i have a 3 year old he is unbeliably hyper active its untrue.heres some examples.he will wake up at 7.00 in the morning.then he is awake all day until i put him to bed at 9 in the evening then he is up at 1.00 and wants to play or just run about.i am exhausted totally.his speech is also slow.he doesnt understand simple instructions like no dont do that plzz and then why he shouldnt do it.he is aggressive and one minute he is fine the next he just flies.he climbs and climbs my kitchen units.i have had to put locks on doors and stuff.the playschool said they dont know if its autism or adhd.but i am getting no help or support with it.i am so tired and exhausted and i dont know where to go for help.no one seems to wanna listen.ive been struggaling with this since he was 2.plz if anyone has any ideas to help thanks

I don't know what the health care system is like over there. I'm assuming you're on a national care plan?

My advice:

-- Insist that his pediatrician give you a referral to a psychiatrist, a neurologist, or a psychologist. You need someone who can identify and treat his problems.

-- Don't put up with out-of-control behavior. I realize he's only 3, but I've heard soooooo many parents (in restaurants or stores) say, "Oh, honey, don't do that...", but never provide consequences. If there are not consequences, he won't listen. I doubt he can't understand you; he's probably ignoring the request because it isn't followed up with action.

-- Don't try to "explain" anything to him. At 3 he's not capable of understanding reason. Almost no 3 year old cares "why". Until about age 7, "because I said so" is almost never an inappropriate answer.

-- Pick your battles. I can imagine that the constant "NO!" is grating on your nerves as much as his. I remember when my kids were 2 or 3; everything they did was a "test"! And they're relatively well-behaved compared to most kids! If you stick to what's important, then put your foot down and hold firm, you'll be more effective.

-- Find or make a safe place for him to go wild in. Give him at least one space where you don't have to keep both eyes on him every second. Then, let him go!

Just some ideas.

Good luck with it all!!!

Welcome to the forums!!!

heres some examples.he will wake up at 7.00 in the morning.then he is awake all day until i put him to bed at 9 in the evening then he is up at 1.00 and wants to play or just run about.i am exhausted totally.his speech is also slow.he doesnt understand simple instructions

the playschool said they dont know if its autism or adhd.but i am getting no help or support with it


I am a simple person with a few simple questions.

#1. Does your son take naps....many play schools and day care centers have all the children take a nap!!!!

Why do I ask?

I am the real hyper deal...I gave birth to a daughter much like my self... a day time nap even for a short time would result in a night much like what is described above. End any and all day time naps. if he gets over stimulated during the day an activity like looking at picture books in his room.

Do you have a bed time routine I got this advice from my mom...every night it was
A)end play at specified time.
B) Pick up toys
C) Get cloths out for following day
D) bath
E) story
F) lights out

Hyper people need time to "switch gears"...the routine may not have any immediate noticeable changes but over time if a time schedule is adhered to as much as humanly possible his body will learn even before the brain is consciencely engaged!!! I am 40 the above resembles much of my present day bed time routine still!!!!!Don't tell my mom through:)

If I got up at night it was potty drink to bed period...lights out (except a small night light) unless I was obviously sick mom didn't engage in play or allow me to I had to stay in the bed!!!!! No TV's in his room period during sleep time as they are stumli..radios on (soothing soft music without words!!!!!) may or may not have the same effect. Now mom didn't make the whole house quiet but the room I slept in had to be free of things that would attract my attention away from sleep!!!!!


his speech is also slow. he doesn’t understand simple instructions

His hearing checks out okay????? It has been tested ?? If not do so. One of my daughters wasn't speaking at three and a half what she did say didn't sound right...her ears were full of fluid. Scenes it had been this way much of her life her senses didn't know to "alarm"!!!!! Once the fluid was gone her speak caught up to that of her peers in less than a year.

I had excellent hearing but was slow to speak I did not talk until I was slightly over three but when I did I went from one or two words to full simple sentences over night. Encourage speech (should you dare us hypers tend to be chatty) by not accepting simple grunts/gesturs/pointing for request...you say the word "drink" with him looking at you and you on his level give him time to attempt the same word. It doesn't have to be prefect at first an honest attempt will do...do NOT succumb to fits and tantrums walk off or at least turn your back!!!!!!

Bend to his level make eye contact before giving instructions. keep instructions simple and quick!!!

Why do you believe he does not understand??? My mom thought I wasn't listening because I wasn't still...I was blessed with the quirk of being able to wiggle and listen. It took careful observing on my mom's part to see my behaviors indicated I was indeed understanding....but if she wanted me to do some thing she always made one request the "normal" way second was the bend and look simple direct but neutral tone command variety...

Frankly I often heard her the first time but simply didn't feel the request as urgent until she got down to my eye level made me look at her and then she would repeat it using simple command type approach...after that it was a sharp decrease in out side stimuli (TV wet off, music went off, ect) then a second slightly stronger "command" request with simple immediate consequences for non- compliance and after that it was consequences with no further speaking!!!!!

Consequences included going to bed without story...standing in a corner, not getting to go out side and play, watching cartoons (Saturday mornings only in my day) being sent to my room with door closed were often the kinds of consequence for unacceptable behavior.....I could throw a fit in my room and mom didn't intervene...my room was my "safe place" to vent...still is!!!!!!

If these simple approaches do not work with in a month of consistent use then I would insist upon evaluation for other problems like Autism!!!!

Hope this helps!!!

Meadd823's advice is great.

Just an additional note on speech:

There are a lot of reasons for delayed speech and most are pretty unimportant health-wise. Once you've checked out his hearing and his pediatrician thinks he's fine neurologically, consider some of the following:

-- Does he need to speak? Do you tend to all or most of his needs w/o him needing to tell you in words what those are? MANY kids don't talk because they don't really need to. Often, a second child's speech will be delayed because the older child will speak for them, but sometimes a first child will also be delayed because they simply don't need or want to. He may suddenly start speaking in sentences because he was learning all along, just not using it.

-- When it seems he doesn't understand instructions, this could also be a number of things. ADD can sometimes make it difficult to put words together and form context. I believe this is a working memory/executive function problem, but adults can pretty easily descirbe this. Some good analogies are:

> When having a conversation, I sometimes have difficulty understanding what the other person is saying. I can see their lips moving, but what I hear is a lot like the teacher in those Charlie Brown specials, "Bwah bwah bwah...bwah bwah...bwah bwah."
> When reading, I sometimes have to read a sentence 2 or 3 times before I understand it. (Some normals experience this when tired)

At age 3 it is extremely difficult to tell if his lack of response is from a lack of understanding. A lot of 3 year olds will simply ignore their parents or only listen when they want to. This is a time of testing limits, and it's up to you to set those limits an follow through. Also, with ADD, working memory is usually a problem, so kids can only handle one instruction at a time. A series will completely stall them. They simply can't remember a series, so they can't even start on the first one. Keep your instructions very simple and only give one simple task at a time.

I'm sure you've already thought about a lot of this, but I find I sometimes need reminders, especially when I'm frustrated!

Good luck!

I had excellent hearing but was slow to speak I did not talk until I was slightly over three but when I did I went from one or two words to full simple sentences over night.
I should have finished reading Tammy's post before I posted!!

I'd be -=very concerned=- about a child not speaking.

Speech Areas exist and skills/habits are "mapped" in the verbal MOTOR areas in the growing child's brain.

The Brain's areas of Speech Development is highly time/growth sensitive.

SO -- If things don't develop correctly on time, and don't receive Speech Pathology Therapy intervention, they are un-treatable.

Emma
:)

PS. Ask for a Speech Pathologist. It would be tragic to have a speech/hearing problem that was treatable while very young, but untreated, become permanent. I have seen this happen to a few kids. By age 5, they are in trouble. A lisp or speech impediment is an awful social and employment disability.

I'd be -=very concerned=- about a child not speaking.

She said his speech was slow, not missing.


mmoj82,

There is no reason to panic. His pediatrician should be well qualified to determine if his delays warrant concern. Make sure that his hearing is not impaired and encourage him to talk more.

i dont talk for him i get him to say what he wants and most of the time its gobbelie goop.if i dont understand what he is saying i tell him.he has started playschool and even they have said he is just so constant.and how tired i look.i said it would be nice to have some sleep.my son just climbs and climbs he climbs up the washing machine and my kitchen work units,he climbs on his cupboards in his room.he hardly sleeps.last nigth he was awake at 11 and i had only just gone to bed then he went back to sleep and woke agan at 2 and he was awake then.god ive been knackered today.he is seeing the peadatrician dr this week comming up.cause the healthvisitor is concerned the same as me cause he is due to start first school in sept and he just wont sit still for 5 mins.and we are wondering how he will get on.he is just so full of it and he just doesnt stop at all.ive even tried fenergans to help him sleep that didnt work.ive tried routine putting him to bed same time every night after tea bath .and story.and nothing.except climb climb and more climb.ive had to lock his bedroom windows for his own safety else he would be out of them.madness it is.

i have just been to a peadatrician appointment with my son.and she has diagnosed my son as disabled cause of speech and language and development.i tried to tell her that i think its also something else and she wouldnt listen.im at my wits end.now ive been battaling for 2 years or more now.i totally give up wiv them.the docters are totally useless.

Can you switch Dr.'s under your healthcare system if you are unhappy with the services you are receiving?

If you can, ask around to friends or family to see if maybe they can refer you to a Dr. you might be more happy with and who is more sensitive to your son's needs. My children's Dr. has a very, very sick special needs child, so I've been blessed to have someone who is so understanding of my son's needs.

I think as paren'ts we can be so intuititve when something is wrong with our children, or when a diagnosis might be incorrect. Trust your instincts and don't let them intimdate you.