I feel like such a bad mom. I love my 12-year old boy and 8-year old girl with all my heart and we enjoy doing some things together. But I don't like to play board games with them and my daughter always rambles on and on when she talks. You have to acknowledge everything she says or she repeats it and it drives me NUTS!

Maybe I need to up my adderall dose....

thanks I'm just ranting cuz the kids really need to have their Christmas break overwith and get back in school! On top of that, my ADHD son's medication isn't quite right yet so he's been a real pain in the **s this week.

I can relate! ...and I don't have kids. If I had them, I would be in a mental institution.

the problem with motherhood is we learn how to tune out. i noticed that early on after my kids started talking. prior to, i found tuning out difficult. i had to teach myself to not listen in on other people's conversations etc.

there is such an art called 'active listening'. it's great when people have something to tell us. but when it's our kids rambling on and on about something totally inane it's impossible.

sometimes i've felt really guilty and sometimes i just accept that i can't pay attention to every one by silencing the theatre of my mind.

Hi LacyLew,

Yes - I am AMAZED that I've made it this far into school vacation in pretty good shape. You say you feel guilty because you don't LIKE playing board games with the kids. Well - I say "bravo" to you for feeling "guilty" about that. Did you ever do it anyway?

I have two, ages 6 and 14, and I forgot how NON-EASY 6-yr-olds still are! And guess what? I don't like doing HARDLEY ANYTHING with my kids that involves a lot of "playing" and being in their mindsets. I find some board games and like crazy-eights to be some of the FEW things I CAN DO. Thank goodness there is something!

I was feeling guilty lots, but I know that doing what I need to do to "not go nutty and start yelling and crabbing" is the BEST thing for my children. The more I have been able to accept myself (INCLUDING MY DISLIKE for many "good mom" tasks) the happier I am, and the better I am at saying to my kids, "I don't really like doing _________, maybe _________ can play that with you. If you wait until after lunch, I would love to __________. Would you like to do that with me?" And I maybe will run over to which ever kid I'm talking to and make a silly face and kiss them or whatever. I know that the fact that I'm listening and genuinely HEARING, LISTENING, and INTERESTED AND CONCERNED with them is what's most important. It doesn't mean I have to change who I am EVERY MINUTE of my life. I got burnt out on that years ago.

Only a few days left 'til school - Good Luck!

SS

Only one of my kids is ADD (and no hyperactivity), yet DH is starting to regret having taken the week off!

The little one (5) is the worst! He's contrary (opposes everything he hears and always says, "I forgot" when you correct him or "I knew that" the few times he doesn't oppose) and he never stops talking!

I have an 8 year old who talks non stop and he's an only child so he has no one else to talk to or play with except me. Thank god for Playstation and Madden 2005 but that only works for so long. Lately I have been making an effort to pause Tivo (such a great invention) if I'm watching something or put down my book and just give him my full attention when he's talking because I think a large part of it is he just wants my attention and wants to know he's being heard and when he gets that he will go keep himself busy. There are times when I tell him just a few more questions and then I need some quiet time please. He's the type of kid who will not accept half as* answers to his questions. He wants all the details and facts. Half the time I have to look them up. He's too smart for his own good. I can only imagine what it's like when he is a teen ager. I don't like board game either but there are some I can tolerate. We played Battleship the other day. I also print coloring pages off the web and we color. I don't understand why winter break is so long. It's the busiest time of the year and the time I really need to be able to run around and do things but it's not fair to drag him around. They should have school. My husband sleep days and works nights so he's no help at all either.

I can relate to that. I HATE BOARD GAMES ;) and my girls got few for Christmas this year.

I do feel badly when I keep saying "not now, later" when asked for the 10th time to play Sorry with them or Clue. Darn I Hate those games,I didn't buy them BTW.

I sometimes have trouble listen to my girls tell me the stories of their day at school. I try to have them talk to me about this when we are in the car.

It's good for me for 2 reason,one I seem to be able to pay more attention to what they're saying and the other thing they don't see my eyes darting around looking at other things and thinking I'm not caring what they're saying. :o

the problem with motherhood is we learn how to tune out. i noticed that early on after my kids started talking. prior to, i found tuning out difficult. i had to teach myself to not listen in on other people's conversations etc.

there is such an art called 'active listening'. it's great when people have something to tell us. but when it's our kids rambling on and on about something totally inane it's impossible.

sometimes i've felt really guilty and sometimes i just accept that i can't pay attention to every one by silencing the theatre of my mind.

So very true !! ;)

I was feeling guilty lots, but I know that doing what I need to do to "not go nutty and start yelling and crabbing" is the BEST thing for my children. The more I have been able to accept myself (INCLUDING MY DISLIKE for many "good mom" tasks) the happier I am,
Wow, yes. I want so much to get the "good mom" qualification list out of my head. Too often I feel inadequate because I'm not able to do with my kids what I "should" be doing with them. Like with so many other things, I look at other mothers and wonder how in the world they do it (park, games, little league, lessons, etc.) when I can barely make it home after school and go outside with them (for just a little while) to play.

But when I try to do the "should" things with them, I am in a much worse mood and get frustrated with them so much quicker. Lately, I have been trying to suggest other (shorter) activities that I can enjoy with them. I try to color with them sometimes, at least then I can hyperfocus w/o being obvious.

What I have to tell myself is that I "should" be doing what works for our family. Maybe I have to come up with my own idea of what a "good mom" does, given the circumstances of ADD, depression, child(ren) with ADHD, etc. What will be most important to my kids overall is that the time I do spend with them, I am "with them"--not occupied elsewhere.

be well,
tristan

I don't have kids, but I do have younger cousins. They bore me to death. They go forever about the most pointless things. I just try to hide my boredom.

The little one (5) is the worst! He's contrary (opposes everything he hears and always says, "I forgot" when you correct him or "I knew that" the few times he doesn't oppose) and he never stops talking!
This sounds just like my 10 year old son. I love him dearly but he will not stop talking. He just rambles on about anything. For the last year it is anything yu-gi-yo (which I know nothing about).

It get gets very tiring. :(

yes.

when my daughter was little. now that she is older, the chatter has died down to more manageable sound bites.

and i really feel guilty, because my son did not bore me. but then, he was always self-contained. this is the kid that would fall asleep while playing with his toys, and i only noticed because he was leaning against the bookshelf.... :o

I did take the time for him to teach me about pokemon when it was popular and let me tell ya.....I'm the pokemon queen in the mom division! We both had gameboys and we'd sit for hours side by side playing pokemon. All his friends thought it was so cool that I knew so much about it. Now it's football and just the other day my son said "mom, I bet you are the only mom in the whole school that knows so much about football". It surprised me how much those little things mean to him. I thought he'd be embarrased for his friends to know that stuff but he's actually proud of it.

OMG I would never have thought kids could be boring but after reading I definately sympathise on the board games LOL. Think I lucked out that my brother was easily distracted. Whenever he wanted to play something I wasn't interested in I'd say lets play (whatever I wanted to play) instead. He'd say ok and that was it.