undefinedMy son is 17 yo, a junior in high school. He was diagnosed in 8th grade with ADD. We then had him put on Strattera, just hated it. Took him off. Again in 9th grade, same thing. Ugggg. Last year in 10th, we tried the natural approach, was ok, but not that great. Now this year, haven't done anything but try to help him through. It is so tough, and alot of arguements, he hangs out with his friends alot, not always a good influence, but so far he hasn't caused any horrible problems. Don't always know if he is being completely honest with us. He struggles in a couple classes, and also has issues with getting everything turned in. When I ask him if it is done, turned in, he tells me yes, then I e-mail the teacher/teachers if needed and find out the opposite. Does he truely think he turned them in? Well, we are almost just about to say, you are on your own. You will either fail, or get your butt in gear. I did talk to dh today and told him we need to do something. Try another med, etc... What I would like to know is, what is the best kind of doctor to go to for ADD? The doctor I have does not want to put him on Adderal/concerta. She says they can become addictive, where as she swears by Strattera. I also told my son he may need to talk to someone if put on meds, and he is addamant on No WAY will he do that. He won't have the choice, but just thought I would let you know what his opinion is. Any ideas, suggestions?

Sounds really rough. Especially with a 17 yo.

How was he diagnosed? Does he think he has ADHD too? Is he frustrated with his behavior etc?

I have had a recent, good experience with therapy for my younger daughter so I am high on that. He definately needs someone to talk to. Try and get a good referal to a psychologist or a family therapy professional.

A big first question is to decide if he will relate better with men or women before you pick a therapist. He may say he does not want to talk to someone, but a good therapist will get past that.

1) He knows when the homework is done.

2) if a workable combination of meds can be arrived at, do so.

ADD is a disorder. it is not trivial and should not be overlooked.
undefinedMy son is 17 yo, a junior in high school. He was diagnosed in 8th grade with ADD. We then had him put on Strattera, just hated it. Took him off. Again in 9th grade, same thing. Ugggg. Last year in 10th, we tried the natural approach, was ok, but not that great. Now this year, haven't done anything but try to help him through. It is so tough, and alot of arguements, he hangs out with his friends alot, not always a good influence, but so far he hasn't caused any horrible problems. Don't always know if he is being completely honest with us. He struggles in a couple classes, and also has issues with getting everything turned in. When I ask him if it is done, turned in, he tells me yes, then I e-mail the teacher/teachers if needed and find out the opposite. Does he truely think he turned them in? Well, we are almost just about to say, you are on your own. You will either fail, or get your butt in gear. I did talk to dh today and told him we need to do something. Try another med, etc... What I would like to know is, what is the best kind of doctor to go to for ADD? The doctor I have does not want to put him on Adderal/concerta. She says they can become addictive, where as she swears by Strattera. I also told my son he may need to talk to someone if put on meds, and he is addamant on No WAY will he do that. He won't have the choice, but just thought I would let you know what his opinion is. Any ideas, suggestions?

I would encourage you to talk to another doctor and try to find one that your son feels really comfortable with. My son decided to go off his meds a couple of years ago and no matter how awful his life became he insisted that he could "handle" it. Thank goodness we found a child psychiatrist who he really like because she treated him with respect who was able to convince him that he needed the medications, that he was trying to handle something with will-power that just couldn't be handled that way.

There are all kinds of different medications out there and your doctor doesn't seem to be particularly well informed. I formed this opinion from their comment that Adderall and Concerta are addicting! Keep trying. Even though your son is almost an adult he still needs you fighting for him.

Kim

There are all kinds of different medications out there and your doctor doesn't seem to be particularly well informed. I formed this opinion from their comment that Adderall and Concerta are addicting! Keep trying. Even though your son is almost an adult he still needs you fighting for him.

I agree wholeheartedly.

First, Strattera isn't working for him. It doesn't work for a LOT of people.
Second, the research shows that children w/ADHD are VERY unlikely to develop addictions to stimulants if they are taken as directed (not snorted or injected; theraputic doses). BUT, if left untreated, they ARE likely to self-medicate. This is not an age where you want to start dealing with addictions to street drugs.

Over the age of 13, most psychiatrists will treat him. Under that age, you'd need a child psychiatrist. A psychiatrist will be much more informed about the effectiveness and risks of various treatments.

GOOD LUCK!!!

I also told my son he may need to talk to someone if put on meds, and he is addamant on No WAY will he do that. He won't have the choice, but just thought I would let you know what his opinion is. Any ideas, suggestions?
He doesn't want therapy? Not surprising for a 17yo boy, I guess. But, he may not need it.

Suggestion: let him know that most psychiatrists, if they do require some therapy in conjunction with meds, will only do so for as long as they think he needs it. If he truly doesn't need it, the doc will be able to tell. If he shuts down or closes up, he's going to be on the couch awhile! And if it turns out he does need therapy, he'll be glad in the end.

[B]We had him diagnosed finally in 8th grade. He got to where he was failing courses, and high school would be following. We did the connors thing, the teachers did, the school pschologist did his part. He got to a point where he just wanted to try without and that is what we have been doing. It isn't working. Are psychiatrist ones that can talk to them and also perscribe the meds or would we have to use a different doctor for the meds? I think he would relate better to a man, but not sure. We also took him to a pschologist here after 9th grade because I wanted him tested for dyslexia also. Which thank goodness he isn't. He isn't ADHD, just ADD. He is disorganized, of course alot of us are, lol. I will ask him to do something, doesn't get done. I will tell him to be home by a certain time, he will say he thought I said something else. I now have to say, repeat what I just said, but that doesn't always matter. He is a great kid, as of now, he isn't doing illegal things, like drinking or drugs. It is his self-esteem I get really concerned about and wanting to quit school. (which so far he hasn't said that) but I know how much he dislikes school.

[B]Are psychiatrist ones that can talk to them and also perscribe the meds or would we have to use a different doctor for the meds?

Psychiatrists are MDs, so they prescribe.

[B]Well, I talked to our psychologist just a minute ago to see who she could refer us to. I set up an appt. with one of the pediatricians here in town. She said he is very conservative, very good and if we need him to see someone, we would just take him to her again since she has already worked with him. I know he will not be happy, but I don't feel I have any other choice. WE have tried to do it by letting him do it alone or with just our help, but it isn't working. We do have good insurance, so not to concerned about that. I will also talk to the vice principal at his high school to see what our options are to help him, which I know he won't want either. It is all for his own good though.

Good luck with your appointment. I hope your son will keep an open mind. Maybe by encouraging him to take an active role in the decisions to be made will help. I know it was really important to my son to be treated as an individual with a say in his life. Instead of telling him that he had to take his meds I told him I would work with him to find the best solution, but that would include further evaluation by a doctor.

I also told him that if he really wanted to be off the meds I would work to get him there, but that it wasn't something he could just stop without replacing with some other "treatment" (therapy, behavioral mod therapy, autogenous training, yoga, etc). He agreed to wean down which gave a bit of relief while we sorted it out and in the end he stayed on a normal dose by his choice.

I hope that he will work with you...

Keep us posted.

Kim

He doesn't want therapy? Not surprising for a 17yo boy, I guess. But, he may not need it.

Suggestion: let him know that most psychiatrists, if they do require some therapy in conjunction with meds, will only do so for as long as they think he needs it. If he truly doesn't need it, the doc will be able to tell. If he shuts down or closes up, he's going to be on the couch awhile! And if it turns out he does need therapy, he'll be glad in the end.
This is excellent advice. I think that most people who do not want therapy do not really know what it is like.

Exactly what I was thinking. I have tried telling him this, he doesn't want to even think about it.

Took my son to the doctor today, he asked some questions, and put him on Adderal XR, 20 mg. Told me we should notice a difference soon. To watch for the side effects and if we need to give a higher dose. I will keep you posted. My son I think is ready to give it a shot.

Great news!

He has been taking the Adderall for a week and a half now. I think it is helping, but can't tell with school yet. The semester is almost over and he starts the new one next week. Fresh start so hopefully it will help. I have notice he has been bringing up his trash, dishes, cleaning up his room and putting his clothes away without being asked now. So that is an improvement. He did also go see his counsilor at school to get his schedule changed for next semester since he failed two classes this one.

One step at a time. Hopefully, he'll experience some positive stuff in his life which will reinforce that the medication helps him. I'd suggest lots of praise for the changes that you've noticed at home. My son truly feeds off praise. I can see him slurping it up even when he's being a rude, nasty, insensitive, loud-mouthed teen who knows everything and doesn't need us!

Good luck with the new semester. I'll be crossing my fingers. Teachers and classes can make a world of difference in their lives, too.

Kim

NOt sure what his English III grade will be for this quarter yet. He evidently didn't get a major project done. He says he was done, just never presented in class. He said he turned it in to the teacher. I am still waiting. So, today, like he was suppose to do yesterday, he has to talk to his teacher and find out for sure. I told him I want either a note from her or an e-mail so I know he did it and what grade he will get, if any. Then I see too that he is missing the points for his independant book quiz III. He says he couldn't take the test because when he went to do it yesterday, his teacher told him that wasn't one of the books on the list. So now he picked out a different book, small one, and will test on it Friday. He has to. That is the last day of the quarter. So I explained to him he needs to come home after-school and take care of his readying today and tomorrow to get it done. Can't wait until next week when he can start fresh again. Get rid of this semester stuff, new big notebook, etc..... I just hope it goes better. I did let his English teacher know what we are dealing with and that he has just started meds. She said maybe with all of us, we can get him through it.

those are great news!! how is he doing this week?

i cannot wait for the day my son will do the simplest thing without being asked first....

so far this week is going ok. He did assignments in both of his science class's a day early. Which he NEVER does. In English, his teacher is going to check his assignment book before he leaves the classroom and sign it to make sure he wrote it correctly. Which will be a big help. He never seems to write it down for any of his classes. I will then go over his stuff daily to see that he is done. His major issue with school is just getting stuff finished and remembering to hand things in. His problem is, He will tell me "Well, the teacher didn't ask for it. I keep explaining that in high school, they don't always do that. They leave you to be responsible enough to remember that. I will keep you posted.

Sherigraph, great news! My son was diagnosed at age 15. barely got through high school. I went to every single open house, which was his schools answer to parent/teacher conferences. Never did go home from one with a feeling of happiness or relief, he was always behind in something, but I think it helped because I could stay on him and he knew he couldn't hide. It may have made the difference in whether he graduated.

By the way, his IQ is high, so it was the ADD and late diagnosis. Doctors and therapists all missed it because, in my opinion, he was soooo laid back and quiet, no hyperness and didn't get into real trouble. Ticks me off, because of the wasted time. I saw him in numerous sections of Driven To Distraction. Anyway, after starting Concerta, he took it on his own, because it made such a huge difference in his ability to concentrate at school. Once he even called me from school to get permission to run home and take it because he forgot to take it that morning.

As far as going to a therapist, he refused. Typical, I hear, for a teenager. I wish you all the best, and never stop being his #1 fan.

Kim

Kim, thanks. So far, he has been on Adderall for a month. I take him back after school today for his recheck. So far, the first two weeks of this second semester, he is turning in all assignments, has A's in Earth/Space Science, Botany, B in Algebra II, and C+ in English III. I am very happy. He too is very laid back for the most part. Gets frustrated easily when upset, or doesn't do as well on something as he thought he did. I am also keeping up with his schooling, always have, like you. Giving him space as long as he keeps things up. I believe he is smart, just needs to have something to help keep him focuse. I also have that book, Driven to Distraction (among other books.) How old is your son now? What grade and is he doing much better?

undefinedMy son is 17 yo, a junior in high school. He was diagnosed in 8th grade with ADD. We then had him put on Strattera, just hated it. Took him off. Again in 9th grade, same thing. Ugggg. Last year in 10th, we tried the natural approach, was ok, but not that great. Now this year, haven't done anything but try to help him through. It is so tough, and alot of arguements, he hangs out with his friends alot, not always a good influence, but so far he hasn't caused any horrible problems. Don't always know if he is being completely honest with us. He struggles in a couple classes, and also has issues with getting everything turned in. When I ask him if it is done, turned in, he tells me yes, then I e-mail the teacher/teachers if needed and find out the opposite. Does he truely think he turned them in? Well, we are almost just about to say, you are on your own. You will either fail, or get your butt in gear. I did talk to dh today and told him we need to do something. Try another med, etc... What I would like to know is, what is the best kind of doctor to go to for ADD? The doctor I have does not want to put him on Adderal/concerta. She says they can become addictive, where as she swears by Strattera. I also told my son he may need to talk to someone if put on meds, and he is addamant on No WAY will he do that. He won't have the choice, but just thought I would let you know what his opinion is. Any ideas, suggestions?Ugh, I am 17. But I wasn't diagnosed until this year. stimulants like Adderall and Ritalin work for a lot of people, but yes they CAN become addictive. Just from their nature.

I like my Adderall, although, I'm thankful I don't have to be under managment all the time. My creativity seems lessened a good deal when I'm on that, and sometimes I need it, for school even. I understand his opinion, there seems to be a stigma around it, but they're really not that bad the time managment kinda sucks though.

Anywho, I find it hard to believe your son is "refusing" treatment for a condition he KNOWS he has. I had to practically diagnose myself, and then my parents still don't believe that I have ADHD, or that it's real. So he should consider himself lucky, but you could do what prompted me to seek treatement, wait for things to get really bad.

I had reach the point where I was failing all but one of my classes, and I was trying. In my case, that kind of prompted a sense of urgency to get treated because I have aspirations to get into a decent college, your son may be the same way...

EDIT: and about Strattera, I hated the stuff too. Made me feel really icky.

The fact that his English teacher is discussing this as a "we" thing is very encouraging. :) Congrats to your son for making some positive changes in his life. He should be very proud of himself!

Adam, it isn't that he doesn't want meds, he is ok with that, he just doesn't feel the need to talk to someone. He is now on Adderall XR, 20mg. Started 4 weeks ago. It seems to be helping. So far his grades for the new semester are going pretty good. If they start to go down, I will check into a higher dose. He does seem moody at times, but I do understand he is a teenager. Thanks Ms Sunshine, he is trying, so far doing ok. Will wait and see.

Adam, it isn't that he doesn't want meds, he is ok with that, he just doesn't feel the need to talk to someone. He is now on Adderall XR, 20mg. Started 4 weeks ago. It seems to be helping. So far his grades for the new semester are going pretty good. If they start to go down, I will check into a higher dose. He does seem moody at times, but I do understand he is a teenager. Thanks Ms Sunshine, he is trying, so far doing ok. Will wait and see.Aha, well, neither do I, if it's any consolation. But then again my family is very ill-receptive of my disorder(s), so they're inclined to think I'm lying when I'm talking to them... I would talk to a psychologist, but quite simply, my family wouldn't understand anyway, so there is really no point in talking to them. It's possible your son feels the same way?

Adam, you sound like a very smart 17 yo. I can totally relate. My son is so much like me. I see him, and I see me at his age. I was never at the point of failing, but I did get D's. I would always say I did my best, when I knew that I really didn't. I just wanted to get through school and be done. I would have no problem with it if he felt he needed to talk to someone and I have told him that. He is not overly talkative, but he does when he wants to. I tell him if he ever wants to talk, I am here to listen. Thanks for replying to my post.

Don't fool around with a Family Doctor.

Get him tested by a real Psychologist.

If you can't afford the testing, there are government programs taht might help.

(You don't say what Country or State, you are in.)


Em

Don't fool around with a Family Doctor.

Get him tested by a real Psychologist.

If you can't afford the testing, there are government programs taht might help.

(You don't say what Country or State, you are in.)


Em
I was dx'ed by my family doctor, and no there weren't any Goverment programs screaming to come to my aid. I wasn't a discipline problem most of the time, I just kept myself very entertained.

With our son, he was diagnosed by the school psychologist, then we did have him tested by a different one to see about dyslexia. It isn't we can't afford it, for now things are going ok with the meds.

Hi Sheri,
My son graduated from high school this past spring. Barely. He did not want to go to college yet because he doesn't know what he wants to study. He did not like school at all. Many family members as well as myself told him to just take general classes, but he didn't want to do that. He just wanted to get a job and be on his own. While getting ready for graduation (May), husband receives job offer with company he always wanted to work for, but it's in another state. So, we move from Indiana to North Carolina, and son decides to stay behind and get an apartment. He is in no way mature enough to do this, but we had no choice since he is technically an adult. Also, he was very difficult to be around his senior year, very moody, still missing assignments even though on medication, etc., although his grades improved since he could focus. Fast forward to February 2006, he is moving down here and back in with us this coming weekend! Hooray! We don't want him here forever, but I was so worried about him. He is at the moment:) planning on attending a community college this fall.

Adam, are you reading about ADD? Obviously you are on the board, so that is good. If you can see a psychologist who specializes in this stuff, then do it, even if its just for yourself. It will help you so much. I feel bad that you are on your own with this, yet I think you are very self reliant and will do well.

Kim

ncmoma,
Here is what my son tells me. Actually, I am pretty sure he is joking, but who knows. He says he plans on graduating high school and living in a truck, trailer if he has a job and can afford it. He wants to be a bum. I really believe he is just trying to see what my reaction is at the moment. Then, at other times, he does tell me he wants to attend SDSU, but not sure for what yet. I believe something to do with computers. I think he needs a job where he can test out different computer games and see how they will succeed or not. He has never read instructions on computer games, just has always been able to figure them out on his own. As for schooling now, so far he has been on Adderall XR for 4 weeks. He is now into the 3rd week of this new semester and holding up good. He is holding A's and a B, except for his computer class. That teacher has him marked as missing a couple assignments, but my son said she has them. He said she helped him out with things he was having problems with. He went back to school today, was home sick yesterday, so I told him it is his responsibility to check with her and make sure she is grading them, otherwise, he looses out. I think sometimes they do feel the need to be on their own, and as long as they are of age, not much you can do about it, but be there when they need you. Glad to hear your son is moving in with you, for now anyway, and hope schooling goes great for him.

Update on my son. He is doing amazing. Been on Adderall since Dec. 27. He is halfway throught the 3rd quarter and holding A's and B's. He has never done this before and this is the first time we have not received a progress report at the halfway point. They just send them to those parents who's kids have any D's and F's at that point. His computer class, as of yesterday morning, he was holding a D. His teacher had only given him half credit it seems for quite a few of his assignments. He went in to see her to find out why. Turns out she messed up and when she should have put 10 out of 10 correct, she put 10 out of 20 correct. Good thing he talked to her, now he has a B in there. I just wanted to let you know how much better he is doing and how much his self-esteem seems to have improved also. Thanks for everyone's advice, input, encouragement. You are all awesome.

Update on my son. He is doing amazing. That's awesome! So glad to hear it.

He wants to be a bum.
This brought a smile to my face. I can remember in the 3rd grade when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up getting into a whole lot of trouble with school and my parents for saying "a bum, or a hermit"!

I agree, though, that he is mostly joking. Looking at it from my perspective I can only say that those choosing those goals was an indication of how frightening and ill-fitted I felt to make it in the world around me. There may be a bit of that in there, too.

I am so glad that things are looking up for him! Try not to worry too much (hahaha, like we can do that, right?) He may need a bit longer than others to find his way, but for our kids I think that's pretty normal! At least he's getting a good solid start!

Kim

Kim, you're right, it may take our kids a little longer to find his way, but he is at least now heading in the right direction. Although this morning, he chose not to take his meds. He headed out the door, and I stopped him just to hear him tell me he just wanted to skip it today. I did let it go, but he will start it tomorrow for sure. I figured we will see how just missing one day goes. I think he will be ok, he knows he has the ability to succeed. I am not to worried about him saying he wants to be a bum. I think, no, I know he will be ok.

Wow, someone else going through the same thing, why didn't I find this before! My daughter sounds exactly like your son, she is 18 almost 19, we went through the same high school experience...good luck. She is in college and is going in a downhill spiral, she is also dealing with depression, but from things I have read on the forum today its sounding more and more like it's basically her ADD. She did the Strattera...I think it brought her down even more...she has quit meds, won't do counseling(we are working on that) but shes over 18...all I can say is keep working on your son...dont quit...I'm not!

dupesmom, We also looked at our son and possible depression. We would talk to him about it, and he would say, he wasn't depressed. When you are ADD, it can seem like depression. We too tried the strattera with him, twice, and hated it. He got so moody, like we didn't want to be around him. The doctor would say, he is a teen, hormones, blah blah blah. Sorry, but I know my teen. I took him off and he was back to himself. We finally found a doctor who would treat him with Adderall, without having to go talk to someone. Since he is 17 1/2, he is treating him as an Adult with ADD. I wouldn't really push her into counciling. You will find that all they will do is either sit there, or just say what they think the doctor wants to hear. Anyway, my son would. Have you tried her on Adderall XR? If not, you may want to think about it. Maybe give her some information on ADD and Adderall and see. Good luck. I know without the Adderall, my son would still be failing. Even though it has only been since Dec. 27 that he has been on it, he is so much better. He does slip every so often, but he is doing great. Good luck.

I just wanted to post a quick update here on my son. We went to his parent teacher conference last night and he is a junior in high school. This semester, he has 3 of the same teachers as last semester and 3 new ones. His same teachers could not believe the difference in him. They said he is more focused in class, participates, gets his work done and will ask for help if he doesn't understand it. One of his new teachers said he is a really nice kid. Seems to get along with anyone. Whether they are popular, or not. She said he talks to everyone and it doesn't matter who they are. He is very friendly, seems very happy. Said he works hard in class. Alot of great things were said. His grades were, two A +'s, one B+, one B, one B- and ond C. Compared to his last few report cards of C's, D's and F's. He had 3 F's last quarter.

:) Sometimes, we do make mistakes. I'm ALWAYS glad when a student brings a question to me regarding the grade I give. In all these years, it's only ever happened once that a student was given a C when she earned an A. I called her parents personally to let them know I had made a mistake. The poor kid had already spent a weekend grounded because of it. :( I apologized profusely, and let them know exactly how great their daughter had been in class. Now if only I could give her that weekend back...