After many years of total frustration with schools and Nicholas litteraly showing no interest whatsoever to improve, us having to print out, read, write and basically do all his homework and school work WITH him to make sure he does it, to go in his bag, look for papers to sign because he forgets no matter what, calling teachers, getting called by teachers, suspension after suspension, complaints after complaints, we have decided to homeschool.

We have been thinking about doing so for at least a year... but I have been feeling so drained and the thought of homeschooling was just so overwhelming... as if it was going to be ON TOP of everything else. Than this past week.. i have realised that one of the major issue that is so draining... is his schooling.

I have thought about getting a part time job (i am a stay at home mom to 3 younger children (isnt that baby cute?? hehe) just to pay Nicholas tuition to a specialised school.. but than i thought... i might as well work "part time" homeschooling him?!!

This will take him away from the worse bad influences in his life right now... His "friends" (and he only hangs out with the naughtiess too)

Wish us luck......

I feel somewhat releived... but we will see what the next few weeks will bring.
Sadly enough... his "old" school is overjoyed he is leaving... :mad:

I wish you luck... You've really taken micro-managing his life to an extreme with this. Hopefully he will listen to you better than the teachers.

That is the thing... he is good at home about listening... we just have to tell him again anad again and again. His behavior is most destructive at school. but it will not make things worse at home. Just more work for me hehe

That is the thing... he is good at home about listening... we just have to tell him again anad again and again. His behavior is most destructive at school. but it will not make things worse at home. Just more work for me hehe
I'm still of the opinion that his meds aren't working completely, or at all, for him. You should consider talking to whoever prescribed the meds for an increase in dosage or a change of medicine...

THank you!! we actaully just did that last week... we increased his dose. We more and more think that he might have another disorder too.

2 months ago... he would agonise over us mentionning homeschooling.. now.. he is totally relieved. He knows more than ever that he needs help.. which is hopeful! (but we dont know if this will last)

We did notice many times that he seems to be a totally different person when he is with "friends". So much that my mother says he has "2 personnalities" (but i know she is wrong) Everybody love him. He is what people call "a great guy!" but this trait of him appearing to just "not care" about anything or anyone... do you think it woudl actually be the opposite.. and because he would actually "care" so much and feel like he cannot change, that is why he appears as if he totally doesnt care at all? (do i make sense?)

Hi HappyM.,

We've been homeschooling our daughter for three years now. Last year (lst grade) was a disaster, because my ADHD hadn't been diagnosed and I didn't follow through. But this year, has been very different. Her reading is really taking off and she loves it, her writing is improving, math is still weak but improving slowly. Most importantly she's not getting hassled by other kids because her work isn't as neat as theirs or she doesn't know/remember all the rules to the games, etc. We're planning, if possible, in the next couple years to try regular school, if we can stabilize her academic work, but both my husband and I feel very strongly that if school doesn't work for her, homeschool can. It has allowed her interest in science and nature to flourish and at eight she now knows more about animals, their habitats, etc than I do. She's still a happy camper most of the time -- my husband is against her taking meds and she has emotional swings and temper tantrums (especially if we've let her watch too much in the video department --we don't let her watch TV -- or if she's spent too much time on the computer. However, since she is home we can mitigate most of it and get her back on track -- at school it would be a disaster. Things have improved and we're encouraged. Hope you're homeschooling works at well for you!

Scattered

Thank you!!
I have homeschooled another of my children before... but turned out he wanted to go to school SO bad... that i couldnt ignore his need for "socialisation" haha So i know i can do it... and we will reformat our family computer especially for NIck to do his school work only. There is this XP version out there called "teacher-student" We are very hopeful!!! I will, however, continue to give him his meds, because without them, he really cannot pay attention to anything at all. You say your husband is againts giving your daughter meds... I was there before... I was the one that got so frustrated and told myself "i love my son for who he is and i am cutting out the meds!!" he was without for 4 months and by the end he was BEGGING for them back... I saw how much it helped him personally!

Well... I wrote this massive post.. and then the power went out and I lost it...

Long story short:

I was like your son, apathetic to my family and responsibilities. I felt strongly about my friends because I felt the accepted me despite my flaws, whereas my family replaced me with my sister for my flaws.

What brought me out of it was that I developed a sense of morals and responsibility, thanks mostly to the internet. When I was his age I developed a bad habit of argueing with people much older than myself about current political topics that I felt were worthy to bother talking about... Since then I've developed a STRONG moral standing, and I will do w/e if my morals are breached.

Case in point: I am ok about people harrassing me, if it gets to be too annoying, or detrimental to something I am trying to do, I will simply go through the proper channels and have it taken care of via "the process". If someone harrasses my girlfriend, be it flirting or insulting, they will quickly find themselves in the ICU.

The point: Through debate on internet forums I had set values and morals in myself, I decided what was important to me. That broke my sense of apathy with myself, like I was a failure. Once I had my own standards, I found myself trying to hang with a different group of people, who were actually a lot like me in the respect that they're kind of eccentric. I made every possible attempt to not be stereotyped by the school.
For instance, I LOVE black clothing, and because I wore it ALL the time to school I became stereotyped as 'goth' and known as "You know... That kid who wears black and the shirts with funny insults"(when someone was trying to explain who I was).

He sounds a lot like me, and to be honest, I think he should be allowed to gain access to the internet. I would not have come out of that had it not been for being able to debate views and opinions, and generally interact with people who are MUCH older than myself on the same level that I would with a friend in school. I learned a lot of Social cues this way too. The problem with the internet is that he *will* access things you don't want him too.

He's a teenager, he's curious. I'm sexually active with Jenny, and she's my only one. I don't look at things like that anymore simply because I have her. But a lot of guys be it 13 years old or 20 are going to look at that kind of thing once in a while. My parents didn't encourage me to look at it, nor did they punish me. My mother offered to buy me a playboy magazine if I promised not to look at those things on the computer, because it was getting spyware (It's still getting spyware, even though I don't use that computer anymore at all) on a regular basis, which I had to remove.

It's a two-sided coin, your decision about what he's allowed to do. I earned the internet back and then instantly started onto websites, chatrooms, and forums where I could flex my brain muscle under the guise of it being an arguement. But I also did things I was not supposed to do on the computer. PS: Don't bother with a filter, if your kid is like me, he knows how to turn it off, with or without the password.

But I'm not going to guarantee this as a solution... I think part of it comes with age (I'm 17)

You read my mind!!! :) Today i spent the whole day at the mall with Nick. I asked him how he felt about our decision to homeschool him. (he was sad friday and didnt like the idea too much, even tho we have told him often before that it was coming to this) today, he said "i am happy actually" i said "really, why" and he said "wel i thought a lot about that yesterday and i realised if i dont have all the distraction and so all my work better, i will have a better future" This was the most mature answer I have heard from him in a long time!!!
My husband is a computer genius.. .haha (like father like son) and has told Nick he will teach him all he wants to know and if he passes 8th grade, he will have him build up his own computer with whatever features he wants. Nick is so excited haha We have decided that the computer will be his main tool for schooling (since he will be homeschooled) I want him to join a forum (like this one would be great, but if you know of any great forums for young guys please let me know) I will, however, get rid of his AOL messaging, because believe me it was controling his life and him as a person. He has NO self control at all when he is chatting and will say, plan, and do aweful things. I told him tomorow he will help me re-format, set up the computer for his schooling, and we wil get rid of all the chats... he said "Okay" and i was amazed he agreed with that so easy. He told my husband that he knows he needs help and he is ready to make changes to do better.

I realise that he needs his friends and i would feel lost myself without my Messaging program.. so I am nto sure yet how i will meet his need to have his friends. Even tho all his friends right now are horrible influences. He really needs better friends... I told him about this forum and he was interested.

He has been amazingly good all week end... we had a awesome time him and I at the mall (without the 3 smal kids and dad heheee) I told him he was allowed to go on the computer and play "Halo"... He is one happy kid right now. Maybe "this time" he will understand the concept or rewards... he never cared before. haha i mean rewards never encourged him to act better. maybe doing it the other way around will work better (instead of telling him "if you do good, you can play your game (that game means he'll be on for at least 4 hours) well if i just say "you were so good today, go ahead and play your game) maybe it will click better.

I actually cannot wait for him to have a girlfriend... i just pray that she will be a good influence on him.. the opposite would be a disaster!!

Best of luck with the homeschooling. Your son is lucky to have such caring parents!

Based on what they were teaching my son, we have decided to do the same. A dear friend loaned us this book, "How to Get Your Child off the Refrigerator and on to Learning" by Carol Barnier. I'm only into chapter two, but so far it is so on-target that I really must get my own copy.

Most homeschoolers do so out of religious preference, so don't be surprised if you find a Christian bent to much of the material - not all, just a good portion.

It's also highly recommended to just get off schooling entirely for awhile. Some sites say to take as much as one month off for each year the child spent in public school. With our son's ASD, we can't afford that sort of break in routine, so we plan to start slowly and do more thinking outside the box to keep him active and mentally challenged.

Spend time with your child - learn how s/he learns and then build from there. Make some phone calls, even to local church groups, to find homeschooling support groups - there are a lot of them out there even if you don't align with their religious beliefs, it's a start for you.

Don't invest a lot in curriculum initially is what my friend said - just go to the local school supply store and get core curriculums until you've had time to develop your style. We have a meeting tomorrow with the Independent Living advocate in our state (I think this is national - web search for Center for Independent Living and see if there is anything in your area) and hope to get the actual legal stuff on how to do this without them coming back at us.

We decided to homeschool our son, too, for much the same reasons and then some that have been listed in this thread.

I am curious what it is your Independent Living agency might do to help with the home education, so please, post or PM me. We've a branch here but they haven't been much help in anything. :(