I used to be addicted, well maybe not addicted but abuse over the counter medications like Benadryle and Tylenold Cold and alchool but it was more then 2 years ago. I don't drink anymore and abuse pills. When I start adderall XR I was concerned about being addicted to it but so far I am not and I'm pround to say I'm not addicted to it. It's not like I feel any urge or crave adderall, alchool or over the counter pills, so I don't know if I should feel pround of not being addicted to it, I just don't crave any or this and thank God!

I still wonder why I abuse pills and alchool, it scare me just thinking about it but the more I think back the more I realise my anxiety was driving me crazy and when I had bad anxiety attack I try to calm it by abussing pills and alchool. Now I don't do this anymore because I fell normal, seroquel had help me a lot, it's an anti-psychotic and I was psychotic before and since I am on seroquel I now realise it's what help me, it save my life, also therapy, time and the fact that I finnally help myself, all that I guess had make me more normal so I think my chance to abuse pills or alchool are low.

I was thinking maybe my psychiatrist and therapist are right to feel like I had some chance to be addict again and they are right to not wanting to increase my dose of adderall XR but now it's been around 2 months since I start adderall and I don't feel more addict then I used to. I feel I can be trust with an increase dose of adderall. I don't even take it every day, don't crave it but it's sure that most of the time I wish to take it not because I crave it, it just coz when adderall work it just help me more to function and when I don't take it I'm my tired and lazy self and it just hard to get up of bed but I don't feel bad side effets not taking adderall and don't feel any bad craving.

So I feel I can be trust with an increase dose of adderall, I feel I had prouve I'm no addict anymore. I don't even drink and it's been more then 2 years, I also never abuse pills and it be more then 2 years too. It's been more then 2 months now since I'm in charge of my prescribtion pills and never abuse any of them or felt any urge or craving to do so, before a relative had to give my pills, I didn't want to make a fuss about it and let them do so since, in the past they were scare and upset of the fact I abuse pills but now I'm had prouve that I can be in charge of it.

I hope my psychologist will realise that I can be trust with an increase dose of adderall, it will help me so much. kids of 10-12 years old ca be on an higher dose then mine and I'm in my 20. Adults can start at 20mg of adderall and I'm still on 15mg. I sometime think it's unfair but I try to think back and realise their concern of possible addiction, weigh issue and the chance of being psychotic again because of adderall but so far I'm not addict, my weigh is stable, I always weight around 100, at one time I weight 79 pound but it's a long time ago and I was sick, I now weight 96, I think since I saw my psy I gain 1 pound, adderall did cut my appetite a bit but it's during the day and I still eat a little and when adderall wear off I can eat a lot at the end of the day and during the night so adderall don't really cut my appetite. In my family we always weight around 100lbs. Also I didn't become psychotic because of adderall. If I would had know adderall can make you psychotic I will had been scare to try it but I didn't know at first and so far I'm fine.

So I feel I had prouve I can be trust with an increase dose of adderall. Also it's not like it's so hard for me not to abuse of adderall or any pills and alchool, I just don't feel the urge or craving to do so, so I don't know if I should feel pround? I feel normal now, maybe tirer and lazy when I don't take adderall but not crazy, so why I will abuse of pills and alchool when I feel normal? If I did theses stupid things in the past it was because I felt crazy, I felt so bad but now since my anxiety is under controle and I feel more normal I never felt the need of abusing any pills and alchool. I hope my psychiatrist will realise it and trust me with an increase dose of adderall.

I think my therapist realise it? I talked to her about an increase dose and maybe adding adderall IR has need. I asked her if she could mention it to my psy? She said she would. Hopefully she did and my psy will think it's a good idea and trust me with an increase dose and adding IR to my XR. It's just make me uspet and mad not to be trust, I felt I had prouve I can be trust, she sould take in consideration that it's been more then 2 years since I didn't drink or abuse pills. I understand her concern but I feel I had show I can be trust and hopefully she will fell it to and increase my dose and add IR to it. Did any of you have or had to struggle with this type of situation, if so can you let me know how you deal with it? Wish me luck I will need it!:)
Take care!
Peace Sun

I know some people may disagree with me but in my opinion addiction isn't something that just goes away, it's something you manage for the rest of your life. I know that I will always be addicted to pain pills for the rest of my life. Even though I haven't had one in a long time and even though I no longer experience cravings, I still won't take the risk of having them in the house or even accept a prescription for them from my doctor. I already have a plan in place with my doctor if for some reason I was hurt and really needed pain relief. I will not go backwards at any cost. Sometimes I find my addictive like behaviors popping up in other area's of my life and I've found that a good indicator of that is when I start to over justify my behavior or reasons. Which kind of sounds like what you are doing now. Please don't take that the wrong way, I could be totally off base

Casinowife, I'm understand what you saying and I don't take it the wrong way. At first I was scare to become addicted to adderall but since I'm on I don't feel any urge or craving to have more of it. I do feel sleepy, down and lazy when I don't take adderall, when the med work for me it's very helpful but even when I don't take it I feel normal, maybe sleeply and lazy but normal. If I had abuse alchool and pills before it was because I didn't feel normal, my anxiety was driving me crazy. It scare me to think back of that time, I used to wonder why I was doing it, it was stupid and dangerous but now I realise I was trying anything that I can to numb the pain. Now I feel normal, I don't feel crazy, I don't feel the need to numb any pain. Seroquel had help me a lot, also therapy, time and the fact that I had try to help myself but I don't think I will had been able to do so if I would not have the right med.

I don't know if I really was addicted to pills, I only crave it during the time I was taking it, I mean I didn't took pills at first coz I crave it, I take it to not feel any pain but the more I take pills the more I will crave it but the day after I will not crave it. Maybe I was not addicted to pills but I did abuse of it. I never really like the taste of alchool, I force myself to drink it so I don't really know if I was really alchoolic but again I did abuse of it. I can't drink anymore, only one sip will make me sick. My mind could not stop me to drink, my body took the decision and even if sometime it's kinna lame not being able to enjoy a drink with others on holidays I'm glad I'm not able to tolerate alchool anymore.

Me too I was affraid to take a chance with adderall but I had prouve to myself I can be trust and now hopefully I will be able to prouve it to my psychiatrist and therapist. I only asked for a chance, I feel I deserve one, it's been more then 2 years since I used any alchool and abuse of pills, I feel I had prouve I can be trust and deserve a chance. I understand their concern and if that can help I said maybe my therapist can keep an eyes on things. I always was very open with her and in the past I always told her when I abuse alchool with pills, I don't know why I did that, maybe coz I felt guilty and felt better after I told her. I'm glad I did that, it show that I was not able to hide my abuse of pills and alchool and if I will try to get high again the chance for me of telling are high and hidding it are low!

I think my therapist trust me now and she also remember that each time I try to get high I always told her about it. I discussed about all this with her and asked if she could talk about my medications solution with my psy. She said she would and hopefully she did and my psy will also feel and realise I can be trust and she will give me at lest a chance to try! It's hard for me to talk with my psy and to explain to her how I feel about my meds, I'm better in writting. Some peoples told me that maybe it's a good idea to write down how I feel about all this in a letter and give it to her? I feel it's kinna dumb to do so but it's a better way explain more how I felt then trying to tell her and be so anxious that I will forget half of the things I want to tell her or worst forget everything? I got mix view on this, some believe it can be helpful and some feel it's very dumb and silly to do so. Maybe if I give it to my therapist she can read and maybe she will feel I should show it to my psy too and my therapist can give it to her before my next appointment? All this is so complicate but I guess that's what you get by being stupid around alchool and pills! Any advices and help on this will be very appreciate. Thanks and take care!:)
Peace Sun