One of my big incompentencies is the ability to be lighthearted and joke around with friends. It doesn't matter how comfortable and confident I feel, I never know how or what to do or say. I can't think of witty things to say or do like everyone else can, and when I try it is usually a train wreck of stuff that doesn't make any sense.

I also have trouble playing along when someone else in the group is joking around, especially when I'm the focus. Some of it probably comes from my childhood when I was severely bullied and constantly the butt of jokes. I just don't know how to be a good sport about it. Even when I consciously know they are just joking, I have a visceral reaction that takes it in a negative way. Often the other person can see this in my expression even when I try to play it off. I actually *want* to have people feel like they can dish out some ribbing and I can play along and have fun. But something in me is just not there.

I think that when you are around friends it is almost imperative to have this quality. Right now I'm a pretty boring guy to be around, and I wonder if this contributes to some of my social problems.

I'm the opposite....I joke around too much to a point where it ****es people off.

you know, I think my sister is kind of the same, Kansas--she used to get teased a lot in school--I'm five years younger, but I remember taht I would have to be the one sticking up for her when she was in high school. The kids were so cruel. And now, she gets a bit sensitive when we joke around with her--little things can really hurt her feelings. I think my brother-in-law has really helped her, though, and she feels more comfortable about things now.

But all I can say is that you're probably not as boring as you think you are--really, you are what you percieve yourself to be, and people will sense that.....so try to accept that you're not boring--b/c you're really not--and see how that works. And if you really feel bothered when people are joking, sometimes it helps to turn the tables and take a (friendly) jab at the other person--that will put you at ease, at least a little.