, but for ADDers with depression, I think I'd actually try one of the older antidepressants (tricyclics).

While there are more annoying side effects with these (I took them 20 years ago) like more severe dry-mouth and weight gain, there are some advantages that would be particularly good for ADDers. First, they work on the "big three", not just serotonin -- also norepinepherine and dopamine. For a nonADDer, this is a con, but for the ADDer, it's probably a plus. In addition, they are effective for improved sleep.

If you were to go that route, however, you'd have to keep in mind that a tricyclic can interact with stimulant meds, enhancing effects, so stimulants might need to be cut back.

Just a thought. I'd HATE to live life feeling that there was nothing to get from it. I'm not delusional that I will somehow permanently change the world or leave a legacy, but I'm enjoying it while I'm here! It's hard work, but it's rewarding, too.

FightingBoredom- have you tried Wellbutrin in your roulette of prescriptions? It made me feel better than anything else I've had lately, but didn't do a thing for my motivation.

I wasn't fighting boredom, I was fighting my lack of motivation. Still am, Adderal seems to help, but I'm pretty certain my long undiagnosed depression ingrained some bad working and living habits within me that I need to work out of. I *know* there is a way. And I suspect it has to do with the effort I am willing (and able) to put into it.

I hope for the best for you. Be well,

Craig

I'm with the rest of these guys in hoping that you'll try talking to your doc again. I can tell you that my husband also went into this kind of spin as a result of enourmous job stress (7 days a week-8´12 hours a day over 4-5 months) added to his lucky position of being the husband of an ADDer and father to two ADDers! (Poor man!)

He finally went to the doc and was put on Zoloft which has done wonders. Interestingly, though, when I was diagnosed with exhaustion and depression about one year later my doc put me on Effexor...and it worked for me. I guess I'm trying to say each of us is different and the causes of our depressions, too, and it can take time to sort through all that. In addition, it can take up to 6-8 weeks of certain anti-depressants to have a full impact. How long did you try yours for? Did your doc try increasing the dosages when they didn't work?

Have hope. Others have been there (as you can see) and come out and you will too with time. Until then accept that your not feeling good and be nice to yourself as much as possible. Keep us posted!

Kim

He finally went to the doc and was put on Zoloft which has done wonders. Interestingly, though, when I was diagnosed with exhaustion and depression about one year later my doc put me on Effexor...and it worked for me.
Effexor also has a moderate effect on norepinephrine, so it's described as an SSRI with a *kick*! This is probably why your doctor tried it first; your primary problem was fatigue.

Interestingly, Effexor didn't give me that kick. Another demonstration that everyone is different. SOMETHING is boud to work for you, though, FB. There are SOOO many treatments to choose from nowadays.

Sorry things are so nuts right now that I didn't have time to read everyone's replies to see if what I'm about to type has already been covered. If it has just ignore me. lol

My husband and son both suffer from Seasonal depressive disorder.

We've started using UV lights during awake hours and my husband is on a low dosage anti-depressant that he weans off of after about the middle of January.

If you always feel this way during the holidays please contact your doctor immediatly.

Big hugs,
Cherity

FightingBoredom- have you tried Wellbutrin in your roulette of prescriptions? It made me feel better than anything else I've had lately, but didn't do a thing for my motivation.

I wasn't fighting boredom, I was fighting my lack of motivation. Still am, Adderal seems to help, but I'm pretty certain my long undiagnosed depression ingrained some bad working and living habits within me that I need to work out of. I *know* there is a way. And I suspect it has to do with the effort I am willing (and able) to put into it.

I hope for the best for you. Be well,

Craig
Craig, I've been on WB since May this year. After being on Ritalin and Zoloft (which did nothing for me it turns out) for years I started trying other meds to see what worked and what didn't. WB has worked for me quite well but it does nothing for mood, only focus and memory. Effexor was one of the anti-D's that did nothing for me at all. It's like I'm immune to anti-depressants. I think I tried more than 6 types.

Futs, I've had UV lights in my house for years. Maybe I need to get some new ones...do they wear out but still give off visible light?

I'm pretty sure now that half of my problem is post project downer syndrome (PPDS). (I have officially copyrighted that one as of now :D).
The other half of my problem is recovering from physical exhaustion. Another half of my problem is that I feel like a single Dad without the benefit of being able to pursue being hit on by single mom's....because I'm married.....and I don't get hit on there.

I know, I said 3 halves. But it's a multidimensional puzzle to me. (spoken like a true ADD'er.)

hey Barbyma! Can you tell me some commercial names of available tricyclics? It's worth a shot.....

hey Barbyma! Can you tell me some commercial names of available tricyclics? It's worth a shot.....
Sure. The ones I can think of are: Elavil (Amitriptyline), Adapin (Doxipin), Tofranil (Imipramine), and Anafranil (Clomipramine). I took Doxipin, and I know a lot of people that took Elavil. The tricyclics actually work better for severe depression.

Good luck!

Sure. The ones I can think of are: Elavil (Amitriptyline), Adapin (Doxipin), Tofranil (Imipramine), and Anafranil (Clomipramine). I took Doxipin, and I know a lot of people that took Elavil. The tricyclics actually work better for severe depression.

Good luck!

Thanks, I'll talk to my doc about this.

Thanks, I'll talk to my doc about this.

Speaking of Barbyma and doctors. I went through a "bla" period no too long ago. Although seeing your doctor is highly recommended maybe while you in route to his office you can drop by the store and pick up some omega-3 supplements.

I am not overly into herbal cure-alls after reading some stuff I decided to give this particular one the good ole college try. Omega-3 fatty acids are necessary for the production of certain brain chemicals and those who don't eat a high fish diet are usually deficient in this particular nutrient.

Because I have intolerances to many foods I have been taking supplements to compensate for years. I have been taking a vit B complex with C (ascorbic acid I can't do citrus fruits or drinks). My B vitamins have 100% of the daily recommended mg's per pill. All the vitamins are water soluble and I take 1-1/2 a day, along with ginseng. Sense I have a milk intolerance I also take 1200 mg of calcium.

I take some thing called Omega-3 complex. The ones I take have Fish oil 800mg, and Flaxseed oil 150mg.

I began this "research project" of my own about six weeks ago. After reading some initial stuff and talking with my ADD doc who said

"I do not know if Omega-3 supplements will help the ADD but it sure won't make it any worse (he tends to be honest this way :p ). Omega-3 is good for your body. What ever helps the body stay healthy helps the brain work better as the two are interconnected."

I began with one dose a day and a commitment of 30 days. At first I didn't notice a difference probably because I was "looking". Any way after day 25 and I was on the last "row" of these pills It became time for the decision of weather or not I would continue this supplement.

Looking back I noticed that although I had experienced some bouts of depression the depression didn't seem as "deep". The depression episodes didn't "suck me under" like they had at one time. I seem to be able to recover from these episodes quicker. So I have begun month two with an increase to two pills a day.

Here are some hyperlinks from this site that discuss this subject in more detail.

I also copied some bits from the post them selves.

Begin-------------------

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3249

Improve depression and symptoms of other mental health problems. The brain is remarkably fatty: In fact, this organ is 60% fat and needs omega-3s to function properly. Now researchers have discovered a link between mood disorders and the presence of low concentrations of omega-3 fatty acids in the body.
Apparently, omega-3s help regulate mental health problems because they enhance the ability of brain-cell receptors to comprehend mood-related signals from other neurons in the brain. In other words, the omega-3s are believed to help keep the brain's entire traffic pattern of thoughts, reactions, and reflexes running smoothly and efficiently


chttp://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14935&page=2&pp=15&highlight=omega-3 (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14935&page=2&pp=15&highlight=omega-3)

The track record of stimulant medications in treating ADHD is stellar.

Only Omega 3's have been shown to have some promise in helping ADHD.

-------------------End---------------------

I have continued my research and have received some more convincing research from members here that points to this particular supplement being helpful to depression.

I do want to add this though. No supplement, no light therapy, no medication will allow you to escape the consequences of driving your self too hard and failing to take proper care of your physical and mental well being. Nothing can replace a proper balance of sleep, exercise, good diet, and yes "down time"/ relaxation!!!! I do not feel the need to work myself to death after all what ever I gain in this life will be left behind when I leave this world!!!

My grandpa used to say "you can't take it with you".

Two things can never be replaced #1) time #2) the people whom you share it!!!

I have done the fish oil route before but I don't think I stuck with it for more than a couple of weeks. I think I still have a big bottle of it in the fridge.
I can give that a try...it can't hurt.
Thanks.