lookingforward
12-22-05, 04:54 PM
I have never participated in any type of forum before but this seems like a great place to start. I have been involved with a man for the past 2 1/2 years who has made me insane. Just recently joking around I responded to something he said with "do you have add". After the conversation was over I started to think that maybe he did, I researched it online, found a questionaire and discovered that each question said his name to me. The past 2 years started to make so much sense. I read so much online and am going to get a couple books on the subject.
We discussed it and he pretty much agreed, (not to mention that his brother told me that as a child he had been diagnosed with it, (I wish someone would have told me)), he seemingly forgot about that diagnosis. However, he doesn't want to go to therapy or take medications.
Since then he's been trying really hard to make changes and has opened up communication in a way I never thought was possible. I love him very much and I think that as long as communication and effort are there we can have a great relationship.
My problem is with myself. I can now understand where he was coming from in past situations, why he might have done most of the things he has done that have hurt me, but I haven't been able to let them go. For the past couple years I have taken so many things personally, not knowing that his thought process was so different from my own. Now when he does something, most of the time I can stop and think about whether or not he's just clueless or inconsiderate. But there are still many times when I just want to scream and think he is a jerk. How many ways can I say the same thing. Why can he seem to understand one day and the next day do the same thing all over again.
How do I as a non add'er cope with the frustration and understand his internal struggle.
Sorry this is so long. It's been inside for awhile.
We discussed it and he pretty much agreed, (not to mention that his brother told me that as a child he had been diagnosed with it, (I wish someone would have told me)), he seemingly forgot about that diagnosis. However, he doesn't want to go to therapy or take medications.
Since then he's been trying really hard to make changes and has opened up communication in a way I never thought was possible. I love him very much and I think that as long as communication and effort are there we can have a great relationship.
My problem is with myself. I can now understand where he was coming from in past situations, why he might have done most of the things he has done that have hurt me, but I haven't been able to let them go. For the past couple years I have taken so many things personally, not knowing that his thought process was so different from my own. Now when he does something, most of the time I can stop and think about whether or not he's just clueless or inconsiderate. But there are still many times when I just want to scream and think he is a jerk. How many ways can I say the same thing. Why can he seem to understand one day and the next day do the same thing all over again.
How do I as a non add'er cope with the frustration and understand his internal struggle.
Sorry this is so long. It's been inside for awhile.