That's how I feel. That old dog is creeping in, I think. I wake up each morning with a feeling of dread, impending doom....like someone I love has died. Only there is nothing wrong...nothing really to complain about. It's really strange....it's just a feeling of weariness, sadness.

I had learned to meditate, clear my mind of the hyper thoughts, and I thought it would work for this, but so far it hasn't. I mean, the thoughts aren't zooming around, but that heaviness is still there.

As to the title....it's how it feels around people or just my life in general.....it's actuall closer than it appears, but it feels like I'm looking into the wrong end of a pair of binoculars....an observer.

This too shall pass, I'm sure.

With all I do to try and help myself, it's remarkable how hard I have to work to get beyond that heavyness. I only see a whole and deep relief from it when I've attended to those things that are most important and consequently the most difficult for me to attend to. :( It's so difficult to get free, but no impossible.
Strength to you.
Ian

Thanks Ian. I'm beginning to think that the key for me is to try compartmentalize that feeling whenever possible. A mind game that may work from time to time. I like that idea of attending to something important.

I know this well, I know the tricks that are supposed to work.

Sometimes it's nice to be/feel understood.

Don't worry, you're understood.

I get that sometimes, even with antidepressants. I'll just be standing there in the grocery store, and suddenly it's like a whole bucket of grief and sadness has been dumped on me. I don't know why that happens, but it does.

I get hopeless sometimes and feel like nothing will help and get angry because I don't want to be me anymore. Antidepressants don't work yet I take them because I'm a drug addict and I feel like I need to constantly change the way I feel. I wish I could find some true happyness, not some vicoden happyness but truely feeling full of self-esteem and confident. I wish I could laugh again :(

Whoa! What's with being addicted to antidepressants? Are you taking something that gives you an immediate change in the way you feel?

Vicoden is a pain-killer, not an antidepressant....but I'll bet you know that.

Have you tried many antidepressants? And what's your experience?

I used to 'self-medicate' my depression with alcohol....but probably would've tried other stuff if it had been readily available. I'm now in recovery and realizing how hard and how long I'd been trying to avoid feeling what I was feeling.

Are you seeing a shrink?

Antidepressants don't work yet I take them because I'm a drug addict and I feel like I need to constantly change the way I feel.
First, antidepressants don't immediately change emotions unless you are experiencing strong side effects.

If you take antidepressants, over time they should restore normal emotions.

If you are depressed (and it sure sounds to me like you are) and your doctor has prescribed antidepressants, they need to be taken as directed, continuously, for at least 6 weeks before you can fully evaluate if they are working. Some may take that long to work, but all modern antidepressants take a minimum of a week or two.

totally not alone man:P
used to have that every morning.
but 4 the time being....
have you tried prozac?it worked wonders for me.
xxx
hope u get through this
amanda