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12-22-05, 03:27 AM
It's that time of the year for all those holiday parties. I don't know about you, but I get nervous when I go into a room of strangers. I'm shy, but I'm also impulsive. So I usually say or do something stupid before my brain has time to say whooooa.
How do you guys handle it? Do you have any tips for how to strike up a casual conversation?
I've researched the topic of small talk for my podcast and I've put some of the tips that I found below:
--Try to start a conversation with someone's who's alone. That person will probably appreciate being approached.
--It's harder to join a conversation where two people are talking, especially if they're engaging in an intimate or animated discussion.
--Try to join groups of three or more.
--Check the body language before you join a conversation.
--Also, pause and check out the dynamics of the conversation first, so that you can join in with an appropriate comment or question.
--Talk about general, relatable, topics such as the party's host, the party's setting, sports, music, movies and general news.
--Avoid talking about controversial topics such as politics and religion. And never talk about your failing health. That's a real conversation killer.
--Ask open-ended questions with how and why words. This will prompt the other person to respond with more than a monosyllable.
--Listen. This is the most critical skill. Maintain eye contact. Make comments and ask questions that confirm that you're listening. Make sure that person you're talking to feels like the most important person in the room.
I guess most normal people would say "DUH! This is common sense." But I really think there's a lot of complicated social dynamics going on. So for me, especially with my ADD, I don't catch the social cues.
How do you guys do it?
How do you guys handle it? Do you have any tips for how to strike up a casual conversation?
I've researched the topic of small talk for my podcast and I've put some of the tips that I found below:
--Try to start a conversation with someone's who's alone. That person will probably appreciate being approached.
--It's harder to join a conversation where two people are talking, especially if they're engaging in an intimate or animated discussion.
--Try to join groups of three or more.
--Check the body language before you join a conversation.
--Also, pause and check out the dynamics of the conversation first, so that you can join in with an appropriate comment or question.
--Talk about general, relatable, topics such as the party's host, the party's setting, sports, music, movies and general news.
--Avoid talking about controversial topics such as politics and religion. And never talk about your failing health. That's a real conversation killer.
--Ask open-ended questions with how and why words. This will prompt the other person to respond with more than a monosyllable.
--Listen. This is the most critical skill. Maintain eye contact. Make comments and ask questions that confirm that you're listening. Make sure that person you're talking to feels like the most important person in the room.
I guess most normal people would say "DUH! This is common sense." But I really think there's a lot of complicated social dynamics going on. So for me, especially with my ADD, I don't catch the social cues.
How do you guys do it?