MGDAD
01-10-06, 02:56 PM
Took my kids snow skiing this last weekend. I have 7 yo that is probably ADHD and a 5 yo that is not. Had a good time and was able to deal with my daughters "eccentric" behaviors much easier than previously. I am able to recognize a behavior as not normal and something that she cannot control, so I feel relief. Where normally I would struggle and try and figure out why she behaved this way and what I need to do to "fix" it, etc, etc. Some examples.
Once when we were getting off the chair lift she ran over my wifes skis and they both fell down. No big deal, it was an accident, but of course my daughter just went off and started screaming at my wife that it was her fault. We just ignored the screaming till it subsided, then when she was calm but kept on insisting it was my wifes fault, my wife told her that my daughter was the one that fell onto my wifes skis. I held my breath because I knew what would happen next. Sure enough she started crying. We told her it was OK, then ignored the behavior. It subsided after a few minutes and we went on our way.
Well previously the initial screaming would have been met with shock and despair from us, and a heated battle over whose fault it is. Now we have learned that the whole "engaging" in a dialog over these issues just causes everything to escalate. It is much easier now for us, and the episodes end much quicker.
She does other things. Sometimes she will fall and just start screaming. She is not hurt, just starts screaming until someone comes and helps her. She likes skiing and is doing OK. Not where she should be for her age and experience, but she is doing OK. Our 5 yo is doing really well, and has a great attitude while skiing.
It is really strange seeing the contrast between the two.
I know I am just ranting here.
One more thought though. These behaviors seem much better described as a form of Autism than ADHD to me. During these episodes she is totally focused on her own feelings and has no concept of what others are thinking. (like the people who stare at her when she is lying in the snow screaming).
These episodes do not seem to affect her in the long term. She gets over them quickly and just continues on her day.
And yes, sometimes these episodes are humorous.
I find it very difficult to describe in words, how these events play out during the day. I hope my descriptions make sense. I read back over it and it seems like normal kid behavior, but you would have to see it to understand. It is all "way over the top".
Once when we were getting off the chair lift she ran over my wifes skis and they both fell down. No big deal, it was an accident, but of course my daughter just went off and started screaming at my wife that it was her fault. We just ignored the screaming till it subsided, then when she was calm but kept on insisting it was my wifes fault, my wife told her that my daughter was the one that fell onto my wifes skis. I held my breath because I knew what would happen next. Sure enough she started crying. We told her it was OK, then ignored the behavior. It subsided after a few minutes and we went on our way.
Well previously the initial screaming would have been met with shock and despair from us, and a heated battle over whose fault it is. Now we have learned that the whole "engaging" in a dialog over these issues just causes everything to escalate. It is much easier now for us, and the episodes end much quicker.
She does other things. Sometimes she will fall and just start screaming. She is not hurt, just starts screaming until someone comes and helps her. She likes skiing and is doing OK. Not where she should be for her age and experience, but she is doing OK. Our 5 yo is doing really well, and has a great attitude while skiing.
It is really strange seeing the contrast between the two.
I know I am just ranting here.
One more thought though. These behaviors seem much better described as a form of Autism than ADHD to me. During these episodes she is totally focused on her own feelings and has no concept of what others are thinking. (like the people who stare at her when she is lying in the snow screaming).
These episodes do not seem to affect her in the long term. She gets over them quickly and just continues on her day.
And yes, sometimes these episodes are humorous.
I find it very difficult to describe in words, how these events play out during the day. I hope my descriptions make sense. I read back over it and it seems like normal kid behavior, but you would have to see it to understand. It is all "way over the top".