I was wondering if people let other people know they have add?
At work someone mentioned ADD and said well "name here" may have add and we know "someone else" has it. The ansure someone said was "great just what we need 2 people with it". Noe neither people they are talking about have ADD, at least have not told anyone, yet i sit in the background recently diognosed with it thinking " then i guess we have 3 of them". Anyhow I feel I should let people know and let the stigma that I see of ADD vanish.

I dont think I could keep it a secret if I wanted too...

I got just a little bit too much "H" going on. takes most people all of five minutes to figure it out...

If I knew them well enough I'd come right out and say " then I guess we have 3 of them" . They may talk about me behind my back but at least I'd not have to hear them(hopfully) talk about others with ADD in my presents again. This has kinda in a different way happened to me.

If I didn't really know the people talking I'd just stay quiet about myself and defend the others that were being talked about

I, too, can't keep it a secret. When I talk about it to some people, they are shocked at who I've told -- potential employers, etc. I work in "the biz", though, so people tend to be a little more understanding and there a lot more people that have disorders of some kind. Not only are us loonies drawn to psychology, but us psychologists are just more likely to recognize a problem like this.

Heck, I tell my students. Might as well tatoo it to my forehead!

Barb, It think a tattoo on the butt (aka keister) saying you have ADD would be more appropriate. :D

My personal opinion is that it is a BAD idea to let people know, especially at work. Most people in the wrokforce use the "get ahead by stepping on others" approach. So, giving someone ammunition to make them look better than you based on the common fear, uncertainty, doubt and ignorance of everyone else about ANY disorder, not just ADD, is a BAD idea.

People can only be trusted when being trustowrthy suits them. It's human nature to "take care of number 1" and if push comes to shove even your most trustworthy friend, relative, or mate will turn you into the scapegoat to save their own hide. So, DO NOT give them ammunition to do so.

It's interesting that you said that about ammunition. I have just found out that I have adult add and have not yet told my husband. And I don't think I want to right now - just a little too much dealing-with-new-reactions uncertainty before the holidays which are very stressful for me. I have only told one friend who is bi-polar.

Does anyone else have a spouse who doens't know they're add?

Barb, It think a tattoo on the butt (aka keister) saying you have ADD would be more appropriate. :D

My personal opinion is that it is a BAD idea to let people know, especially at work. Most people in the wrokforce use the "get ahead by stepping on others" approach. So, giving someone ammunition to make them look better than you based on the common fear, uncertainty, doubt and ignorance of everyone else about ANY disorder, not just ADD, is a BAD idea.

People can only be trusted when being trustowrthy suits them. It's human nature to "take care of number 1" and if push comes to shove even your most trustworthy friend, relative, or mate will turn you into the scapegoat to save their own hide. So, DO NOT give them ammunition to do so.

Agreed. 10,000,000%. But I think it really depends on your environment. If you're in an environment where half of the people are ADD anyway, I don't think it'd matter too much. In my current environment, though, many of the people are quite xenophobic and are willing to point out any differences in anyone, just to boost their own ego's. And it doesn't even have to be a disorder. The "lacking of common sense" rationale (i.e. not using the most obvious and repetitive solution) is quite common here. Another good one is concerning what college a person graduates from, but I won't go into that any further.

I don't think it's a good idea to tell anyone that you've known for a long time if you've just been diagnosed, unless such a person is trustworthy and understanding. Often times, people build up very rigid views about other people, not always paying attention to the issues, and will debunk you being disordered for overly simplistic and or ignorant reasons. One being that if you weren't diagnosed as a child, how could you have gone undetected... Or you're too smart, just lazy, or just making excuses. I would imagine that new people would be more accepting (well, it'd be a good filter for those who truely want to be your friend, anyway...)

Okay, I'm not saying everyone should go around telling everyone; it's a personal choice. But....

Planner -- I'm just baffled, so please don't take this the wrong way. HOW can you keep something like that from your spouse??? That's one part of the team that needs to be in the light, not the dark. For their own sake as much as for yours. Unless, of course, you don't view your marriage as teamwork. Is it something you're ashamed of or is it just that you don't think he'll understand?

HF -- How can something be debunked if it isn't bunk to begin with? As long as you know how to answer those comments, you've got the opportunity to educate people.

Barb, It think a tattoo on the butt (aka keister) saying you have ADD would be more appropriate

I absolutely love this idea!!!! :p



But I think it really depends on your environment. If you're in an environment where half of the people are ADD anyway, I don't think it'd matter too much


Yea this may be a valid point going on here. Those of us in the medical profession do have an advantage. Those in psych. may have even more of an advantage because the people who work these professions are more likely to be educated about these things.

In many ways the medical profession is more accepting than others. I suspect that Highfunctioning may have a point that if one works in an ADDer populated environment then one more ADDer isn't a problem. Many areas of medicine attract ADDers especially ones like me who seek high stimulation with structure!!! Places like ER. critical care, and even family practice are like ADD magnets!!!!!

For myself I do not advertise nor do I attempt to hide my ADD. I read things like "Delivered from Distraction" during my breaks. Because I am on regular release Adderall that I have to take it every 5 hours. I usually have to take one of my pills while working and I do so without broadcasting or hiding. Trying to hide the fact I am taking a pill is more likely to draw attention than simply removing my bottle from my purse taking a pill and then a drink. This draws little attention even when done at the nurses station during change of shifts!!!!!

I've been struggling with this myself. I haven't told anyone. But, the conclusion that I've come to is that telling people whether you have it may not do much to educate them. Instead, when it comes up, jumping in casually and explaining the etiology and effects of having ADD/ADHD to "normal" people has had an effect. The problem is the lack of knowledge with the general public.

Being recently diagnosed, I've been struggling with what aspects of my life are attributable to ADD/ADHD and whether medication is helping. Naturally, I have many conversations about this with my partner. Despite being very intelligent and educated as a scientist, in addition to observing my ADD-related actions on a day-to-day basis, even my partner has trouble comprehending what ADD/ADHD really is and freely admits this. It can be trying, but I think education is key to changing preconceived notions.

I am very open with friends and family - that's about it. I treat it like any other medical condition - just so happens that I have family with the same thing so we have a lot to talk about - meds, etc.

Since my mom, 2 brothers, sister, and sister in law have it my family knows and are supportive. But as far as friends and coworkers no.

As I just got diagnosed, I'm still learning so much and wasn't quite sure how my husband would react. So I din't tell him for the first two weeks but did today. He was wonderfully supportive in listening but at a complete loss about what to do if anything at all. He has always thought I was incredibly competent, a great mutlitasker, doer, etc - but I knew that my energy and accomplishments come in spurts (and I haven't been able to accomplish anything for the past three weeks). I'm glad to be able to talk to my husband about it . . . a little afraid it will come back to haunt me in arguements - which we don't have often but when we do they're doozies. (Generally about him not doing enough . . . can you stand the irony?)

There are SO many people I would like to apologize/explain to -- but in my world of cut throat business where people are sharks, I can't afford to tell anyone else except the very closes of friends - certainly no business associates. Why do I feel that it would be easier to tell people about a physiological disorder than about a psychological/neurological disorder. It just feels like such a stigma . . .

I'm determined to make the best of this and am re-evaluating where I should be spending my time career-wise (I'll end up blowing myself in the career I currently have) and hope to make a serious change early next year . . . but I think I'll always feel a little down about having this.

Why do I feel that it would be easier to tell people about a physiological disorder than about a psychological/neurological disorder. It just feels like such a stigma . . .


Probably because the stigma is very real. Unfortunately, not everyone even tries to understand it.

Maybe it would help to think of it as a physiological disorder. People are too quick to classify things based only on behavior. Just because behavior is the primary symptom, doesn't mean the problem isn't physical.... JMHO.

Probably because the stigma is very real. Unfortunately, not everyone even tries to understand it.

Maybe it would help to think of it as a physiological disorder. People are too quick to classify things based only on behavior. Just because behavior is the primary symptom, doesn't mean the problem isn't physical.... JMHO.


I agree with this. In fact, when I explain/describe ADD/ADHD to people, I start by explaining the firing deficiency between neurons before talking about it effects on behavior.

Hmmmm, I've been thinking about add in the workforce as well--I don't really care if my friends know--I generally choose people who I think are accepting of others, anyway. But at work, I just have no clue--so far, my work at my new job has been fine, but people have started noticing I tend to trip a lot (don't really pay attention to where I'm going) that I startle easily... just wierd stuff like that. So maybe they think I'm just a little quirky?? Don't think I should reveal add just yet :-)

I think that each person generally knows what is right for them at any given situation at most given times. All that is needed is a bit of reflection and a dose of self confidence.

In other wards for "Jane" an ER nurse it may be good to tell her co-workers or supervisor because she feels safe to do so. Jane knows her co-workers and feels they may not only be accepting but even helpful. ER is often heavily populated with individuals who exhibit many ADHD type traits them selves. Because "Jane" works in her environment she will know the environment best.

Say "Bob" is also an ER nurse with ADHD and many of his co-workers also have a tendency to display many ADD traits, however "Bob's" environment may not be as accepting. Although he also is an ER nurse his environment may be one where the people are “cut throat” and idle gossips. He knows any information about his ADD will at best be an item of gossip at worst twisted about to be used as a weapon. Bob would be the best judge of that as he is the one who works in this environment day in and day out.

Okay I stated the obvious what may also be considered when making the decision of weather or not to tell others about ADD and who those others may be the individuals level of self comfort, confidence and preference.

People who are newly diagnosed may be less comfortable telling others about some thing they are still trying to accept and understand. They may wish to began revealing their "condition" to those they feel close to but with holding it from employers and acquaintances. This is "normal", expected and more than likely prudent.

Those of us who have been diagnosed with ADHD for a long time may feel more comfortable telling people like employers. I have been diagnosed and educating my self not only about the condition itself but learning about my individual ADHD traits for over ten years. During my years of experience I have had the chance to educated doctors about ADD in adults. I had to learn about adult ADD before I was able to explain it to others. It would make sense that I my feel more comfortable because I have had a lot more time to learn and educate than one who has recently begun this journey.

Again even the most seasoned ADDer may choose to with hold their ADHD in a hostile environment. I feel perfectly comfortable with the fact that my ADHD is my business. I do NOT ask for accommodations from my employer because in learning about how ADHD fits me as a person I have learned how to accommodate my own ADD. If I do not need my employer and ADHD does not affect my ability to perform my job duties then my ADD isn't my employers business any more than the fact I wear contact lenses to correct my vision.

Unless you need some accommodations or assistance due to your ADD then tell only those who you feel comfortably doing so. It is your ADD, you have to live with it, you are responsible for how you deal with it, therefore, you get to decide who needs to know and who does not. Follow what you know to be right for you as a person. What is right for me may not be for you!!!

One thing that may be less known...for me my feelings about my ADHD have changed over time. Yea I have my "good ADHD" days and my "bad ADD" days but for the most part I have accepted my ADHD just like I have accepted being a female who wears contact lenses.

Hope this helps!

I was diagnosed recently, started medication last week and no, I don't feel like telling anyone.

There are a few people that know, because I told them throughout this year about my symptoms, and about another previous diagnose I chose to ignore, about how I was going to the psychiatrist etc etc. They are very close to me but if they choose one day to use that information against me I know it will have been my fault. (I don't think they will though)

But now, even to really close friends... why? what's the point? I don't even understand ADD completely myself yet! AND I don't see this as Dr hallowell for example as a "sparkling kind of mind" but a disabled brain with something in it that doesn't work, so again, no.

I have noticed since medication that when I'm around people noone notices anything new about me but I do! very much! I have this ocean inside of me of calmness that wasn't there before, an incredibly huge, new space to manuever and I can finally let go of all the methods I had developed to cope for 33 years. I want to enjoy this for a while. I owe it to myself.

Also, here ADD/TDA is mostly associated with kids running around screaming, not adults, apart from maybe drug users or housewives hooked on no-doze like the movie what have I done to deserve this? so again, no. Especially on any kind of workplace.

With the exception of my husband and kids, I get the feeling everyone else I've told (just a few friends and family members), see it as another "venture" I'm out on and figure I'll get bored with this as well, and move on to something else. I also get the feeling they enjoyed joking about where I was "working now", or what I was "going to school" for now, (think it made them feel better about themselves). My father won't even discuss it, get the feeling he sees it as a disorder, and that might mean there is something wrong with him!

For the last few years I have really begun to notice that people really don't want to hear about you, they want you to listen about them. I've spent too many years dealing with worrying about "other people's" opinion of me....I'm too old and have too much time to make up for to give them anymore of me.

Instead of trying to explain our "gift", I say.....let's just get on with it!! Those who really love us will always be there!!

Just diagnosed this year (age 36). The only person who knows (at least the only person I've told) is my mother, with whom I talked about my concerns and told I was going in for an evaluation.

Haven't told any other family members, including my sisters, and we're pretty close. Definitely haven't told anyone at work.

Partly because I'm still dealing with what it means for me and how to develop coping mechanisms, and my family has a tendency to want to talk things to death and ask all kinds of questions that I'm not ready to answer yet.

And, admittedly, I'm a perfectionist who has always set high standards for myself and has a hard time admitting to having weaknesses, flaws, or problems (I'm the oldest of four and was always expected to "set an example"). I also just don't know what some people's reactions would be - I have friends and family who I suspect would dismiss it as the latest fad diagnosis, and others who would want to say "So that's why you've always ..." (fill in the blank with various ADD and non-ADD behaviors) and trivialize something that is intensely personal to me.

I've been on Adderall for about 4 months, and while it is helping, I still have many learned behaviors to overcome, so I'm focusing on what I need to do for me, rather than spending time talking about it with people who just might not understand.

Although it is hard to explain why I've lost 20 pounds without any seeming effort and my sisters (who both had babies this year) keep asking me what I'm doing!

FYI here's a thread from around October where people discussed telling others about their ADD.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22659

I too have a concern that if we don't speak up misconceptions will continue, and I think it could be a good idea to let some people (a spouse, supervisor, etc.) know so they have a better understanding of what's going on.

Me? Some I have told and some I haven't.

I'm a pretty open person so it hasn't been easy to hold back/censor myself from talking about this - also if I'd heard someone talking about it I might have figured out what was going on with me sooner. So while I haven't blabbed it to the entire world at this point, I haven't kept it a secret either. I process things by talking about them, so some friends I've been talking to as I tried to figure out my diagnosis, so they've been with me on the journey.

I wrestled with telling professors because I didn't want it to be an excuse, and wondered about misconceptions. I told my Advisor when I decided to look into a diagnosis. It's been gradual, but most of my profs now know - one of the last I told said they wished I'd let them know sooner.

Still deciding whether to tell people who have considerable power over my future career about this. Part of me wants to wait until I have my degree and my first placement to speak up. I think I will speak up eventually, and will be pretty open about it with people I work with. I'm not in a corporate dog-eat-dog world. Like barbya I'm in a helping career so I hope colleagues and coworkers will be understanding and supportive.

I don't plan to make a huge deal out of it. I see it as being kind of matter of fact, part of who I am and how I work.

I for one don't plan on telling too many people. I think there is a certain amount of stigma attached with ADD. I told my family I was going to be tested for ADD and they couldn't understand why. I actually had to defend myself and my reasonings. Then when I had to go back and tell them ADD was confirmed they started questioning the testing methods and the doctor's diagnosis. If I have to defend myself with my family I hate to imagine what it would be like telling other people.

Partly because I'm still dealing with what it means for me and how to develop coping mechanisms, and my family has a tendency to want to talk things to death and ask all kinds of questions that I'm not ready to answer yet.

Good point it is hard to explain some thing you yourself do not understand!!!!!

Talking things to death and asking a zillion questions are also ADD traits!!!

Save the above line for latter should the need arise!!!! ;)