View Full Version : what do you think

12-14-05, 02:22 PM
im 19. in grades 1-5 i was a very smart kid. i always got straight a's and pretty much stayed out of trouble. i had friends and from what i remember i was not shy or lacked self esteem. i do although remember one particular time where I had trouble learning the multiplication slower than the rest of the students and had to be pulled in the back of the class to learn it.

my 3.5 year older sister was diagnosed with ADD and treated with ritalin. she eventually stopped taking it, and was able to manager her symptoms some how and graduated high school as well as college this year.

me on the other hand started having alot of problems with self esteem and grades as soon as i entered sixth grade. one of my main problems was and is procrastination. i put my homework off ALL the time, and was on the computer instead, which intersting seemed to be able to hold my concentration for days and days with no bordom.

it wasnt until my jr year of high school where i began to think maybe I have add. the randomness, the lack of motivation for school, the contant procrastintation, the lack of confidence and self esteem. so i went to the doctor and he gave me strattera. it was crap and made me feel so much worse. i gave up on school, my grades didnt really slip, but they stayed the same d's and f's. i was also always getin kicked out of my classes for yelling stupid comments, or clowing around.

i missed graduation by 1.5 credits and for the summer i worked my job and basically sat around doing nothing. my room was and is always a mess (i was a clean freak as a child 1-5 grade) my motivation dropped to an all time low. i attempted to go back to school for my missed credits after the summer had passed but only made it about 2.5 months into it before i gave up again.

i continued to work, and around july of this year i sgined up for an online type highschool where they send me the required work in the mail. which i've yet to even start months later.

i find it IMPOSSIBLE to wake up in the morning when i do not have to be at work. and even when i finally wake up i feel SO sluggish. i always feel like my mind has a HUGE cloud over it and that i do not have any energy or motivation to do anything at all.

i used to be able to do so much stuff and had alot more enrgy than I do now even during highschool.

i am having such a hard time finsihin this post becuse i find it so hard to organize my thoughts and put them into words without loosing focus.

it drives me insaine!

i was put on 15mg adderall XR a few weeks ago, and i quickly realized 15mg was not enough, so i started taking 2 in the morning. it worked great i was working hard at work, i was keeping myself more focused, but towards the end of my script i noticed i still had minimal energy after work 8-4, most likely cause by this point i was crashing.

i now am on my second day of concerta, and find it to be absoulte crap so far compared the the adderall. i currently took 2 18 mg pills about 1.5 hours ago. and i still feel the cloud.

i feel like my add gets worse and worse everyday :(

12-14-05, 02:23 PM
i am a very smart person and feel that there is NOTHING i cannot do if i put my mind to it. i just find it IMPOSSIBLE to be able to put my mind to it without getting bored, having no motivation, or feeling uncontroably lazy.

is this add!?

i do not ebelieve it is depression, because i dont exactly hate myself, and i usually am in a pretty good mood.

12-14-05, 08:01 PM
If a doctor has given you Strattera, Adderall, and Concerta, he/she probably has a good reason to believe you have AD/HD.

It could be that in your case you need more than just medication, although it also sounds like you haven't gotten the meds part figured out yet. Make sure you talk to your doctor about what's going on IN DETAIL.

12-15-05, 12:50 AM
The only thing that bugs me is, you keep talkinga bout grades 1-5 as though they were your golden years, and then this problem suddenly developed...

I mean, academically, I was about the same way. Grades 1-5 I had almost constant straight A's. But having talked with my grandmother I can tell you most certainly I had my fair share of problems in child hood, my grades were good in school because I was/am very intelligent and my mother helped me with my work.

I was by no stretch of the imagination a clean freak, nor is any kid I've ever seen in grades 1-5. I was hyperactive, overly talkative ( I refused to let my sister talk when I was younger), into everything, etc. My mother just ignores these symptoms in favor of the times I was taking care of her when she was sick when I was about 4 or 5. I've been told that ADD doesn't just materialize, so if you were a "perfect specimen" in grades 1-5 and then the problems developed... that doesn't sound like something ADHD typical. That in itself might be a reason you should have the other alternatives ruled out.

I know this will sound hypocritical, but you should consider seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist (can't remember which.. I think it's the former) to be tested. I did not do this, simply because I cannot afford to be diagnosed by a psychologist. I live in an economically challenged area, and all my medical expenses are covered by the state. The state won't cover the psychologist so I am unable to afford the tests.

If you're in a situation to have that testing done, I highly recommend you do so. As you've probably noticed, Riding the medication roller coaster through just one med can be frustrating. A psychologist would probably be better able to assess your situation and get you the appropriate help.

Best of luck.

12-17-05, 11:31 PM

Gosh, your post really resonated with me because my experience is very, VERY similar! And the symptoms of extreme sluggishness, no energy at all, and no motivation. . . that's ME!!

I hope you will continue to post - and/or I'd love it if you'd pm me. I know that I'm miserable AND I'd like some company with that! lol


12-23-05, 06:29 AM
With the misery or the ADD????